18
“You make such a pretty fucking whore, bitch. And we’re gonna use you like one, too…”
Austin’s cruel words have my eyes snapping open as I blink against the dark. I fumble for the lamp on the table beside the bed and my heart steadies when the room is flooded with a soft, orange glow.
It’s okay… Just a dream. I’m alone,I reassure myself.
I swing my legs out of bed and rub my eyes.
I’ve tossed and turned for hours, willing myself to fall asleep. Hell, I even tried counting sheep but even that didn’t help. I’ve never been able to sleep in a new place. Everything just feels off, so foreign that it takes me a while to settle, but somehow I managed to drift off, only to be plagued with memories, again.
Giving up on sleep, I decide to head outside, I figure some fresh air might do me good. I pull on a thick knitted cardigan that falls below my knees before padding quietly through the house so as not to wake Alec. He spent three hours outside this afternoon making the house secure, a camera covering every inch of the house’s surroundings.
I head through the kitchen and out the back door, clicking it shut behind me. A stiff breeze has me pulling my cardigan tighter around me, goose bumps erupting on my bare legs, the wooden decking cold beneath my bare feet.
I breathe in the cool air, loving the sound of the gentle lapping of the water only a few metres away. It’s so peaceful here I think I could stay here forever.
I turn towards the swing seat beside me but fight back a scream when I see the dark silhouette of a man sitting on it.
“Oh my God!” I gasp, placing my hand on my chest to still my racing heart.
“Sorry,” Alec says. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
My heart settles at the sound of his smooth as velvet voice. “It’s okay.”
Even through the dark, there’s an LED lantern hanging off of a hook from one of the wooden beams of the porch, the light illuminating his gorgeous face. I see his eyes sweep over me, trailing down my bare legs and it’s then I realise I’m only wearing a pair of sleep shorts, a strappy tank top and no bra under my cardigan.
My skin heats under his gaze and I only hope he can’t see the blush that is undoubtedly staining my cheeks.
“Couldn’t sleep?” he asks.
I shake my head as I make my way over to sit next to him, the seat swinging gently under my weight. I draw up my knees and hug them, resting my cheek on my knee. “I find it hard to sleep in a strange bed that’s not my own.”
“You slept fine last night,” he points out.
“Because I was in a moving car. How the hell was I supposed to know you’d carry me to bed?” I ask, and he chuckles. “You didn’t have to give me the master bedroom by the way, it’s your house, it should be yours.”
“I wanted you to experience the view when you woke up. It’s the only room in the house that overlooks the water. And besides, you’re my guest, it should be yours.”
I smile at his words and the sincerity in his stormy eyes. “I had a nightmare when I finally managed to drift off.”
His eyes fill with sadness. “Are you okay?”
I shrug. “It wasn’t the worst I’ve had, I just hope there comes a point when they stop.”
“I wish there was something I could do to chase them away. I hate that you’re suffering.”
“That’s not your responsibility, Alec. God knows you have enough of that already,” I say, forcing a smile. “I um, I was looking at all the photos in the living room earlier. Your parents seemed nice.”
My change of subject catches him off guard as he looks down to his lap. “They were.”
“Was the reason you stopped coming here because they… died? Is that what you meant when you said they’re gone?”
He shifts uncomfortably. “Yeah…”
“You don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry if I’m prying.”
“No, not at all, I just don’t really talk about it.” I don’t say anything while I wait for him to continue. “It happened a few weeks after we came here for the last time when I was twelve. It was a house fire.”
“Oh God, Alec…” I scoot closer and place my hand on his forearm, hoping my touch eases some of the pain he’s feeling.
“I was the only one who made it out alive. They say it was due to faulty wiring and all it took was a single spark to ignite. The fire was closer to their room. I tried to get to them, but the fire was too far gone.” He leans forward, pinching the bridge of his nose as agony radiates out of ever pore.
A tear escapes me as I lay my head on his shoulder, linking my arm around his. “I’m so sorry. To live through something as awful as that so young…”
My heart breaks for twelve year-old Alec, a young boy who found himself an orphan in the blink of an eye, and ultimately, my heart breaks even more for the beautiful man sitting beside me now. There’s something so soul-crushing about seeing such a strong, grown man crumble before your eyes, but it also warms me to have him confide in me.
“Where did you go after that? Who took care of you?” I ask.
He clears his throat, settling back against the cushions. “My uncle. He took me in. He didn’t want me going into care, but I think he came to regret that decision pretty quickly.”
“Why would you say that?”
“I didn’t make life easy for him. I acted out. It wasn’t because I hated living there, I just didn’t cope with the death of my parents very well and I rebelled in response. When I hit high school I only got worse. I got in with the wrong crowd, got into trouble too many times to count, took out all my anger and frustration by being bad.” I can tell by his face he’s not proud of that fact, but he was young and coping the only way he knew how.
“So, you were a bad boy,” I say playfully in an attempt to lighten the mood.
He huffs a laugh. “I guess you could say that.”
A laugh bubbles up my chest.
“What?” he asks.
“I would’ve loved you in high school. I went crazy for guys like you. What is it about bad boys the good girls can’t get enough of?”
“I don’t believe for one minute you were a good girl in school.” And just like that, the air has shifted.
I cock my eyebrow. “No?”
He flashes me a grin. “Not one bit. You’re gorgeous, flirty, with an answer for almost everything. I bet you had them eating out of the palm of your hand. One of the first things I noticed about you when we first met was that insane confidence you have.”
My smile fades as I cast away my eyes. “Maybe back then. Not anymore,” I mumble.
After everything that happened to me, I feel like a totally different person, like something has shifted inside me and I don’t know if I’ll ever get the old me back.
“So, how did you come to join the Marines?” I ask, changing the subject.
“My uncle, Ray, had put up with my shit for too long and he decided he wasn’t going to take it anymore. With my grades, there was no way I was going to college, not that I ever wanted to. He told me if he wanted me to continue down the road of self-destruction, I wasn’t gonna do it under his roof. He wasn’t going to watch me fuck up my life. He gave me an ultimatum; I either join the Army or the like, or pack my bags and leave. I hated him a lot for that, resented him, in fact. But now I see he did me a favour. I haven’t seen him in almost seventeen years.”
“Does he live around here?” I ask.
He nods. “A little under thirty minutes drive from here.”
“Then what better time to mend some old bridges while we’re here?”
“I messaged him before we came. Told him I was in the area. He said he’d love to see me.”
I smile. “Then when you’re ready, we’ll go. That’s if you want me to come…?”
He turns to me. “Of course I want you with me.”
Our faces are so close it would be so easy to close the gap and kiss him as I rest my head on his shoulder. I ultimately decide against it, and settle for just feeling him next to me. I can’t imagine any other man being this close to me, in fact the idea makes me tremble, but with Alec, nothing has felt more natural. More right.
“I’m um… gonna head to bed, I’m finally feeling sleepy.” I reach up and place a kiss to his cheek, letting my lips linger on his stubbled skin a little longer than I should, but nevertheless, it feels good. I rise from the chair and head for the back door, tossing a glance over my shoulder to find his eyes on me. “Goodnight, Alec.”
He smiles softly. “Goodnight, princess.”
Back in my room, I drift off into a deep, nightmare-free sleep with the image of Alec’s body next to mine, the musky scent of him on my cardigan hugging me in an imaginary embrace, almost as if he were here with me himself.
I only wish he was.