Today
Garrett follows a path around his hotel room, bouncing a pink rubber ball as he goes. He had found the ball outside a school playground, across the street from a construction accident he had managed a few weeks ago. He had let the ball drop from his hand to the sidewalk, and the satisfaction of catching it on the way back up had been a surprise. Since then, he’s kept the ball in his suitcase, not knowing he would use it on so many nights like this. Nights after he met Nora.
Usually, Garrett spent his nights at hotels eating takeout and watching crime shows while catching up on work. There are always emails to send and forms to file. Sometimes, he tries out the hotel gym, but this is not that kind of hotel.
Instead, he bounces the ball. Around the bed and over to the tiled floor next to the sink and back to the front door. The circuit takes only a few seconds, but it gives him something to do while his brain cycles through all of his thoughts of Nora.
Before Rabbittown, he never really thought about dating again. He figured it could be something he did after he was done working for Death, once he had helped rebuild his parents’ savings, since they’d spent all of what they had and gone deeply into debt paying for his brother’s cancer treatments. He also wanted to set aside some money for their retirement. He could have a normal job and a normal dating life then.
Garrett knows he fell for Nora the second he saw her, even if he tries to tell himself otherwise. He really did want to take it slow, but he couldn’t help himself. The more he had seen her standing in that room filled with caskets, the more a little voice inside told him she could be the one to understand. He likes making her laugh and kissing her and watching the funny TikToks she sends him while he’s on the road and listening to her talk about Cheers, which he finds himself watching regularly on his own now.
Nora is complicated, but maybe not as complicated as she thinks she is. She would understand why he wants to help his family. And why he wants to help other families. He and his sister didn’t get to say goodbye to their brother. He was just gone. His job has allowed him to heal from that pain by being with others in that moment. Surely she would see that, too.
In his younger days, maybe he had enjoyed the secrecy. It had protected him from getting hurt by keeping him from getting too serious with anyone. He could always leave, and they would have to understand.
This is how he knows he’s in trouble. In the past, the leaving had been a welcome escape from someone wanting to share more of his life. Now the leaving hurts. He’s seen his friends obsessed with their partners, but he never really understood it until now. He wants to know where Nora is and what she thinks about where she is and what she’s doing. He bounces the ball harder. How did this happen?
He’s no longer content with a life of hotel rooms and a constant stream of work appointments. He wants candlelit Italian dinners and walks to get ice cream and kisses in the car. But what if she doesn’t understand? If she can’t forgive him for the secrecy? Or the things he’s done for Death? The things he would keep doing for Death?
He bounces the ball a final time and stares up at the popcorn ceiling, accepting the obvious. None of the questions matter, at least not in the face of reality.
He’s falling in love with Nora, and he has to tell her the truth. The right time will come. Eventually.