Chapter 4 #3
Sera’s comment lands like a bomb. It lands with a bang, then leaves nothing in its wake.
No one says anything. Everyone—everyone—focuses on me.
It’s not like Carmine, Sera, Alejandro, and Toria don’t know Joaquin and I spent the entire party talking and then left together.
It’s not like any of them don’t know we spent the night together.
“I did. Everything about the night was lovely. Beautiful reception site, terrific food, fun music, good company.”
I’m rambling, digging myself deeper into the trench Sera’s comment left. Why the fuck can’t someone else do the talking? Why the fuck can’t Joaquin speak up? He’s letting me drown. He could throw me a fucking life preserver, but instead, I’m going to preserve my dignity alone.
“Alejandro, your parents looked so proud. They make a beautiful couple, especially on the dance floor.”
Alejandro’s gaze darts to Joaquin, and I practically choke on those feet in my mouth.
Of course, I would pick the most insensitive thing to say at the most inopportune moment.
Joaquin’s mother was alone. She didn’t have her husband to dance with her because he’s been dead for nearly twenty-five years.
Fuck my life.
Even Carmine looks uncomfortable, and the man would normally skip with glee to know his enemy felt even remotely shitty.
“Thank you. They’re very happy to finally have a daughter who won’t put up with any nonsense from me. At least, that’s the politest way I’ve heard my mother put it.”
People chuckle, and it lightens the mood.
I focus on my food and pray Sera and Toria will stop trying to play matchmakers because I’m ruining the night with one blunder after another.
The conversation moves on, flowing smoothly once I shut up.
Joaquin speaks when spoken to, and he’s funny and charming when he does.
But he volunteers very little. He steadfastly ignores me. I don’t know how to feel.
Rejected.
Hurt.
Relieved.
I just want dinner to end so we can all go home.
Toria, Sera, and I do the dishes after the men clear the table.
I shoot them both a warning look when they open their mouths.
We’re alone in the kitchen, but I don’t want to risk saying something else that’ll just widen the divide between Joaquin and me.
It’s just as well because we have one eye on the men who sit in the living room, staring at each other.
They keep their hands where they can see each other’s.
With three of us working together, the dishwasher is loaded and coffee brewed in five minutes.
Neither Toria nor I wanted to leave Sera to clean up everything since Carmine cooked and she’d already baked dessert.
I know they wanted to talk to me, but I shut that down.
With no reason to linger, we hurry to get back to the men.
It means we walk into the room as Carmine taunts Joaquin, making me want to cringe.
“…couldn’t even find your balls tonight.”
“At least, I still own mine.”
“What shade of blue are yours these days?”
Joaquin opens his mouth, but the men notice us. He glowers at Carmine, but he remains silent. I’m certain he would’ve said something profane, but the men wouldn’t do that in front of the women. Joaquin won’t do it in front of me since it’s obvious Carmine insinuated I was the cause.
“Sera and Carmine, thank you so much for dinner. Sera, you know I have an early morning since I need to be in Atlantic City before nine. I’m going to take off.”
I hope I sound as gracious as I intend and not like I’m running away like a little bitch—which I am.
“It’s getting late. Jandro and I are still jet-lagged. We’re going to take off too.”
I watch Toria shoot Alejandro a look, and he stands. That signals Joaquin to do the same. It brings us eye to eye since I’m standing closest to the armchair he was in. I offer him a smile, and he stares right through me. Everyone ignores the tray Sera’s holding with coffee and biscotti.
Yeah, definitely rejected and hurt. Not an ounce of relief.
“It was nice seeing you again, Tre.”
The simple sentence shocks me. It’s the most Joaquin’s said to me all night, and it doesn’t match the vacant stare he’s giving me.
“You too.”
Do I shake his hand? He definitely doesn’t look like he wants even an air hug. I turn to Sera and Toria, giving them hugs before giving Carmine and Alejandro ones. Not at all awkward that I hugged everyone but Joaquin. Now it looks like I snubbed him.
Fuck my ever-loving fucking life.
I can’t get shit right with him. How the fuck did we talk for hours when we can barely get ten words out between the two of us without me somehow fucking it up?
Joaquin gestures for me to go ahead of him after Toria and Alejandro step outside.
I know Joaquin will walk with them to the newlyweds’ house.
One of Carmine’s men will drive me home since I rode here with Sera.
A black sedan pulls forward as I step off the stoop, so I step back and behind Joaquin to walk to the car.
He turns toward me, his hand unexpectedly brushing my forearm.
“It really was nice seeing you, Tre.”
I stare at the gorgeous man as he walks away with his family. He didn’t have to say that. Not twice at least. If he wasn’t a professional liar, I might have believed him. After the way he ignored me all night, he couldn’t mean it.