Chapter Twenty-Seven
Cassie’s heart ticked up as she pulled into Glenn’s driveway.
Maybe this was a bad idea after all. She’d promised her father she would try, but Glenn would not be happy to see her.
She’d debated whether to call or stop by, but he might not even listen to a message.
The thought hollowed her out, that he might just delete it.
But what did she expect? She’d made it clear it was over.
The days were noticeably shorter now. Still sticky with August, but at seven-thirty dusk had already settled in, the sky pinking over the ridge. She’d forgotten how lovely his place was—the hives and wetland beyond it, already deepening with evening.
She parked the car, her stomach wound tight.
Glenn’s truck was here so that meant he was home.
For half a second she thought of turning around and high tailing it back the way she came.
She could make some excuse to her dad, tell him it wouldn’t work.
But too late. Charlie had run to the fence wagging and barking.
“Charlie!” Glenn’s sharp call from the deck.
He hadn’t seen her yet since she was hidden by the big rhododendron at the top of the driveway.
She waited, her stomach in free fall. Glenn came around the side of the house and stopped.
He was wearing a pair of jeans with holes at the knees and a rumpled t-shirt.
His hair was tousled like he might have been lying on the couch. Her heart leapt at the sight of him.
“Hi,” she said as she stepped from the car.
He grabbed hold of Charlie’s collar. “Hey.”
She’d thought this visit would be okay—it had been two months after all, as long as she’d known him in the first place—but her heart wouldn’t quiet. Maybe he was seeing someone else. It was her own fault if he was.
They regarded each other for a moment over the fence, then he finally unlatched the gate. He didn’t invite her in though, he stepped onto the driveway instead, blocking Charlie with his knee. “What’s going on?” His voice was cool. “I thought you’d be back in New York by now.”
“We sold the house. A family from North Carolina with three kids. They were thrilled with all the space.”
“I saw that it sold. That’s good news.” He was still standing by the gate, hands in his pockets. She’d foolishly imagined they might hug, at least get past the awkwardness, but he was as remote as the moon.
“How’s your dad?” he said, his voice giving a little.
“He’s good. We found him a place in Riverside Gardens. It’s been a little rough, packing up and everything.”
“When does he move?”
“First of the month.” Her heart was clattering all over the place.
She hadn’t expected seeing Glenn to be easy, but this was so much harder than she’d imagined.
The living breathing reality of him. She’d thought she could do this.
A simple request for her dad. But here he was with his ripped jeans and wary expression, trying to figure out why she was here.
She missed him. Their easy conversations.
The unexpected way her body soared when he was around.
His solid convictions. She missed all of it.
But their relationship had ended up so shredded it seemed impossible to repair.
How did you get past the miscommunication and mistrust?
So she’d let it go and focused on her dad and Andrew and finding a place of her own.
And if she was lonely at night, well, she was used to it.
“Believe it or not, the bees are hanging on. Mites and everything. All three hives seem to be doing okay, from what I can tell.”
“Seemed like you had a handle on things.”
“I don’t. I’m only doing what I saw you do, as much as I remember.”
“You figured out the entrance reducer on your own; you made that pretty clear.”
She felt his sharpness like a slap. “I’m sorry about that day,” she said. “I’m sorry about everything, the way we ended up.”
“Why are you here Cassie?”
Why was she there? Yes, her dad had asked for Glenn, but she could have left a message or sent an email.
The truth was, she longed to see him. After two months it hadn’t gotten better, it had only gotten worse.
No, Glenn wasn’t perfect—he had a tendency to clam up when he was upset.
He’d finally apologized, but at the time she just couldn’t deal with it.
But nothing in life was perfect. You could drive yourself crazy trying to get there.
And here was a man who came pretty close.
Charlie, tired of being on the other side of the fence, had begun scratching at the wood. Glenn snapped his fingers. “Stop it.”
Cassie extended a hand through the slats and Charlie licked it. “Can he come out?”
“I guess so.” Glenn reluctantly opened the gate, and Cassie got down and rubbed Charlie behind the ears. Dogs were so simple. No matter how you left things, they were always happy to see you. She’d never been a dog person, but she took a long comforting inhale of his earthy smell.
Glenn shifted on the asphalt. He was barefoot. She’d interrupted his evening, his life. Her heart, which had taken off when she saw him, settled into its customary low orbit. He didn’t want to see her; that was plain. He didn’t want her here at all. All she was doing was distressing him.
“I came about the bees,” she said. “My dad’s having a hard time giving them up.
I’ve been looking around for someone to take them, but he only trusts you.
He wants you to have them. I think he has the idea he might be able to come over once in a while and see them.
” This was asking a lot, she knew. Glenn might take the bees, but he surely wouldn’t want to deal with supervising her dad and possibly running into her.
She glanced at the hives, luminous in the waning light.
A few late foragers were heading home, but most of the bees were already tucked in for the night.
Glenn was silent, and she feared he would say no.
She didn’t know how she would go back to her dad with that.
But finally he said, “I don’t mind taking them if it’ll make it easier for him. And he’s welcome any time.”
Her eyes filled unexpectedly. “Thank you. He thinks the world of you.”
“At least someone does,” he muttered.
“I did,” she said softly. “I still do if it makes any difference.”
He kicked an old tennis ball Charlie had dropped at his feet, and the dog took off after it.
“Why are you doing this Cassie? The bees are one thing and I don’t mind helping out your dad, but I can’t see you.
I can’t be friends and act like nothing ever happened between us.
Because it did. At least for me it meant something.
I get that you have a lot going on or whatever.
That’s fine. You have to live your life.
When your dad’s ready I’ll pick up the hives and get them sited, and whenever you’re up from the city you can bring him over.
Just let me know so I don’t have to be around. ”
“I’m not going back to the city. I bought a place in Stamford.”
A flicker of surprise crossed his face. “Where?”
“A little house off Hope Street. It’s a walkable neighborhood, ten minutes from my dad.
I missed out on a lot with him, and I know what’s going to happen.
I want to be here for that.” She drew a breath.
“And I took a long look at what I want in my life and none of it’s in the city.
” She glanced at the hives and the wetland behind them, where the plaintive sound of a frog had started up.
“It’s peaceful and pretty up here and I can see birds besides pigeons and I bought a couple of pots and I’m going to put them on the patio, and—” Her heart was thudding in her ears. “And you’re not in the city.”
He looked at her and she felt heat rush up her neck and face, and thank goodness it was almost dark because now she felt like an idiot.
“I miss you,” she plowed on. “There’s so many things I want to tell you, but you’re not there.
When you came over that day, all I could think of was how you’d shut down, not how you were making an effort.
And then it had been so long, and it felt like we could never find our way back.
I made a mess of it. I’m sorry.” He hadn’t said a word and her face was burning, but what did it matter.
“I know it’s too late for us, but I just wanted you to know. ”
He was as silent as a stone. He probably hated her.
“So anyway…” This was excruciating but she’d done it. She’d been honest and told him how she felt. There was nothing left to say. “I’m going to get going. Thank you for agreeing to take the bees. I’ll text you and we’ll figure out—”
“Cassie.” He took a step forward. “I’ve missed you too.”
“You have?” She was finding it hard to form a coherent thought the way he was looking at her. “You’re not uh…seeing anyone?”
“You asked me that once before and I’m still not. I only ever wanted to be with you.”
“Do you still?” She hardly trusted her voice.
“What do you think?” he said quietly.
Her heart felt like it was filled with helium, like it might float right out of her chest. “Really? Do you uh…want to see my place?”
“I’d like that. Maybe I can help you get settled.”
“That would be great. But I mean…I don’t want you to think I’m asking you to be a handyman. I only want you to come if—”
He looked amused. “You think I’m offering to be a handyman?”
Her smile welled up. “What are you offering then?”
He smiled too, a slow smile that turned her insides to butter. “I don’t know. Why don’t we see where it goes.”
. . .