Chapter Four
It was probably not the best idea to start a brawl on a deserted island when I should be trying to survive, but I was one iota from attacking Not-not-Oskar. He could probably see it on my face because he raised his hands and took a big step back from me.
“Oh, so you like making me think I’m crazy, do you? Like a bit of gaslighting, do you? I’m sure it was soooo funny, Ha-fucking-ha.”
I stood up, angry but still careful not to kick Ettore or Jin Woo, who were both very conspicuously silent.
“It wasn’t a good time,” Oskar said, not looking sheepish enough for me, not looking contrite at all.
Fighting the urge to kick him, I took a big deep breath, letting the cool smoky air fill my lungs. It didn’t dampen my anger, but gave me enough control to think clearly. I didn’t have time for this mess.
“I’m going outside for a minute, and then I will come back in, and we’ll make an actual plan on how to survive here. Do you understand?”
I was mostly speaking to Oskar, but three people, including the bump on the floor, nodded. Of course, Oskar freaking didn’t.
Ignoring their, albeit valid, protestations about the cold, I burst outside.
I wanted to take a second to let my anger, betrayal, and disappointment wash over me in waves. Still, my surroundings immediately pulled my attention, suppressing my internal turmoil and forcing me to stay on alert.
It was almost apocalyptic. A layer of light grey covered the low scraggly grass, the boughs of the pine trees, and the half-bare bushes that were scattered around the cabin.
In the near distance, the scrubland bled into a sad-looking grassland that rose in a gentle hill that sloped away from me.
At the top of the hill, something reddish glinted, and a bit of white moved just beyond the crest.
The cool air began to penetrate my barely dry clothes, my coat being lost in the water, but I couldn’t go back in. I just couldn’t, so instead I began to trek up the hill, savouring the air in my lungs and the burn in my calves and thighs.
At the top of the hill, the entire island spread out below me like an unfurled blanket.
The ashy grey-green of the cleared center of the island, the pock mark of the cabin, and the ring of trees that were the last barrier between the grass and the sand and the dark grey sea.
The water spread out in a way that seemed infinite, no hint of land in any direction, no boats or planes, or marks of human life.
We were truly alone; this wasn’t some sick dream.
If I hadn’t already had a million shocks today, I would have sat down hard, let the despair and desperation wash over me.
But at this point, I was past all that; instead, I took stock.
At the far edge of what I was realizing was pastureland, there were sheep, their wool overgrown and dirty, but sheep nonetheless. Which meant we wouldn’t starve.
The red thing turned out to be a trough full of slightly moving water with a hose attached.
It seemed that the water was being pumped up from a well.
That was good and bad. Good, because we knew this place had fresh water we could drink, ensuring we didn’t die of dehydration.
Bad, because the trough seemed worn and old, meaning that this place and these sheep may be forgotten, leading to no one visiting often enough to find us.
Next to a tree near the trough were a couple of half-moldy plastic buckets that I rinsed out and then filled with water.
I wasn’t exactly a city girl, I was not completely unfamiliar with farm work, but I had forgotten how freaking heavy water buckets are!
By the time I was at the door to the cabin, I was breathing hard, my arms were like jelly, and a light sheen of sweat had appeared on my nose and cheeks.
Hauling the water had been laborious and exhausting, but it had cleared my mind.
Whatever carbon monoxide poisoning-esque pheromones the men in that cabin were giving off, I needed to ignore them.
I was going to survive, and I was going to leave this place, start a true new life.
That was my goal, and I was going to stick with it.
Oskar was a dick, definitely not the fun kind, and I wasn’t going to fall for his gaslighting.
We would cohabitate until we could leave, and then I would never see him again.
It was obvious that the boy I had known was gone, and in his place was an asshole I very much didn’t care for.
Mind made up and feeling better (and colder), I burst into the cabin where the men abruptly stopped speaking the moment I walked in.
“Oh, don’t mind me, “ I snarked, stomping through the cabin and dropping the water buckets near the fireplace, “continue with whatever mysterious thing you all were talking about, I promise I won’t eavesdrop.”
Jin Woo looked appropriately chastened, Ettore had a sly smirk on his face, and Oskar just stared at the wall as though, if he just stared hard enough, he would find the answer to some all-important secret.
“So!” I punctuated my words with a hard slap-brush of my hands, ridding them of some of the grime from the bucket, “It looks like we are going to be here for two weeks. We need to make a plan to buckle down and survive until at least then.”
“Why two weeks?” came the low, melted caramel of Oskar’s voice. I wasn’t going to let myself fall into it. No! I was fricken mad at him!
“Well, Oskar,” I enunciated every syllable, practically abusing his name in my mouth.
Ooh-ssss-kcar, curling my tongue around the R, leaning into whatever proper Norwegian accent I had left, “there is no air travel for two weeks per this one’s,” I pointed at the lump near the fire who still had a blanket drawn around him, “assistant. They are probably not going to risk another boat, not when it is storm season. Because of all that, it makes sense only to start lighting signal fires in two weeks, when people could be out looking for us. We should save our strength and fuel.”
I gave him my most disdainful look, the look I gave people when they were being complete and utter idiots or treating me like I was an idiot.
“You used to be clever, I guess being an awful twat degraded your brain.”
“Ooooo!” Ettore stage whispered.
“Oh, don’t be a child,” Oskar retorted, crossing his muscle-y arms across his broad chest.
“I wouldn’t say that if I were you,” chimed in Jin Woo.
“Oh, I’m sorry that I’m acting a bit peeved, I guess being fucking gaslit into thinking that I was hallucinating my former best friend affected me. I’m sorry that my reaction to betrayal is overly juvenile for you!” I spat.
Oskar ground his teeth, the muscles in his jaw shifting around in a lightning-quick dance.
“It was for the best,” he finally said.
“Again, not good, not good, fra’,” said Ettore.
I was sure my cheeks would be hot to the touch; my anger was so strong that it seeped into my skull, the tension causing a thrumming headache. And then, all at once, it dissolved. I was much too tired and frankly too sad for this right now. I would yell at him tomorrow. Maybe.
“I hope so because it sure didn’t feel that way to me.”
The guys let my words hang in the air, and as I leaned back against the wall, I didn’t look at Oskar. It hurt too much.
“Anyways,” I plowed ahead, “I’ve brought water, though we should probably boil it because it was from a sheep’s trough.”
I spotted a small cast-iron pan in the corner, mercifully not rusted, but it looked like it would only hold a cup of water.
“We can use that pan, “ I pointed to it, “ and just take turns boiling and drinking.”
Oskar walked over to one of the buckets and raised it to his lips, as if it were a mug rather than an extremely heavy bucket most likely used to bring feed to the sheep.
“Or don’t,” I snarked, “and get fucking diphtheria or typhoid or something. When you are shitting and puking yourself to death, I am not taking care of you!”
Jin Woo stood up to get some water too, but he paused as he passed me.
“Mina, you should drink only the boiled water; we’ll be fine without.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Because, let me guess, you all are made of sterner stuff.”
“Exactly, piccola salvatrice,” Ettore responded as he went to drink from the bucket; he at least scooped the water up in his hands, his eyes closing in almost bliss.
“Fangulo, I was thirsty.”
I was anything but stupid, and this was getting ridiculous.
“Do you all know each other?” I asked them, eyeing all four of them.
“No,” Ettore said innocently, “do you and Oskar know each other?”
Oskar grunted and strode over to the fire and aggressively stoked the flame, practically chucking a piece of driftwood into the blaze.
“Oh, yes,” I knew that I should probably let it rest, not share our business in front of strangers, but I didn’t have the restraint, “we were best friends for eight years, closer than close and then one summer, everyone, including Oskar, decided that it was for the best that I never see or talk to him again.”
I shrugged as if it hadn’t caused me so much pain that my parents had to force-feed me, medicate me basically into a coma, and put me in intensive therapy for over a year.
“He didn’t respond to my calls, texts, emails, or letters. He wouldn’t open the door when I knocked. I climbed up to his window, and he slammed it closed on me.”
The words had come out fast, and it took hard work to pull off a vaguely disinterested expression.
“But that was ages ago. Ancient history. Honestly, I should pretend I don’t know him like he pretended not to know me.”
“Oh, salvatrice,” Ettore murmured sympathetically.
“It’s fine,” I ground out, even though it was very much not fine.
“The trio of survival goes, shelter, because you can die of exposure in like an hour—check, access to water because you can die of dehydration in like a day or two—check. All that is left is food, and that’s not a huge worry as we can last for about two weeks without it. ”
Jin Woo nodded encouragingly at me, and I could kiss him.
“So, I think that we should go and walk the beach and see if there is any debris from the wreckage that we can use.”
Ettore nodded.
“Fine, but must I come? I really am not a cold-weather person, and I’d rather put off my exposure for as long as possible.”
I stared at him for a long moment.
“Fine.”
Jin Woo got up, and Oskar did as well after a long pause. The lump didn’t move.
***
The wind was picking up, and the sun was high-ish in the sky.
So I thought it was around noon. My stomach was quite vocal about its emptiness, but I did my best not to think about it.
I should get used to hunger, I thought to myself as I picked my way over the beach, doing my best to avoid the sharp rocks since my flimsy shoes would be little protection against the stones that littered the beach.
“Here. I found a couple in my jacket.”
Thrust practically into my stomach was a fairly abused-looking granola bar, the thin, shiny coating matte in places, but it was the first food I’d seen in almost a day.
However, the hand that was offering it was that same freckled and tanned hand that I knew automatically, even though it had been years since I had last held it, well, held it properly.
I didn’t want to take the bar, but my stomach most definitely did.
“Aren’t you hungry?” I finally said, not looking at his face.
“Nej.”
“Thanks,” I replied before inelegantly shoving the bar into my mouth, the crumbles of it, falling over my fingers and into the sand in little waterfalls of waste.
It wasn’t much, but it was just enough that my stomach stopped complaining quite so loudly.
With my stomach settled, I was able to scour the beach.
There wasn’t much, but we were able to scavenge a life preserver and the rope it came with, a long portion of the railing, probably the railing that Jin Woo had clung to, and a flat piece of metal about a foot wide. Not the best, but not the worst.
My finds gathered in my arms, I turned to Oskar, determined to thank him, properly this time, for the granola bar.
He was looking at me, gazing at me. His face was full of something like wistfulness and a soft desire so singular, it took my breath away.
As soon as he noticed me looking, he turned, his shoulders raising and his back hunching. He quickly moved away, striding down the beach. It was probably only a 20-minute walk to go around the entire island, but it looked like he was trying to do it in ten.
Making my way back to the cabin, I tried to remind myself of the betrayal and hurt that he had dealt me, but I couldn’t shake the expression on his face.
Maybe the boy I knew wasn’t completely gone after all.