Chapter 16 #2
It took me half an hour before I worked up the nerve to make the call.
“Cash?” Mr. Conrad sounded half-asleep, and I felt a jolt of guilt as I paced back and forth in the kitchen. It was barely light outside. “Are you okay, son?”
I nodded out of habit, then forced out the word. “Yes.”
“What—what are you doing calling me at this hour?” He groaned, and I pictured him swinging his legs over the side of his bed as he sat up. He sounded like a set of bellows when he either sat up or sat down.
My throat clicked as I swallowed and tried to get my words in order. “It’s Mason,” I said. “He’s—he’s not okay.”
Mr. Conrad’s voice was gentle as he said, “Not okay how, Cash?”
The silence stretched out, and I gave a frustrated huff. “He’s—there was a cow,” I said.
“Okay. I’m guessing whatever it is, it’s a lot, huh? Or you wouldn’t be making phone calls.”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
Mr. Conrad sounded more awake now, and I closed my eyes and pictured his face as I struggled to breathe through the panic that was threatening to overwhelm me. My fingers twitched, searching for some Lego pieces I didn’t have.
“First things first. Is Mason hurt?” Mr. Conrad asked.
“No.”
“Okay, that’s good. You’re doing fine, Cash,” he said and I found I could breathe again.
And now those first words were out, it was like I’d pulled the stopper out of a bottle, and the rest of them flowed, if not easily, at least steadily enough that I managed to tell Mr. Conrad what was worrying me.
“He’s not okay, though,” I said. “He was talking about how it wouldn’t be so bad if he crashed his car and made all his problems go away, and I’m so scared for him.” My voice cracked and gave way, and I blinked against the sudden dampness. “It’s like he gave up.”
Mr. Conrad sucked in a sharp breath. “Where is Mason right now?”
“Asleep,” I said.
“Okay, good. That’s good,” Mr. Conrad said. “And where are you?”
“At the vet’s in Goose Run.”
“All right. Here’s what I want you to do. Text me the address and then go and check on Mason. I’m on my way over. And Cash? You were right to call me.”
“Okay,” I whispered, my hands shaking.
My feelings were a tangled mess. Was I making a big deal out of what Mason had said?
Maybe, but my gut was screaming at me not to ignore this, and I remembered what it was like to fall asleep hoping tomorrow wouldn’t come.
So yeah, I might be making a big deal out of nothing, but it was still a thousand times better than ignoring the giant red flag Mason had waved without even knowing it.
Would Mason be okay with me telling Mr. Conrad?
That was a selfish thought, and I didn’t like it.
What mattered was getting Mason help, not whether or not he was unhappy with me after.
Would Mason be okay? Not knowing the answer to that scared me.
But I’d done all I knew how to do. I just had to hope it was enough.
I texted Mr. Conrad the address, then went back upstairs and checked on Mason.
He was still asleep and unlike when he was awake, his expression was peaceful, making me realize how stressed he’d been looking lately.
Dog was lying across his shins, and he raised his head for a moment when I opened the door, then put his head on his paws and went back to ignoring me.
I pulled the curtain aside and peered down the street, but there was no sign of Mr. Conrad yet. Behind me, Mason stirred.
I turned to find him propped up on one elbow, watching me in the dim morning light that filtered through the gap in the curtains.
He blinked at me but didn’t say anything, just ran a hand through his messy hair.
I wasn’t surprised or offended when he lay back down and pulled the blankets back up over himself until only the top of his head was visible.
If it had been me that someone was threatening to sue, I would have been buried so deep under the blankets that you would’ve needed a GPS to find me.
When a car pulled into the driveway, I hurried downstairs. There was a knock on the front door moments later, and I opened it to find Mr. Conrad standing there with a familiar plastic box tucked under his arm. “Hey, son. You doing okay?”
I seesawed my hand. So-so. I stepped aside to let him in and led him through to the kitchen. Mr. Conrad set his box of Lego down on the table, and I nodded at it. “I don’t think Mason needs Lego.”
“I know,” Mr. Conrad said. “It’s for you. Mason and I might be a while, and I figured you’d be a little twitchy. This might help.”
I let out a shaky breath. While I’d been worrying about Mason, I’d been ignoring how shaken I was, but my fingers itched with the urge to bury myself in the soothing, familiar routine of assembling plastic blocks. “Yeah.”
“So why don’t you go and check on Mason and see if he wants to talk?” Mr. Conrad said. “I’ll wait here.”
“What—” I stopped and took a breath and forced out the words. “What if he doesn’t want to?”
Mr. Conrad gave me a sympathetic look. “Why don’t you go and ask him before you start borrowing trouble, hmm?”
I nodded and hurried up the stairs.
When I got to the bedroom, Mason was sitting in bed with his knees pulled up against his chest and his arms wrapped around them, hugging himself.
The haunted look he’d been wearing earlier was back.
When he saw me, his eyes widened slightly, like he’d maybe forgotten I was here.
I sat on the bed next to him and reached out and put a hand on his forearm, rubbing it up and down in a soothing motion.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey.”
I took a couple of deep breaths, nice and slow to calm myself down, and said, “Don’t be mad, but you scared me before, talking about how falling asleep at the wheel wouldn’t be so bad. So I called my friend Mr. Conrad and he’s downstairs.”
Mason’s brow creased. “Isn’t he your Lego buddy?”
“Yeah, but he used to be a psychologist. He’s helped me a lot. And I thought maybe if you talked to him, he could help you too.”
I braced myself instinctively in case he started yelling at me, but Mason didn’t get angry. He just stared for a really, really long time. And then he blinked rapidly, and his voice shook when he said, “Yeah. I think that maybe I need help, Cash.”
The hard knot of fear that had been sitting in my gut loosened, overtaken by a wave of relief at Mason agreeing to talk to someone.
Chase always accused me of being an optimist like it was a bad thing, but that was just because he was afraid.
I was afraid too, but I dealt with it by hoping for the best. Like, I wasn’t stupid.
I knew a conversation wasn’t going to magically fix everything going on in Mason’s life.
But it was a step in the right direction, and the fact that he was willing to take that step gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe, with the right help, Mason could climb his way out of the dark hole he’d fallen into.
I was sitting at the kitchen table sorting the Lego into piles by color and trying to figure out if Mason and Mr. Conrad talking for so long was a good or a bad thing when I heard the front door open. Kayla appeared in the kitchen a minute later, stopping short when she saw the piles of Lego.
“Hey, Cash.” She looked around the kitchen before asking, “Where’s Mason?”
I cleared my throat. “He had a callout. A calving. It, uh.” I swallowed, remembering the coppery smell of blood and Mason’s haunted expression. “It didn’t go well.”
“Fuck.” She dropped into the chair opposite me, worry creasing her brow. “How is he?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer. Having a meltdown didn’t feel like the kind of thing I should share, but I pressed a couple of Lego together and pulled them apart again while I found my voice. “The calf died, and the guy threatened to sue him. It’s bad. He’s… a mess.”
She tilted her head and looked at me curiously. “So why are you down here playing with Lego and not upstairs with him?”
I wished there was a way I could explain about how scared Mason had made me, and about Mr. Conrad and how he’d helped me, but that was too many words for right now.
Kayla must have seen something of my struggle in my face because her expression softened and she said, “Just tell me what you can, honey.”
I focused on the Lego pieces in my hand as I assembled a row of blocks while I built a sentence, connecting the words one at a time.
Kayla waited patiently and eventually I said, “Some of what he was saying, it was scaring me, so I called someone. They’re upstairs talking.” I glanced at the wall clock. “They’ve been talking a while.”
Kalya reached out and patted my hand, and I fought the urge to pull away. “That was a smart move, Cash. I’m glad you were looking out for him.”
Kayla didn’t hand out praise lightly, so hearing that coming from her eased some of the tension that was gathered low in my gut. I gave her a cautious smile.
“Do you need to leave for work?”
I shook my head. It was my day off. Even if it hadn’t been, I would have stayed.
She pushed back her chair and stood. “Well, I’m canceling today’s appointments. Wanna come listen to people get mad because their dogs can’t get their anal glands squeezed?” Her grin was sharp as she said it, and it reminded me of Chase when he was about to start shit.
I followed her out to the reception area and watched as she called everyone who was scheduled to come in and informed them that Dr. Ross was unavailable today.
She didn’t enter into discussions about why, and she didn’t take any crap either.
One or two people tried to argue, but she shut them down real fast. By the time she called the last client, she must have been out of patience because when they tried to insist on coming in, she heaved a sigh and told them, “Well, I’m sorry, Donna, but if you really can’t wait to have Sasha’s nails trimmed, you’ll have to go to the clinic over in South Hill.
Oh wait, you don’t like them either. I guess you’ll need to look elsewhere.
” She ended the call without giving them a chance to respond and rolled her eyes.
“I swear, that woman would complain if her ass pointed downward.”
I heard a snort and spun around to find Mason and Mr. Conrad standing in the doorway along with Dog.
Mason’s eyes were red-rimmed and his face was blotchy, but he was wearing the barest hint of a smile, and it looked like some of the weight he’d been carrying had lifted.
I hurried over and threw my arms around him, pulling him into a hug and holding him until the ball of anxiety that had been sitting in my chest unspooled.
Mason pressed his forehead to mine and whispered a quiet, “Thank you,” before letting go.
Mr. Conrad hummed and patted Mason’s shoulder. “You have my number if you need it, son. And think about what we discussed.”
“I will,” Mason said. He ran a hand down the side of his face. “Shit. I have a full schedule today.”
“No, you don’t,” Kayla said. “I canceled your appointments. You’re taking the day off.” Mason opened his mouth to protest, but Kayla folded her arms and said, “You’re taking the day,” and he closed it again.
Mr. Conrad chuckled under his breath and said, “Looks like you’re in good hands.”
“Yeah,” Mason said, looking between Kayla and me. “I think I am.”