50. Chapter Fifty
Chapter Fifty
Luna - A Few Weeks Later
My hands shake as I stare at the box on the counter.
I can’t do it.
Maybe I’m just being overly cautious.
I pick up my phone to call Carson, but then I set it down.
I’m just going to do it, then I’ll know.
I pee on the stupid stick. Cap it and then flip it over.
How many minutes?
Okay, no worries.
I take a deep breath, my mind already running through a hundred different scenarios.
But nothing stands out more than my mother’s premonition.
I grab the test and run. I don’t stop until I get over to Dan and Lily’s. No one is home, so I hurry up the stairs and hide in the closet.
What if I am pregnant?
What if she’s deaf like my mom?
I’m not in the closet long before I hear someone come home.
Heavy footsteps make their way up the stairs.
“I know you’re in there. I saw you on the camera. What’s going on, hon?”
“It’s coming true.”
“What’s coming true?”
I can’t say it, because I’m too scared.
So I slide the test under the door.
He takes it, and when he remains quiet, I know it’s positive.
It’s not that I regret not using protection. Carson and I have always been honest about how much we love children. It’s just …
What if the baby is deaf and she never hears my voice … or Carson’s.
The door slowly slides open, and Dan looks at me. He has tears in his eyes and he’s smiling. He holds the test up between us. “Your mom was right again.”
Immediately I burst into tears.
“Oh, honey, it’s going to be okay,” he says, tugging me out of the closet and hugging me.
“It’s not. She’s going to be deaf. I just know it. My mom saw you signing to her in the garden.”
“Hey, look at me.”
I wipe my eyes on the back of my hand.
“Did she tell you that your daughter would be deaf?”
“No.”
“Then maybe I was signing to her because her grandmother is deaf.”
A tiny part of me pauses. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I’ve always assumed it was because my mom was deaf. That my daughter would inherit it. But what he’s saying makes sense. “You really think that’s what it was?”
“We can’t be certain until she’s here, but I think it’s a strong possibility. Besides, even if she is, we’ll get her through it, just like we’re doing with Lily.”
He holds the test strip up. “I’m fucking thrilled about this, Luna, and I know Lily will be too. You might just be giving us our first granddaughter.”
My hand goes to my stomach. Remembering my mom telling me it was her turn to hold the baby. My baby.
I’m sad she won’t be able to hold her here with me, but it is comforting to know she’s been safe with my mom on the other side. If there is such a thing.
“When are you going to tell Carson?” he asks.
My anxiety spikes again.
“Oh my gosh. We all just got settled in at the cabin. Cole and Carver aren’t going to want a crying baby around.”
“How did you come to that conclusion?” he asks.
He’s right. I’m writing the story in my head before it even plays out. I don’t know how they’re going to react. I haven’t seen them much. They’ve been busy with their search for Nyx and Nova.
“Okay. Okay, so I should just relax?”
“I think so.”
“How do I do that?”
He chuckles. “Well, I know what always makes Lily feel better.”
“Retail therapy?”
“You know it.” He pulls me to my feet and then drives me to the baby store in town.
A few hours later, he’s helping me carry a bassinet and a few other things up to our room.
I tried to tell him he was buying too much, but he wouldn’t stop.
“You’ll set up the camera so we can all watch?”
I nod, bouncing on my toes. “I’m so nervous.”
“Nervousness and excitement are the same feeling. Are you sure you’re just not excited?”
Hmm. Maybe I am.
I am excited.
“I’ll keep the other two yahoos over at the house to give you a little privacy.”
“Okay.”
He gives me a big hug. The kind that makes you feel as if everything is going to be okay.
After he leaves, I spend some time going through the baby girl clothes he bought. We’re putting a lot of faith into the words of a dying woman. I hope she’s right, but the saleswoman assured us we could return them if I ended up having a boy.
I set the new baby camera on the dresser and then head downstairs to wait for Carson to come home.
Right on time, he steps through the door. “Man, oh man, am I glad I slipped past Dad. He was waiting for us in the driveway. Cole and Carver weren’t so lucky. They’re over there cleaning his gutters as we speak.” He laughs. “Suck-ahs.”
His laugh is a little evil, and it makes me smile.
He walks over and wraps his arms around my waist as I wipe the counter. “Supper smells good. Is it in the oven?”
“Yeah, it’s meatloaf. It should be done in about forty minutes. I just put it in.”
“Perfect. That gives me time to run up and shower.”
He gives me a kiss on the cheek and then heads upstairs.
I quickly pull my phone out to watch him on the baby cam, knowing that his family is also watching over at the house.
At first, he doesn’t notice, but when he does, he freezes.
For one awful second, I wonder if he regrets not using protection. I guess I can’t blame him. My reaction wasn’t much better.
But then he bites his knuckles and starts jumping up and down like an excited child.
I laugh and cry at the same time, watching as he walks over to the bassinet, placing his hand inside. He grabs the test I left on a pink blanket and looks at it. He tries to compose himself, but each time he does he silently cheers and fist-pumps the air.
It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, and it puts the last of my fears to rest.
Carson will make a great daddy.
I know this because he was taught by the best.
Eventually he walks down the stairs as if nothing happened. I slip my phone into my pocket and pretend to be busy cleaning the kitchen, going over the same spot he watched me clean earlier.
Carson walks over and takes the sponge from my hand. Then he turns me around and looks me in the eye … calm and steady. He cups the side of my face and pulls me against his chest, holding me there.
It’s perfect.
“Are you okay?” he asks when I haven’t broken down crying in his arms.
“I’m better than okay,” I say honestly. Between Dan and him, I know everything is going to be okay. I can trust them like I trust the water to hold me when I swim.
He smiles down at me, finally showing me how excited he is now that he sees I’m good.
“We’re having a baby!” He shakes me lightly in his arms, making me laugh.
“We are.”
“How do you know it’s a girl?”
“Just a guess,” I tell him.
Dan and I discussed it, and I decided not to tell him about my mother’s premonition and what she saw.
There is no need to worry him with fears about a condition I don’t know she will have. I don’t even know if the baby is for sure a girl.
Like Dan said. We already know that Carson will love her regardless.
He drops to his knee and begins to talk to our baby, pressing his mouth against my stomach.
“Oh, little one, you are so smart … you chose the bestest, prettiest, most special mom on the whole planet to bring you into this world.”
I run my fingers through his hair, thinking back to the day I met him. How much has changed since then. Carson has quickly become my best friend, my partner, the father of my child … my soulmate.
“Um, so your dad already knows.”
“That’s okay,” he says, standing. “You freaked out, didn’t you?”
I sigh loudly. No use denying it. “I did, but your dad talked me down off the ledge.”
Carson kisses me. “I’ll be by your side the entire time.”
“I know.”
He jumps up and down again. “We’re having a baby!”
His enthusiasm is infectious. “Oh my god. We’re having a baby!”
He takes my hands in his and we jump together, laughing.
The front door swings open and his family barrels through the door … my family.
“I thought you only told Dad.”
“Well, I might have been recording your little happy dance upstairs on the baby monitor your dad bought us. Everyone was watching.”
Cole immediately rushes to Carson and hugs him, lifting him in the air. “Congratulations, brother!”
I take a step back, tears springing to my eyes.
Carver drops his arm across my shoulders as we watch Carson being surrounded by his family. “So, I hear we’re going to be living with a mini version of the two of you soon.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head. “I never said I had anything against kids.” He squeezes my shoulder. “This is the family you and I chose. Any product of that …” He nods toward them. “Well, I consider that a goddamn cherry on top.”
“Get over here, you two.” Lily and Dan open their arms to let us in the family hug. Khloe wraps her arm around my neck when I step beside them.
Dan’s loud voice carries through the house. “We will always have tough days ahead of us, but today is a reminder of why we keep going. There is nothing more important than this right here.”
Word spreads fast after that and soon, the entire club is outside our door. The lawn is filled with family, friends, and their children. They’re here for the bad, the good, and the in-between. I couldn’t have found a better group to love on my baby.
I step away for a moment to take it all in.
Soon after I close my eyes, I feel Carson lower himself beside me on the ground.
Neither of us speaks.
As soon as I hear the last bird, I open my eyes, finding his still closed.
“I love you, Carson.”
He smiles before looking at me. “Do you remember when we made a wish with the Jinny Joes in Ireland?”
“Of course I remember.”
“I wished …”
I stop him. “You can’t tell me or it won’t come true.”
“It already did.”
“This … you and me … the baby … our family close. I was greedy and I wished for it all.”
He takes my hand and slides a ring on my finger. “This was my grandmother’s ring. Her name was Angela. She would have wanted you to have it.”
I look at it and smile. It’s not a traditional wedding set. There’s a moonstone set in the middle of the sun, and on the matching band are tiny little sapphire moons.
“Grandma and Grandpa used to be hippies,” he tells me, laughing as he twirls it around my finger.
I cover my mouth with one hand. The other trembles as we stare at it together.
“It’s us,” I whisper.
“I told you, the fates have been writing our story since the beginning of time.” He kisses me again, holding my face in his hands. “I love you, Luna. I will always be your sun.”
“And I your moon.”