Chapter 20 #2
“I get that, chica. You don’t have to explain.”
“I know you’ll keep most of your life from me, but?—”
“Wait, Tre.”
He stops us and steps in front of me, placing his hands on my waist. His expression is even more earnest than usual. His fingers press into my back, and I take a step forward.
“I won’t keep most of my life from you. I’ll give all of it that I can.
Most days are far more normal than you’d expect.
I oversee the construction company. I own three software development companies and a computer parts factory.
I’m not a hands-off owner. I’m actively involved in the design process for both parts of the tech industry.
I’m the IT manager for everything. All my family’s businesses’ IT goes through me.
I have an undergrad degree in computer science from MIT and a graduate degree in computational engineering from Harvard.
I could discuss motherboards and nanochips until the cows come home.
I happily nerd out most days. I’d bore you.
I’m certain you know what people in my role do just from rumors or things overheard.
Yes, I do that some days of the week. And yes, I’m involved in international trade, but it’s not all day, every day.
You will have every part of me that prioritizes family before any and everything else.
You will have the part of me that will only ever want you.
The part of me that wants to raise our family together. ”
That’s a lot to take in. The last part that is. I get the work stuff, even the Cartel part. It’s his unwavering promises—because that’s what they are—that are compelling. Not a part of me believes he’s exaggerating either. They could be wedding vows.
Maybe one day they will be.
I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but as our eyes remain locked on each other, I can imagine it. Na?ve and idealistic me once imagined that it would’ve been cool if Steven and I got married. I didn’t believe we would since we were high school sweethearts, but I thought it would’ve been nice.
Those were the thoughts of a young girl who believed she could picture the world but really knew so very little.
Now, I’m in my thirties, and I’ve seen far more.
My feelings for Joaquin grow by the hour.
They’re rough and raw compared to the smooth and shiny feelings of my youth.
I prefer these grittier emotions because they’ll last. There’s no veneer to wear off that reveals something thin and weak.
The hard parts are showing up from the beginning, and I get what I’m in for.
And I’m here for it.
“Chica?”
“Just lost in my thoughts.”
“Oh?”
“In this light, your hazel eyes are more like pools of milk chocolate. Warm and smooth, and just the right amount of sweet.”
He chuckles at my description, but I mean it. I enjoy looking into them. It’s comforting.
“Yours are the green that grass becomes after the rain. Vibrant and vivid. Inviting and welcoming. I love looking into them, chiquita.”
I hope we always feel this way when we look at each other. Whether we work out as a couple or not, we’ll have a lifetime of being involved now that we’ll share a child.
“I know pregnancy limits what I can do now. I won’t ask to be part of however this plays out because I know whatever happens would endanger our baby. But what do you think will happen? How much danger will you be in?”
He pulls me against him for a tight hug. He cradles my head against his shoulder. I close my eyes as I feel the warmth seep through his shirt and into my cheek.
“I don’t know, little one. I don’t believe it’ll be any more than usual, but I know that’s not reassuring.”
“Do you know anything that might explain why Francesco put me in this position? He wants to know more about the Mancinellis, and Uncle Tommaso wants to know where you stand with the factions in Italy. Why would either of them think I could learn anything about that?”
“Because you’re keenly observant while unobtrusive.
Both men know none of us would reveal anything to you.
We wouldn’t let you overhear anything, and we wouldn’t slip up and share a secret.
But they believe you can deduce far more than anyone would expect just by putting together pieces of the things you see and hear.
Maybe they think Sera or Toria would let something slip, and you’d figure something out from that. ”
“They cannot believe two women raised in the Mala del Brenta would let something slip.”
“Maybe they do because you’re Boston Cosa Nostra. That they’d feel comfortable sharing things they wouldn’t with anyone outside this world.”
We fall quiet as we both consider what Joaquin said and its implications.
It’s difficult to fathom that any of those men would think Toria, Sera, and I would gossip.
We belong to different families. Even though Toria and I are involved with men from the same family, she’s a wife, and I’m a new girlfriend.
And on top of all that, we know better. We were trained not to discuss these things.
None of this has ever added up, and it’s why I’ve had next to nothing to report to my dad or uncle. I warned them this was an exercise in futility.
“But why target me or risk me being collateral damage?”
“How long ago did Francesco make the request? You said six months ago. Could he have asked something of Tommaso before that, and your uncle didn’t do it?”
“That’s always possible.”
“You’ve been in New York for four months.”
“It took time to break my lease here. I didn’t want to use my family name or ask anyone in my family to do it.
I didn’t want to use intimidation—though I would’ve.
I needed a plausible reason too—boredom and my dad being overprotective.
I knew Sera would offer me a job if I didn’t find anything right away.
I looked, but it was an obvious blessing in disguise.
Not because it made it possible for me to spy on Sera but to give the illusion that I would. ”
We return to walking, taking a look around the ward. We enjoy companionable silence. It’s nice to stretch my legs and be out of the room. We’ve given the guys more than five minutes. I’m curious to know what they may have learned.