24. Lazarus
Lazarus
Sleep isn’t a priority I’ve had in a long, long time.
It’s always been that part of me I’ve had to do just to restore my body and my mind. And often during the day. Not at night.
And with Vex having Callie moaning for a god that doesn’t even know her name, I give up on sleep entirely.
I haven’t been able to think. To do much of anything since…
Since her little translation bomb.
And I know I fucked that up. I do. I walked away because her translation changes every perspective I’ve ever had, and I don’t know how to rectify that.
How to admit I was wrong. It’s my translation. Mine.
I gave it to her thinking it would speed things up and even though the moans and groans from the other room prove it, I still don’t know how to admit I was wrong.
The translation. My translation.
I spent three years on that text, cross-referencing every known dialect of the ancient language, consulting with scholars who’ve dedicated their lives to understanding the nuances. And now she’s proven me wrong with one simple alternative reading.
I even had to call my mother. My. Mother.
And I hate calling Lilith.
And it isn’t like I can just get up and go to work to hide. It’s Saturday. I have an entire weekend to think and overthink some more. And worse? I can’t decide if I want Callie to stay or leave even though everything inside of me screams to leave.
Coffee. I can make coffee. I haven’t much need for it, but I crave the smell like humans crave the addiction to the caffeine.
I run a hand down my face and step toward the window where heavy blinds block the bright sun. I wish I understood why it drains vampires. Maybe I’ll have Callie look into it.
“Stupid.” I thump my head on the window before giving up and leaving my bedroom, and heading downstairs where it is thankfully quiet.
I pass the entertainment room peeking in to see Callie wrapped around Soren, and Vex nowhere. He’s been passing out in the room I have set up for him in the basement. After learning about Soren’s wife, and the bikers he’s willingly been locking himself there during the day.
He has more control than any made vampire I’ve ever met. Control only living vampires hold. Because they’re born with it. Another notch in the weirdness that is Vex.
His transition was shorter than any other made vampire. Including Soren who was out for months. Incoherent. Blood driven. He had no control. I had to keep him away from humans for months.
Not Vex.
I’ve given him freer rein than any other made vampire. Even though I’ve only changed him and Soren.
The kitchen is much the same. Quiet, darkened by the blinds.
The coffee pot is just beeping finished when Soren stumbles into the kitchen heading straight for the blood supply cabinet. Hidden above the refrigerator in the cabinets most people never use. Wearing nothing more than last night’s boxers he smells like sex and her.
“Morning.” He pulls out a bag of O and then another wiggling it before me.
“Yeah,” I say catching the bag as he tosses it.
“Vex will need to hunt,” he whispers.
Adrenaline spikes. I’d have known if he lost control at all last night and even though I buried my head under a pillow I didn’t feel that loss not once.
“How did he do?” I whisper opening the pouch like a Capri Sun.
“Well, oddly well.” He hops on the counter to sit and sip his blood bag. “Eyes glowed once. He remained behind her most of the night. Sprung fangs the entire night.”
I jerk my head at that. “Did she see?”
“Not once.” He looks at his bag of blood oddly moving it over in his hand before he glances at me. “It’s weird knowing that this could be the end of these if she, if she…” He can’t even bring himself to say it.
“Says yes,” I finish for him.
“We could drink from her as we…” He clears his throat.
“Fuck,” I finish again.
“Yes,” he scoffs. “About Vex.”
“I’ll take him hunting.” I begin to pour a cup of coffee. “He won’t like it.”
“He has to learn,” he says softly. “We all did.”
“I could take him to House Dagon,” I offer. The mansion my parents live in, upstate tucked away from prying eyes where my parents have willing blood donors.
But it is a rite of passage. To learn to hunt as a vampire. He needs to understand that he cannot drink the blood of the unwilling.
It will kill him.
“Don’t do that,” Soren replies after a moment. “Your mother seeing him, have you thought of how she will handle that?”
“No.” In fact I don’t want to think about it. “Any news on the bikers from Asmodeus?”
“Also no.” He finishes one bag and reaches for a second. Last night must have also tested his willpower. Fucking and feeding go hand in hand for a vampire. Not doing both while fucking holds strength most fledglings don’t have.
Except Vex.
I’m almost completely convinced he is the reincarnation of my little brother. A thing I’ve never believed in. Until I saw him there, dying on that concrete floor.
“They’re a problem I’d rather not have, Soren.” I sip my coffee putting too much pressure on him. It isn’t his fault that they killed Vex.
“Agreed.” He rips open a new bag. “But I can’t just kill them.”
“No,” I grumble. “Vampire politics won’t allow it. However, they did kill Vex first.”
“When he was human.” He points out the flaw in my thinking. “They’ll have to strike first.”
And that is what worries me.
“Coffee.” Callie stumbles into the kitchen wrapped up in a blanket and nothing else.
She doesn’t even notice Soren tossing packs of blood across the room.
She’s focused on only the coffee she’s pouring from the pot.
One day that coffee fog will lift at precisely the wrong moment, and this entire masquerade will end over a bag of O positive.
“Morning, beautiful.” Soren kisses the side of her head.
It’s so casual. Simple the way he interacts with her. As though they’d been dancing like this for years. And I can’t fight the way it makes me jealous in the worst of ways.
I want to sweep her in my arms the morning after. Make her breakfast. Coffee.
Her eyes look up over the rim of her cup, eyes that roll down my bare torso. Eyes that hold lust and interest. Does she want that too?
“Breakfast?” she says around a yawn.
“Gym?” I counter. I don’t know why I say it. I don’t know why it’s what comes out but it’s there and I can’t take it back and I don’t want to.
“On an empty stomach?” She raises a brow in challenge. She doesn’t dismiss my offer. Doesn’t dismiss me.
“Shake before and meal after.” My heart stumbles over itself. Soren feels it and tries to hide behind a smirk.
Callie takes another sip of her coffee, her eyes never leaving mine. “I need to shower first.”
“You’ll only get sweaty all over again.” The words leave my mouth before I can stop them, sounding almost desperate. Soren snorts into his coffee cup.
“I’ll need something to wear.” Is she challenging me?
I can’t believe she didn’t shut me down outright. She was up all night with Soren and Vex and she didn’t even blink about the gym first thing this morning.
Worst part? After she said yes to the gym last time, I may have purchased gym clothing for her and put it in a spare room I’ve been hoping would be hers.
“Upstairs, third door on your left.” I do not look at Soren. I can feel his amusement. “The closet.”
She tilts her head, studying me. “You’re not going to change your mind?”
“Wouldn’t dare.” My voice drops lower than intended.
When she disappears upstairs, Soren turns to me with an incredulous look. “Gym? Really? That’s your play?”
“It wasn’t a play.” I drain my coffee, wishing it were something stronger. Like the blood of a man who drank a pint of whiskey. “I just... want time with her.”
“Time to apologize for walking out on her?” He hops off the counter, stretching like the cat he is. “For dismissing her translation work that’s clearly superior to yours?”
I scowl at him. “When did you become her champion?”
“Since you stopped being one.” He claps me on the shoulder. “Don’t screw this up again. She’s special.”
I know that. I’ve known that since the moment she walked into my office. But admitting she’s right means admitting I’ve been wrong for years.
“Oh and Laz.” He pauses at the door. “I know what you did to that room you just sent her to, and by the time she comes down she will know too. May want to think about what you are going to say to her.”
Joke’s on him. I did think about it and I have no idea what to say to her. I had hope. This burning hope that I couldn’t squash even if I tried.
By the time Callie returns, hair pulled back, dressed in athletic clothes that hug her curves in all the right places, I’ve already changed and prepared protein shakes. Her eyes widen at the sight of me in my gym clothes.
She thinks I don’t notice the way her eyes continue to drift down my body. But I see. It’s why I wore the white basketball shorts.
“Ready?” I hand her a shake.
She takes it, our fingers brushing. “You’re actually serious about this.”
“I’m serious.” I lead her to a door off the kitchen. To my little pet project.
“We aren’t leaving?” She frowns.
“No need.” I flip the lights on.
The basement gym stretches before us, complete with professional-grade equipment that cost me a small fortune. Callie’s eyes widen as she takes in the full setup. Treadmills, weight machines, free weights, and even a small boxing area in the corner.
“You have a private gym,” she states flatly, but I catch the hint of impressed in her voice. “So when you invited me to work out with you, which don’t think I forgot you said it was a date, you actually meant here.”
“It is a possibility.” I head for the mat to stretch.
“Okay,” she draws out looking around. “Mostly mats. Do you three wrestle down here?”
“Yes.” Because what else can I tell her? That we practice fighting off other vampires. That we keep our skills honed because the threat of a vampire war is never off the table.
I can’t tell her anything, not until she…
She falls first.
She heads right for the treadmill choosing a slow walk.