20. Mia
Mia
Day two of knowing I’m growing a baby in my belly, and it’s still insanely weird to think about.
“What are you writing?” Adam asks from his kitchen.
I already wasn’t really feeling this idea, but getting a distraction from a shirtless Adam would have pulled me out of my deepest thoughts.
“I’m honestly not sure. Wyla gave me this journal at the game last night. She said writing really helped her throughout her pregnancy and after, so she thought I might want to give it a try.”
I shut the journal, despite only writing that one sentence, and toss it on his coffee table.
“I’m used to writing lists and business plans. It feels weird to write out my feelings about all of this…but the gesture was nice so I wanted to give it a shot. I just don’t know if it’s my style.”
“Yeah, I remember Jett reading the journals Wyla kept up before they found each other.” Adam hums softly, making his way over to me on his couch with a glass of water and toast.
It’s honestly the only thing I can stomach right now, especially knowing we’re going to be meeting my parents for brunch in two hours.
“Maybe, instead of using it solely for emotional stuff, you just add some of you to it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, like…you could still put how you’re feeling on one page, but maybe the next is a brain dump of baby names. And another is our to-do list or the date you first feel the baby move, then the very next page there could be something the doctor tells us to remember.”
“I like that idea.” A warmth fills my chest, and I try to hide the bandwidth of my smile with my drink. “Look at you, knowing me so well.”
Adam snorts a laugh. “You could add a list of grievances, like how you can’t seem to drink anything other than water.”
That would be my number one, actually.
“The irony is not lost on me, considering the crap I gave you about your favorite drink being water. I’ve been too afraid to reach for my Andes chocolates. My foundation has been shaken enough in the past two days. I’m not sure I can handle another blow like that right now.”
“Gotta admit”—Adam holds his hands up—“it now makes sense why you left your eggs untouched that morning. I might never be able to make you an elaborate meal, but I can scramble eggs.”
“To your credit, I also found it very weird that I couldn’t stomach them.
Considering how in tune I am with my body, it still shocks me to think about how I didn’t realize it right away.
There were so many signs, and it didn’t even cross my mind.
I didn’t even want to wear heels, for Christ’s sake. ”
“Mia, honey, I know I can’t say anything about women’s bodies, especially the health aspect, but I would’ve bet my entire contract that we were just going to be told you were coming down with the flu or some shit like that.”
There’s a knee-jerk reaction to say yeah, I wish, but the words get stuck in my throat. This baby was definitely not the plan, and I’m still struggling to come to terms with it, but I don’t know if I would wish to change it.
Maybe this is something that actually goes in the journal. Day two of being pregnant and the first hints of excitement about the baby have been felt. Still scared shitless at the same time.
“So, how are you feeling about telling your parents today?”
“The thought of telling them makes me nauseous,” I mumble, reaching for the journal again.
It’s not like we’re irresponsible kids; we’re adults in a serious situation and acting accordingly.
Even though I’m a little worried my parents may categorize this on the same level as a teen pregnancy.
Despite how lucky I feel to have Adam in all this—we’re not married, we don’t live together…
hell, we haven’t even had a six-month anniversary.
“It would honestly kill me to not get their support. I don’t want to lose the relationship I have with them, and I don’t want our baby to not have their grandparents either.”
The realization of the last few words has this sickly feeling rolling through my body.
The intensity I saw on Adam’s face when he said his parents didn’t need to be in our child’s life took me back a bit.
I can’t fathom the idea of not speaking to my parents—as nuts as my mother drives me sometimes—but I trust him.
“I didn’t mean for that to come off as me pressuring you to tell your parents. I won’t push the subject today, but maybe we could…”
Adam sets his drink down on the table and slides closer.
His eyes hold mine as he raises his hand, caressing my cheek. When he lets out a heavy sigh, he stares off in front of him.
“I’ve never told a woman I was seeing about what I endured with my parents.
Hell, the only one on the team who knows is Will, and that’s solely because of Callie.
Outside of that, Jett and Wyla know parts.
My high school coach and the therapist I had in Seattle know every detail and every ugly story…
“I could give you a CliffsNotes version right now, but that’d probably only bother you more—having questions about my family floating in your head while we break the news to your parents about the baby wouldn’t be fair to you. And selfishly, I just don’t know if I can today.”
“Adam, hey, look at me…” I rest my hand on his cheek, and he places a small kiss on my palm as he turns to finally look me in my eyes again. “You’re not being selfish. Not one part of me expects you to tell me today, or even this week.”
“I want to tell you, and I can promise you, Mia, I have never wanted to willingly tell anyone.”
Leaning forward, I replace my hand with a kiss to his cheek. “I’m honored.”
“It’s not exactly a pretty story…”
I kiss his lips. “I’ll still listen.”
“You might look at me differently.”
There’s so much pain resting in his amber eyes. The need to fix whatever is hurting him has my stomach turning in knots. I hate that I brought this up when we’re dealing with so much already.
“Impossible.”
Shifting my body, I pull him in tight for a kiss that hopefully gives him a clear message. Or maybe the reminder of what I told him yesterday on my couch…the person I need the most in this is him. I don’t pull back until I can physically feel his body relax.
“Is it okay if I change the subject?” I ask, not wanting to move on from this until he’s ready to.
He rests his head against my forehead. “Please do.”
“It might be another not-so-fun topic, but I do want to game plan how this brunch is going to go with my parents.”
Adam’s thumb runs across my cheek and the faintest smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Probably a good idea. Do we also need to prepare an emergency plan in case your dad tries to kill me?”
A laugh bubbles out of me. “He is not going to kill you.”
“Right, he’ll be happy with the asshole who got his daughter pregnant.”
“You’re far from an asshole.” I swat his shoulder. “I can’t say I know how they’ll react, but I do know it’ll be easier for them to swallow if we tell them our plan.”
Adam tilts his head back with a breath. “There are two major things we probably should address that I’m sure your parents will be curious about…”
“Marriage and our living situation. I think we’ve lost the luxury of putting off those topics.”
“Maybe so. Time-wise, I guess.” Adam brushes some of my hair behind my ear. “They were very real possibilities when I thought of you. The baby was the curveball for me, so tell me all your thoughts. These two things we can actually still control.”
I want to laugh at him using a baseball pun with our baby, but I’m too busy focusing on the first bit. I saw the possibilities with him, too. I didn’t see it like this, but here we are.
“Well, first, I thought I would move into the house my grandfather left me. I’ve always dreamed of having my family in that home.
It’s where I took my first steps, the dances I had with my grandfather…
In my mind, I see me moving there—you move in whenever you’re ready—having the baby, then, you know, we see where things take us from there. ”
I hold Adam’s eyes for a moment, trying to gauge if he’s internally freaking out yet.
He smiles as he runs his fingers through my hair. “Mia, I know you’ve got a more thought-out idea than that. Neither of us have a ‘see where it goes’ personality. You’re not scaring me with plans.”
Oh, thank god for him.
“Okay, but remember you asked for this. I like the idea that we can control these things. I never envisioned that I would first find out I was having a baby from a rude doctor then crying well into the night. So, I don’t want to give up a romantic proposal and the wedding I’ve planned over and over again in my Pinterest boards.
I see us moving in, having the baby, and I know we don’t have to be married to be a family…
but it’s what I want. I have a whole collage of wedding dresses and none of them would work with a baby bump. ”
Adam chuckles. “Can I see these boards?”
“You think you’re overwhelmed now? Just wait until you see the vision boards on steroids that is home decor, wedding inspo, clothing, hairstyles, ambitious quotes… Now I have one for the baby and the nursery.”
Okay, that could be another one on the bright side list in my journal. An excuse to let Pinterest consume me for several hours.
“Why don’t I just let you handle all that?”
The intensity in his eyes as they travel over my face, down to my lips and neck has my stomach twisting, and my cheeks feel flushed.
I flash my eyes down at first, just to try to calm down, but then I see the very noticeable erection in his gray sweatpants.
“Are you turned on right now?”
Adam’s hand falls from my hair and glides down my spine, causing a chill to run through me.
“I think you know the answer to that.” Adam kisses my neck.
“I’m literally talking about girly things. I didn’t think that would do it for you.” I playfully pull back, but tilt my head, hoping he’ll follow after me.
He does. He hauls me closer, then lifts me up so I can move my legs to either side of him.
“You were talking about planning a future. One that I want to be a part of, so, yeah, I want to fuck you right now.”
Adam rolls his thumb over one of my hard nipples. This thin little cami and cotton shorts may dull the searing of his touch, but when his hips lift up and roll against me, I’m positive every bone in my body melts.
“We don’t have a lot of time,” I whisper, because it’s all I can manage.
“I can be fast.”
“It’s a forty-minute drive to my parents’ house, and I’m not even ready yet.”
“Just five minutes…keep talking about the future you see with me, and I’ll come in my pants in two.”
My laugh quickly turns into a moan when he rolls his hips up again. “What about the other three?”
“Those are for you.” Adam’s hands move to my face, and he sucks my tongue into his mouth.
All arguments die right there. My hips fall into a rhythm matching his, and my nails dig into his shoulders.
Adam kisses down my jaw and the crook of my neck. “Fuuuck, Mia, you can come like this, can’t you?”
Normally, I’d never think a dry-hump situation would get me close…warmed up, sure, but right now I can feel that tightness in my stomach.
“Picture it, baby, you riding my cock like the perfect girl you are.” His tongue glides down and flicks over my nipple before pulling the strap off my shoulder. Bringing half of my tank down, he rolls his thumb over my sensitive skin. “These are perfect.”
He sucks my nipple in his mouth, and it puts me right on the edge.
“Adam…”
He only moans in response and flicks his tongue over the hard bud again. A shiver runs through my body, and my hips move in a small circle.
That gets another moan out of this amazing, massive man under me. The vibration of the sound against my skin is one thing, but hearing them…the clear proof I’m the one causing these sounds.
Damn, it’s just as good as his praises.
It’s the next one that gets me completely, his hand tightening around me and the deep groans of “fuuuck” send me right over.
Adam’s hips move faster against me, and his lips move back up to my neck. His breathing is just as heavy as mine, and I can feel the pounding in his chest.
When we finally start to slow, his hands go to either side of my face, and he gives me a lazy kiss. “I think we both made it in three, actually.”
“I’d bet it was two, All-star.”