Chapter 7 #2
She peers up, squinting. “Tab. Whatever you’re thinking is valid.
What happened sucks. You can rage, if you want.
Let the lies win today. Eat ice cream, watch The Notebook and cry, but…
” She stops with the eggs and moves over to me, grabbing my hands.
“…tomorrow is another day. None of us know what’s going to happen, and based on my experience after trauma, you’re still going to have a beautiful life. One you probably never dreamed of.”
I smile, eyes heating. Raeann’s story really is inspirational. I hate that she had to go through a second tragic event when she recovered from the first so fantastically. “It seems hard to dream right now.”
She pulls me in for a hug while Athena whines next to us.
“Then I’ll do the dreaming for you. We’re going to continue to be at the forefront of pet fashion.
We’ll make it into Forbes magazine, showing women everywhere that they can be boss bitches, too.
You’ll find someone who’s perfect for you, just like I did.
Someone who came along with the exact right personality when you needed it.
Someone who lives and breathes to make you feel safe and loved.
Someone you’re so attracted to that you almost forget that real life exists outside of the bedroom. ”
I don’t know how Raeann does it, but it’s like she knew I was lamenting about a man. I’ve never been the type to do that before. I figured he would come when it was right, but I’m not sure it’ll ever be right anymore. This guy will have to be damn near perfect in every way.
I clear my throat. “Um, Rae-bae, you’re burning the eggs.”
“Shit.” She turns, using the spatula to move the eggs around again. They’re a tad brown on one side, but they’re still edible. “Sorry, but we were having a moment.”
“We were.” I bite my lip. “And I hope you’re right. I’m not ready to say you are, but I hope you are.”
“That’s enough for right now.”
I push Rae-bae’s door with one finger. It creaks open, the sound ominous.
Waiting a few moments, I stand still as if she’s going to jump out of the darkness and yell, “Gotcha!” followed by one of those disappointed looks when I know damn well she left for Pet Threads about an hour ago with Athena, and Micah is at some sort of football something or other.
I tiptoe inside and spot her laptop on a dresser when I flip the light switch. I don’t know why I’m being so secretive. Raeann and I use each other’s things all the time, but it’s not even about the laptop, it’s about what I’m going to do on her laptop.
Run reports.
Sounds innocent enough, but Raeann doesn’t want me worried about anything, and there’s a part of her that probably wants to prove that she can do it, but if she really knew the extent of how stir crazy I’m becoming, she wouldn’t blame me at all.
I think.
I take the laptop and almost sit on her bed, but when I start to hover, I remember about the sexin’ they probably have on this bed every night, and I quickly change tactics and sit on the floor.
The laptop boots, and I pull up her browser. I smile when she’s already logged in to our backend. Perfect. I’ll just have a small look around to make sure everything is good.
I run a few monthly reports, checking out our sales since the fire and running them against months before the fire.
Though there was a dip while we were rebuilding, mostly because there was no inventory, things are back to normal now.
I sigh in relief. It’s one thing having Raeann tell me a generic “Everything is fine” and actually seeing it for myself.
Our suppliers really stepped up, rush shipping inventory to us.
For a week or so, our team fulfilled orders out of a room the Wildcats lent us—or should I say, lent Micah.
He’s a good friend to have when everything goes to shit.
There’s no way we would be anywhere close to where we are right now without him.
Especially since, all things considered, it hasn’t even been that long since the fire.
My phone buzzes, and I nearly jump out of my skin. I pick it up, wondering what Levi is sending me now. His response to our earlier conversation was the frustrated emoji with clouds coming out of each nostril, so I sent him back the emoji with a halo around its head.
When I click on his name, a pic pops up in our thread.
It takes me a moment to realize what I’m looking at because my eyes nearly go crossed looking at abs.
Levi’s abs to be exact. He’s posed in front of a mirror, gym equipment in the background.
He has his shirt off, flexing, with a pair of shorts slung low on his hips.
Me: Do you drink milk?
Levi: Not the response I was expecting.
Ha. No doubt he wanted me to drool over him, which, let’s face it, I am.
Levi: But yes, I do. Why?
Me: Because milk really does do a body good.
In response to that, he sends me another picture. This time, he’s sitting on a weight bench, staring into the mirror. His elbows are resting on his thighs, with one hand holding the phone and the other poised near his mouth, his thumb pressed against his lip.
This is a thirst trap. Levi fucking Soucy is sending me thirst traps. I sit back, kicking my feet and squealing, the laptop and Pet Threads nearly forgotten. How is this man so damn good looking?
While I’m still lusting over the first images, Levi sends a video next. He has his phone set up to record while doing bicep curls. I don’t know what weight those dumbbells are, but they look huge.
Levi: Now your turn.
Before the fire, I would’ve been so tempted to send a sexy pic. I probably would’ve. Now, though, there is nothing remotely sexy about me, other than the fact that I did shower this morning and wash my hair. The basics, basically.
Levi: Please.
My shoulders deflate as I peer around Raeann and Micah’s room then back at my sweats. Before talking myself out of it, I open up the camera app and snap a pic of me holding Raeann’s laptop and send it.
I don’t fuss over my hair. I don’t show off some shoulder. I don’t worry that I’m not wearing makeup. As soon as it ends up in our thread, though, I cringe. Levi is not in this for anything chivalrous, though, so I don’t know why I care.
Levi: Being a boss babe today? I like it.
Me: Oh yeah. This is me bossing. I snuck into Raeann’s room to use her laptop so I can log in to the backend to make sure everything isn’t going to shit. If it was going to shit, I don’t know that I could do anything, but hey, at least I figured it out.
Levi: Um, you “don’t know that I could do anything?” Excuse the fuck out of me, but you’re a business genius. You’ve taken a store for pets and built it into a freaking empire.
Levi: Yes, Micah talks about Raeann a lot, so I KNOW things.
My fingers hover over the screen. Inside, a warmth grows in my chest. Levi is being so complimentary, and you know what, I’ll take it. I am a boss babe. Just because something awful happened to me doesn’t mean I’m somehow a different person afterward.
What would I be doing if the fire never happened? Looking into different sales channels. Pushing for the dinner with the head of the football league so we can partner with them and make clothes for all the teams across the country. Running numbers to open up other locations.
I sigh. All of those are things I was working on pre-fire when I didn’t have other concerns.
I have doctor’s appointments coming up and prospects for additional surgeries.
These things are all excuses, but I can’t help it.
I feel trapped in this space where I can’t put my full effort into Pet Threads right now.
I bite my lip, emotion threatening to spill out. It builds until tears gather in the corners of my eyes and spill over. Clearing my throat, I shut the laptop and make sure I place it in the exact spot I got it from before returning to my bedroom.
Levi: You still there? Want to grab coffee?
No, I want to wallow in my own misery. I take some of the chocolate he sent with the gift basket that I hid in the bedside table and gobble it down before turning on The Notebook just like Raeann suggested, then I really give myself a cry.
After Raeann makes dinner, and I eat with them at the table, I retreat to my room. Raeann tries to get me to watch TV with them, but I already feel enough like the third wheel, I don’t need to plop myself in the middle of their downtime.
Athena follows me into my room, and Raeann looks at me warily.
I leave the bedroom door open because Athena doesn’t handle it well when she loses access to her mama.
Crawling up into the bed, I call for Athena to follow.
She jumps up, finding a nice spot right next to me and resting her head on my thigh.
“You’re a good girl, aren’t you, sweet thing? ”
My pillow vibrates and Athena lifts her head. I pull out the phone, and I swear, Athena side eyes me like she knows I’m not supposed to have it.
“This is our little secret,” I whisper to her, petting her again so she calms down, then I check Levi’s text.
Levi: I had a shit day. I got turned down for a coffee date.
I chuckle, fingers flying over the keyboard.
Me: The girl sounds like a bitch. You should leave her alone.
Levi: Can’t do that. I have a thing for her, but I don’t think she gets it. She doesn’t see how serious I am.
Me: The Big Dick Levi is serious?
It takes a bit for his response to come in, and I worry I’ve gone too far. I don’t want to make him mad, but I can’t say I trust that he’s that serious either.
Levi: As serious as I am about football and that should tell you something.
Aww. That’s sort of sweet in like a jock kind of way. I type out a response and then decide to delete it. I hit the backspace button when it accidentally sends.
Shit!
Me: What would you tell her if you could?
Levi: I’m glad you asked. I have something prepared.
No, no, no. I try to type up a text that tells him that was an accident, but he’s already sent something.
Levi: Tab, I get that my past scares you.
Judging by that, I totally accept your hesitation, but I was hoping you would give me a chance to prove myself.
Since they pulled you out of the fire right in front of me, I’ve gained a new perspective.
Life is short. The girls I dated were fun filler, but I realized why other guys on the team like Micah, Reid, and Cade seemed not only happier than me, but better men?
It’s hard to explain. I think what truly happened is that I realized that the love of the right woman is worth infinitely more than the short infatuation of a bunch of women.
My mouth goes dry. This block of text leaps off the screen at me. This might be the first time Levi has been raw and real with me, and I feel it. At least, I can believe that he thinks what happened changed his life, but there has to be some sort of weird coincidence that he’s fixated on me.
Me: Just how many women are we talking about?
Levi: That’s what you got out of that?
Me: I mean, you brought it up.
Levi: Enough to know when the right woman comes along that I won’t stop until she sees it too.
Me: I think you’re tired. You probably lifted too many weights today.
Levi: You’re deflecting, and I’m going to show you how serious I am.