Epilogue
Five years later
Alexis
I am positively giddy right now as I walk through the front entrance of our house, Slinky doing her best to trip me as I remove my shoes. Even in her old age, she wants constant attention. We bought this sweet little bungalow three years ago after my parents officially announced they were done traveling and ready to settle into retirement. These last few years haven’t been easy. But they’ve been full of love and laughter, and I couldn”t be happier.
Jason”s writing career didn”t go exactly as we thought. The first script he wrote was optioned and made into a movie. It was a hit, but he couldn”t find traction when he tried again. Not a lot of companies want to take a chance on romcoms if they don”t prove themselves in the reading market first. So, at my gentle prodding, he turned the script into a novel. And let me tell ya, the romance reading community loves him. I mean, who wouldn’t? After writing two more books, he decided to try a different genre and is currently working on his first Sci-Fi. I can’t wait to read it.
My career has progressed beautifully. I”m still at the same hospital in the ER, and I think I”m about to be offered Dr. Jordan”s job. She let it slip last month that she”s retiring and put me up for the promotion. Jason thinks I have it in the bag. I”m keeping my fingers crossed.
I also record a podcast on weekends with a group of other women doctors from various fields. We were first brought together for a panel at a conference and were a hit. And within a month, we”d joined forces to make the podcast. We primarily focus on answering the public”s questions about their health concerns, but also discuss current events in the medical field and how public policy affects medicine. At this point, I”m now more likely to get recognized on the street than my dear husband. Something I never expected, but Jason thinks it”s hilarious.
A year into our marriage, we decided we were ready to try getting pregnant. I was getting nervous since my mom struggled so much and worried I would too. And as it turns out, I wasn”t wrong. After two miscarriages, and dozens of negative tests, Jason already wanted to stop trying. He was so ready to be a father, and each disappointment weighed heavily on him. We decided to take a break from actively trying, no more charts or thermometers, and if after a year, we still weren”t pregnant, we”d look into IVF. That was six months ago, and I”m currently five months pregnant.
He has no idea.
Honestly, I’m starting to show a bit and have been feeling crummy for months. The man is an idiot sometimes. But he’s my idiot.
When I step out into our backyard, he”s on a picnic blanket with Charlotte and Zachary, our niblings. They”re three now, and we love having them over for visits.
”Auntie Yexi! Auntie Yexi! You”re back!” They pop up and charge for my legs, nearly taking me out. I love they still can”t say their L”s yet. It will be a sad day when I become Auntie Lexi instead of Auntie Yexi. Maybe they”ll never grow out of it?
”Hey, you little monsters, let your aunt sit down. Don”t knock her over.” I smile down at my gorgeous husband. Even after four years, it”s still a shock to say I”m married to Jason Adams. He has gained a little gray at his temples this year, and I”m obsessed. As I settle onto the blanket, I buss him a kiss on the cheek. Before he can take it further, I pull back and bring out the bag I brought out.
“Charlotte, Zach, I have a little present for you both.”
”Presents? YES!” Both jump up and down, aggressively yelling and punching the air. Three-year-old”s, man, they”re something else.
”Alright, please sit down while I give you your gift, and make sure to hold yours up high so Uncle Jay can see them.” They nod, immediately plopping onto the blanket. I hand them their matching tie-dye shirts, biting my lip as they unfold and hold them up. Zach”s is upside down, but you can still read what”s printed there.
#1 COUSIN
I glance over at Jason, and he looks confused. Oh, my sweet husband, sometimes he’s clueless. So, I pull out another shirt and hand it to him.
”Here, I got you one too.” I”m barely keeping a huge smile off my face as he opens it up and stares at it. Like the twins”, it says #1 DAD.
After a beat, I realize he”s still staring. So, I pull out my last clue. I sit up and unzip my hoodie, revealing my matching shirt that says, you guessed it: #1 MOM.
He stares at my shirt, then at my face, then back at his shirt, then back at my face. I can’t stop the tears that are starting to spill over.
“Does this?” He chokes up, tears filling his eyes. “Does this mean you’re pregnant?”
”Yes, baby, I am. And I waited a long, long time to tell you. I just had a doctor”s appointment, I”m five months along, and the baby is doing great. She”s confident we”ll have a healthy baby in a few months.” I smile and put my hand on my softly swelling stomach.
”We”re going to be parents!” He laughs, pulling me against his body, lips in my hair, hand instantly covering mine. ”Babe, we”re going to be parents!”
“I know!” We’re both smiling at each other, hands on my belly, completely ignoring the two toddlers now running around screaming that they’re going to be cousins. Nothing could make this day more perfect.
***
Four months later
Jason
I”m doing everything I can to not cry right now. I”m in a hospital lounger, my sweet baby girl on my chest, doing some skin-to-skin time with papa while Alexis dozes next to us in the bed. We”re both exhausted after twenty-five hours of labor, but now we have our sweet girl, and it was all worth it.
Fuck, it was so hard seeing Alexis in so much pain. I hate that I could barely do anything for her. At one point, I think I told her we were done with one baby; I won”t do that to her again. And she fucking laughed and said, ”Yeah, we”ll see about that.” Is she crazy?
But when I look at this little human we created, I think maybe she’s right. I’m not sure how I could love her any more than I did when she was just a peanut in the womb, but now that she’s here, I feel like my heart is about to explode out of my chest.
“When we get home,” I tell her quietly, hoping I don’t wake Alexis. “Your best friend, Slinky, will be so happy to meet you. She’s been keeping your bassinet nice and warm for you.” I gently run a finger down her downy cheek, finding it hard to swallow. This love is overwhelming.
Our little girl begins to stir, making sweet baby noises and nuzzling. Her eyes are still closed, but her mouth is pursed; I think she might be ready to try the boob again. I read somewhere that fathers can use their own nipples to soothe their babies if mom isn”t around, and even though I know it would be completely natural, I can”t quite make myself do it. She begins to squawk, and I quickly stand up, cradling her while gently waking Alexis. As much as I wish I could let her just sleep, we need to try again to feed her.
”Is she looking for the boob?” Her voice is rough and groggy, but she”s already reaching for our baby. First, I have her sit forward, so I can scoot in behind her, careful not to jostle her too much. Once Alexis” back is settled comfortably against my chest, I help her undo the hooks of her maternity dress.
We tried nursing a few hours ago but struggled. Baby didn”t quite latch, and it was painful for Alexis. Nobody truly prepares you for how helpless you”ll feel when your baby doesn”t feed right away. Newborns can go way longer than you would expect, designed to handle not nursing if things aren”t perfect. But every new parent thinks it won”t be them until it is. It”s terrifying.
But this time, after a few misses, the baby latches comfortably and begins nursing with abandon. Her tiny little fist opening and closing softly against Alexis’ chest.
We both stare down at her in awe; she”s so perfect. I kiss Alexis” hairline, smoothing back the strands. She sighs, relaxing into me even more.
“We really need to name her.”
I laugh. We”ve been saying that for hours now. Every name option we had prepared over these last few months just wasn”t right. And now we”re scrambling. ”I know. How about I”ll just start listing names, and you just tell me when we get to one you like?”
“Hmmm, seems like a faulty system, but sure.”
“Margaret.”
“No, too close to Martha. And don’t you dare suggest anything close to my mom’s name. Not happening.”
Ok.
“Esther.”
“No. Come on, she’s not ninety.”
“Ava?”
“No.”
“Lauren?”
“No.”
“Selene?”
“No.”
Rebecca?”
“No.”
“Brexley.”
“What are we, granola people?”
”Man, you”re tough. Let me think.” I pretend to mull it over when in reality, I”ve had the perfect name saved for months.
“Ok, I have one. What about Willa?”
She pauses, running a finger across our baby’s perfect little brow.
”Is that it, sweet girl? Is your name Willa?” Our baby slowly blinks her eyes open, seemingly looking right at us as if to say yeah, that’s me.
”Willa, it is then.” I kiss Alexis on the cheek again, then sweep my hand over Willa”s baby head, readjusting her tiny newborn hat. She”s so soft and warm; I want to cry every time I look at her.
”What about her last name? We never really talked about it.” Honestly, I haven”t really thought about it myself. I”ve been so focused on just making sure Alexis and Willa were healthy that it didn”t cross my mind that we should probably decide on a last name. When we got married, neither of us changed our names. Alexis had all her doctor licensure under Masters, and I had been building a name for myself in the romance genre. Neither of us wanted to go through the hassle of changing things. So we didn”t. But now we have a kid.
”I kind of hate our names hyphenated. Adams-Masters or Masters-Adams. They just sound weird. And long.” I nod. I completely agree. Then it hits me. The perfect solution.
“What if we make her middle name Adams and her last name Masters?”
Alexis turns, careful not to jostle the nursing baby but still trying to see my face. “Are you serious? It won’t bother you to not have the same last name?”
“Nah, we’ll still share a name, even if it’s her middle one. Plus, if she grows up and wants to, she can always change it.” Honestly, all I care about right now is that both my girls are healthy.
“Ok, but if you change your mind…”
“I won’t.”
We sit there for a bit, watching our baby.
“I love you.”
“And I love you.”
We sit together in silence, watching Willa nurse, cocooned in a bubble of love and safety. Eventually, Alexis and Willa drift off to sleep, and I just keep holding them, feeling like the luckiest man in the world.