14. “Fight For You” - Jason Derulo #2
Henry sits down and pats the spot next to him. “I knew how badly you wanted to get out. This was the best I could come up with.”
I glance around. The ocean is in front of us, dark and rolling.
The sand stretches in both directions, brightened by the light of the moon.
Behind us and scattered along the beach are dark figures I didn’t notice before.
Of course there’s a security team, but for the first time, I don’t care.
If it means I can get some fresh air, they are welcome to watch me all night.
I plop down beside Henry, and he hands me a cup of hot cocoa. “Thank you,” I say. “For all of this.”
He smiles. “What kind of prison warden would I be if I didn’t allow you a little yard time?”
We both stare at the vast expanse in front of us and sip our hot chocolate. The ocean has the power to make me feel very tiny.
“Where did it all come from?” I say into the darkness.
“What, the ocean?”
I jerk a thumb over my shoulder at the chopper sitting somewhere behind us. “The money to do all of this.”
“I told you. I own multiple businesses that do very well.”
“But how did you get started?”
He drops his gaze to his lap and shrugs. “I had some money I wanted to invest.”
“That must have been some allowance.”
A hard laugh slips past his lips. “My father doesn’t believe in money that isn’t earned.”
“That certainly hasn’t slowed you down,” I say.
He murmurs something in agreement.
“Don’t you have any weaknesses?”
He glances over at my legs, which are stretched out in front of me. “Never ask a man what his weakness is.”
“Why? Afraid I’ll expose you?”
“Not all of us are strong enough to reveal them.”
You wouldn’t have to flip over too many stones to discover my weakness, but I don’t think that’s necessarily a sign of strength. It’s just that my soft spot for Henry is so all-encompassing, it only takes a faint brush against the bruise to make it smart.
He pulls a backpack out of the shadows and unzips it to reveal a collection of snacks. “I need sustenance if I’m going to do this.”
“What, play guard dog?”
“Keep my hands to myself.”
“Please.” I blow on my steaming mug. “We both know I present no temptation to you.”
He just laughs and opens a bag of crisps, then offers it to me. I take one, and we munch in silence until I can’t stand it anymore.
“I used to think that maybe I was your weakness,” I mumble. Damn this stupid romantic gesture that isn’t supposed to be the least bit romantic. Three minutes in, I’m already spilling secrets. I can feel Henry’s eyes on me, but there’s no way I’m looking at him now.
“You don’t think so anymore?” He rests his arms on his bent knees.
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “You killed that fantasy a long time ago.”
“Maybe you just misread the situation.”
“Or maybe I’m just a fool.”
His gaze feels soft, like a caressing hand on my cheek. I still don’t look up.
“You’re not a fool, C,” he says quietly.
I swallow, but the lump in my throat only grows bigger. “I thought you were going to be my first kiss that day in the Sunken Garden.”
“Not kissing you was the second-hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
What are we doing out here? This feels like a tightrope over Niagara Falls.
“What was the hardest?” I’m not sure I really want to know.
He drains his cocoa and lets the mug dangle from his fingers. “Leaving you in London.”
This time I can’t help but look at him. He seems completely serious, but I can’t be sure anymore. I’m so tired of this. I’m physically exhausted from the rollercoaster that is loving Henry.
“I don’t know why you say things like that.” Pulling my legs in, I wrap my arms around them, rubbing them to chase away the chill.
“To be honest,” he says, “neither do I.”
“You told me we can’t be together. That you don’t want it.”
“Yeah. I did.”
“But then you say those things. What am I supposed to do with that?”
“I don’t know.” He rubs his hand over his face. “I’m sorry.”
Something suddenly occurs to me. “Are you gay?”
For a minute, I’m scared his eyes are going to pop out of his head. Then he throws his head back and laughs.
My fear changes to irritation. “Haha. So funny,” I mutter.
Henry wipes tears from his eyes before looking at me. “I’m sorry. That was just very . . . unexpected.”
I drain my cocoa. “Glad you found humor in it.”
“Celia, come on. You of all people should know that I am as straight as they come.”
“At this point, I don’t know anything.”
“You know who I am, behind all the facades.”
“I thought I did,” I say. “But you’ve made me question everything.”
“Who I am with you, that’s real.”
“Yeah, the heartbreaker. He’s a real catch.”
Closing his eyes, he rubs the bridge of his nose. “That guy is the one trying to do the right thing.”
“Oh, by hurting me?”
“By protecting you.”
“And just what are you trying to protect me from?”
He scratches at the stubble on his chin. “Myself?”
“Then why,” I say, “when I try to move on, are you always there?”
“Maybe you weren’t wrong about being my weakness.”
Running a finger through the fleece of the blanket, I smooth it in one direction, then another. “If I’m your weakness, you’re stronger than Hercules himself.”
He exhales an amused sigh. “I’ve fallen prey to you many times.”
“So now I’m a predator?”
“More like a siren.”
The heat from his body seeps into mine even though we’re not touching. It’s going to take me a long time to work through everything he’s just said, weed out the lies from the truth—if there’s any truth in it at all.
Standing, he offers me his hand. “We should head back, or we’ll be dead on our feet tomorrow.”
I nod and let him help me up, but he stops me before I can leave the alcove. “It was always supposed to be us, you know.” He brushes the backs of his fingers across my cold cheek. “But sometimes life fucks it up.”