Chapter 51 Azalea
Azalea
My eyes dance between Braxton’s. I’m still. I should be sprinting away from this castle now that I’ve been given the opportunity. But for whatever reason, I’m frozen.
“M-my family?” The words come out as a barely audible whisper.
Braxton nods curtly, which I take as his way of saying they’ll be fine.
“Braxton…” I have so many things that I want to say, but somehow my brain can’t form a coherent sentence.
“You should pack. It’ll be best for you to leave at first light tomorrow.”
Without another word, Braxton turns on his heel and swiftly exits the library. Doing my best to blink away my confusion, my feet numbly begin pulling me to my room. All the while, my brain is trying to make sense of everything I’d just been told.
Does this mean my curse is lifted? Was I ever truly cursed to begin with, or did I just blindly believe this man for however long I’ve been here? How long have I been here?
My brain refuses to stop asking questions that I’m not sure I’ll ever have the answer to. I blink and I’m suddenly in my room. I blink again, and I watch my fingers begin wrapping around a few random trinkets lining my bookshelf.
What can I pack? What’s mine, and what was given to me?
I turn toward my wardrobe, and my eyes scan over the myriad of dresses squished together inside it. As I contemplate which dresses I should take home, I hear my door burst open.
My feet spin, hope filling my chest. What a stupid fickle thing hope is. Because while I wish to see dark locks falling in front of even darker eyes, I’m met with silken hair cascading in front of mossy green eyes.
“Don’t look so excited to see me.” Rhoden plants her hands on her hips, taking a moment to catch her breath. By the heaving of her chest, it’s abundantly clear that she ran here.
“I’m sorry,” I lamely supply. “I’m assuming you heard.”
“Yes, I heard!” Rhoden strolls in before slapping my shoulder. “How dare you not come and tell me yourself.” She fake glares at me. “I had to hear it from Cynthia, the scullery maid.”
“Who’s Cynthia?” My brow props itself up.
“Exactly!” Rhoden throws her arms in the air. “How did you not come and scream from the rooftops that he’s letting you out of your curse. You’re free!”
My lips tilt in a half-hearted smile. “I guess I am.”
“That’s a very odd face to make in celebration.” Now it’s Rhoden’s turn to give me a quizzical look. “What’s going on in your head?”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… I don’t know if I’m ready to leave.”
“What?” Rhoden’s mouth tips open.
“I know. I know. I want to go home, I do. I miss Phillip.” Even as I say this out loud my words lack conviction. “I miss my father.” This rings more true in the clarity of my tone. “I want to see them. I just… I don’t know.”
“What do you not know?”
“Well, what about you? What about my dresses? Or my books? Or…”
“Your Braxton?” Rhoden offers when I don’t find the courage to finish my thought.
I shake my head. This is ludicrous. He’s somehow driven me past the point of insanity. “This doesn’t make any sense. I should want to leave.”
“What you think you should want and what you truly want very rarely line up.”
“Stop sounding like a wise old crone,” I grumble.
I patter over to the chair in front of my vanity and lean my body against the arm of it, propping myself into a half-sitting, half-standing position.
“I’m just being honest. You should try it.”
I balk at her. “When have I lied to you?”
“I was talking about lying to yourself.”
I curl my lip at Rhoden before closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose.
“I would be insane not to leave.”
“I find sanity to be vastly overrated.”
I peek one of my eyes open and smile at her. From the corner of my room, Luna pads over and tucks her head under my hand.
“What do you think I should do?”
“I wish I could tell you, Zel, but that’s something you need to decide on your own. If it’s any consolation, Braxton told me I could leave with you if you’ll have me.”
I brighten, sitting up straighter. “He did?”
My delight quickly turns to confusion as I try to contemplate why he would do that. I tilt my head to the side, studying the all-knowing expression on Rhoden’s face. Clarity soon drifts into my mind.
“He did that, so I wouldn’t have anything binding me to this castle, and, therefore, wouldn’t have anything to miss.”
Rhoden nods slowly, assuring me that was the same conclusion she came to. I twist my mouth to the side and begin to chew the inside of my cheek.
“Why now? Why has he suddenly transformed from being a monster?”
Rhoden shrugs. “Why now are you willing to see him as more than one?”
Rhoden’s words sink into the very marrow of my bones as I ruminate on them.
“Will you hate me if I stay?”
“I will only hate you if you don’t make this choice for yourself.
Not for Phillip. Not for Braxton. Not for your father.
Not for me. Not even for Luna.” Luna’s ears perk up at the mention of her name.
“No offense, girl.” She settles her head back onto my lap.
“You were cursed here for something you had no control over.” Rhoden’s smile turns blinding. “So take fucking control.”
I’m crazy. I must be. That is the only explanation for why I’m currently raising my fist and pounding on the door to Braxton’s study.
I can hear him shuffling on the other side of the solid oak frame, and with every tiny noise that draws closer and closer to the threshold separating us, my heart pounds heavier in my chest.
When he pulls the door open, he looks partially a mess. The top two buttons of his shirt are undone, his hair is unkempt and falling in front of his face as if he’d been running his fingers through it, and his eyes appear sunken in.
He looks at me beyond his thick lashes, so many questions brimming in his eyes. I decide to answer them in the only way I know how. Bringing myself onto my toes, I seal my lips to his, hoping they can express every word I’m incapable of saying.