29. Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Carson
Oh my god. I hold my head in my hands as everything comes rushing back to me. Cole. The fight. My dad …
I fall backward onto the mattress, the pain from what he told us last night hasn’t eased.
There’s only one way around it, and that’s with a bottle of Jack.
I stumble to the kitchen to see if we still have a bottle stashed in the cupboard over the refrigerator.
As I’m reaching for it, I hear a soft snore coming from the living room.
Cole must have crashed on the couch last night. I’m surprised he even came home.
Bingo. One bottle of liquid magic mind eraser.
I grab it, glancing over at the couch as I head back to my room.
My feet instantly stop, and I sway in place, sloshing the brown liquid in the bottle I’m carrying. It’s Luna.
She’s in my house.
Our house.
Guilt hits me until I notice what she’s holding. One of my favorite photos of Cole and me. It was taken at the Sunflower Festival last year. We were so fucking happy. We were back living in Nevada. Our cabin was finished and life was fucking perfect … or so I thought.
Then I notice her lips.
There, now it’s perfect.
I didn’t know what I was missing until the universe thrust it in front of my face.
God, she’s beautiful.
And mine.
My attention drops to the bottle in my hand which leads me back to where I’d been last night. More specifically, the person I’d been.
Do I want to continue down that path?
Luna stretches, rubs her nose, and then curls up into a little ball, never letting go of the photo.
She’s cold.
I jump into action, putting the alcohol away. As I’m grabbing her a blanket from my room, I come to an acceptance. Life is about to get hard, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be soft too.
Luna smiles in her sleep when I drape the blanket over her.
She stayed even after seeing how out of my mind I was. She trusts me that much.
I can never betray that.
Immediately I go back to my room and shower, feeling stronger than I have in a long time.
My mom needs me … my baby sister … Luna … my dad … and Cole. They all need me to be the man my parents raised.
I think about the women from the bar last night. One didn’t say a fucking word, while the other never seemed to stop.
The quiet one stayed beside me until Rage showed up. The other took my keys.
If they hadn’t …
I swallow down the shame. I know better than to drive drunk.
I’m not even sure what possessed me to go to Trap, but I can never let it happen again. None of it. Starting with the fight with Cole. That especially can never happen again.
When I get back out to the kitchen, I find Luna getting ready to make breakfast.
The two of us fall into easy steps, moving around each other in the quiet of the morning. Just like we did in Ireland. Nothing feels different … only the scenery.
Everything is normal until I lean against the stove and feel her arms wrap around me from behind. She lays her head against my back.
“I’m sorry your mother is losing her hearing,” she says quietly.
I know she feels my grief as if it were her own. I hear it in her voice, and the way she trembles against me.
“I’m scared for her,” I admit.
Luna tightens her arms around me. “I know. But she’s still your mom, Carson. That’s not going to change.”
Someone knocks, interrupting our conversation.
“Shit, it’s Jackson,” I say, rushing toward the door and instantly assuming the worst. Something’s happened to Cole.
The look on his face tells me I’m right.
“Can I come in?” he asks.
“Yeah.” I hold the door open for him.
He smiles when he sees Luna standing at the stove. “Luna, it’s nice to see you again. It looks like you’re taking good care of our little Carson.”
She laughs because Jackson isn’t all that much older than me even though he’s my uncle.
She wipes her hands off on a towel, her face turning serious. “I hope nothing is wrong. Is Cole okay?” she asks.
He laughs. “No beating around the bush with this one, eh?”
“No. But I’m assuming your good mood means my brother is okay?”
He places his hand on my shoulder. “Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. But I do have a matter of concern. The women you were with last night. They’re missing.”
Luna’s head snaps back so fast, it almost surprises me.
“Oh shit,” Jackson says, laughing and holding up his hands. “Not like that. Shit. Sorry. He wasn’t with two women. They work for Jesse. They spotted Carson going into the bar over in Trap and called her. She asked them to keep an eye on him until someone could come get him.”
“They’re missing?” I ask, seeing Luna declare a false alarm, tucking her green-eyed monster away. But I make a mental note that it’s there.
“Dirk and Jesse went over there this morning to get your keys, so that Raffe could bring your bike back and they didn’t answer.”
“Maybe they’re sleeping,” I say, looking at my watch.
“She kicked the door in and looked.”
Luna’s mouth falls open.
“Then she went over and kicked in the bar owner’s door when he didn’t answer.” Jackson sighs loudly. “She found him inside, but she didn’t like his answer to her questions, so she set it on fire.”
“The house or the bar?” I ask.
“Both.” Jackson waves his hands out. “I just need to know if you remember them saying anything about where they might be going.”
“The one didn’t say a word, and the other one just chewed my ass about being there.”
“Yep. That’s them. Well, fuck, if you think of anything let me know. Hopefully they’re good. We don’t really have any reason to believe they’re not.”
“Except Jesse’s gut feeling?”
He nods.
Fuck.
That doesn’t bode well for them, because Jesse is usually spot on.
She set something on fire …
This is serious.
“If you need help, let me know,” I say as I walk him out.
“I just need you to take care of my sister. Your mom needs you right now.” He gives me a hug and then leaves.
As soon as the door closes, Luna suggests we take our breakfast down to my parents.
“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. If you don’t mind.”
Not that I’m ready to face Mom, but her pain far outweighs any discomfort I might be feeling over this. She’s the one losing one of her senses.
“I don’t mind at all. They helped me get home last night. I’d like to do something for them.”
I chuckle sadly. Of course they did.
I ran out on her. How the hell did I think she’d get home?
“I am so sorry, Luna. That will never happen again. I promise.”
“Well, I ran out on you once, so we’re even,” she says while wrapping tinfoil over the glass dish she just placed the sausage in.
The way she smiles brings me comfort I’ve never felt with another woman. Like she sees all of me, even the parts I hide from my family. The insecurities. The shame. She knows it’s all there and yet she chose me.
“Just so you know, this picnic basket is Cole’s. I don’t own anything as …”
She looks down at the basket and smiles. “Aw, that’s sweet. Cole likes picnics?”
“Well, I do too, but …” Dammit why didn’t I say this fucking thing was mine.
The melodic laugh that leaves her mouth halts my thoughts.
“You’re teasing me,” I accuse.
“Maybe.” She takes my free hand and walks closer to me.
I’d enjoy it a whole lot more if the thought of seeing my mother didn’t make me want to jump out of my skin.
“I just wish I could do something for her. Besides breakfast. Like, you know, I wish I could somehow help with this whole hearing thing.”
“You can,” she says as we continue down the path.
“How?”
“Well, first of all, no more coming up behind her and speaking. She might not hear you there and you don’t want to startle her.”
I hadn’t thought about that.
“And when you speak to her, look directly at her and speak clearly. Like, don’t exaggerate it. Just speak normally. It will help her understand you as her hearing decreases. It will also help her learn to read your lips.”
“How do you know all of this?”
She smiles. “My mom was born deaf.”
“You never told me that.”
“You didn’t tell me that your mother wasn’t,” she says.
“Oof, point taken.”
It makes her giggle. “You didn’t offend me, Carson. My mom’s deafness was just a normal part of life. I don’t think about it much, if at all.”
Her statement eases some of my worry, because if she adapted to a mother who was deaf, maybe my siblings and I can too.
“Wait. Did you ask them for a ride home or did they offer?” I ask.
“What difference does it make?”
“You asked for their help but were really offering yours.”
Her face lights and she starts waving wildly. I look up and find my mother, waving with one hand and holding her big hat on her head with the other.
She’s working in her flower garden. That’s a good sign.
The two women embrace and I swear to god, I never could have imagined how fucking happy that makes me.
“I hope you haven’t eaten. Well, I do, because I wouldn’t want you to be hungry, but if you haven’t, we brought breakfast,” Luna says.
My mom laughs at Luna’s rambling speech. “No. I haven’t eaten, but yes, I’m starving. My husband’s been sleeping in, and he’s the one who usually makes breakfast.”
“Oh, he can cook too,” Luna says, wagging her eyebrows up and down.
“Ew, no, stop right there.”
The two of them break out into a fit of laughter.
What the fuck is going on?
“I was just picking some flowers for the table with Khloe,” my mom says, picking up her basket.
I look around for my sister, knowing she’s hiding around here somewhere. “Where’s Khloe?”
My mom smiles at me.
“Khloeee,” I holler.
Little giggles come from a patch of sunflowers just off the path.
“Gosh, she must have run off with the fairies,” I say, putting my hands on my hips.
More giggles erupt before she comes barreling toward me. “Boo!” she yells.
I scoop her up in my arms, tossing her into the air before catching her.
“Have you met my new friend?” I ask her.
She shakes her head, tucking her face in my neck as she looks at Luna.
“Her name is Luna. Luna, this is the cutest little sister there ever was. Her name is Khloe.”
“Khloe, what a pretty name. It’s nice to finally meet you. Your brother told me a lot about you.”