Chapter 8 #2
“You didn't make rent this high. You didn't make them bills. You didn't make yourself sick. So don't sit here blaming yourself.”
“But you carry everything.”
“Because I'm supposed to.”
“Says who?”
“Me.”
She shook her head.
“You my child.”
“And you my mama.”
“That don't mean you supposed to kill yourself taking care of me.”
“I'm not killing myself.”
“You don't sleep.”
“I sleep.”
“You worry all night.”
“How you know if you sleep?”
“Because I don't sleep either.”
That shut me up. Mama squeezed my hand.
“I hear you walking around this little apartment at two, three in the morning.”
I looked away.
“You think I don't know?”
“Know what?”
“That you're drowning.”
My eyes burned.
I blinked that shit away.
“I just signed the contract.”
Mama frowned.
“Today?”
“Yeah.”
“And?”
I laughed.
“You wanna know how much?”
“How much?”
“Two hundred and fifty thousand.”
Her mouth fell open.
“What?”
“Exactly.”
“Nyrobi.”
“Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.”
“For carrying that baby?”
“Yes.”
She stared at me.
“Lord.”
“That's what I said. Well, I said some other stuff too…but yea,” I said with a laugh.
“When do you get it?”
“There go the problem.”
Her face dropped.
“Not today.”
“Nope.”
“When?”
“It's scheduled out. I don't get to walk out the lawyer office with a bag of money.”
Mama sat back.
“So you got two hundred and fifty thousand dollars coming and we getting put out today.”
“Basically.”
She stared at me.
Then started laughing.
I looked at her.
“What the hell funny?”
“I don't know.”
That made me laugh too.
For about ten seconds, we sat there laughing like two crazy people. Then Mama wiped her eyes.
“God got a sense of humor.”
“His ass ain't funny.”
“Don't talk about God like that.”
“Well, tell Him read the room.”
“Nyrobi!”
I smiled.
For a second, everything didn't feel so heavy. Then I looked around the apartment and my smile disappeared.
We had to pack.
“I'm calling Nysheca.”
Mama sighed.
“She ain't got nowhere for us to go.”
“I know.”
“Then why call her?”
“Because she got arms. She can carry boxes.”
That got another laugh out of Mama.
I pulled out my phone. Nysheca answered on the fourth ring. I was surprised her phone was on.
“What's up?”
“Where you at?”
“Why?”
“Because I'm asking.”
“Damn, hello to you too.”
“Nysheca.”
“What?”
“We gotta get out the apartment.”
The phone got silent.
“What you mean?”
“Exactly what I said.”
“Like... move?”
“No, bitch. Go outside for fresh air.”
“Okay, damn. When?”
“As soon as possible.”
“What happened?”
“What you think happened? We got evicted.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah. Damn.”
“Where Mama?”
“Right here.”
“She okay?”
“She fine.”
“Where y'all going?”
“I don't fucking know yet.”
The phone got silent again.
“I can ask around.”
“Ask who?”
“I know people.”
“You know drug dealers and people who sleep on box springs in bando’s girl.”
Mama slapped my leg.
“Ow!”
Nysheca laughed.
“Mama hit you?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
“Are you coming or not?”
“Yeah.”
“When?”
“Give me a minute.”
“Nysheca, your minutes be four hours.”
“I'm coming!”
“And come sober.”
It was silent.
“Nysheca.”
“I'm sober,” she said.
“I'm serious.”
“So am I.”
I didn't completely believe her bad as I wanted to.
“Alright.”
“I'll be there.”
She hung up and my mama looked at me.
“You ain't have to say that.”
“Yes, I did.”
“She trying.”
“I know.”
And I did, that was what made being mad at Nysheca so hard.
Under all the shit she did, I knew my sister wasn't a bad person.
She was just lost. And I didn't have enough hands to pull everybody out of everything at the same time.
I went into my room and pulled the first suitcase I could find from the closet. Then I started throwing clothes inside.
I didn’t have it in me to fold shit up and organize it, I was just moving. Because if I stopped, I was going to think. And thinking was dangerous right then.
My phone rang.
Kaizleigh.
I stared at her name and didn't answer. Then a text came through.
KAIZLEIGH: You make it to work okay?
I turned the phone over.
Nope. Not her. Not Billion.
I wasn't calling the Stylez family two hours after signing a $250,000 contract talking about I needed somewhere to live. Absolutely the fuck not. I still had some pride left. Even if I had nowhere to put it.
Nysheca showed up almost an hour later wearing leggings, a bonnet and some slides like she had rolled straight out of somebody's bed.
I opened the door.
“You sober?”
She pushed past me.
“Damn, can I come in first?”
“That wasn't an answer.”
“Yes, Nyrobi. I'm sober.”
I looked at her eyes.
She stared back.
“Happy?”
“No.”
“Whatever.”
She walked into the living room. Mama had started folding clothes. Nysheca looked around.
“So this shit for real?”
“No, we packed the whole house to surprise you.”
“Why you keep being sarcastic?”
“Because stupid questions irritate me.”
She sucked her teeth.
Then she looked at the boxes.
“Where y'all going?”
“Still don't know.”
Nysheca's face changed.
“Damn.”
“That's what you said on the phone.”
“Because it's fucked up.”
“Very.”
She dropped her purse on the couch.
“Tell them I'll carry the baby.”
I stared at her.
“What?”
“For the rich people.”
“Nysheca.”
“What? Shit, I'll carry twins.”
Mama started laughing from the couch.
“You don't even know the people.”
“I don't need to. They got another embryo? Put that bitch right here.”
She rubbed her stomach.
I threw a shirt at her.
“Shut the fuck up and pack.”
“I'm serious.”
“They ain't putting shit in you.”
“Why?”
“Because you can't even stay off Molly long enough to answer the phone.”
The second it left my mouth, I regretted it. Nysheca's smile disappeared and mama stopped folding.
I sighed.
“Ny—”
“Nah. You right.”
“Nysheca.”
“I said you right.”
She grabbed one of the empty boxes.
“I'll do the kitchen.”
She walked away before I could say anything else. Mama looked at me.
“I know,” I said before she could say anything.
“You hard on her.”
“Because somebody gotta be.”
“She hard enough on herself,” mama replied with sympathy.
I looked toward the kitchen.
“I don't know how to help her.”
Mama's voice softened.
“You can't help somebody before they ready.”
“Then when the hell she gonna be ready?”
“I don't know.”