Chapter 25 – Zaide
CHAPTER 25
ZAIDE
W e stayed in the main house since the cabin was too small for us and the food and bathrooms facilities in the main house were more suited for us to clean up and rest after our dip in the river.
Charlie rubbed his hair with a towel as he sloped into the living room, saying, “Pizza’s in the oven,” while I combed Clawdia’s hair. He pecked a kiss on her forehead as he sat down next to her.
“Good. I’m starving,” Clawdia said with an excited wiggle, causing the hair I gathered from her scalp to slip through my fingers as I braided her hair into two thick ropes.
“You worked up an appetite.” Charlie winked and rubbed her thigh before looking over at me. “You good?”
I nodded and Clawdia turned her head to look at me too, just as I tied the band around the last braid. Her violet eyes scanned my face before she took the brush and patted my leg, indicating for me to turn around, which I did, and she started gently dragging the bristles through my wet hair.
I shuddered at the calming touch and she said, “You’re being very quiet, my love. You can talk to us, you know.”
“I know. I think I need more time. I just feel … numb.” My emotions felt distant from me and I still hadn’t processed the past few hours. So much had happened.
“Take as much time as you need, mate,” Charlie mumbled. “We’re here when you want to let it out.”
“No punching trees this time,” Clawdia scolded playfully, and I laughed at the memory. No, I had better ways to express myself now.
Baelen joined us, dressed in Charlie’s clothes, his hair curling at the bottom as it dried, as Clawdia’s fingers deftly braided my hair. “Ah, I have the finishing piece,” he announced and turned on his heel, heading back up the stairs.
“Finishing piece to what?” Charlie voiced my question.
Baelen returned to the room with his fist closed around something. He turned over his hand and opened his fingers to reveal my prayer stone on his palm. I made a choked sound as I picked it up and stroked the engraved names of my gods.
I felt lost without it, abandoned by my gods and without the comfort of touching the familiar object which saw me through years of slavery. But it was in my hands again. Returned to me. And the distant emotions I’d felt came flooding to the surface.
Baelen blurred as I stared at him with teary eyes. “Thank you for returning it to me.”
“I’m sorry it wasn’t with you when you needed it most.”
Charlie nudged Clawdia, and they left the room, heading into the kitchen and making noise as they pulled things from the cupboards.
Baelen crouched and his red eyes swirled hypnotically as he said, “I should have fought harder against the shadow to save you. You saved me from those shots. You sacrificed yourself and lost your stone because of me. I can’t punish myself in a way that wouldn’t hurt you all too, but I promise we will get revenge for the pain the hunters have inflicted on you. We’ll burn their organization to the ground.”
His hand squeezed mine, and I nodded, unable to speak. I didn’t want him to punish himself. He shouldn’t be punished because he’d been possessed. But I didn’t have the word to assure him yet. Pain, sorrow and anger fought for supremacy inside me and I shook as I took calming breaths and looked deep into his eyes. I believed him.
I knew he would seek revenge for me, and a dark corner of my soul rejoiced at that. Being completely dehumanized, thought of as only an experiment and tortured, damaged something inside of me, or perhaps it reopened a wound I thought has healed.
A tear slipped from my eye and Baelen caught it with his thumb, gently brushing it away. “You can be weak with me. I want to be your support.”
“You are.” My voice cracked, and I allowed myself to feel all the emotions battering me for a way out. I gasped as the tears flowed freely and my soul mate wrapped me in his arms.
When I could cry no more, I lifted my head from his chest and he stared at me with somber eyes. “Do you feel better?”
“Not really.” But I sat up, wiped my eyes and tied my stone back on the end of my braid as it had before. “I know it’s probably ridiculous to you considering they are your fathers—”
He interrupted, with a shake of his head, “I’ve seen faith give hope to the most troubled souls. They might be my fathers and we might have our differences, but it doesn’t mean I don’t acknowledge their existence and their power offers comfort to many. Maybe one day you won’t need to hold the stone for support, but I won’t be the male to take that from you before you’re ready.”
“Your hair needs to be combed,” I told him, my voice stronger as I distracted myself with the task. “Turn around and let me do it.”
Baelen sat on the floor, his back against my legs as I picked up the brush and pulled it through his hair, curling the ends around the handle of the brush so the curls were smoother.
“Pizza’s ready,” Charlie called and both he and Clawdia entered the room, their hands full of plates and glasses which they placed on the small table in front of the television.
Clawdia smiled at Baelen and stroked the curl, sitting neatly on his shoulder. “I’ve never seen it look so shiny.”
“Dralie approves, reckons he can also hide you in the rusted gold pile of his hoard,” Charlie said as he added slices to a plate before handing it over to me. I took it, confused but also pleased that he was doting on me. He didn’t like to show his emotions, but he cared. I was upset, and I nodded my thanks.
Clawdia kissed me before she sat down next to me, her plate in her lap, and started eating. Charlie stroked her leg with one hand while devouring a pizza slice with the other, and Baelen kissed her calf as he watched the TV.
He didn’t show his fascination with the device like Savida and I had the first time we watched something at Charlie’s house, but I could tell he was impressed.
With every bite of my pizza, I offered another to Clawdia, and she took it, allowing me to take care of her and giving me a sense of calm, normalcy, and control. We were so in tune with one another. She gave me exactly what I needed without me having to ask for it, which is how I knew there was a storm brewing inside her that would no longer be pushed aside.
A storm of pain because she had taken a life.
“Dralie wants to hoard gold?” Baelen asked once Charlie slowed down from inhaling his food.
“I think if Clawdia told him she wanted pears, he’d fill my house full of every variety of pear across the realms, including things that taste like pear but doesn’t look like a pear.” He tilted his head, nodded, and Clawdia laughed as she also heard what the dragon replied. “He’s besotted. It’s disgusting.”
“So he’s not set on the gold, just looking for something that he can guard for Clawdia?” Baelen asked, and Charlie nodded as he chewed. “What about golden apples?”
Charlie swallowed. “What about them?”
“Perhaps Dralie would like to be the keeper of the golden apples on Tartarus.” Baelen suggested. “They are golden and many of the orchards are dying without titans to care for them, and many other have been ransacked. The fruit is a symbol of the titans and at the moment, it is fading into history.”
“Oh, no.” Clawdia gasped. “They are so beautiful in the dreamscape. They aren’t like that anymore?”
“The trees around the palace seem to survive on the power of my fathers, but that dwindles, too. Eventually they will die.” Baelen stroked her leg as he explained.
I asked, “How can he hoard the apples when we’ll be traveling? And shouldn’t a hoard be somewhere inaccessible to others?”
Charlie shook his head. “He’ll make it work. He’d like a job to feel part of the team and he’s pretty flexible on the hoard. He doesn’t want to be like other dragons. He thanks you for the suggestion.”
“Thank you, Dralie. This will help our efforts to restore Tartarus to its former glory,” Baelen said.
Clawdia smiled so widely and she squeezed my hand as happiness bubbled from her across our bond, but then a line formed between her brow as she frowned and turned to Charlie. “Are you all right with that?”
“What do you mean?” Charlie asked.
“I mean, we’ve just assumed that we are going to settle in Tartarus, but I haven’t asked you if you’re all right with that. You have a home here, in this realm. You won’t be able to hack anymore or use technology, no TV, it’s a huge change. Will that bother you?”
Charlie scoffed. “Fuck my house. Yeah, I might miss my phone and technology, but I think there’s something in magic tech that I really want to look into.”
“But you said you missed hacking earlier.”
He shrugged. “I’ll find another way to get the same rush. It won’t ruin my life.”
Clawdia sighed, relaxing into the cushions as she patted his leg. “I’m so glad. I know you enjoy it, but it’s always worried me you are going to get into trouble or be arrested.”
He blinked and shook his head. “Wait? What? You think I’m hacking illegally.”
“Is there a way to legally hack?” Clawdia asked slowly.
“Yes. And I’ve been doing it ever since you’ve been reborn. I stopped doing illegal stuff a while ago.” He laughed. “You thought I was courting arrest in my onesie at home?”
She stammered, and a blush colored her cheeks. “I just assumed … Winnie, and I figured out what you were doing and we didn’t know that there was a legal option.”
“Companies ask me to break into their systems and I send them a report on what things they need to fix to prevent me from getting in. But it’s really not thrilling.” He explained. Not that it helped my understanding. Human technology was a magic I’d yet to comprehend. Charlie glanced at me and pulled a face before saying, “Hence why I let aliens come to my house and agreed to take them around the world.”
“We don’t like the term aliens.” I replied with a small smile at the memory. We've come so far since then.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re otherworlders. And apparently, so am I. Who would have thought?” He chuckled and picked up Clawdia’s hand. “You’ve seen all the gross things I’ve done when I thought I was alone. You thought I was a bad guy, hacking illegally and breaking hearts, and yet you still loved me.”
“I’m a wonder,” she replied simply with a small shrug and a coy smile.
He returned that smile. “I do hear that.”
I squeezed her hand. “Our little cat has a heart big enough to love you, your disgusting habits, and us too.”
“Like you’re so perfect,” Charlie muttered and rolled his eyes.
“Your nightly wind has previously singed the hair from my brows. Thankfully, I grew them back in captivity.” I waggled them for emphasis, and everyone laughed softly.
Charlie pouted playfully and replied, “Fair point, but I can’t help what I do in my sleep.”
Clawdia pecked his cheek. “I do love you. Warts, nightly wind and all.”
He pointed a finger at her face and waggled it. “That’s hunter propaganda against witches, and I won’t stand to hear it in my relationship.”
She laughed, the sound like a warm light in the darkness, and we all relished in it. I leaned into the goodness of being together, hearing the breaths, feeling their warmth and the bonds between us buzz with energy and bounce with joy.
Clawdia combed her fingers through Baelen’s hair, but he didn’t turn around. His focus was on the screen.
“When we were in the compound, how did you make us invisible?” She asked Baelen.
He sighed and rested his head on her knee. “I went to Ombra to get my ring back from Kaatu.”
Her hands stilled, and her violet eyes turned dark with anger. “He stole your ring? After everything he did to you?” She asked incredulously. “And you went to see him?”
“I did,” Baelen replied and turned to face her, his expression neutral.
She stroked his face, and he nuzzled into it as she said softly, “That was so brave. Are you all right?”
“I … didn’t enjoy the visit.” He let out a huff of frustration. “Kaatu can rankle me in more than one way and he knows it, which infuriates me. But he gave me my ring, and a favor then offered Savida and Daithi work as educators in the realms for the shadow people who haven’t ever traveled before.”
“I’m proud of you,” she told him and kissed his forehead that left him with an amusing bemused expression.
I enjoy seeing her ruin us with simple acts of affection.
“A favor from the Shadow King may come in useful. It’s good that you could also negotiate that,” I told him.
“Daithi didn’t take his hand off accepting that offer?” Charlie asked, and I gave him a pointed look, which he returned when Baelen replied.
“He almost did. Savida stopped him.”
“I told you. Opportunist.” Charlie shook his head. “What did the hunters say? Michael and his friend.”
“Jack. They are going to rejoin the hunters. The trust in Fafnir is broken, so who knows what will happen, but they’ve made their decision and we did our best to help. We can’t do any more.”
“Stupid.” Charlie muttered and then nudged Baelen. “How did your ring turn everyone invisible? Did you know it could do that?”
“I didn’t. But thankfully, anything that touched it turned invisible too.”
We were quiet for a moment, just enjoying each other and feeling grateful as the television continued to blare nonsense. I turned my attention to the window and watched the moon illuminate the lake as it rose higher in the night’s sky. It was beautiful and calming.
Charlie broke the spell of peace as he asked in a low, soft voice. “You ready to talk about it, Clawdicat?”
My soul pair looked startled and then stammered, “I don’t … I’m not … I haven’t …”
“Take a breath,” Baelen instructed, and she gasped as though his words unlocked her ability. “Now, tell us what is poisoning your heart.”
“I killed Mary.” She blurted, tears welling in her eyes as her breath caught. “I’m not sorry she’s dead, but I am ashamed and angry that it was me who took her life. I’m just as bad as she is now. Winnie would be ashamed of me. I’m going to hell.”
“Ah, the old religious guilt is coming back to bite you.” Charlie nodded and rubbed her knee comfortingly. “I thought you abandoned God when He abandoned you?”
She gave a single shoulder shrug and muttered, “It’s not so easily forgotten.”
“Hell is a myth based on Tartarus.” Charlie claimed, but I wasn’t sure how true that was. “In which case you are going to Hell. Eventually.”
“Charlie, logic isn’t helpful right now.” She cried, “I understand you’re trying to help, but you can’t logic me out of feeling my feelings.”
“Fair point,” he muttered and rubbed the back of his neck.
Glaring at him from over my sobbing soul pair, I gathered her into my arms and held her tightly against my body. “Little cat, you are right to feel as you do. But don’t cry for the monster who killed your witch. Cry for yourself because there is a darkened smudge on your soul.” Her lip trembled, and a tear escaped her closed eyes. I wiped it away. “But your soul and mine are one and the same and I know we are not bad people because we have taken lives. We simply did what was necessary to survive.”
She played with the ends of my hair, curling it around her finger and brushing it over her skin as she considered my words.
Baelen agreed. “She would have killed you. Happily handed you over to your enemy. She taunted you. You did as you must.”
“I just feel so awful.”
I nodded. “You will. But eventually you will not. Stay positive, little cat. Things will get better.”
“Will they? Because you were captured and tortured, Charlie turned into a dragon, I killed a person and Baelen had to face the shadow who possessed him, and yet worse, things keep happening.” Her hands waved wildly as she exclaimed, “There’s another dragon now? How do we deal with that? Who was it?”
“Not to mention what happened to Laurence, poor bastard,” Charlie added unhelpfully.
Which reminded me … "Fafnir thought Laurence was the other dragon, which is why he attacked him," I told them.
“So presumably he knows it’s me now?” Charlie sighed.
“I would assume so.”
“But there’s a third dragon under Fafnir’s control?” Clawdia asked.
“I’m not sure about that.” Charlie said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Something doesn’t feel right and Dralie keeps hissing about him being an abomination. Am I the only one who thinks it looks identical to Fafnir’s dragon form?”
“It looks like him, but maybe that’s because it’s one of his relatives?” Clawdia suggested.
Charlie replied. “Me and Dralie don’t look like him. We’re gold.”
But with more questions than answers, Clawdia playfully asked, “Why do you think that is?”
“What do you mean?” Charlie asked, confused.
“Were you feeling left out?” She raised an eyebrow. “Zaide’s golden. I have blond hair. Did you just want to match us?”
“Oh sure, Clawdia, that’s exactly it.” He rolled his eyes but smiled.
Clawdia laughed softly and curled sleepily into me, but as her finger swirled softly against my chest, I knew she was awake. “It’s late. We should go to bed.”
She was right, but going to bed meant waking up, all too soon, to a new set of challenges along our journey.
“Are we going back to the task team tomorrow?” I asked.
Charlie exchanged a look with Baelen and then nodded. “I think that’s the best. We need a plan to shut down the compound and the hunters before they can recover. And find out what’s going on with the other dragon.”
“Thank you for giving me, us, this time.” Clawdia said softly. “I really needed it to just be us.”
“I think you should thank Dralie for that,” Baelen replied dryly, as he stood up from his place on the floor with athletic ease.
She giggled sleepily and whispered, “thank you, Dralie.”
She needn’t have thanked us since we also appreciated the time away and time together but her sweet nature only made us love her more and we all stared at her for a moment, full of admiration and love, as her eyelids blinked heavily and sleep called to her.
I carried her up to bed, and she was snoring softly before I covered her in the blanket. I snuggled in next to her, breathing in her scent and thanking my gods once again as Baelen and Charlie also joined us. Despite my exhaustion, I watched her, and when her eyes flickered beneath her lids and her breathing increased, I stroked her arm to reassure her, even in her nightmares, that I was with her, and I wouldn’t let us be parted again.