Chapter Eight
Carter
“Are you sure you’re firing on all cylinders? Should I send a case of Monster to give you a kick up?” I snapped at the monitor of my laptop. Laptop that had an image of Chace sitting down in his office.
It wasn’t Chace’s fault, but I was sick of every search, every trace, and every surveillance coming up empty.
The guy was a ghost. And the problem with ghosts was that you couldn’t catch them no matter how hard you tried.
We’ve been cooped up in the cabin for a week.
A week of Harley’s soft spoken words, of her songs, of her scent was driving me insane.
Each day was a pure torture. All I wanted was to come close to her enough to figure out the point where her scent was most potent.
Each day as she ate the food I prepared for her, I had a hard time not taking her mouth just to find out what it would taste like on her skin.
And each night as she walked through the house in nothing but an oversized hoodie, those mile long legs of hers begging me you touch them, to feel her skin, to inch up higher until I got to the heat of her, I had to recite the names of my siblings and grandparents in my head just to have a prayer in hell of fighting a hard on.
Taking a cold shower three times a day has become my norm. I was in serious danger of hypothermia.
Harley Thorne was a dream come to life and she was currently in the next room, and I couldn’t do anything about that. No matter how my palms itched to feel her, or how much my balls ached to bury myself in her.
“Fuck you,” Chace’s voice full of false affront pulled me back from daydreaming and back to hard, cold reality.
“I’ll have you know, I don’t drink that stuff.
I like my heart beating just fine, thank you very much.
Besides, the only energy boost I really need is knowing I’ll go home to Alina at night. ”
I kept my mouth shut, and my tongue tied. I knew any comment I made would just serve to piss Chace off.
Both my brothers, and my sister, were in a happy relationship. The road to that wasn’t easy, but the end result couldn’t be beat.
And naturally, they were all a little too overprotective of their respective partners.
I learned that any comment, teasing or downright just giving them brotherly shit, ended up in a seriously pissed off sibling and retribution.
The one Rory, my little sister had after I hand delivered Jason, her boyfriend, who coincidentally was a quarterback for the Denver Thunders, to her doorstep, after Max, Chase and I took him to a secure place, and kept him fed and watered for three days, until Rory caved and gave us the field access for the final game, was a little too scary even for my taste.
Just thinking about waking up in the middle of the night, while my sweet little sister’s face was hovering over me had my lower back sweating and my pulse skyrocketing.
A face that she painted like she was one of those porcelain dolls.
And she said in a sweet voice, “You kidnap Jason one more time, I’ll hide as many of those dolls in your house, car, gym, favorite diner, I can manage.
You won’t be able to make a step without fearing you’ll find one.
One who has a smile as sweet as this one on my face. ”
I admit, I screamed like a little girl. I hated those things. There was something about them that gave me the creeps. A fact that Rory knew all too well since she was the one saving me from them while we were kids and I kept stumbling upon them at our grandparents house.
And from that moment on, I was scared shitless of Rory.
Just remembering that moment sent shivers down my spine and a hiss to escape my lips.
“What?” Chase clearly saw me shivering because his face was an inch of the camera lens in a second making his nose all I could see. “What did you see?”
“Damn, Chase,” I muttered as I grimaced at the image on my screen. “Nothing, I didn’t see anything.”
“Then, what’s with the shivering?” He sat back in his chair, his eyes trying to find clues on mine.
“I just remembered that late night house call that Rory made six months ago.” I muttered.
“Oh, fuck.” It was Chace’s turn to shiver, now. “Don’t remind me. I still have to send Alina in every room first to check for any rubber snakes that might be hiding in there.”
Damn, our sister really was a vicious one.
“She has all her power because she knows our weaknesses.” I shook my head, unable to force down the proud feeling that stole over me at our sister’s determination.
“Nah, she would never go for the things that matter. Alina is safe with her. So is Sky. And those are our real pressure points.”
“Damn, you mean you finally realized that Jason is hers?” I arched a brow.
Chace gave a sheepish smile, “Well, sure. But that doesn’t mean that he isn’t currently sitting in the storage at Elite waiting for Rory to cave and give us the goods.
I think it’s a basketball player this time.
I just can’t figure out who. And you know Jason, he’s tight-lipped. Taking Rory’s side every damn time.”
Rory worked as a physical therapist to the athletes. When she met Jason she worked with an agency, but since then, or better yet, since her attack she struck out on her own.
She was making a name for herself, and it was glorious to see. But the little demon still refused to give us the goods. Meaning the names and access to the athletes she worked with. We didn’t ask for much, just courtside tickets.
“The little traitor. We’re the best brothers in law anyone ever got. He should be thankful to us.”
“Damn straight,” Chace chuckled, but it was short lived. “I’ll call if there’s an update.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, before nodding. “Thanks, brother.”
Before he had a chance to say anything else, I cut the feed and the call.
Sitting in silence, I tried to steel myself for another assault on everything Harley. I was tired. The sleep was coming harder each night. And when I did manage to get a few hours of shut-eye, my dreams were filled with my roommate.
I don’t know how long I sat in the office I barely used anymore. I just knew if I went out, there was no chance in hell I could resist her pull.
I was playing with fire, and all I could do was hope I wouldn’t get burned.
I lied to Harley.
Well, technically, I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell her the truth.
When she said this cabin looked like a home, I kept my mouth shut, even after hearing her say that it did feel like I managed to climb Mount Everest.
Truth was, this wasn’t just any cabin in the middle of nowhere. This was my cabin.
My home.
When we were little, it was our family’s cabin. Our parents loved bringing us here. They seemed happier here, more at peace. It was like the pressure of their jobs just slipped away.
Once Dad was killed, we stopped coming. I guess the pain of the memories that were between these walls were too much for my mom to take. I could understand that. But, I still miss this place.
So when we all got older, and with our lives, I broached my family and asked them to buy them out.
Even after I failed them so spectacularly, they wouldn’t hear of me paying them. They just gave it to me.
I spent almost a year renovating it, taking it to its former glory, to try and bring back those happier times.
It took bringing Harley here to realize that I was choosing a dream that could no longer be a reality.
Her being in my home brought the whisper of that dream, but the feeling that came when she stepped over the threshold was stronger in potent than any other I felt when I was here before. Even when I made it my home base.
It was as if the house finally settled because the second half had come home.
“Fuck, man, you need to stop with the sentimental shit,” I muttered to myself, running a hand through my hair, and pulling at the roots. “You shouldn’t have brought her here.”
I needed to change our location.
Resisting her pull has become harder with each day she’s been in my space. I didn’t know how long I had the strength to shout out all that was her.
Just then, as if she was mocking me, calling out my weakness, soft strands of music drifted through my closed door.
Like she had a direct pull of my limbs with each plucked string of the guitar, I was powerless to resist her siren’s call.
I stood up, and without thinking, went to the door, and into the hallway.
Slowly, I walked down the hallway until I came to the mouth of the hall.
I stopped there, and hid in the shadows of it, and saw her.
She was sitting on the ottoman in front of the fire crackling in the fireplace. Her back was to me, her long hair all around her. She was singing softly of longing, and want so acute I could taste it on my tongue. Even though I haven’t tasted her, I was positive that I could taste her.
The voice, the words, the vulnerability wasn’t like anything she put on the stage. This was really Harley. Bared and stripped down of all the layers she protected herself with right there in my living room.
I fisted my hands in an attempt to stay put.
I begged my legs to turn around and take me away, into the office where I was safe from doing something reckless.
Something that would ruin this fragile peace I was able to give her.
Something that would bring satisfaction to both of us, over and over, until we were left in an exhausted state.
But even then, my body betrayed me.
I stood still in those shadows watching and listening as Harley Those vowed herself into the fibers of my body, and engraved herself into my soul.
I took a step powerless of doing anything but, not after seeing her like this. The real her. Not after longing for her for the last three weeks as I’ve been with her every moment of every day. Not after finally reaching my limit.
I had to have her. I had to know what she tasted like.
I knew it was dangerous, but with that one step I knew my life was changed. I just didn’t know if that change was for the better or worse.
But there was no second step that came after. She stopped playing, and laughed a laugh that was happy. Carefree. A laugh that rooted me to a place.
Shaking her head, she pushed her hair back with one hand, and tilted her head up. “You’re a damned fool, Harley.”
She sighed, and titled her head back down, her arms once again going around the guitar, “You know better than anyone, those kinds of dreams never come true. Not for you.”
It was like she was speaking to me. Like she was reminding me of a truth I knew all along, but decided to forget.
She was right, no matter my dreams, Harley would always remind me of that.
As she picked the song back up again, I slowly retreated into the shadows. And from there, right to my room, where I slowly closed the door not wanting to disturb her.
Turning, I picked up the piece of paper that was on the dresser by the door.
I only feel safe when you’re the one that’s looking.
Her lyrics taunted me.
No matter how I felt, those words weren’t for me.
And if I kept that up, I was in danger of becoming the stalker myself.
“Get a grip, Ryan,” I snapped at myself, and threw the paper face down on the dresser, and went in search of the cold shower number four of that day.
Afterwards, I walked through the house to lock everything down.
Harley was nowhere to be seen.
I lightly tapped on her door, but there was no answer. She was already asleep.
I knew she hadn’t slipped out since there were cameras and motion detectors everywhere.
I went back to my bedroom and tried to get some sleep.
But as I tossed and turned, it became more elusive.
The whole night Harley’s song consumed me. And, fuck me, but I let it.
I let it because I knew, no matter how much I wanted it, I would never have the real deal.
I would never have Harley.
And that killed.