30. Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty
Cole
Carson came up and apologized for hitting me.
I apologized for hitting him back.
He said we’d talk more later, but fuck that.
In fact, I think I’ll move to the warehouse permanently. I don’t need to talk about anything.
After the announcement my mom made about Luna offering to teach the club sign language, I headed outside. Everyone else is signing up for “classes.”
Of course Luna knows sign language. Why wouldn’t she? She’s “perfect.”
Okay, I know I need to stop with the air quotes.
I’m being childish.
I always knew Carson would find a nice girl. He deserves it.
Me, not so much.
I’m a scatterbrain, and not nearly as nice as him. Without Carson to balance me out that’s only going to get more noticeable.
So, here I am, hiding in the kids’ playhouse like … you guessed it, a child.
Suddenly the little door opens, and someone ducks inside.
“Oh!” Luna says, turning around to leave. “Sorry, didn’t know this hiding spot was occupied.”
“Wait,” I say, resting my head against the wall. “There’s room for two.”
Her shoulders are tense, but whatever or whoever she’s hiding from is evidently scarier than me.
She settles uncomfortably across from me, making sure her legs don’t touch mine.
“Nice digs,” she jokes.
“I think so.”
We’re both quiet as the party gets amped up outside.
“So, who are you hiding from?” I finally ask.
“My brother.”
I chuckle. “Ah, that might be the first thing we have in common, because I’m hiding from mine.”
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, he isn’t looking for you.”
“Oh really?”
“He’s upstairs playing with Mila.”
I raise my brows. “Shouldn’t you be there with him?”
“I haven’t met her yet.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know.”
“She doesn’t bite, you know? Now that baby brother of hers …”
She laughs, and for whatever stupid reason, some of my irritation fades.
“I don’t know why you think it’s so awful to be a part of her and Rage’s life.”
“I don’t want to remind Chance of …”
“Your father.”
She nods, biting her bottom lip and peeking out the window.
“Or is it that Rage reminds you of your past?” I ask.
“Chance was the part I remember that was good. He was always trying to protect me when we were kids.”
“Did he?”
“He tried, that’s all that matters.”
“Did he get hurt trying?”
She looks at me sharply. Bingo. I hit the nail on the head.
“Well, enough about me. Why are you hiding from Carson? He doesn’t bite either, you know?”
“He absolutely does, and I have the scar to prove it.” I tip my head to the side to show her the mark on my cheek my brother left behind when we were three.
She leans forward. “Yikes.”
“Yeah, yikes.”
“Well, what did you do to him?”
“What did I do?” I ask, pulling my head back. “He bit me.”
“You must have done something.”
“Oh, just like the other night when he punched me first?”
“Well …”
I shake my head.
“Maybe if you weren’t being such a jerk,” she finally says, admitting her true feelings about me.
“Takes one to know one.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “I’m not a jerk.”
“Oh really? Hiding from your brother and sister, who’s a child, I might add, isn’t jerkish?”
Neither of us backs down.
Someone barges into our hiding spot. It’s Charlotte.
She ignores me and drops beside Luna. “I need you to teach me how to sign the word jerk.”
Luna laughs.
“Charlotte,” I warn.
“What? Daddy said I couldn’t call the new kid a jerk. So, I’m going to sign it instead.”
Luna hilariously uses me to show her how to do it.
“You are a jerk,” she says while signing and making an angry face toward me.
Charlotte gives it a try.
“There you go, you got it,” Luna praises.
“Thanks, Luna,” Charlotte says as she darts back outside.
“I can’t believe you taught her that.”
She crosses her arms over her chest, ignoring me.
“Where did you learn how to sign,” I finally ask.
“My mom was deaf.”
Oh. Now I really do feel like a jerk.
“Don’t feel sorry for me, because I don’t feel sorry for you.”
“Well, you should,” I snap back.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t know sign language like you. I’m not going to be able to talk to my mom.”
“Um, hello, I just offered to teach everyone.”
“Fortunately for you, you also got the smart brother. He’ll pick up on it fast, but me …” I shake my head. “I’ll never remember all that shit.” I pretend to sign what she just showed Charlotte, making a complete mess of it.
She doesn’t laugh at me like I thought she would.
“I wouldn’t have even graduated high school if it hadn’t been for Carson reteaching me everything at the end of the day. I’m slow. It takes me longer to grasp things.”
“Maybe I could give you private lessons.”
“I’m sure Carson would love that.”
“He would.”
I want to roll my eyes, but I know that she’s right. He would.
“Fine. If you can teach me one thing, I’ll consider it.”
She instantly scoots closer to me, taking my hands in hers and physically showing me how to do it.
“I love you, Mom,” she says out loud.
We do it several times before I’m confident I have it.
“I love you, Mom,” I say while using ASL.
“See, you did it. You can learn.”
She chatters about lessons and a schedule, but all I can think about is how soon this will be the only way to tell my mom I love her.
Luna pauses when she realizes I’m not listening. “It’s going to be okay, Cole. You’ll see.”
I wish I was as confident as her.
The door opens again, and I think we were both expecting Charlotte, but in climbs another little girl. One much smaller.
“Mila,” I say excitedly, letting her know she’s welcome. She immediately crawls up on my lap and gives me a big hug. “What are you doing in here?”
“I hiding.” She places her finger over my mouth. “Carson is it.”
Mila turns on my lap and stares at Luna.
“I playing hide and seek,” she tells her. “You want to play?”
Luna nods, tears spilling down her cheeks.
“Why you cryin’?” Mila whispers.
I reach around Mila and wipe them away with my hands. “She was crying because she didn’t have anyone to play with but then you showed up. Now Luna will be happy.”
“La Luna is up there,” Mila points to the sky, and more tears spill down her big sister’s face, and I wipe them away.
“She’s named after the moon, how cool is that?”
“So cool,” Mila says, crawling from my lap to Luna’s.
“Rawr,” Carson says, poking his head into the playhouse that is becoming way too fucking crowded. “Found you!”
“You found us!” Mila says, grabbing Luna’s hand and pushing past Carson to get out. “Now it’s our turn to count,” she tells her. “You and Carson hide.” She dismisses us as she drags Luna behind a nearby tree. “One … two …”
Internally I groan. I don’t want to play hide and seek.
But I will.
For Mila, I will.