Chapter 29
Braxton
“What do you mean I’m not the one that’s cursed?” Azalea’s eyes flash with indignation. “I’m the one who’s trapped in this skyforsaken castle. I’m the one who isn’t allowed to leave these grounds. I’m the one who’s been ripped away from my family.”
“I’m your family,” I nearly growl, my emotions beginning to spill past the mask I’ve worked so hard to create.
She curls her lip at me, her expression speaking volumes more than words ever could. I’m not her family. Not anymore, at least.
“I was your family,” I amend, watching Azalea soften at the gentleness in my tone.
“What happened, Braxton?”
I let out a heavy sigh, wishing I didn’t have to tell this story again.
The first handful of times she started remembering, when the curse was still fresh, I tried to push off this inevitable moment.
I learned quickly that the moment any of her memories start resurfacing, it’s too late.
Once she finds out too much and it spurs her to remember even the smallest of details, the curse starts over.
I momentarily wonder if this wouldn’t be so hard if it wasn’t something I’ve had to explain to her an uncountable amount of times. If it wasn’t something I had to relive with her over and over again. If it wasn’t something I had to watch break her again and again. My sweet, strong Wildflower.
As I tell her the truth, her memories will begin to break through the magical barrier in her mind, and this resurfacing will cause her immense physical and emotional pain.
Worst of all, she’ll endure all of that and take every ounce of this torture in stride, only for her to forget everything the moment she goes to sleep.
Then, we start it all over again. I will wake up to her hating me fresh as the first day this curse started.
My curse is that to save the person I love the most in this entire world, I have to endure them despising my very existence every single day and having no recollection of the wonder that we once were, for the rest of our lives.
And since we are bound by magic, our lives have continued for close to a century now.
The curse that envelopes this castle, keeping out disease, people, animals, and even untimely weather, also prevents us from aging.
“You died,” I say it plainly, feeling the constriction in my chest as I’m forced to face the truth once again.
My mind takes me back to that dreadful day when I watched her life slowly fade away, her blood coating my hands, staining them with a shade of scarlet that will never fully wash off.
I flex my fingers at my side. I can remember exactly what it felt like to hold her until her body went limp against me.
Her chest stopped moving. Her heart stopped thrumming against my palm.
Her fingers went slack in my hand as I clutched her close.
The all-consuming feeling of helplessness still rattles me to my core.
“What?” Azalea croaks.
“You died. In my arms, covered in blood, and I couldn’t do anything to save you.”
“So… how am I here?” She shakes her head back and forth.
Her hand reaches up, and she begins rubbing her fingers back and forth across her lips as she tries to process this revelation. Finally, she looks up at me, her eyes a mixture of curiosity and despair, screaming the question she can’t voice at me.
Rubbing one hand over my jaw, I start telling the story that has haunted my every nightmare since I doomed us to this castle.
Still, as I relive the twisted fairytale that has become my reality, I tread carefully with my words.
I can’t tell her everything. She doesn’t need to know the truth of what I did after she died. She won’t remember that.
“I made a deal with a witch. One that I’ve had to live with now for a century.”
“A century?” Azalea’s breath escapes her and she slowly steps away from me until the backs of her legs hit the bed and she sits down.
I keep pushing through the story, figuring the sooner I can say it all the sooner she can begin to cope, until she inevitably falls asleep and we start all over.
“You got sick… very sick. It was sudden and unexpected, and it claimed your life.” Not completely a lie.
“I—” My voice becomes strained, and I grant myself a moment before I continue the story.
Though I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve any grace for what I’ve done.
“I couldn’t bear living in a world that you weren’t a part of.
I heard there was a witch in the village who could help.
She was powerful, and she had been said to have brought people back from the dead before if acted upon fast enough.
I raced you into the village.” I pause, flashes of my deranged, blood-soaked reflection flashing through my memory.
And the sound of a broken cry. I shake myself.
“You were still warm in my arms when I found her. The witch said that she could bring you back to me. I wasn’t too late. ”
I look up. Azalea has paled considerably, and her attention is fixed on me, hanging onto my every word.
“As magic goes, I couldn’t be given something for nothing.
I needed to provide a sacrifice to bring you back.
” Again. Not technically a lie, just not the full truth.
“In return for getting you back, I was cursed. She bound us to the castle together, me with all of our memories together, and you having no clue who I was.”
“So… so this entire time… through everything…” Azalea can’t finish her thought, so I finish it for her.
Standing from my chair, I take one step closer to her with every word I speak. “I’ve loved you. Unfalteringly, unwaveringly, uncontrollably, and unstoppably. No matter how many days I wake with you hating me, I have not once ever stopped loving you.”
A choked sob leaves her.
“I’ve been so awful to you.” Her forehead creases and her fingers return to her temples. “I remember, bits and pieces.” She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth as her mind continues to sort through her memories.
When she looks back at me, her ethereal eyes soften.
Those eyes were what first drew me into her, and no matter what emotion comes blazing out of them, they always bring me to my knees.
But, if they turn even a fraction closer to pitying, I won’t be able to stop myself from doing something to send her right back to hating me.
“So, I’m just collateral damage for the curse you agreed to for yourself.”
I suck in a harsh breath. I’ve never thought of her that way.
I didn’t think about how much this would hurt her when I agreed to it.
I didn’t think she would ever remember anything.
That’s what Dianthus told me. I would be bound to her for eternity, both of us living far longer than any human possible.
And we would be together. I practically jumped out of my skin to agree to it.
I should have known it sounded too good to be true.
Dianthus warned me that Azalea wouldn’t remember me or our life together, and in that moment, I thought that could be a blessing in disguise.
What that bitch didn’t tell me was that if she ever remembered anything about me, her memory would be wiped clean.
I couldn’t tell her the bits and pieces of the truth to keep her safe from the full reality of the situation.
I couldn’t tell her anything. I had to play into the narrative Dianthus planted in Azalea’s mind, and endure her loathing me every day over and over again.
I had to squash her budding curiosity, one of the things I loved the most about her, because every time she found out too much, we had to start over.
And I only had so many chances to break this curse.
Every time we had to restart, I was one step closer to it becoming permanent.
“Why didn’t you tell me this?”
“I couldn’t. If I told you the truth, or when you discovered it on your own, which has been a lot by the way… your memory would be erased when you went to sleep and we would start from scratch.”
“My memory is erased?”
I nod.
“But only when I go to sleep?”
Another nod.
“Well, then I’ll just stay up. You’ll make me stay up, until we find a solution to this.”
I can’t help the condescending laugh that vibrates in my chest.
“What?” Her eyes narrow.
“We’ve tried that. Many times. There’s something about your memories being restored to you that is both mentally and physically exhausting.
You can’t help it; eventually, one way or another, you fall asleep.
We’ve tried tonics and tinctures and every method imaginable to keep you awake, and it simply doesn’t work. ”
“Oh.” She sinks further into my bed. “All of those meetings you’ve had lately, do they have to do with the curse?”
“Always so clever.” I smirk. “Yes. The witch who cursed me, her name is Dianthus. She’s been coming for a few visits.” I know she can read the way my shoulders tense, straining against the thin fabric of my shirt as I bring up Dianthus.
“Why?”
“Does it matter? In a matter of hours, you’re going to fall asleep due to exhaustion and forget everything.”
“Then what’s the harm in telling me? Besides, you have my brain for a finite amount of time still. You might as well use it. Don’t you want to break this curse?”
Sky’s Divine, she has no idea how fucking badly I want to break this curse.
“Alright, fine.” I concede. “One of the parameters of the curse is that I only get a certain number of chances to break it before it becomes permanent. Every time you figure out the curse before I can break it, it restarts. We only have two chances left now, and that old crone has been visiting to remind me of this.” Admitting this out loud makes me realize just how much I’m running out of time.
“Although, if we’re being honest, I think there’s another reason she keeps stopping by. ”
“What do you mean?” Azalea prods. I’m partially stunned at how well she’s taking everything I’m throwing at her, but I know I shouldn’t be. Azalea has never been one to back down from a challenge.
“Things have been different with the curse. Certain parameters seem to be weakening, and I think she’s trying to check up on her magic. I’m not sure what could be causing this, but I have a theory that the magic itself is weakening, and she wants to see if I’ve noticed.”
Azalea frowns, thoughtfully tapping her chin with a rounded nail.
“There’s more.” I blow out a breath as Azalea sits up straighter.
“As far as I know, she’s able to change the parameters of the curse however she sees fit whenever she would like.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t in the best head space when I agreed to it, and she took advantage of me.
There are a lot of loopholes and gaps in the wording of the curse that work to her benefit, and that’s one of them. ”
“Is she threatening to change it?”
“No. But that doesn’t mean she won’t. I think if she realizes I’ve noticed her weakening magic, she might try to do something to make things harder for me. So, I’ve been trying to be discreet in my research.”
“And what happens if you don’t break the curse in time?”
“Your memories disappear completely, so you won’t ever be able to remember me or anything about us. And to make it that much more horrendous for me, you heart will also harden toward me. So that no matter what I do, you could never love me again.”
“And we’d stay trapped in the castle.”
I nod, and Azalea’s breath shakes as she blows it through her barely parted lips. She’s quiet as she processes my words.
“So currently, there is a way to break the curse?”
“There’s one small loophole on my side, yes. But believe me, I’ve tried and it’s impossible.”
“Well, what is it?”
I snort and shake my head. “I’m telling you it’s a useless effort.”
She rolls her eyes and huffs. “Braxton, what is it?”
“You have to fall in love with me.”