8. Jason
How are there no 24-hour florists? This is L.A., we might not officially be the city that never sleeps, but we sure act like it.
I”m not exactly sure what possessed me to think that I should send Alexis flowers during her night shift, but now I”m frustrated. It doesn”t help that my earlier phone call with Petra felt incredibly unproductive. Basically, her advice was, ”Just lie low for a while, Jason. Soon someone else”s drama will pull their attention away. You know the drill.”
Honestly, this whole situation is just asinine. I”m starting to suspect that I like this remarkable woman but that my celebrity status might scare her off before we get the chance to even see what we could be. And because of that, I”m feeling even more trapped by my life.
I”m not exactly sure when this feeling started. When I was in high school and first realized how little choice I had in my future, I felt apprehensive but hopeful. My parents clearly loved their jobs as actors; they got to fly all over the world for films and festivals. We had the financial security that most families dream about. So what if I didn”t exactly enjoy it? I would grow to love it, be successful like my parents, and it would be fine. But every year, I felt worse, and the last five especially have felt almost unbearable.
What I couldn’t admit to Alexis the other day was that I hated acting. And if I’m being honest with myself, if I couldn’t act again for the rest of my life, I’d be fine. Happy even.
As if she could sense my thoughts, my mother”s ringtone blares through the apartment. What the hell is she doing calling me at one in the morning? I hesitate a beat before sighing and answering; something could be wrong.
“Mom, is everything alright?”
”Hello, dear. And no, nothing”s wrong. Why would you ask that?”
”Well, it”s pretty late here. You usually don”t call me at one a.m.”
“Oh no! I completely forgot about the time difference. I’m so sorry darling, your father and I are in London for a premier, and I wanted to talk to you. Do you want me to call back later?”
And this is why it was so hard to say no to them when they pushed us into acting. My parents genuinely love us and want us to be happy. Sure, they pressured us into acting, but it was because, to them, that was what we did. We were an acting family. And the thought of disappointing them made me feel sick.
“It’s ok, Mom, I was awake anyway. Glad everything is fine. What did you want to talk about?”
“Well, a couple of things.” She pauses, and I immediately know at least one thing she wants to talk about. Fuck me.
”Honey, you know your dad, and I try not to read any gossip mags. They”re nearly all telling lies, and we obviously know to ignore them. But…. Well, this article is about you and a mystery woman. I guess I”m having a hard time understanding what”s real and what isn”t. You two seem pretty cozy in these photos, and I would just be so happy if you were actually dating her. Are you?” Her voice is so hopeful that I almost lie. She has always been my biggest champion when it comes to love and always encouraged me to be open and honest about my feelings in relationships. Seeing me happy with someone would make her day.
But I can”t lie. Because even if I want to try something with Alexis, that”s a discussion we need to have privately before anyone else has a chance to stick their nose in.
”I hate to disappoint you, Mom, but she is just a friend.” If I leave it at that, she might decide the leave things alone.
Knowing my mom, she”ll pretend to leave it alone, then ambush me in a few days with questions. And when that happens, she won”t stop until she has the answers.
I can hear her brain running through possible scenarios from here. She’s exhausting.
”I”ll accept that answer for now because I know you”ll tell me know when you”re ready. But just so you know, I think she”s adorable.”
I roll my eyes, she can’t just leave it alone.
“Good to know, Mom. Thanks for letting me have just a bit of privacy. So, what was the other thing you wanted to talk about?”
Another pause, the phone muffles for a moment, and I can just make out my mom calling for my dad to come into the room. Great. This means it’s serious.
“Ok, I put you on speakerphone so your father can hear. Honey, I ran into Steven last night, and he told us you haven’t signed on for any new projects. That at the moment, you don’t have anything booked. What’s going on? Are you alright?”
I stifle a sigh as best as I can. Of course, my parents would run in to my agent on a random night in London. And, of course,he’d decide to open his mouth. He’s probably hoping my parents will pressure me into picking a project. Fuck this.
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just not feeling the projects he’s brought me recently. Not the right vibe.”
My father jumps in. ”What”s the real reason, son? Money not good enough? Do you need me to talk to some of my buddies and see what roles they have coming down the pipe?”
Shit, they”re not going to drop this. Either I admit I don”t want to act anymore, or I need to pick a project soon.
”Sure, Dad, go ahead and put out feelers. Not exactly sure what I am looking for, I just know what Steven”s gotten me lately just aren”t for me.”
I can’t see them, but I know both my parents are nodding in agreement. Once they both reached stardom, they quickly learned to only take on roles that suited them. Acting is not easy, and you should really want a role if you want to do well. And when you reach the level of my parents, and I guess me, you get to be picky.
I pretend to give a huge yawn, loud enough that they’ll hear me and let me off the hook.
“Sweetheart, you sound tired. I’m sorry we called you so late your time. We’ll hang up, but don’t forget when we get home, I want to chat more about this girl you’re seeing.”
I almost laugh, she will never let this go, I guess.
“No worries, but I need some sleep. Love you guys, enjoy London.”
”Bye, sweetheart. I love you.”
”Goodnight, son.”
They hang up, and it takes all of my self-control to not throw my phone against my wall. I don’t know what to do with my career.
But what I do know is that Alexis and I have a lot to talk about.