37
I hate hospitals. They always make me anxious and on edge, not to mention that sickly smell of cleaning products and the stench of death that lingers thickly in the air.
It’s a smell you never get used to.
It’s the same smell I remember from when I was eight years old, my hand clasped tight in my dad’s, my brothers trailing behind as we made our way into this very waiting room. It’s where we were told my mom didn’t make it after the car accident.
I don’t remember a lot from that night aside from seeing my dad cry for the first time, but I do remember that smell.
I’m sat in the ER waiting area, biting my left thumbnail down to the nail bed. I don’t care that it’s starting to bleed. I can’t even feel the pain, I’m too focused on Alec. Too caught up in what happened tonight, though I’m not at all sure what did happen.
He was fine.
I was in his arms, relishing in his touch and praising God that all of it was finally over. I dared to allow my mind to turn to the future, a future with him without the constant threat of Austin looming over our heads.
But then he was falling.
I tried my best to catch him but it all happened too quickly and I wasn’t fast enough to react. He was too heavy.
He wasn’t shot or stabbed, I know that much. I checked every inch of him and the only injuries I could find was the inch long gash to his head from what I assume was from the car accident, minor scrapes and cuts all over his face, arms and hands—not too dissimilar to my own injuries.
For the past few hours since the doctors checked me over and gave me the all clear, I’ve been wracking my brain trying to come up with a reason to why he passed out.
Does he have concussion from the crash?
Does he have internal bleeding or a broken bone that’s punctured something inside?
He vomited twice in the ambulance ride over here, mumbling gibberish in the short moments he was conscious before passing out again.
I’ve come to the conclusion a head injury is the only plausible reason.
Please don’t let him die,I pray. I can’t have the last words I spoke to him, telling him for the first time that I love him, for him not to hear them.
I need him to know.
I’m so lost in my thoughts I don’t even notice Gage sit down beside me. He takes the hand of which I’m biting my nail and holds it in both of his.
“He’s going to be fine,” he reassures.
“How do you know that? We don’t even know what’s wrong with him.” I begin biting the thumbnail of my free hand, but Gage pulls it away.
“Alec is the strongest person I know. He’s going to pull through whatever this is.”
Rafe drops into the chair on my other side. “Agreed. Your man is going to be okay. He’s the toughest bastard I know.”
“My man?”
“Yes, little Hudson. Your man.” He elbows me in the arm playfully with a wink before draping his arm around my shoulders and planting a kiss to the top of my head.
“You know you guys don’t have to stay with me, right? I don’t mind if you want to go home.”
“We’re not going anywhere, sis. Alec is just as much a part of our family as any of us, even more so now.”
I glance up at the clock on the bare white wall in front of me and huff. “What is going on? Where’s the doctor? He’s been in there for hours.”
Just then, the door to the waiting room opens and my heart lurches, but subsequently sinks when it’s Max that walks in instead of a doctor. “Any news?”
I shake my head. “We haven’t heard anything since they brought him in.”
Max nods slowly, offering me a weak smile. “I would’ve come sooner but I’ve had some stuff to deal with.”
I don’t miss the emphasis on the word ‘stuff’.
“Where is he? Austin, I mean,” I ask, his name leaving a rancid taste in my mouth.
“He’s being treated for his injuries and from there he’ll be taken into custody for questioning. Whether he talks to us or not it makes no difference, we have enough evidence of kidnapping, assault, murder and trafficking to put him away for life. The next time he feels daylight on his skin will be when he’s old and grey, at the very least.”
The deep-set feeling of unease I’ve been carrying around with me for months diminishes at hearing the news that he’ll probably spend the rest of his life behind bars where he belongs, a fate much worse than death.
He can’t hurt me.
He can’t hurt anybody again.
There’s no sight I’d love to see more than him lying cold and lifeless on the floor with a bullet in his head, but he doesn’t deserve a quick, easy death. He deserves to suffer and I have a feeling he’ll do just that in prison.
“We’ve also got Jenkins in our custody,” Max begins. “He was in over his head in debt, drowning in it, in fact. Sloane bought up the debt and forced Jenkins’ hand. Either he do what he wanted or he’d take everything from him and his family.”
There was no doubt in my mind Austin had something on Jenkins, and a part of me pities him.
“Are you all here for Mr. Alec McKenna?” an older male doctor asks, stealing all our attention when he enters the waiting room.
I’m on my feet in an instant, my brothers and Max not far behind me. “Is he okay?”
“We conducted both a CT scan and an MRI to determine his condition as soon as he was admitted. It appears that Mr. McKenna has suffered what is called a subdural hematoma. It’s a build up of blood between the skull and the surface of the brain and is most commonly the result of head trauma.”
“Like a car crash?” I ask.
“Yes. It can sometimes take weeks to manifest itself however in Mr. McKenna’s case, it presented itself much quicker. We took him into surgery and managed to relieve the pressure on his brain. We have placed him in an induced coma to help reduce any swelling on his brain. We will continue our observations, but at present, his condition is stable.”
The doctor’s words swirl around my brain and whether it’s from exhaustion or the mild concussion I sustained from the accident, but I’m struggling to make sense of a word he’s saying.
“He’s okay, though? He’ll recover?” Gage asks, squeezing my shoulder.
“He was very lucky that we managed to treat him as quickly as we did, any longer and I could be having a completely different conversation with you. We’ll know more about any possible damage or lasting effects after he wakes up.”
What?
“Lasting damage? Like… Like brain damage?” My chin trembles as I say the words.
“In some cases, patients can experience problems with speech or memory, weakness and fatigue and sometimes seizures. These can take anywhere between a few weeks to upwards of a year to recover from fully.”
I can’t hold my tears back anymore, they spill over like a fountain as Rafe close in to comfort me, pulling me into his arms.
I sniff. “C—Can I see him?”
“Not at present. He’s heavily sedated and likely to be so for a fair amount of time. We will keep him closely monitored, but we’ll let you know once he’s ready to take visitors.”
My heart plummets.
I hate this. I hate not being able to be near him. The thought that Alec could have permanent brain damage because of the car accident has me wanting to collapse onto the floor beneath me and sob until my lungs ache.
This can’t be it, can it?
We’ve barely had any time together. A few short months for everything to come crashing down, but one thing I’m certain of, is that whatever happens, whether it takes him weeks, months or years to recover, I’m going to be there by his side through it all.
I won’t abandon him when he needs me the most.
I won’t abandon the man I love.
∞∞∞
It was an agonising four and a half hours before the doctor gave me the green light to visit Alec and it’s been two hours since then that I’ve been sat at his bedside, my thumb swirling circles on the back of his hand while I watch him sleep.
His head is wrapped in a white bandage, an IV line disappearing into his arm while the heart monitor beeps rhythmically on the opposite side of the bed. It’s a sound that’s keeping me sane at this point, the sound I’m clinging onto.
I can’t stop watching him, waiting for the gentle rise and fall of his chest, which along with the steady beep of the monitor, is the only indication that he’s alive. I’m scared that if I stop watching, he’ll somehow stop breathing, so I’ll sit here all night long if I have to, but it’s getting increasingly harder to keep my eyes open, fighting the heavy tug of sleep on my eyelids.
My eyes flutter closed and my head tips forward just as the door clicks open, snapping me back awake.
Gage slips inside, a frown etching into his brow as he takes in the sight of Alec before offering me a weak smile.
“Rafe and I are gonna head off, get back to the girls. Max has posted some of his men outside the room and down the corridor for your protection, they’ll be here if you need anything.”
“Okay,” I reply wearily, releasing a long, drawn-out yawn before roughing a hand through my matted hair.
“Why don’t you come home with us and get some rest?” he suggests.
“No.”
“Si, you’re exhausted,” he pushes.
“I said no, Gage. Alec wouldn’t leave me, he didn’t, so there’s no way in hell I’m leaving him.” When our roles were reversed not so long ago, Alec refused to leave me, so somebody will have to drag me out of here kicking and screaming before I leave here without him.
Gage chuckles with a shake of his head as he crosses the room, dropping a kiss to the top of my head. “You two are perfect for each other, you know? Both as stubborn as the other.”
“I’ll call you if anything changes.”
“Okay.” He heads back towards the door, but stops when his hand rests on the handle and turns to me. “It’s good to have you back, sis,” he says before disappearing out the door.
I turn my attention back to Alec. The doctor said it could be another several hours at least before he wakes, it could be days or weeks depending on how his condition improves. When he does finally wake, he might not be fully coherent, and depending on any brain damage he might have sustained, he might not be able to walk. He might not be able to talk or even recognise me.
I squeeze his hand tighter in mine, bringing his hand up to my lips on which I place a delicate kiss. “Don’t you dare leave me, Alec.”
∞∞∞
The clock on the wall reads two a.m. when the door opens and Ray steps into the room. His face falls when his eyes land on his nephew’s unconscious form and they soften when they drift over to me.
I rush to him and greet him with a hug, not able to contain my tears as he wraps his arms around me. The last time I saw him was yesterday morning, but it feels like weeks have gone by since then.
“Thanks for calling me, sweetheart. How is he?” I called him in the ambulance on the way over here, but I never expected him to drive for near on seven hours through the night to come to us, but I can’t blame him. After nearly twenty years apart, he’s finally reconnected with his estranged nephew, it seems cruel for him to lose him now.
“He had some sort of brain bleed probably caused by the car accident when we were taken. They took him into surgery and stopped the bleeding. He’s in an induced coma, but we won’t know the extent of any damage until he wakes up,” I explain.
“You were taken? Kidnapped?”
I nod. “By the same man who hurt me, I’m sure Alec told you the basics of what he did. He’s gone now, the FBI have him in custody. He’s taken so much from me these past few months…” I glance over at Alec, “I can’t have him take Alec too.”
Ray squeezes my shoulders, pulling my attention back to him. “He’s in the best place. Alec is strong, you know that first-hand. He’ll get through this, especially with you by his side.”
“Thank you for being here, Ray.”
“No place I’d rather be. In spite of our past, I always loved Al like he was my own son. He and Daniel were like brothers growing up, and seeing him like this…” He shakes whatever thought popped into his head away. “I’m so glad he has you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man more in love with a woman as he is with you.”
Tears prickle my eyes. “They said he could suffer memory loss when he wakes up. What if he doesn’t remember me?”
“Sweetheart, there is nothing that could ever make him forget you. Listen, I’m gonna go down to the cafeteria and see if I can find something to eat, it was a long drive here. You want anything, honey?”
“No, I’m good thanks.”
“I shouldn’t be too long.” He offers me a wink before leaving the room.
Taking a seat back in my chair, I link my fingers with Alec’s and rest my head on the mattress beside Alec’s waist.
Nothing could ever make him forget you…
I really hope that’s true.