Chapter 5 #2
Charlotte has switched from her full bridal gown into a sleek white silk, floor-trailing dress. She’s let down her hair and added some even more sparkly jewels around her wrists and in her ears. She looks great as she enters the room on her new husband’s arm.
Close behind the happy couple come my sister and Joshua, both dressed in their finery.
I have to admit, they look impressive. Smart, expensive, polished and slick.
They look good together. I click once, twice, three times at the lady, then I blow a kiss to Livy.
She may be monosyllabic with me at the moment but I’d still do anything for her.
In fact, no one from the hen party has really bothered to speak with me much today. Maybe it’s the shame of that kiss. Perhaps it’s the gingham mid-length orange dress and trainers I’m wearing that’s not a patch on the finery being worn today.
The only two people who haven’t snubbed me from the hen are the older ladies, Donna and Jeanette, the bride’s mum and aunt.
The room is filling with people as Guy sings Al Green’s ‘Let’s Stay Together’. Unbelievably, he can pull this off, too, and, miserable or not, he looks bloody hot doing it. His black suit and tie are now notably Chantilly free.
‘Yes! I’m telling you, it’s true. More than one person from the hen party has confirmed it.
’ Three female evening guests have taken up seats at the table right in front of me.
They’re leaning in towards each other, hands indiscreetly hiding mouths as they gossip.
‘She snogged the butler in front of everyone. No one saw them go home together but by the sound of things, they definitely did.’
Oh God! People are gossiping about me. Me and Guy. And now Guy is here. And Guy is…
‘Oh my God, Char!’ I trip over the leg of a chair, leaning on a table and sloshing water out of the centre piece as I look up to see another guest, about my age, screaming at the bride. ‘Is that really Guy Walker?’
Charlotte glances to Guy, who seems oblivious to the commotion as he continues to sing, then Dave is near her and holding out his hands in a way that makes me think he’s telling her, Happy Wedding Day!
When Charlotte booked Dave’s company, she couldn’t have known she’d contracted for Guy Walker to be her wedding singer. She couldn’t have known because last year, when she booked this, Guy didn’t work for Dave’s company.
Charlotte’s mouth forms a really big, wide, red-painted O. ‘I guess it is,’ she says.
I don’t know why my legs are walking me in the direction of the commotion but that’s where I’m headed.
‘Give us one from The Hand Me Downs, Guy,’ a man calls towards the stage.
‘Sorry, mate, I’ve got a playlist to stick to,’ Guy says.
‘No, please, I’d love it!’ Charlotte calls to him, making her way onto the dance floor.
Guy looks genuinely… panicked? He’s shaking his head. ‘I can’t. I’m just here to sing the list.’
‘Pleeeeeeeease!’ another woman calls.
‘I can’t.’ Guy is holding out his arms and looking at Dave, who’s stepping onto the stage and saying something into his ear. Guy is saying no, and getting aggravated about it. As if he’s terrified of being up there, of singing one of his own songs.
I don’t like it. The situation he’s being put in, in front of all these people. I don’t know what I can do about it but I’m moving towards him and Dave, the stage.
The music has stopped and it’s clear for everyone of reasonable hearing in the room that one of the bridesmaids shouts, ‘Isn’t he the naked butler?’
I watch Guy metaphorically go inside himself. He’s shaved today, where he had a thick beard on the night of the hen, but to me, and clearly this bridesmaid, he’s recognisable for both performances.
Despite the fact he’s cranky and obnoxious, I really feel for the man holding the microphone. As I’m thinking that, the groom charges onto the dance floor, making a beeline for his new wife. ‘You snogged the naked butler on your hen night?’ he yells at Charlotte.
Ohhhhhhhhh sugar.
‘What?’ Charlotte asks, appropriately aghast. ‘I did no such thing!’
‘Really? Then why is every woman at the bar gossiping about you snogging the butler and wondering whether—’ He shakes his head, walking in a circle like he’s a dog chasing his tail, throwing his arms into the air. ‘Did you sleep with him?’
‘You slept with Guy Walker?’ someone asks Charlotte from behind me.
‘I didn’t sleep with anyone. Jesus, Mark, it’s our wedding day!’
‘Whoa, mate, I served your missus a drink and that’s it.’ Guy steps off the stage and stands between the arguing couple.
I recoil before it even happens, as I see Mark rear his fist and slam it into Guy’s left eye.
‘Guy!’ I call as Dave and I run towards him, helping him sit up from the floor.
‘Fuck,’ Guy is saying, rubbing his cheek around the eye socket.
‘That’s gonna be a nice shiner, matey,’ Dave says. ‘It’ll not be the first time you’ve been hit over a lass, though.’
‘I’m so sorry, Guy, this is all my fault,’ I tell him.
He turns from Dave to look at me and says, ‘I wouldn’t mind if I’d actually got a shag out of it.’
As I gasp, I think I see, for the first time ever, Guy’s lips curve up. It’s slight and barely there. Blink and you’d miss it. But it makes me scowl back, playfully. ‘You should be so lucky,’ I whisper.
‘Come on, charmer, you’ve got a night of entertainment to give this lot yet,’ Dave says as we help Guy up to stand.
‘I can’t even believe you’d think that, for a second,’ Charlotte is saying behind us.
‘Baby, I’m so sorry. I’m just drunk and emotional.
People were saying things in the bar and I— I’m so scared of losing you, Char.
’ The groom is crying, sobbing, like the aunt that drinks far too much gin at the family Christmas party.
It would be almost cute if the whole thing wasn’t so pathetic.
From the angry confrontation to the ape-like aggression, to the mess he is right now.
Fortunately, Charlotte isn’t quite so offput as I am by the show. She holds out her arms and welcomes him into an embrace. ‘I just married you, didn’t I, silly?’
Wow, she’s forgiving, much more so than I would be with three hundred or more guests staring at me.
‘Wait, if Charlotte didn’t snog you, who did?’ someone asks Guy, who’s now holding ice against his eye at my side.