5. Chapter Five
Chapter Five
Luna
When the van picks up speed, the familiar hum of the motor tells me we’re on the interstate. My engine loves the open road best. Me too.
I don’t really care where we are going as long as Carson is taking me away from Cheyenne.
I’m not sure I’ll ever visit there again.
It’s not that I didn’t like being able to watch my brother and sister from a distance.
It’s not because of the people, or the scenery.
I can tell you all the reasons I liked the place, but what I can’t tell you is why I don’t.
It’s not what you think it is either. My father isn’t here anymore, and my memories of visiting him here are not ones I want to erase, at least not entirely. This is where I met my brother.
I run my fingers over the butterfly Carson gave me.
There was a darkness in Cheyenne. I couldn’t escape it. It was like a shadow on a cloudy day. I couldn’t see it, but it was there. The further we drive, the better I feel.
A small smile lights my face, and I risk a peek. Carson and his brother are in the front seats of my van. The two of them are laughing and chatting together, but somehow, he’s completely aware that I’m watching them.
His eyes meet mine in the mirror, and I know he wants me to come out of my hiding place. I shake my head, no.
“Oh fuck,” his brother says, drawing our attention to him. “It’s Rage and Serenity. I bet they are headed to Disneyland for their little family-moon.”
Carson gives me another reassuring smile. I jump from the closet, and slide into the table beside the window. My back windows are tinted so I know my brother won’t be able to see me.
Carson slowly begins to pass Chance’s truck, and I silently thank the moon for being bright tonight, so I can see him and his family.
Tears cascade down my cheeks as Mila waves both of her hands at Carson’s brother excitedly. I see him making funny faces at her out of the corner of my eye. Carson keeps us steady beside them, giving me an opportunity to get a good look at her.
She’s beautiful. I see her hold her little hands up, trying to make a heart at Carson’s brother.
Her little body shakes, her head tipped back in laughter as we slowly begin to pull away.
My brother’s normal scowl comes into view, but it’s somehow changed. He’s found peace with Serenity and their children.
When I first met Chance, I was scared of him. The only man I really had ever known was my father. I had no reason to believe boys could be any different. He showed me they can be as different as night and day.
Eventually, I realized he was running interference between my father and me.
On some of my visits, I would spend the entirety hiding.
Chance brought me food and gave me the all-clear for bathroom visits.
But when I began to notice the bruises my dad was giving him, I never let Chance cover for me again.
After he ran away from home, my visits there were almost unbearable. Our parents’ drug use got worse, and what had once been a nice place to live fell apart. I started to realize Chance must have been the one holding everything together.
When it got so bad it spilled out onto the front yard, there was no hiding it from my mother. Instead of dropping me off one day, she drove right to the police station, and I never had to go back again.
You’re probably wondering why she never did anything until then? Well, it’s because she didn’t know. I never told her. My mom had been abused by her father, and I didn’t want her to somehow feel responsible for me going through the same thing. So, I carried the burden of my father’s darkness alone.
Do I regret that?
Yes, and no. Adult Luna would absolutely tell her, but the little Luna, well, she was protecting the woman she loved more than life itself.
I would have done anything for her. My mother was everything to me, and I know if she knew what my father had done to me, she would never have forgiven herself.
When we slide in front of my brother’s vehicle, I hurry to the back, diving onto my mattress to look out the back window. “They look so happy. I mean, other than Chance being pissed at me,” I whisper, chuckling to myself.
“There’s a rest area ahead. Do you want to pull over, so you can see them?” Carson yells from the front.
“No.”
His brother moves from the front seat, joining me on my bed. “My name is Cole. You’ve probably figured out that I’m Carson’s brother.”
“I never would have guessed,” I say, watching Chance race to catch up to us without going over the speed limit. He would never do anything to put his family at risk. “Can you pick up the pace a little?” I yell up to Carson.
“Yes, ma’am,” he answers.
Cole laughs. “For some reason, I thought you were going to be timid.”
“Why would you think that?” I ask, rolling over onto my back to stare up at the colorful fabric I’ve pinned onto the ceiling. He gives my brother a final glance before sitting up beside me.
“For one, you’ve been hiding in the closet the entire time we were working on your vehicle.”
“Oh, I wasn’t hiding.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Well, what was it then?”
“Not that I owe you an explanation …” I narrow my eyes at him. “But it’s my security blanket.”
Carson chuckles from the front.
“Huh, my brother and I never had one of those.”
“Oh, really?” I roll my eyes, because I already know what their “security blanket” is. It’s each other.
“Nope.” His gaze bounces playfully over my face.
“Not even a favorite toy?”
He shakes his head. “My brother and I don’t get attached to things.” His jaw clenches, worry flickering across his face.
I sit up beside him. “Well, I don’t either,” I say a bit more aggressively than I intend. “I’m sure my brother has mentioned that I don’t stay in one place for very long.”
“Except when you break down.”
“Exactly.”
“So you don’t plan on staying in Nevada long?”
“Cole,” Carson warns from the front seat.
The two of them have an entire conversation without saying a word to each other.
We’re going to Nevada. Pretty state. It will get no complaints from me.
“Of course not,” I tell Cole, interrupting their telepathy.
Cole’s shoulders relax while Carson’s pull up. It doesn’t matter what either of them think. It doesn’t even matter what I think. I go where the wind blows me. It’s never failed me.
“Why are you being such a chicken about seeing Rage?”
“Cole,” Carson warns again.
“I’m not.”
He rolls his eyes at me.
“I don’t care if you believe me or not.”
Carson barks out a laugh from the front.
“My brother has a life, and I don’t want to disrupt it,” I explain honestly.
“Sounds like a lame ass excuse. What else are you hiding in that closet of yours?”
“Christ, dude,” Carson says. “Get up here and take over the driving.”
Both Cole and I ignore him.
“Why don’t you get in and find out for yourself,” I tell him, waving my hand over the door.
“I can’t fit in there.”
“Well, then I guess you’ll never understand the appeal.” I shrug before heading to the front.
I slide into the passenger seat beside Carson.
He glances at me before turning back to the road. “I’m sorry,” he says.
“There is nothing to be sorry for. He has questions. I get it.”
When I look behind me, Cole has already moved up to the table behind us. He’s staring up at the moon already deep in thought.
“Thank you for getting me out of there.”
He nods, keeping his eyes trained on the road. “We got everything fixed on the van and put new tires on.”
I cringe. I’m all for helping others, but I’m not a big fan of accepting help. He continues, telling me about the oil and a few other minor things they took care of.
“I thought you wanted me to drive,” Cole says when he’s finished.
Carson shakes his head. “I got it, brother.”
“I’m sure you do,” he snips quietly behind me.
An uncomfortable silence follows, and I’m not sure if it’s because of me.
Of course it’s because of me.
“So, we’re going to Nevada. Whereabouts?”
“The northwestern part of the state. South of Reno. Our family and club are there.”
These must be the brothers Chance spoke to me about. He was sad to see them leave his club.
“Nice. I’m looking forward to exploring a new area. And don’t worry, I’ll pay you guys back before I leave.”
“We’re not going to take your money,” Cole says like it’s the most ludicrous statement he’s ever heard.
“Why would you pay for all those repairs? If you won’t take my money, I’ll find another way to pay you back.”
Carson turns his head sharply toward Cole before he can respond. Whatever passes between them, Cole stays quiet.
I sigh, settling back in the seat. Honestly, it’s kind of nice not having to drive.
“I’m sure we can work something out,” Carson says, reaching over to place his hand on my leg.
The minute he touches me, our eyes connect. He swallows hard, glancing between me and the road.
There’s something about his energy mixing with mine that feels good. I give him a shy smile and look away.
He slowly removes his hand, but not before giving my thigh a gentle squeeze.
A cascade of unfamiliar sensations rolls through me. I squeeze my legs together, overwhelmed by my body’s reaction to him.
Cole clears his throat behind us.
I jump from the seat to grab him a bottle of water. I toss it to him and then disappear back inside my closet.
My arms wrap around myself as I try to calm my racing heart.
No one has affected me the way Carson does.
It’s unusual … but also very nice.