22. Nick
Nick
I’m sitting at a corner table in one of my usual haunts.
It’s one of those bars with low lighting and music that can be heard if you’re not talking.
People like me, wealthy, powerful and in search of a little quiet time fill the seats.
There’s plenty of space between the tables to provide privacy.
I don’t have to worry about women trying to sit on my lap or asking me to dance.
I gently shake the large, perfectly square ice cubes in my glass. How someone can charge an extra dollar for ice cubes is a surprise. But someone figured out a way to make money on water.
Smart.
When Jessie walks in, he spots me immediately.
“Nick,” he says, sliding into the seat across from me. “Long time no see.”
I nod, raising my glass in a half-hearted toast. “Jessie.”
I know what this meeting is. He sent me a text earlier this morning and asked me to meet up. I knew he was going to be coming to town, but I had kind of hoped to avoid him. I wasn’t sure if the secret was out yet.
What am I supposed to say? “I knocked up your little sister and we’re pretending to be engaged?” I don’t think that would go over very well.
He’s probably going to kick my ass. The liquor will help that.
He signals the bartender for a drink and then looks straight at me. “Amelia called me. Said you and Ava were living together. Care to explain?”
I freeze, my glass halfway to my lips.
And there it is.
“It’s … complicated,” I say finally, setting my glass down.
Jessie raises an eyebrow, his expression unimpressed. “Complicated how?”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. “My parents were in town. You know my mom, she’s relentless with the matchmaking.”
“Always has been,” he says.
The server brings him his drink and quickly walks away.
“My mom was really on a tear. She set me up with yet another woman that drove me fucking nuts. In a moment of panic, I told her I was already engaged. I thought it would get her to stop.”
“I’m not hearing how Ava ended up living with you.”
I’m feeling a little hot under the collar. “I asked Ava if she would play the part of the fiancée. She agreed.”
“Why Ava?” He’s clearly not going to accept my bullshit story.
“She was just there. It was just a temporary thing to keep them off my back.”
Jessie stares at me, his expression hardening. I don’t want to get into a brawl in the club, but I can see his anger growing. He doesn’t believe my story.
“Nick, I’ve known you for a long time. This isn’t just some fake bullshit. What’s really going on?”
I don’t know how much Jessie knows, and I don’t want to make things worse. We’re going to be family. At least family adjacent. I’m the father of her child. I know it in my soul. I don’t need a paternity test.
And that means he and I are going to be spending a lot more time together.
“We were kind of seeing each other,” I admit finally. “But it wasn’t serious.”
That isn’t entirely true.
Jessie’s eyes narrow, his jaw clenches, and his fingers wrap around the glass hard enough to make the knuckles white. He wants to kick my ass. And I don’t blame him. When he finds out about the rest of the story, he’s going to look for the nearest cliff to push me off.
“Not serious? You were living together, Nick. That doesn’t sound like ‘not serious’ to me.”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t like that. It was just an arrangement. She helped me out.”
Jessie sighs and shakes his head; his expression serious. “Nick, Ava’s my baby sister. I need you to shit or get off the pot with her. I know you, and I’m not going to let her be another casualty in the long line of your broken hearts club.”
“Relax. She doesn’t live with me anymore.”
“Do not even try and bullshit me,” he says. “I know it wasn’t nearly as innocent as you’re trying to sell. I don’t need the details, but I know damn well you’re not as innocent as you’re trying to say.”
I sigh. I’m not going to admit shit, but I’m not going to deny it.
“Jessie, I know what you’re thinking, but I promise, it’s not nearly as bad as you think.”
“Isn’t it?” he says, his voice rising. “You’ve got a reputation, Nick. And I’m not going to let Ava get caught up in your mess.”
Jessie’s right—I do have a reputation. But this is different. Ava’s different.
“I care about her,” I say finally, my voice rough. “More than I’ve cared about anyone in a long time.”
Jessie looks at me with surprise and disbelief. “Then prove it. Don’t let her down.”
“I don’t want to. Trust me, I don’t, but like you said, I’ve got some history. I’m not sure I’m really what’s best for her.”
“You need to be straight with me,” he says. “What the hell is going on?”
I swirl the whiskey in my glass, the ice clinking softly, and take a deep breath. Jessie’s staring at me, waiting for an answer. I know I can’t dodge this anymore. Not with him. Not about Ava.
"It started at your wedding," I say. "I saw her standing there in that bridesmaid dress, laughing at something one of your cousins said. I don't know what it was about her, but I couldn't take my eyes off her."
Jessie's expression softens slightly, but his guard is still up. I don't blame him.
“She wasn't impressed by me,” I tell him. “Do you know how refreshing that is? To meet someone who doesn't give a damn about my money or my status?"
I take another sip of my drink. Instead of giving him details about the one thing I know he does not want to hear, I find myself thinking about all the reasons I’m missing her.
“She has this way of listening, you know?
Like she's actually hearing what you're saying, not just waiting for her turn to speak. "
"I know," Jessie says. "She's always been like that."
“I honestly didn’t expect to see her again. Then we ran into each other at work. She’s in HR, and I don’t directly work with her, so I didn’t see an issue with our … history.”
He flinches. I get it. He doesn’t want to know about his sister’s sex life. With me. I totally get it.
“Anyway, I found myself unable to stay away from her. I found myself making excuses to see her. Stopping by HR for ridiculous reasons.”
I'm surprised by how easily the truth is flowing out of me now. I've never admitted these things to anyone. I've barely admitted them to myself.
"She's not like anyone I've ever met, Jessie. She calls me on my bullshit. She doesn't care about my money or my status. She sees me—the real me. Not the CEO, not the guy on the magazine covers. Just … me."
Jessie's watching me like he’s a highly trained CIA agent looking for signs of deception. He’s not going to see it. It’s the truth, and now that I’m finally giving words to the feelings I’ve been suppressing, I can't stop now.
"I didn't want to get attached. I kept telling myself it was just casual, just fun.
But then …" I trail off, trying to find the right words.
"I started looking forward to seeing her every day.
I started thinking about her when she wasn't around.
I'd see something funny and think, Ava would laugh at that.
I'd try a new restaurant and think, Ava would love this place. "
I feel exposed in a way I haven't in years. "And then the whole thing with my parents happened, and I panicked. I asked her to pretend to be my fiancée, and she agreed. But living with her, even for that short time … it felt right, Jessie. It felt like she belonged there."
He nods. “And now?”
I wince. “We’re, uh, I don’t know. She’s back at her place. I’ve been traveling pretty much nonstop for the last two weeks.”
“So you used her and then sent her packing.”
“No!” I should have known that’s where his mind would go. “That’s not it. Things are just up in the air right now.”
“And what does she think about it?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think she really wants to be around me right now.”
“What did you do?” he asks.
“I didn’t handle things right,” I admit without telling him about the baby.
He slowly nods, sipping his drink and looking very much like Marlon Brando debating my fate.
"Let me ask you something, Nick," Jessie says, setting his glass down. "Are you in love with my sister?"
The question hits me like a freight train. I've been skirting around it, dancing at the edges, but I haven't let myself fully acknowledge it.
"I don’t know, possibly," I say finally.
Jessie nods, not looking surprised. "And have you told her that?"
"No."
"Why not?"
I laugh, but there's no humor in it. "Because I'm terrified, Jessie. I've never felt this way about anyone. And given my track record, I'm pretty sure I'll find a way to screw it up."
"So, you're just going to let her go? Without even trying?"
"It's not that simple."
"It is that simple," Jessie counters. "You either love her enough to fight for her, or you don't."
"There's more to it than that," I say, trying to figure out how to navigate this without revealing Ava's secret. It's not my place to tell him about the baby. That's her decision to make.
Jessie leans forward, his expression serious. "Listen to me, Nick. Ava's been through enough. She deserves someone who's going to be there for her, who's not going to fail her.”
“I know.” I nod. “Which is why I’m not sure how to do this. I respect your family. I don’t want to screw things up with you. I’m figuring it out.”
“Don’t wait too long,” he says.
“I know. I’m figuring it out. This is new to me."
"You better, because I swear to God, Nick, if you hurt her …"
"I know," I say quietly. "I know."
We sit in silence for a moment, each lost in our own thoughts. I think about Ava, about the baby, about the mess I've made of everything.
"I should go," Jessie says finally, finishing his drink. "I promised to stop by and see Amelia’s baby. I’ll be in town for a week. We’ll have to get together before I leave.”
“Sounds good.”