Chapter 18
18
My eyes sprang open before my alarm went off. What time was it? No sign of daylight coming through the crack between the curtains. In the dark, I searched for my phone.
Five twenty-two.
Relishing the comfort and warmth of my bed, I flipped to my side, trying to make the most of the fifteen minutes of sleep I had left. In vain.
Excitement bubbled in me.
I was not only going to learn how to surf today, but I would see Joseph again. And every minute before he arrived felt like a lifetime.
I jumped into the shower, wishing the hot water would relax the knots in my shoulders. Even though I was longing for this day, some parts of me were still anxious about how it’d go.
Dressed in a pair of unbuttoned denim cut-off shorts and the powder-blue bikini Iris helped me choose the other night, I padded toward the kitchen, my shirt hanging from my fingers. Caffeine would help settle my nerves while I got ready.
I stopped in my tracks and gulped a big intake of air at the scene playing before my eyes.
What was going on?
Wearing jeans hanging low on his hips and a tight black T-shirt that left nothing to the imagination, Ryder stood there with his back resting against the kitchen counter. His eyes were trained on me, a mug in one hand and a smirk shaping his lips.
He nodded and hummed at something Uncle Mason, who was facing the sink, was telling him, my uncle oblivious to my sudden arrival.
Images of last night flashed before my eyes. That traitorous face. The one my brain conjured when I had my hand between my thighs.
Fury awoke in the depths of me.
The last thing I needed was to see his smug expression this early. And on my day off.
I clenched my hands so tight I feared I’d draw blood.
His eyes glinted, and his lips took on a devilish tilt. Could he tell? Could he guess I had pleasured myself with him in mind? I bet he had done this. Invaded my thoughts. And my privacy. With some voodoo shit only he could come up with.
I sealed my lids for a fraction of a second, hoping his presence in my kitchen was a mirage. With a grimace, I opened one eye and screamed internally. Ryder wasn’t a product of my imagination or a remnant of last night’s session. He stood there, watching me with an amused expression.
He pinched his lips together, and I could see the gears of his brain working and the challenge illuminating his eyes. It screamed bad news. For me.
“Going for a swim at five in the morning?” he asked, the tone mocking, a contrast to the heated gaze scanning me from head to toe.
My skin sizzled underneath his perusal, but I chose to ignore whatever feeling he provoked in me. More anger spread inside me at the thought he could make me feel things I never wanted to feel.
“No. What?” Uncle Mason asked, before turning on the balls of his feet and facing me. “Morning, Ava. Up early?” He scratched his forehead. “Oh, I forgot about the surfing lessons. Sleep well?”
I felt heat creeping up my neck and cheeks. Seriously, could any of them guess what I’d been up to last night? No, how could they? Unless it was written all over my face.
I schooled my features as best as possible, aware I was a shitty liar. “Yeah.”
“No, you didn’t,” Ryder chimed in. If I could teleport him anywhere else right now, I would. Okay, this time, I was sure he could read my mind. And had psychic powers. Shit. I kept my cool even though inside, I was about to burst at the seams. I refused to let him know I had those kinds of thoughts about him. “You look like you’ve been up for days. Or all night. Anything on your mind?” A lift of the pierced brow and a crooked tilt of the lips accompanied his words. He took a sip of his coffee while keeping his gaze fixed on me. Waiting for my answer. As if. I would have loved to wipe that smirk off his face. Maybe scrape it with my nails or my teeth.
Was he trying to stir me up? To provoke a reaction out of me to confirm what he suspected?
Ohmygod, why was I so hot right now? As if my skin had caught fire.
Uncle Mason wasn’t paying any attention to us, busy working the coffee maker, but I would never fight with Ryder in front of him. No matter what. It felt wrong, and I didn’t wanna include my uncle in whatever was between us. My heart rate went wild.
Ryder waggled his eyebrows as if to encourage me to indulge him. It was bad enough I suspected he could perceive my inner thoughts. With a deep inhale, I plastered my most disinterested face on, wishing it would reveal nothing.
I needed to flee the scene. And fast. But my heels were glued to the floor. This had to be a nightmare. I had to wake up. As subtly as I could, I pinched the side of my thigh. Ouch. It. Was. Real.
No matter how much I told myself to run, I seemed to be frozen on the spot.
Casting a glance down to escape the powerful hold Ryder had on me, I noticed I still hadn’t put my shirt on. I dressed in record time, not meeting his eyes this time when I accepted the shot of caffeine Uncle Mason handed me.
“Here, kiddo.”
“What are you guys doing?” I asked, turning my back to the stranger in our house. Could I pretend he wasn’t here? I risked nothing by trying.
“Remember I said we wanted to renovate the kitchen? Well, Ride offered to help me out and thought it would be a great idea to start today. So here we are. It will be a bit of a construction zone for the next two weeks, but we’ll get through this.”
“Oh. You should’ve told me. I could’ve given you a hand.”
“It’s a two-man job, baby girl,” a low voice said from behind me. “We can’t have you breaking a nail.”
I jumped around, ready to strangle him. Ryder laughed at his own words. The sound vibrated through me. How could I despise someone that much?
I hate you, I mouthed, not shying away from the true feelings that concerned him.
Wanna bet? He mouthed back the question, his cockiness on full display.
I saw fire-engine red. That smirk.
Repeating in my head he wasn’t worth my time or my energy—not today and certainly, not at this hour—I groaned and took a step back, escaping his gravitational field.
“When Joseph arrives, I’ll be in my room,” I said, turning on my heels and hurrying away before I could do or say something I’d regret later.
“Ride, don’t be a jerk,” I heard my uncle say. “I know you guys like to get a rise out of each other, but Ava is good people. Have her back. Please.”
I closed the door before I could hear his answer. In my head, it sounded something like “She’s not worth the trouble” or “She’s just a kid, tantrums are expected.” Or “She’s making herself come thinking of me. Let me enjoy this moment.”
I flipped the bird at the door, my breathing returning to normal. Almost.
Busying myself, I filled my backpack with a towel, underwear, a hoodie, and a pair of jeans.
A knock on my door put to rest the hatred I felt toward Ryder.
“Come on in,” I said, thinking it to be my aunt.
I pivoted and came face to face with the boy I hated the most.
“No. No, no, no. Out. Now. This is my room. And you’re not invited. Leave.” I pushed his chest with both palms, but he didn’t budge. I pushed harder.
He circled my wrists with his hands, and I lost the fight. We both breathed hard as we stood there, barely six inches apart.
“Get out. Go, annoy someone else.” I held his piercing gaze. Unless he was an idiot, he couldn’t miss the wrath radiating from every inch of me. “Are you deaf? I asked you to leave. Twice. Why won’t you?” I cocked my head to the side, escaping the dark abysses of his eyes. The ones about to ruin me if I got lost in them.
“Well, aren’t you an angry little kitten early in the morning?”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. Stop denying it. You’re all feisty. And it’s kinda cute.”
“What do you want?” I asked, unable to hide my annoyance under pretty words.
“To talk to you.”
“No, you don’t.” I eyed him with disdain.
He stepped forward, and I stepped back.
“Don’t come any closer.” I feared if he neared me, my night fantasies would be ruined forever. That the perfect angles of his face would haunt my thoughts for the rest of time. Hard pass.
Ryder took one more step forward. And I took one more step back. We did this dance thrice until my back was pressed against the wall.
It took all I had to not bring my attention to him. He still held my wrists, preventing me from putting more distance between us. In another attempt, I tried to yank my arms away, but Ryder’s grip on them tightened. My forearms were pressed on each side of my head.
Even if I tried, I had nowhere to escape, his intoxicating energy enveloping each of my cells.
Ryder’s voice sounded rougher as he asked, “Who would have thought you’d be such a headache after only a week in town?”
His words hit me because even though I chose not to, my eyes snapped to his of their own volition. Stop it, Ava, I told myself. Over and over. No matter what, I couldn’t ignore him when he stood so close and his body was pressed against mine.
Get away from him, Ava, I repeated to myself. The traitorous part of me relished this little act he was putting on.
Why was my body not agreeing to my commands? Couldn’t it listen to me for once?
I pushed my shoulders back. Ryder wouldn’t have the last word. Not if I could prevent it.
“Me? A headache? How about you being a walking nightmare? You are the one driving me insane. You are the one searching for a fight every time we cross paths. Not me. So, take a good look in the mirror.”
He chuckled. My blood boiled in my veins at his audacity.
“You are impossible. It’s all your doing. Angering me. Driving me nuts. You are the worst person I’ve ever met. You take pleasure in bullying people. No, scratch that. From what I’ve witnessed so far, you’re only bullying me.” I held my chin high when I said, “Tell me right now you don’t take pleasure in it. Come on, say it.”
He snorted. “See, you can be zesty when you put your mind to it. I knew you had it in you. It suits you.”
He chose to ignore my dig at his character. Couldn’t he own up for once? Admit he loved torturing me.
I glared at him, but the fire in his eyes melted my resistance.
With a sigh, I dropped my shoulders. “Let me go, or I’ll be late.”
“Not until you hear me out.”
I shook my head. “Sorry, did you say something? I see your lips moving, but there’s no sound coming out.”
Surprise flashed on his face, but he replaced it with a scowl.
“What was I saying?” I asked. “Oh yes, that I can’t stand you and you gotta let me go. I have plans that don’t involve you, and right now, you’re about to make me late. Leave me alone. Forget I exist.”
“Impossible.” Seriousness took over his face, and something resembling hurt flashed in his eyes. He blinked, and it was gone. Was that an emotion other than annoyance that I’d witnessed? “As long as you’re here, I’m not going anywhere, baby girl. Get used to it.”
“Why?” The doorbell rang, cutting short our confrontation. “See, my ride is here. Release me. Whatever point you’re trying to prove, let’s just pretend it worked, okay? I’m done playing your mind games.”
I turned my head toward my bedroom door, hoping someone would knock and break the awkwardness of the moment when Ryder held my wrist with one hand and used the other to clamp my chin and force my head in his direction. My back was still pressed against the wall, so I had no choice but to comply.
“Look at me.”
I closed my eyes.
“Come on, baby girl. Before you attacked me with your words, I came in here to tell you that I’m sorry.”
This did the trick because my eyes popped open.
“I was out of line earlier with the breaking a nail comment. If you hadn’t gone all aggressive on me, I would have told you sooner and been out of your room by now. Guess you like having me here after all.” He winked before leaning even closer, his body flush with mine and his breath caressing the shell of my ear as he spoke. “Does the banter turn you on? Do you touch yourself thinking about me after we’re done? Is that why you can’t sleep at night? Because I invade all your dirty dreams?”
My wrath returned, and my eyes threw daggers at him. How could he? Was it written all over my face? My neck heated up. Ryder lifted one brow, waiting for my reply.
Now I was sure he had mind-reading psychic powers.
I swallowed and chose to change the topic. “Well, at least be honest. You can’t help it. Aggravating me is your favorite hobby. Just say it.”
“You wish.”
“I wish not.” I heard voices coming from the kitchen and knew Joseph had arrived. Trying to get away from the intruder in my bedroom, I switched to a warm-honey tone. “Can I go now? I have more important things to do than waste my time around you. Some of us actually have places to be.”
“You sound like a brat.”
We glowered at each other for another couple of seconds when Ryder finally released me. I rubbed my wrists to get rid of the stiffness—and the memory of his touch—there.
Without a word or a look at him, I shouldered my bag, pushed past him, exited my bedroom, and kissed Uncle Mason’s cheek, joining Joseph in the entryway.
My heart skipped a beat when his eyes landed on mine.
His lips tilted up, and I bet everybody in a ten-mile radius could sense the happiness ping-ponging between us in that instant.
He took my bag from me and opened the front door. “Ready?”
I bobbed my head, my excitement about the day returning, and my hatred for Ryder fading away. Joseph grabbed my hand, and flutters woke up in my core. I couldn’t wait to be far away from here.
When I caught Ryder’s eyes through the kitchen window while closing the door, he looked troubled as he watched me, his hands deep in his pockets, and his shoulders slumped.
Ryder never projected the same joyful energy that Joseph did. He wasn’t caring or humorous. But there was a force emanating from him I couldn’t deny. A dark side of him that a tiny part of me wished I could unwrap to see if his heart was really made of thorns or rather burnished gold treasured under layers of harsh life experiences.
I pushed the thought away. Ryder was a living contradiction. One I had no intention of resolving. And one I should avoid. At all costs.
Joseph and I stood side by side on the beach as the ocean displayed its majestic beauty with the slow cresting and rolling of its tides on the shore under the first rays of sunshine. A handful of surfers were already catching waves on our left.
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to do that?” I said, pointing to a girl riding a pink board with ease.
“We might not even go into the water today. We’ll practice your pop-up technique. On the sand. It’s easier to do it in water if you master it on land first.”
In the early morning light, I enjoyed the sight of him. Longish golden hair swept by the ocean breeze, sky-blue irises, tanned skin, toned muscles, low board shorts. I could watch Joseph all day without blinking. Holding two surfboards under his arms, he could be the sport’s perfect poster child.
My attention drifted to his mouth, hypnotized by the pink hue of his lips, as he explained the four steps to achieve the perfect surfer stance.
Things had been slightly awkward since he picked me up earlier. I could still feel the tension dancing between us, but neither of us had made any move to continue things from where we left them last night.
“Can you repeat the steps?” Joseph asked. “You seem a bit distracted this morning.”
“You are distracting,” I admitted, cupping my mouth with my hand, surprised by the bluntness with which I spoke the truth.
Dropping the boards on the beach, Joseph came closer. “Avalon, you want me to kiss you?”
I nodded, unable to get a word out.
“I was hoping you hadn’t changed your mind since last night.”
Heat swirled around us.
My heartbeat pounded in my head.
When his hands wrapped around my waist and his lips lowered to mine, I lost touch with reality.
Joseph stepped back before I could deepen our connection.
“Better?” he asked with a smile lifting the corners of his lips.
“You’re still distracting,” I said, breathless. “But I think I can pay attention now.”
“Good. We’ll work on the distraction part later.” He winked.
Heat crawled up my cheeks. No doubt I was blushing crimson right now.
“Let me demonstrate what I mean. If you don’t listen to my words, at least watch my body as I move.”
That I could do. He lay down on one of the boards. Yes, I could watch him as his bronze skin and lean muscles captivated me. “This is the press-up position. See how I align my hands with my chest. It’s a bit like a yoga pose.” I followed the placement of his hands. “Next, you press up until your arms are straight. You want your eyes to look forward and your head tilted up. Just watch.” He moved into position. “Now, you gotta pop up. That’s the hardest step because it requires balance. In one swift movement, once your arms are extended, you bring your knees to your chest and pop up on your feet.” He did it. “Let me start over from the beginning. The sequence is super quick. That’s what we’ll practice today. Once you’re on your feet, all you gotta do is position yourself on the board a bit sideways. Always place your leading foot in front just like you would do on a snowboard or a skateboard.”
“Leading foot? I’ve never been on any board before.”
“Super easy. We’ll find out in just a second. Watch one last time as I do the sequence, then we’ll be ready to go.”
I followed each movement as Joseph went from lying on his front to standing on the board.
He neared me and rubbed my upper arms in a comforting gesture. Could he read the alarm on my face?
“Avalon, you’ll do great. I’ll be by your side the whole time. Ready to find out which foot is your dominant one?”
I nodded.
“Good.” He moved to stand behind me and held my waist. Goosebumps blossomed there. “I’ll push you forward. Don’t resist. Just a gentle push, I promise. You won’t fall, but it’ll give us the much-needed information about your stance. Ready?”
With both palms flat on my back, Joseph pushed me. I braced myself on my left foot.
“Good. You’re a regular rider.”
His hands locked back around my waist, and he pulled me to him. The beating of his heart reverberated through me.
“Wanna try?” he asked, his voice a murmur as he spoke next to my ear.
My own pulse grew crazy in my chest.
“Yes.”
His lips skimmed my cheek. “Good. Let’s get to it.”
We broke apart, and I felt the withdrawal of his touch as soon as he let go of me.
Swallowing and wetting my lips with my tongue, I tried to restore my control.
After a few tries and Joseph’s help to correct my posture and give me hints, I removed my hoodie, the rising sun and the exercise warming me up. Flat on my front on the board in only my denim shorts and a see-through white T-shirt over my bikini, I practiced my stand-up position again and again.
Even without glancing in his direction, I could sense Joseph’s eyes sweeping over my silhouette in appreciation.
“Avalon, you’re a natural. Let’s take a break, and then we’ll try it in water.”
Knots tied my stomach. “Water? Like riding waves?”
He let out a heartfelt laugh. “No. No waves for a while. I’ll stand beside you and hold the board while you move into the surfer stance. You’ll see how different it feels while in the water.”
“Oh, okay. For a moment, I got scared.”
“I told you I’ll be right there with you the entire time. If we catch a wave later, it’ll be for fun, and I’ll be on the board with you. Deal?”
I nodded. “Yep.”
Sitting on the sand side by side, our legs folded and our arms locked around our knees, Joseph offered me a granola bar and a bottle of water as we admired the surfers at work.
“Can I ask you a question?” he asked after a minute, breaking the silence.
“Sure.”
“Did you sleep at all last night? Because I’m not sure I did. I had a girl on my mind the entire time.”
I returned his grin. “I don’t think I did. Not a lot, at least. I had a boy on my mind the entire time.” I kept my eyes trained in front of me, refusing to risk a look in his direction and his being able to call bullshit on me. If I was being honest, I didn’t lie to him. Not completely at least. He really occupied my thoughts. Until I chose to take advantage of the fantasies and my brain mixed things up. It was just a cognitive malfunction. That was what I concluded after my morning encounter with Ryder. Because there was no way I could have ever come that hard thinking of him. Nope. The wires of my brain short-circuited. Now that I was aware, it would never happen again.
“Think we could go on a real date next time? Just the two of us?”
“Isn’t it what we’re doing all day?” I asked, sipping on my water, doing my best to look unaffected.
“Nah. I want to invite you someplace else. Not my family restaurant or hanging out with my friends. And not on a beach where my dad could walk in on us anytime or at your house where that Ryder guy could spy on us. You and me, somewhere we can be alone and enjoy our time together. Get to know each other better.”
Ohmygod, Joseph was asking me out on a date. Freaking-out minute. I pinched my lips together, breathed in, and said, “I’d like that.”
“What about next Saturday? We could go surfing in the morning, and I would take you out at night.”
I answered without hesitating. “Sounds great.”
“Awesome. Can’t wait.” One finger under my chin to turn my head toward him, and Joseph’s lips connected with mine in a slow kiss before he rose to his feet and offered me his hand. “Come on, let’s get into the water.”
I removed my clothes and stood in a bikini, facing him, for the very first time. It felt a lot like being naked in front of the guy I had a crush on with nothing to cover me up. I wasn’t ashamed of my body, but I wasn’t that confident either. There was a big difference between stripping off my clothes while swimming with friends and in front of one boy, with his eyes caressing me. It felt oddly intimate. Even though he was the one I’d kissed. Many times now. Perhaps I could do this. Let go of my reservations today. “Avalon, I must say. If you thought I was distracting earlier, I can say the same thing about you.”
I folded my arms over my chest. And cursed Iris and her ideas. I should have worn a wetsuit or something when Joseph offered earlier. He promised the water wouldn’t be cold, so I refused when he said he wouldn’t wear one.
The same way he did earlier, he rubbed my upper arms, his touch warm and reassuring. “Hey, don’t be shy. It was just a statement. I won’t ogle you. You look beautiful. It’s a compliment.”
I relaxed a little under his palms. “Thanks. I’m not used to being barely dressed in front of guys.”
“Guys?” He tipped one brow.
“A guy. You.”
His hands descended to my hipbones. “I’m just teasing you. Let’s get wet.” He winked, and I melted inside at the way he watched me, his grin blinding.
And without thinking about it twice, I followed him, grimacing when I entered the waters, but warming up quite rapidly as Joseph scooped me over his shoulder and dropped me into the ocean, both of us laughing our hearts out.
“Warmer now?” he asked.
“Yep,” I said, pushing the loose strands of the hair glued to my cheeks away from my face.
He kissed my lips before he went to retrieve a board from the beach.
On my front, I paddled with my hands the same way he taught me. When he held the board, I positioned myself.
“Remember what we practiced. You can do this.”
“You won’t let go of me, right?”
“Never.”
I steadied my breathing, trying to smother the thundering of my heart by focusing on the sequence of actions.
It took me seven tries before I finally stood on my two feet on a surfboard in the Atlantic Ocean. Joy flowed in my veins as I stretched my arms over my head, forgetting all about my balance and diving into the salty waters headfirst, screaming as I did.
I resurfaced, unable to hide the happiness that must have taken over my features.
“You did it.” Joseph’s cheerfulness matched mine.
I jumped into his embrace, my arms circling his neck. “I did it.”
In my overjoyed state, I landed a kiss on his lips. His arms wrapped tighter around me, and before we could fully comprehend what we were doing, we kissed as if it was the first time. And the hundredth one.
His tongue swirled around mine, and a groan left his mouth. I could barely stand on my feet, my entire being floating from the pleasure coursing through me.
Time didn’t exist anymore.
“Wanna try again?” he asked.
I bobbed my head.
With his hands around my waist, Joseph lifted me up until I sat on the board. With one palm, he adjusted his swimming trunks, and I averted my eyes, pinching my lips together at the idea I was the reason for the tenseness I felt there seconds ago.
Joseph cracked his neck on each side, rolled his shoulders back, and blew out a long breath. “Okay, get into position.”
“You okay?”
His throat rippled. “Trying to be.” Now it was his turn to flush.
Out of the next ten tries, I succeeded at standing in the surfer stance four times, two of which lasted for more than twenty seconds, something I considered a huge win.
“Hungry?” Joseph asked when I fell into his arms after my last attempt.
“Famished.”
“Come on, Amanda has reserved us the best table. Let’s have breakfast.”
We toweled down and put our clothes back on before carrying the boards to the surfing school premises.
“You can leave your bag here. Still up for giving me a hand during lunch hour later? You don’t have to, though.”
“I insist.”
With our fingers threaded together we made it to Ocean Mist.
Pride wrapped around my heart. I did it. I had succeeded at something new.
I tightened my grip on Joseph’s hand. “Thank you. For believing in me. And teaching me how to surf.”
His smile dazzled me. A ray of sunlight in my usual tempered existence.
“Thank you for trusting me.” His reply warmed my chest with a feeling I had never experienced before.