Chapter Six #3
“The decision was made to cancel the rest of the tour.” The words clawed at my throat. I knew how much all of this meant to her. How hard she worked. How much of herself she gave to her fans.
Harley sat motionless for a few beats, blinking, and then she shrieked, “What?”
“Listen,” I got my hands up, trying to what… even I didn’t know. “It’s for the best. You’re in danger. And the only way to keep you safe is to go to a remote location, max out your security, and limit contact with the outside world.”
“Are you fucking insane?” She blew, just like I knew she would.
Standing up, she threw the journal she had in her hands to the couch. I watched as she fisted her hands by her sides, threw her head up and deep breathed feeling powerless. “You can’t do this to me.”
Her broken whisper cracked something inside my chest.
“I can. And I will,” I reached over, took her hand in both of mine and tugged her back to seating. “I’m here to keep you safe. And that’s what I’ll fucking do, no matter the cost.”
A single tear slipped from her eye. Then another. Then another. The appearance of every new tear that dipped from her eyes felt like one bone was breaking in my body. Their slow glide down her beautiful face was pure agony.
“You just want to control me, like everyone else.” Those words had alarms going off inside my brain. Was there something that happened to Harley in her past? Have I misread this all wrong?
Fuck, the fact that I went along with the labels assessment of an overzealous fan, and didn’t dig more, was a major fuck up on my part.
But, in all fairness, she hadn’t let me in.
“Dynamo,” I called. A surge of relief coursed through me when her large, grey blue eyes lifted to mine, her gaze going softer. There was more grey in them now. A clear sign that she was hurting.
“Please, don’t make me go,” she begged, and I almost slid off that coffee table on the floor to my knees.
It tore me up, but there was no other choice. “I need to keep you safe. Keep you alive. And I’ll do that with my dying breath, Dynamo.”
They came in earnest then. Her tears. Coupled with the silent, body wrecking sobs. She never looked away from my eyes though. For the first time since I met her, Harley Thorne truly let me in, and gave me the privilege of seeing her true self.
I turned and pinned Cassie with a look. “Get out.”
Cassie jolted, looked at Harley and opened her mouth. But when she looked back at me, she snapped them closed, nodded, turned and walked from the room.
I looked back at the woman sitting in front of me.
She folded into herself. Her forehead to her knees, arms around her body.
She was holding herself up so she wouldn’t break apart.
God, seeing her like that cracked something in the left side of my chest. A pain so sharp I hissed in a breath, and rubbed the butt of my palm against the sternum a couple of times to soothe the sting.
Her brown hair was all around her, it was almost like that mane was offering protection of its own from the cruel world, and a shitstorm she found herself in.
Damnit all to hell. Seeing her this way hurt like someone was pouring acid down my windpipe. It hurt more than each and every fucked up situation that happened over the course of my life. Each twitch of her body from that fucking silent sob sent painful shockwave through my own.
“Dynamo,” I croaked.
She didn’t even flinch, didn’t twitch at me calling her.
Slowly, I reached out.
I knew I was crossing every line imaginable by doing this, but in that moment, I just didn’t give a fuck. I needed to touch her, to hold her, to comfort her.
I tried telling myself that it was because I was offering support to my client who was in clear distress because I failed at my job. But with the next breath, I shoved that lie from my mind.
Grasping her forearms, I took a deep breath and tried to steel myself from what holding her would do to me. It didn’t help.
As I gently pulled her to me, she became a blur of motion. Her body hit mine in a blink. She nestled into my lap like she was doing it since the moment she was born. And when she showed her face in my neck, I relaxed.
Not just relaxed. For the first time in my life, I was at peace.
As my arms went around her, and pulled her even more to me, she lifted her tear streaked face, and begged between broken sobs. “Warden, please.”
Fuck, she was killing me. At that moment, I was willing to go to the ends of the Earth to give her what she wanted. But I couldn’t do this.
“I’m sorry, Dynamo.”
“But, I need to do it. I need my life to go on as normal.”
“It’s not forever,” I promised. “Just for a while. Just until we get a lock on what’s going on, and know we can keep you safe.”
Her face crumpled then, a fresh new wave of tears swelled in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I cupped her head, and pulled her face into my neck.
With that single movement I sealed my fate.
She needed a safe space to be herself. In that moment, I knew I would be that for her. I would be anything she needed me to be.
Always.
Even if she never knew it.
Each tear that landed on my skin burned me. Each broken breath she took, stabbed me. But each of her exhales that caressed my skin, claimed me.
Fucking hell, this was more than just a pull I couldn’t let myself feel.
In that moment I knew, there was no walking away from her.
But I had to do it.
Once she was safe and free, I couldn’t stay. I just had to figure out how I was supposed to live without a part of my soul staying behind.