Chapter 3 #2
"You would've had cream paint all over this floor if I wasn't following behind you."
He smiled.
"You probably right."
"I know I am."
He leaned back in the chair, looking toward the crib.
"I still think gray would've looked better."
"It wouldn't have."
"It would've."
"Cream feels warmer."
He nodded once.
"I'll let you have that."
"You didn't have a choice."
"I figured that out after we got married."
I couldn't help but laugh.
"Now that's probably true."
The room grew quiet again. I rested my head against the chair and looked out the window.
"I still come in here sometimes," I admitted.
"I know."
"I talk to babies that ain't even here."
His jaw tightened, but he didn't interrupt me.
"I know it probably sounds crazy."
"It don't."
"I just..." I swallowed. "I don't want to forget what it felt like to believe."
He looked over at me.
"I ain't forgot either."
Our eyes met.
"I know everybody thinks this room makes me sad."
"It does."
"It does," I agreed. "But it also reminds me why I keep trying,” I added.
Billion leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees.
"I ain't never asked you to stop trying."
"I know."
"And I never will."
I reached over and slipped my hand into his.
He looked down at our hands before rubbing his thumb across my knuckles.
"You hungry?"
I laughed.
"Billion..."
"What?"
"It's barely six in the morning."
"So?"
"You wake up thinking about breakfast?"
"I wake up thinking about whether my wife ate."
I smiled.
"I'll eat."
He gave me a look.
"You said that yesterday."
"And I did."
"Half a piece of toast don't count…til Miss Lorraine cooked."
"It counted enough for me…hell I’m still full."
"It didn't count enough for me."
I smiled to myself.
"You keep up with everything I do."
"I keep up with you."
His answer came so fast it made me look at him.
"You make it sound easy."
"It ain't."
He looked around the nursery again before his eyes found mine.
"Loving you been the easiest thing I ever did."
I squeezed his hand.
"But watching you hurt..."
He looked away for a second.
"...that's the part I still ain't figured out."
I slid my chair a little closer until our knees touched.
"You don't have to figure it out."
"I know."
"You just have to stay."
He nodded once.
"I can do that."
"I know you can."
He kissed the back of my hand before standing up.
"Come on."
"Where?"
"I'm making breakfast."
I raised an eyebrow.
"You?"
He looked offended.
"I know how to cook."
I laughed.
"Billion Stylez..."
"What?"
"You sign contracts better than you season food."
He smirked.
"You gone eat it anyway."
"I probably will."
He held his hand out.
"You coming?"
I slipped my hand into his and let him pull me to my feet.
As we walked out of the nursery, I looked back one last time before quietly closing the door.
By the time we made it downstairs, the smell of coffee had already taken over the kitchen.
Miss Lorraine looked up from the stove the second we walked in.
"There go my babies."
Billion looked over at me with a grin.
"See? I told you she was gone beat us down here."
Miss Lorraine rolled her eyes.
"I been up."
She slid two coffee mugs across the island before setting a plate of fruit between us.
"I know y'all ate late, so I kept it light this morning."
Billion reached for a strawberry.
She smacked the back of his hand with a dish towel.
"Wash your hands first."
He looked at me.
"You see how she treat me?"
I smiled into my coffee.
"You probably deserve it."
"I definitely don't."
Miss Lorraine pointed toward the sink.
"Go on."
Without another word, Billion turned and walked over to wash his hands.
I watched him for a second before looking down into my coffee.
I don't know if it was the steam or the quiet or just the way the morning sunlight poured through those kitchen windows...
But for the first time since the miscarriage...
My chest didn't feel quite as heavy. Billion came back over and slid onto the stool beside me. Without thinking, he reached for my hand beneath the island. I smiled to myself.He always did that. No matter where we were he found a way to touch me.
Sometimes it was my hand, sometimes the small of my back, sometimes he'd simply brush my shoulder as he walked past. Little reminders that said...I'm here.
He looked over.
"What you smiling at?"
I shook my head.
"Nothing."
He narrowed his eyes.
"You sure?"
"I'm sure."
He nodded once.
"Alright."
He didn't press me.
He never did.
Instead, he picked up another strawberry, looked over at Miss Lorraine, then quietly reached across the island and stole one off my plate instead.
I laughed.
"You know that's mine."
"I know."
"You got your own."
"I wanted yours."
Miss Lorraine looked over just in time to catch him.
"Billion Stylez."
He froze.
"Yes, ma'am?"
"Leave that girl's fruit alone."
He held both hands up.
"I was just borrowing it."
"You ain't borrowing nothing. Eat what's on your plate."
I couldn't stop laughing.
He looked at me and shrugged.
"I tried."
I leaned over and kissed his cheek.
"You can have the strawberry."
A slow smile spread across his face.
"I knew you'd come around."
I shook my head.
"You are spoiled."
"So I've been told."
He winked before taking another bite.
Watching the two people I loved most argue over a strawberry should've felt ridiculous.
Instead, it felt like home and, after the week we'd had…home was exactly where I needed to be.