Vex
“Fucking finally.” Ophelia tosses an oil rag down when she sees me standing at the door. She was in fact working on Callie’s car. “Where the hell have you been?”
Well I was in Callie’s bed until dawn when I dragged my ass home and passed out until dusk.
This whole vampire thing is taking some time to get used to. Like in the beginning when I didn’t remember dying. Or the whole month after, until suddenly there was her. As though she woke me up from death.
I really wanted to stay with Callie last night, but I promised Soren I wouldn’t touch her again until Lazarus knew he could trust me. Not that I could ever completely drain Callie accidentally.
But it could take her days to recover and that continues to stop me.
“Busy.”
“What with your new boys.” Her hands ball into fists she rests on her hips. Anger rolls off of her in waves.
“Aww, Ophie, you miss me.”
“I don’t miss you, you fucking dumbass. I’m worried,” she spits out, surprising me.
“You disappear for a month, show back up with a fucking car you need me to fix, then can’t seem to possibly stick around for the month after that.
No, Vex, you are really starting to act like Dot and it’s pissing me off. ”
Oh. Oh.
“Shit Ophelia, I’m…” Sorry feels like just a too small word. “I’m not…” I forgot to ever tell her I was on vacation. My not vacation. Death vacation?
I thought Lazarus took care of it. Soren even. But no one told my sister where I was?
She presses her tongue to her cheek and nods even though her face goes all twisty and she has to blink the tears from her green eyes. My sister crying makes me feel like shit. Absolute shit.
And I wish I could just tell her everything. But Lazarus has me on a tight leash.
It looks like I’m out and about, but Soren is literally in the car waiting for me.
I’m never really alone.
Yet I had to see her. She’s all I’ve been able to think about since telling Callie about her.
And now there she is standing in her ripped jeans, an oversized T-shirt and her hair in pigtails.
There’s even a grease smudge across her cheek.
And she’s crying because I’m a fucked-up brother who disappeared on her.
I don’t overthink it, I wrap her up in my arms and hug her close. Her small body melts into mine and her sniffle nearly breaks me in half.
“I fucked up.”
“You fucked up.” She sniffles into my shirt. “Where the fuck have you been.” She steps back wiping away her tears. “And it’s nearly eight in the evening. Vex, I need to know right now if you’re—”
“Using?” I shake my head. “No.”
“I need you to prove it.”
“You can’t be serious, Ophie.” I should have known she’d make me take a drug test.
After Dot, we kept Narcan and drug tests on hand. Well we never really stopped. Not that we ever had to use them. Pearl made sure we have supplies everywhere. Car, shop, home, purse, everywhere.
And right now my sister is looking at me like I’ve broken her.
“Yeah okay.”
“Thank you.” Her shoulders drop as she turns around and grabs the red bin under the desk. She rifles through it pulling out a kit and tosses it to me.
“Right now?” I look at the door, knowing Soren is out there.
“Right here, right now,” Ophelia says, crossing her arms. “Unless you have something to hide.”
I glance back at the door again. Soren’s out there, probably listening to every word. I can’t imagine Lazarus would be thrilled about me taking a drug test. Not because I’d fail, but because it’s another human connection he wants me to sever.
“Fine.” I grab the kit and head to the bathroom in the back of the shop. My hands shake as I open it. I haven’t done this in years, not since Dot left this world.
The bathroom smells like industrial cleaner and motor oil. I lock the door behind me, leaning against it with a sigh. The fluorescent light flickers overhead as I read the instructions, though I know them by heart.
It’s not the fact I’m doing this that’s getting under my skin. It’s the fact that something made Ophelia think I was using again. That’s why I take the test because she’s the only person in this entire fucked-up world that’s kept me here long after I wanted to leave.
A minute later, I’m washing my hands when Ophelia knocks.
“Vex? You okay in there?”
“Just peeing, Ophie. Jesus.” I try to keep my voice light, but my chest feels tight.
When I emerge, she’s waiting with her arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently.
“Well?” she asks.
“Give it a minute.” I hold up the test strip. “You know how this works.”
She snatches it from my hand, examining it carefully. The relief on her face when the double lines appear is almost worth the indignity.
“See? Clean as a whistle.”
“Where were you then?” She sits on the edge of her desk, the fight draining out of her. “You just vanished, Vex. No calls, no texts.”
“I know.”
“Ever since that night that Dot’s old friends came by—”
“What?” I cut her off. “What did you just say?”
“You don’t remember?”
I sort through my memories. Trying to go back to the moment she’s saying happened and it’s just… gone.
That night, that’s the night I died.
I crash onto my rolling desk chair. “Oh no.”
“Vex, you are scaring the shit out of me.”
“I know, I know. I just,” oh shit. “I need to think. I need to think.”
What happened that night?
I remember the before. Before I woke up as a vampire. I remember working. I remember hitting my head on a hood when I heard, “Motorcycles.”
“Why don’t you remember, Vex.” Ophelia’s question turns more insistent. More pressing.
But I didn’t know it was Dot’s friends. And that’s all I fucking remember.
“Vex!” Soren’s voice echoes through the shop.
“One of your boys?” Ophelia asks. “Didn’t know you swung that way but I’m not judging. Just would have appreciated a little bit of a heads up is all.”
“No, I’m not gay,” I say, but the way Soren’s voice carries through the shop makes my stomach clench. “He’s... a friend. Sort of.”
Ophelia raises an eyebrow, the grease smudge on her cheek catching the fluorescent light. “Sort of?”
“Soren is,” I should have just gone with gay. “Yeah, sort of.”
But then he’s there wearing his suit from today. Looking like he belongs in a magazine instead of a shop.
“You might get grease on your fancy pants,” I mumble hoping he does mess them up at least a little.
“Oh these pants?” He smiles tossing a blueberry in his mouth. At least he’s recovered from yesterday. “They’ll survive.”
The reveal that Lazarus changed me because I look like his little brother is still sitting weird with me. But I guess we all have sibling issues.
“I’m Soren,” he says to Ophelia who is just studying him. She used to do that to my past girlfriends until she scared them all away with that look.
“Ophelia,” she deadpans. Probably already hating him. “You his lover?”
“Yes.” He pops a blueberry in his mouth again.
Ophelia gives me a dirty look and I can practically hear her thoughts. See, you lied, you big liar.
“He doing drugs?” She hooks a thumb in his direction.
“Now why would you think that?” he says around a handful of blueberries and that smile that never goes away.
I’m going to shove the whole bag of blueberries down his damn throat.
Ophelia hops off the table and walks toward Soren slowly. It isn’t until she’s nearly in front of him that I see the flash of silver in her hand.
“Ophie!” Somehow, I’m there beside Soren. My speed moving too fast. Fuck I was too fast.
She’s gonna know.
Soren holds up his hand, watching her carefully as she presses a knife to his throat. “What did you do to my little brother.”
Soren doesn’t even flinch as the blade presses against his throat. A bead of blood forms where the edge meets his skin, and I watch it slide down his neck like a crimson tear.
“We saved his life,” Soren says calmly, his eyes never leaving Ophelia’s.
Ophelia’s eyes narrow. “You expect me to believe that? Vex has been acting strange for weeks. He went and disappeared on me and now, and now he moves too fast.” Her voice breaks slightly. “He smells all wrong.”
My heart drops. She’s noticed. Of course she’s noticed. My sister who can rebuild an engine blindfolded, who can diagnose car problems by sound alone, she noticed the changes in me.
“Put the knife down, Ophie,” I say softly.
“Not until he tells me what’s going on.” The blade presses deeper. A single drop of blood slides down Soren’s neck, looking almost black under the fluorescent lights. “Because I can feel it, something isn’t right. You aren’t right.”
“Vex got into a fight with bikers,” Soren says not looking at me but Ophelia.
I only just found that out, and I lived it. But my memories are gone. Or hidden somewhere I can’t reach them. Yet. But they’re there, swirling and simmering at the back of my head, daring me to take a peek.
Maybe I’m just not ready to look yet.
“You left,” Ophelia says to me, but her gaze never leaves Soren’s. “Took the bike and drew them away from here.” Finally she looks at me, “away from me. Then you disappeared for a fucking month.”
“We were keeping him alive.” Soren finally grabs the knife and slowly presses it away from his face.
Ophelia sobs and I catch her just as the knife slips from her fingers. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t remember.” Together we fall to the floor. Just the two of us, with Soren watching. Making sure I don’t lose control.
He keeps forgetting I grew up with four sisters.
I built that control the first time Valentina and Dot nearly killed each other because Dot stole her favorite cream sweater.
I built that control year after year when I had to meet their boyfriends.
Brick by brick my sisters made me the man I am today.
I owe them my universe almost as much as I owe Lazarus and Soren my life.
And I can’t give them up.
It’s that realization that rushes through me. I can’t give up my old world just to live in the new.
I won’t give them up.
“Are you expecting anyone?” Soren asks suddenly. He’s no longer leaning against the wall, but his head is tilted to the side.