15
“You’re what?” Gage blinks, trying to process what I’ve just told him.
“You’re leaving?” Della asks, sadness filling her eyes, looking to Ree for support.
I wanted to tell them all together, so once I’d packed my suitcase I told them all to meet me in the living room.
I knew breaking the news of my sudden departure would come as a shock, but Gage has to understand that I need this—my breakdown earlier proved as much. It was the moment I realised I couldn’t carry on like I have been and that things needed to change.
I need to get away and try to heal my open wounds, but it’s not the ones on my body that I’m worried about. It’s the ones on the inside, the ones scorched in my soul and imprinted on my mind.
My talk with Alec is something I didn’t realise I needed, and talking about my feelings actually felt pretty good. Maybe there’s something to this talking thing after all.
“I need a break, Gage. I need space. Away from this house, hell away from this city.”
“And away from your family,” he snaps with a shake of his head.
I roll my eyes. “I knew you’d be like this.”
“Because it’s a stupid idea, Si. You need your friends and your family around you, to support you.”
“You have no idea what I need, Gage, because you weren’t the one who was raped, repeatedly. I was.”
His mouth snaps shut.
“Maybe it’s not such a bad idea, bro,” Rafe adds, trying to dampen the atmosphere in the room.
“Please try to see it from my perspective. I’m not getting any better by staying here, in fact I’m getting worse. I need a change of scenery, somewhere I can try to get my head straight and be normal again, please don’t deny me that.”
“I just want what’s best for you.”
“Do you really want to go there?” I could say more, especially in regards to what he considers is best for me, but I’m not in the mood to fight. “There’s only one person who knows what’s best for me, and that’s me. You don’t have to worry, I’ll be fine. Alec won’t let anything happen to me.”
He frowns. “Alec’s going?”
Why is he so surprised?“Of course he is. You made him my shadow, right? Why wouldn’t he be coming? Besides, it’s his place in Maine we’re going to.”
He thinks on it for a moment before finally nodding. “Alright, if it’s what you really want.”
I lift my chin. “It is.”
“Then I’m not going to stand in your way. I just want you to be happy, and if that’s not here then… I’ve just got to deal with it.”
“I’m gonna go say goodbye to Ivy real quick.”
“I’ll carry your bags outside,” Gage says.
Rafe jumps up and grabs one of my bags. “I’ll help.”
The two of them take my bags through the foyer and out the front door as I make my way upstairs towards my niece’s room.
She’s sat cross-legged in the middle of her bed, her eyes lighting up when she sees me. “Auntie Si!”
“Hey, munchkin. You okay?”
“Uh-huh! You come to play with me?” she asks and my heart squeezes.
“Not today, sweetheart. You see, I’m going away for a little while and I wanted to say goodbye.”
Her lips turn down as her chin begins to wobble. “You’re leaving? But you just got back.”
“I know, I’m so sorry, Ives. The thing is, I’m not very well right now and I need to go away so I can get better,” I explain.
A tear slides down her cheek. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too, so much. But we can Face Time all the time, okay?”
“Okay,” she says sadly.
“Here,” I unclasp my necklace and place it around Ivy’s neck, “this was left to me by my mom when she died. Will you keep it safe for me until I get back? By you having it, we’ll never really be apart.”
It’s a small amethyst pendant surrounded by tiny diamonds. It was a gift to my mom from my dad for one of her birthdays not long after they met. She never took it off.
Ivy nods eagerly. “I’ll look after it real good, pinky swear!”
“Good girl. Come here,” I open my arms and she climbs into my lap, wrapping her little arms around me. I hold her tight, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, her dark raven hair the same colour as mine. “I love you, Ivy.”
“Loves you too, Auntie.”
Heading back downstairs, I meet my brothers, Reese and Della, just as Alec strides across the driveway, his duffel bag slung over his shoulder.
One of my brother’s SUVs is parked out front with the engine running. I’m guessing because it’s fitted with a tracking device, it’s his way of making sure I’m safe, even if he can’t be there in person.
Alec tosses his bag into the trunk before closing it, giving me a warm smile. “You ready?”
“Absolutely,” I reply.
“Alec, can I have a word?” Gage asks before leading him away so they’re out of earshot.
“You take care of yourself, little Hudson.” Rafe extends his hand out to me and I take it.
“I will, I promise.”
“We’re going to miss you so much.” Reese goes in to give me a hug but hesitates.
“It’s okay.” I open my arms and she crashes into me, hugging me tight. We part to allow Della room to squeeze in too. “I love you guys, you know that? You’re my best friends, my family. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have the two of you.”
“Shut up before you make me cry,” Della says, her eyes welling with tears, making Ree and I laugh.
“I’ll call you, okay?”
“We’ll hold you to that,” Reese says. “But promise us one thing, despite everything that’s happened, don’t close yourself off from that beautiful man over there. He adores you, anyone can see that and I think he’d sooner die than ever hurt you.”
My eyes find Alec over her shoulder to see his eyes fixed firmly on mine while Gage talks to him, though I’m sure Alec’s not hearing a word considering his focus is elsewhere.
My cheeks heat under his gaze.
The girls pull away just as Alec and Gage head back towards us.
Gage sighs heavily, stopping in front of me. “I’m not going to change your mind about this, am I?”
“Not a chance.”
He chuckles. “This family and their stubbornness…”
“And pig-headedness and overprotectiveness…” I trail off, smiling softly.
He touches my arm lightly. “Be safe, sis. You know where we are if you need us.”
“I know.” I give the four of them a wave before heading for the car, where Alec is waiting by the open passenger door.
After I’m in, he shuts it behind me and circles the hood and climbs in his side.
“You sure about this?” he asks, his eyes searching my face for any sign of a second thought.
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
He shifts gear and we pull out of the long driveway, the front gates swinging open to allow us on our journey.
And I have no doubt it’s going to be one to remember.