Chapter 6
6
The smell of buttery pancakes and maple syrup drifted to my nose and woke me up from my sleep the next morning. Dressed in night shorts and a long-sleeved T-shirt, I met Uncle Mason and Aunt Melinda in the kitchen.
“Morning,” I said, still groggy while running a forearm over my eyes. “Is that for me?” I asked through a yawn as Uncle Mason pushed a mug of coffee my way on the kitchen island.
“All yours. Did you have a restful sleep?”
I brought the hot liquid to my lips, blowing on the steam before running the risk of burning my tongue. “Yes.”
“Honey, I’m glad,” my aunt said. “Color has returned to your face since last night. Hungry?”
I nodded.
“Sit down.” She placed a plate of pancakes topped with fresh blueberries in front of me.
“This smells divine,” I said, leaning forward to take a big whiff. “But you guys didn’t have to go into this much trouble for me.”
Aunt Melinda tapped my shoulder from behind. “You kiddin’, right? We’re just super excited to have you around. Since you know?—”
My back tensed, and I swallowed hard, waiting for her next words.
“Well, you know—” She seemed to think better and instead went with, “Let’s just say we’re ecstatic you are here with us this summer. Please let us spoil you a little, okay? We’ll try to not go overboard.”
I pinched my lips together and met her gaze. “Okay.”
“Awesome.” Tension left her shoulders, and I could see each one of her muscles relaxing.
The knots in my back dissolved too. For an instant, I wondered if she would bring up the topic we hadn’t addressed yet. Sure, I was ready to deal with the past, but maybe not on my first day in town.
“What do you wanna do today?” Aunt Melinda asked. “I have the entire morning free for you.”
“You’ll come to the garage with me on Monday morning,” Uncle Mason chimed in, “so I can show you around and explain everything to you in detail. How does it sound?”
I felt bad for my lack of enthusiasm for the job he offered me. With a deep inhale, I plastered what I hoped looked like a genuine grin to my lips. “Perfect. Thank you for doing this.”
“Anytime, kiddo.”
Aunt Melinda took the seat on my left. “Honey, you and I can drive around town, and we can get our hair done or our nails. Hang out and gossip. Your call. Unless you wanna be left alone to do whatever pleases you. Think about it.”
Uncle Mason sat down and fished something from the pocket of his jeans. “Before I forget. Here,” he said.
“What is it?” I asked once he dropped a set of keys on my palm, frowning.
“House key. Garage key. And the third one is a surprise. As long as you’re staying here, it will be yours to use.”
I blinked, taking in the logo. “For real?”
“It’s not new. It had a whole life before you, but we restored it at the garage, and it’s working like a charm. I thought you might like to have some independence.”
I blinked again. “For me?”
He nodded.
“Ohmygod. Ohmygod.” I jumped to my feet and wrapped my uncle in a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
“It was Melinda’s idea actually.”
“Thought it could help make the move less bitter,” she said. “There’s no bus service around here, and you’ll need to be able to drive yourself.”
I pulled them into my arms, and they enveloped me in their embrace. For a whole minute, I was back to being Ava, the happy teen, instead of the gloomy version of myself I had become in the last week as my heart danced with warmth at the contact.
“And it might be useful to go to see that boyfriend of yours,” Uncle Mason said in a teasing tone.
“He’s not my?—”
“Boyfriend? Already? What did I miss?” my aunt asked.
I returned to my seat. “Nothing,” Uncle Mason and I said at the same time with a chuckle.
“I can already predict this summer will be memorable,” my aunt said, unable to hide her smile. She draped her arms around my shoulders from behind. “I’ve missed you, Ava. A lot. I’m glad we’re doing this.”
I nodded, my short-lasting cheerfulness now evaporating at the thought I had been sent away. “Me too.”
We finished eating and decided we’d just drive around this morning so I could figure out how to orient myself until I became familiar with the town. I showered and dressed in a pair of denim cut-offs and a cream tank top with lacy straps, braided my damp hair over my shoulder, and added a coat of mascara and some lip gloss.
“You look beautiful, honey,” Aunt Melinda complimented when I joined her. “Ready?”
“Have fun, you two.” Uncle Mason kissed his wife and opened the door for us.
The kitchen door led to a large driveway and a detached double-door garage. The property was a flat land, delimitated by rows of thick and high trees. Colorful flower beds and wooden planters, filled with what I assumed to be vegetables and spices, were on the opposite side of the driveway. Behind the garage was a path leading to the pond Uncle Mason told me about when I first arrived here that was invisible from where we stood. The vast piece of land was covered by manicured green grass. A large oak stood in the middle of the backyard, a swing hanging from one of its branches. In my mind, I could picture a little girl perched on it, her daddy pushing her as she begged him to push higher.
I halted when my eyes landed on an old, restored teal pickup truck in the middle of the driveway. “Is this…?” I asked, with my hand over my heart.
“Yes. You like it?” my aunt asked.
“I love it.” I spun to face her. “How did you know?”
“Remember that summer we went camping by the ocean? The manager had one just like it. And you’d said when you grow up, you’d like to have one of your own. I hoped you hadn’t changed your mind.”
“Can I take her for a ride later?”
“Her? So, it’s a girl? And yes, you can. As Mason said, it’s yours to use.”
“She has too much personality to be a guy. Now I gotta figure out a name. I’ll let you know later what we agreed on, she and I.”
Aunt Melinda unlocked her car with the key fob, and we both slid in. She backed from the driveway and looked at me before pulling into the street. “As I said, I have plans this afternoon, so you can drive around and get acquainted with whatever-her-name is during that time. Sounds good?”
“Yep.” Perhaps, just perhaps, being here for three months wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Aunt Melinda and I chatted about anything and everything as we drove around town together. Friends. School. My life. Her life. Things to do around here. It was like we’d never been apart. I had decided to let go of my anger for a few hours and roll with it. She didn’t ask any questions about my mental health, but once we stopped in a parking lot, I chose to open up a little so she wouldn’t worry about me. There was something about the cozy confines of a car that made it easier to open up about my past struggles.
“It broke my heart, honey. To know you were suffering so much and that there was nothing I could do to make it go away.” She dabbed under her eyes with a tissue. “Many times, I wished I could have gotten on the next plane and hugged you. But your mom explained what your therapist said. And I understood. Didn’t mean it wasn’t hard feeling helpless.” She paused for a long moment, closing her eyes and inhaling through her mouth before bringing her attention back to me. “And in all honesty, we were so devasted. I’m not sure I would’ve been a great help to you. My heart…it was in pieces. It still is. But every day, I’m a little better at dealing with the pain. And the loss.” Her throat worked as she swallowed. “I’m glad you’re doing better too. Right now, that’s what matters the most to me. Still…I’m sorry I let you down for so long.”
I pinched my lips together to contain my emotions and reached for her trembling hand. We remained silent as the weight of the words—and the event that changed our lives forever—passed between us.
“You didn’t need to worry about me on top of everything else. I’m sorry I scared you.”
She squeezed my hand back. “Never say you’re sorry, Ava. It wasn’t your fault. I’m just glad you’re healing and offered to come here. Just promise me you’ll tell me if you ever feel overwhelmed, okay? Don’t keep it all inside. Please.”
I nodded. “I promise. I’m a work in progress, but I’m getting there. I haven’t felt like…you know…for quite some time. My heart is happier nowadays. I found other ways to cope when I’m in pain. Or when life becomes too much.”
After going to the nail salon for some French mani-pedis, we bought new shades and had lunch at The French Toast on Main Street. On our ride home, we picked up donuts at the bakery downtown and slushies at the gas station. When Aunt Melinda and I parted ways, I climbed into Destiny…no, Felicity…yes, better…and went for a drive on my own. My aunt had programmed a few places I might like in my phone, including the lake shore where there was a beach and a park.
“There are quiet spots along the shore. Can come in handy when you need time away from the world,” she told me earlier. “During the weekends and at night, people your age hang out there. Parties, barbecues, boat rides, bonfires, name it. It’s always busy.”
I wasn’t the most extrovert person, so meeting new people gave me a bit of anxiety, but I also was aware that spending all my free time by myself would turn out to be boring as hell. I had Joseph, but unless he sent me that picture of us, I had no way of contacting him because, like a fool, I hadn’t added his contact to my phone, assuming he would message me sooner.
Aunt Melinda dropped me home and left for her appointment. Armed with a towel, sunblock, and a book and wearing a bikini underneath my clothes, I decided to spend my afternoon at the lake to see what the buzz was about.
Being Saturday, the patch of grass used as a parking lot was pretty full, so I drove a bit further and found an empty spot away from the crowd.
I killed the engine and climbed out. Adjusting my sunglasses, I shouldered my bag and neared the shore following a narrow path through the trees toward the glimmering water that I could now see from a distance. My breath caught in my lungs at the beauty of it. The lake looked majestic, like a precious diamond hidden from any curious eyes who drove by. Blue sky, dark trees, sandy shore. I heard faint voices and music on my right. The smell of barbecue hit my nostrils. No doubt coming from the other side of the thick woodsy area where all the cars were parked.
The spot I found was deserted—like the ones my aunt described. A small wooden dock was set above the water. An old hammock was hung in the shadow between two mature trees, in front of a firepit made of rocks and full of ashes and half-burned logs.
The sweet scent of blooming flowers and tree moss tickled my nose in the most delicious way.
The sun shone high and bright, and after removing my top and applying sunscreen, I spread my towel on the dock and lay on my back, my book in hand, and music in my ears.
Through the years, music had become one of my coping mechanisms. It helped me evade my mind when things overwhelmed me.
I swiped my phone and clicked a picture and sent it to my best friend back home.
Me
[picture]
Iris
OMG I’m so jealous right now. I changed my mind, can I come to NC too? Looks amazing. And that bikini, girl, you look phe-no-me-nal. I hope you’ll be able to flaunt it on the beach.
I snorted and decided to not engage in this line of conversation when another text message came in.
Iris
Any news from your new friend? Still waiting for that picture?
Me
Yep. He hasn’t sent it yet. I’ll forward it to you as soon as I receive it.
We have a date next week.
Iris
Date? Like date, date? You didn’t waste any time. Tell me everything.
Me
Not what you think. Just as friends date. I’ll call you later, okay?
Iris
Sure. Have fun.
Adjusting my ear buds, I closed my eyes, basking in the heat of the sunrays when a cracking sound from the edge of the woods, about ten feet from where I lay, startled me. Could it be an animal? Fear slithered down my back. Aunt Melinda had said nothing about having to carry pepper spray around. And she said alligators didn’t usually live in the area—none had been spotted here in the last decade—and it was safe to go swimming at the lake.
Springing to a sitting position, I held my breath, my gaze zooming in on the moving tree branches. I jumped to my feet and hurried off the dock where I had discarded my stuff earlier. Two figures walked out, a guy and a girl, and stopped in front of me. The girl fixed her skirt, giving her companion a doe-eyed look and a sultry curve of her lips.
But it was the guy who caught my eye and made me his prisoner.
Tousled light brown hair, tanned skin, dressed in all black except for the brown leather cuff around his left wrist. Aquamarine eyes under a pierced brow found mine and stole every particle of air from my lungs. I gasped as he and I stared at each other for endless seconds, flames licking the space between us. His lips, the color of ripe strawberries, stole my attention.
His eyes widened…in recognition? But how could that be? We’d never met before, so it was impossible he knew who I was. Still, the look on his face resembled shock. And something else.
“Who the fuck are ya?” The girl barked the question. Her glance, filled with judgment, glided over the length of me. “Never saw you before around here. This isn’t a hangout spot for losers. Forgotten your way?” She flicked her wrist. “Wherever you came from, leave. Now. It’s a private beach. Our private spot. And you aren’t invited.”
Private beach, my ass. From the mocking tone in her voice, I could tell she was just screwing with me. On purpose.
The stranger grabbed a joint from his pocket and lit it up. Amusement danced on his features, his attention flicking between both of us.
The girl’s eyes threw daggers at me, and her disdain rippled from every inch of her bare skin. I swallowed my hesitation and firmed my back, remembering I wore nothing else other than a tiny bikini top and a pair of shorts.
In a forest-green bikini, even tinier than mine, leaving nothing to the imagination, she was beautiful. In an edgy way. With jet-black hair, smudged red lipstick, and black kohl around her eyes. Her surly attitude didn’t impress me. I had known people like her. She was just another bully. I would ignore her and not give her the time of the day. It usually did the trick.
The guy stood motionless next to her, a protective grip around her waist. His throat bobbed once. Twice. His lips pursed. And I became transfixed by the angles of his face. As if someone had sculpted his features. His heated attention covered my skin in goosebumps. The silent exchange spread shivers of excitement through me, and I hated myself for relishing their intensity.
Unable to escape the hold he had on me, I stayed rigid, my eyes lost in the green abysses of his. As if only the two of us existed on this earth. Sparkled with gold, their aquamarine hue was alluring, changing colors ever so often. Now devoid of any warmth, they were laser-focused on me. Deadly. Cleaving my body yet leaving me gasping for more. My senses felt alien to me, with the sudden rush of heat pooling in my core. The swirl of feelings was new and scary. Yet I craved more of it. I couldn’t break this hold he had on me. And I didn't want to.
Until the girl strode forward, causing his eyes to drift to her. And I was no longer his prisoner. I was left shaken and had to take a step back. What was happening to me? I sucked in a deep breath as I looked at the girl, waiting for her next move. That was sure to come. I hated confrontations and had no intention of making enemies on my first day in town.
Whatever this girl had against me, it had no weight. Still, my stomach churned at the idea she was looking for a fight. The little voices in my head told me to step back and add more space between us. Not wanting to show any fear and give her power over me, I shut them down and forced myself to stay still, right where I was.
Returning his attention to me, the mysterious stranger tightened the arm around her and held her back. She bounced back to his side with a “What the fuck” mumble and a scowl and stole the blunt from his grip, taking a long drag. I watched their interaction, my eyes going back and forth between them and wondering what their deal was.
Once again, I got lost in the depths of green irises that swallowed me whole and froze me, unable to do anything but study each detail of his profile.
I moved forward and stopped. He did the same.
“Hey,” I said, my voice shaky and low.
He blinked, his lips parting to say something when the girl cut him off. “Are you like dumb? Or do you speak English? What are you still doing here?” She sighed, rolling her eyes, her facial expressions hard and her annoyance unconcealed.
She looked at him, probably expecting him to back her up, but he remained stoic next to her.
She cursed under her breath, but her boyfriend didn’t seem affected by her antics, ignoring her, his eyes appraising me as if searching for clues. About what? I had no idea.
She stomped her foot, exasperation pouring out from her.
My jaws parted, and no matter how bad I told myself to clamp them shut, the muscles refused to listen to anything my brain ordered.
It was like this boy had taken over the control center of my body without my permission.
Beside him, the girl grew impatient and tugged at his sleeve.
As if someone had stung him, the guy’s eyes moved away from mine and broke the last thread of connection we shared. I blinked. What just happened? Everything inside me tightened, compensating for the high only his attention provided me. My pulse went ballistic, and I struggled to take a full breath in.
My heart raced in my chest. All my senses were attuned to him.
The fascination on his face dissolved, and an angry frown took over.
“Grab your things and get the fuck away from here,” he threatened, his tone vicious, not open for argument. The low baritone of his voice vibrated through me and sent a rush of heat in my belly. It quickly melted away as his words registered, and the cruel tilt of his lips sent chills down my back. Whoever he was, he had Don’t mess with me written all over his face. His sudden change of attitude confused me. A lot. His earlier surprise had morphed into aversion, matching his girlfriend’s expression.
Who was he, and what did I do to end up on his bad side? Seconds ago, we were locked in a staring contest. Was he upset, annoyed, or just being a dick? Because I had no clue how to interpret any of his moods.
“Now.” A single word. But one that acted like a punch to the stomach. Bands of steel wrenched my heart at the viciousness of his tone—and his words—when he spoke again. “This is a private beach. There is a kids’ park a quarter of a mile from here with a swing set. That seems more like your scene.”
I gasped but stayed put, refusing to move or listen to him.
My heart rate got wilder. I wasn’t one to engage with someone—even less a stranger—for the sake of it, but right now, I didn’t care.
Surprise flashed in his irises, now a darker shade of green, and a shadow passed across them, warming them up. And once again, I wondered why it felt like we already knew each other. Was he not used to people standing their ground when he bossed them around?
A split second later, the glow vanished, and I blinked again, not sure if I’d imagined it.
Making no attempts to move, I studied him as if I could solve the mystery he was.
Lost in my contemplation of him, he said something else I didn’t catch and pointed to my bag at his feet. I followed his movements, focusing on his lips.
His eyes recaptured mine, still mesmerizing. “Don’t forget your diaper bag on your way out.” This time, I heard what he said. His lips twisted, and he looked pained. His words lacked their angry sneer. Like he had no choice but to get rid of me. And fast.
Shivers clambered up my spine. Not from fear, but fascination. One I couldn’t explain. Hot and cold. The only way to describe him.
The girl burst into a devilish laugh, a smug expression shaping her lips, breaking the face-off. Until now, I had forgotten about her presence. “I think she’s a slow learner. Do you think she’s mentally unstable?”
The guy said nothing and swooped down to pick up my shirt at the same time I squatted. Our fingers brushed, and heat spread through me. As if I was on fire.
He didn't move his hand from mine. He was ensnared too. A low growl formed in his throat. And a whimper parted my lips. I had no idea what was happening. It freaked me out as much as it got me curious. Never before did a stranger have this much effect on me.
For a fleeting second, his annoyance dissolved as we stilled, eyeing each other. His gaze went back and forth from my eyes to my mouth. I chewed on my lower lip.
His breathing hastened.
I couldn’t shake away the tension that was rising between us. Was this how attraction felt? No. It couldn’t be. The rapid beating of my heart and sudden awareness were just my body’s instinctive reactions to a stranger. It had to be smart enough to ever feel the pull toward such a boy. An angry, good-looking one with a passive-aggressive problem.
Get away from him, Ava. He’s dangerous.
His hand pressed harder on mine, and my fingers twitched under his touch.
We were connecting in the most awkward manner. And yet, it sent mixed signals to every part of my body. A lure, bordering on obsession—obsession to know how it would evolve—developed deep in me.
His nonverbal cues made me believe he felt it too. The lust. The tremors of my digits. My sharp intakes of air.
His tongue swept over his lower lip, and I followed the motion. Glints shone in his irises. Air barely made it to my brain. A jumbled chaos awoke in my chest. His mouth opened, and I got transfixed by the sight, but no sound came out. My body temperature skyrocketed, and I couldn’t feel the breeze on my skin anymore.
As if he couldn’t resist the pull, the guy leaned toward me, his proximity overwhelming my senses. I moved forward, my need to be closer to him pushing me in his direction. His body grew closer, and closer, when the girl behind him cleared her throat, and we both jostled back.
My attention reverted to his face in time to witness the glower steeling his features. Upright and emotionless, he stepped back and returned to her side.
“Are you deaf?” His strained voice rendered me speechless. I tried to speak up, but all my words died on the tip of my tongue before I could express them. My mouth went dry.
“Seriously, just get lost. Go annoy someone else. Move.” He averted his eyes for a quick second, all the while tapping his foot on the dusty ground.
Gone was his nonchalant slash angry vibe. Now he looked agitated, desperate for me to be gone. Even his words sounded clipped. “Are you dumb, or is a simple request too hard for your brain to process?”
He picked the joint back from the girl’s grip, sucking on the tip.
He glared at me as if daring me to reply. To fight him. But I refused to engage in whatever this bully-off was. His eyes darkened with every passing second. As if they could see inside me. Read my secrets. And my fears. I blinked, in a weak attempt to refuse him access.
Everything around me seemed to turn silent. The water licking the shore and the birds chirping in the trees. The scent of sunscreen and flowers didn’t reach my nose anymore, buried by a faint scent of leather.
How could I be super aware of him?
My body temperature soared another degree. I was about to ask him who he was when he beat me to it, irritation heavy in his tone. “You should go back to where you came from. This isn’t your town, and you’re not welcome.” He exhaled the smoke in my face.
What a jerk.
Looking away to hide my hurt and annoyance, I groaned and shoved everything into my bag. “Asshole,” I grumbled while I hurried down the path leading to my truck, my pulse thrumming from the encounter.
“Oh, so you aren’t mute.” His voice resonated behind me.
I clenched my fists, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing any reaction from me.
With long strides and a firmed back, I walked away, pretending I wasn’t affected.
Even if the rude jerk annoyed the shit out of me, a tiny part of me, the masochistic one, wished we could meet again. Because no matter how crazy it sounded, the look he gave me sent a rush through my being like nothing else before. A thrill I couldn’t define with words. Never before had I ever felt a pull so strong toward something clearly toxic. As I risked a last glance over my shoulder, I caught him giving me a slow once-over, his gaze following my exit, trained on my butt, his face still a mask of stone.
For a fraction of a second, our gazes collided, and I felt more alive than I ever did in my life.
I turned around, scurrying away.
After dinner, I relaxed in my room, listening to music while replaying the earlier scene from the lake as I wrote in my journal. I hadn’t done it in almost a week, and it was long overdue. My therapist came up with this idea last year. At first, I was reluctant, thinking it was childish to write to a stack of lifeless paper. But then she compared it to the pen pal letters I used to send when I was younger, and I agreed to give it a shot. She was right. It helped when I put my feelings and thoughts on the pages. To let it out instead of keeping it all inside. Today’s entry was inspired by the lake encounter.
Dear Diary
I’m sorry I haven’t written to you in days. My life has been hectic in the last week, and I’m just getting used to my new reality.
Today has been a very weird day. And I have no idea where to begin… I’m in Feather Lake, NC, for the summer. I made the journey on my own. Not that it was my choice. But now that I’m here, I feel a little bit better about the whole thing. Whatever. I’m still upset with Mom and Dad about how they shipped me here without a warning, and I’m trying hard to forgive them. Work in progress. It should be my personal mantra, I guess.
On my trip here, I met Joseph. At first, he annoyed the shit out of me because—let’s be honest—he was too damn happy. Yeah, I know, I didn’t think being too cheerful was a thing either. Until I met him. He wouldn’t let me sulk on my own and did his best to entertain me the entire ride. In the end, it worked. And now he’s my only ally around here.
He invited me to hang out with his friends next Friday. Some place called Dusty’s. Is it weird we clicked so fast? I’m telling you, the light pouring out from him is contagious, and I love how he makes me feel. Calm. Even though I didn’t tell him that. Perhaps he figured it out by himself. Why else would he invite me to spend time with him?
And then there is this other guy. A stranger I met earlier today. He was dark, mysterious, and mean. Cruel, even. But if I’m being truthful, he fascinated me. More than he should have. Why? I have no clue. Every word he spoke was meant to hurt me and my feelings. He treated me like I was an inconvenience in his life. His girlfriend too. But his eyes told me another story. They were hypnotizing. A shade of green that reminded me of the deep end of the ocean. Dangerous and lethal. And when he looked at me, it was like he knew what was in my head. I never experienced something like that before. A part of me was scared, and the other half was mesmerized. Hard to explain…
And that’s not all, but you’ll think it’s silly. It was like we already knew each other. I know it makes no sense. Not at all. I’m sure I’m mistaken. Not mistaken, but wrong because it’s impossible.
When our fingers brushed, the weirdest sensation crept through me. It was so powerful. I didn’t remove my hand because I loved how it made me feel. Excited. Alive.
I don’t know his name, and I have no idea if I’ll ever meet him again. Even though he intrigues me, his attitude problem is enough to keep me away. The last thing I need, while I’m here, is to make enemies. I’ll lie low and do my own thing. Hopefully, I’ll meet people my age who don’t have a chip on their shoulders and are friendlier.
I’ll let you know how the next few days go. Gimme some time to get used to my new life, and I’m sure I’ll have plenty to say. The last few days have been exhausting. I think I need the rest.
Going to bed.
Night
Ava
Lying on my back under the covers, I replayed my day. My heart went wild every time I closed my eyes and relived the unspoken connection the handsome and not-so-friendly stranger and I shared. For a short moment, I pretended he was nice. And the girl didn’t exist. That it was just the two of us on the lakeshore. And I wondered how different our meeting would have been. But then my sanity kicked back in, and I hated myself for being captivated by him. For still thinking about him hours later.
Despite myself, my mind kept wandering back there. And curiosity got the better of me. I grabbed the journal I’d discarded on the bedside table and wrote at the bottom of today’s entry.
Who is he? And what’s his deal?
In big, bold, underlined letters. Then closed my journal when I felt I was being ridiculous and should forget all about him before he consumed my thoughts even more than he already had.
After fighting the pillows and covers for what appeared to be hours, my eyelids weighed heavy, and my brain lost the fight as sleep claimed me.