27. Mia
Mia
Adam and I have to look like the most uncomfortable couple sitting in the waiting room of my OB’s office.
Adam stands out in general with his size, but pair that with a bouncing knee and the anxiety written all over my face…
needless to say, we’ve gotten a few concerned looks from other people waiting or passing through.
I don’t know how it happened. We were both fine this morning. We laid around lazily for arguably too long, but I didn’t want it to end.
For the first day in two weeks, I did nothing for several hours. Well, that’s not entirely true…I did do things to Adam.
You’d think the orgasms would chill us out a bit, but after filling out the paperwork and waiting for what feels like an eternity—anxiety has taken back over the both of us.
I need to hear my baby’s heartbeat. I talked to Wyla quite a bit about this appointment, and while I’m not exactly excited that there’s a possibility I’ll have to do a vaginal ultrasound first—I’ll do anything to hear that sound and know everything’s okay.
“Mia Wright,” a nurse in purple scrubs calls from the front.
Adam and I both jump up from our seats. My eyes lock on him, and he runs a hand down my arm.
“Everything’s going to be fine.”
I nod with a deep inhale, then exhale with my first step. I smile at our nurse. “Hi, is it okay if he comes back with me?”
“Of course.” She gestures to a bench a little way down the hall. “He can wait right there while we get situated. I can come back and get him.”
“Thank you.” Adam nods to the nurse, then kisses my temple before heading down the hall.
My nurse holds out a cup. “For you. Check the name and date to make sure everything’s correct. The bathrooms are right behind me, and you’ll leave the cup in the metal cabinet.”
“Great. Okay. And where do I go after?”
“I’ll be right out here, then we’ll head to a room.” She steps aside for me to head to the bathroom. “I’m Rosa, by the way.”
“Mia…but you knew that.”
“You’re good, I’ll be right back.”
I can’t exactly explain what it is about peeing in a cup that’s so humbling. As a woman, I’ve done it hundreds of times. On one hand it’s a bit like second nature, but also very awkward.
After placing the cup in the cabinet and washing my hands, I meet Rosa in the hallway and she leads me to an ultrasound room.
“Alright, Mia, I’ve got you a gown right here. So, we’re thinking we’re roughly seven weeks?”
“Yes.” I’m fairly confident in that timeline considering it’s obvious when conception happened, but I’m sure Rosa doesn’t need that story.
“Okay, we’ll start with a stomach ultrasound and hopefully we can see the baby. Sometimes we can at this stage, but I’d recommend getting completely undressed and into the gown in case we have to switch to a vaginal ultrasound.”
“Great, okay.” I run my hands over my jeans. I need to take my clothes off. I’m sweating.
“And do you feel safe and comfortable having your partner back here?”
“Yes, absolutely.” A.k.a. please bring him back here before I have a panic attack. I refuse to turn co-dependent, but Adam’s starting to feel like a security blanket.
“Okay, perfect, I’ll give you a minute to change and I’ll bring him back with me.”
I take a breath as she leaves and run my hands over my jeans again.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” I whisper out loud to myself. I fold up my panties in my jeans because for some reason it just feels weird to have them out in the open, despite knowing that everyone who’s going to be in this room has seen or will see my vagina.
By the time I’m pulling my gown on, I’m still talking to myself. “Your baby is great. This is all okay.”
A knock comes to the door the moment I sit in the oversized chair. “I’m good.” Ish…mostly freaking out on the inside.
Adam comes in first. His presence alone helps, but when he takes my hand, I can tell how sweaty his palms are too, and I finally get a decent deep breath in.
“Nervous?”
He tilts his head with a small nod. “And excited.”
Warmth fills my chest and my hand squeezes his. “Me too.”
Rosa walks around to the machine next to me. “So, how are you feeling, Mom?”
Her use of the word throws me off for a second. Right… Mom. That’s me now.
“Um, I’m good. Nothing too out of the ordinary. Honestly, I sometimes forget I am pregnant.”
She laughs. “Yeah, when you’re not having the big symptoms like morning sickness, it can feel that way in the beginning.” She unfolds the paper blanket and lays it over my lap before leaning my chair back. “Okay, let’s see if we can see this baby.”
I squeeze Adam’s hand tight.
“Ow,” he whispers.
I roll my lips to stop the comment. There’s no way I could hurt him, but the distraction it gave me helped a little.
I roll up my gown to my belly button and adjust the blanket to cover my bottom half.
Rosa rolls in her chair. “Okay, here comes the gel.”
I hear the warning, and I watch as she’s about to squeeze the bottle, and somehow I still flinch. When she brings out the little ultrasound sensor, whatever the medical term for that is, I hold my breath, and I don’t think I’ll be able to let it go until she tells me she sees something.
“Okay, I see the little bean of a baby.”
Relief floods me. “Really?”
“Really.” Rosa clicks around, and suddenly, the ultrasound pops up on a TV screen in front of us. “This right here is your amazing uterus, and this little blob right here is your baby.”
For the first time in weeks, the tears in my eyes are from pure joy.
“Do you want to hear the heartbeat?”
“Yes,” both Adam and I say at the same time.
A few clicks and then a rapid little beat fills the room. It’s so fast and beautiful. I can feel Adam place a kiss on my hand, but I can’t look away from the screen.
“And everything’s okay? Like that heartbeat’s good, right? It sounded good, but—”
Rosa chuckles, turning off the sound, and I almost protest to have her turn it back on, but I know I can’t have her do this all day. Even though I’d be perfectly okay with it.
“It sounds great. The heartbeat is strong at 162. I’m going to take a few measurements, and I’ll get you some pictures. Before you leave, I can do the heartbeat again, and you can take a video if you’d like.”
“Yes, please, we would love that.”
“We’ll do it.” Rosa rolls the little wand thing around and clicks on the screen with the mouse. “It looks like you’re measuring seven weeks and two days, which is great. The doctor will give you a due date.”
She rolls it around some more and takes different measurements of black and gray blobs all around, but when she gets over to my side, she pauses.
“Okay, Mia, this is no major cause for alarm, these are fairly common in the first trimester, but you do have a cyst on your right ovary. You said you’re not feeling any sort of discomfort or pain similar to period cramps or pressure?”
“No, not all.” Maybe now I have a blood pressure problem. I know she said no cause for alarm, but a cyst isn’t exactly in the good column in my brain.
“That’s great.” Rosa takes a very upbeat tone as I’m sure the anxiety is not hidden well on my face. “Doctor Harper will touch on it more, but these typically resolve by the second trimester. I’m going to measure it, so we have accurate documentation, and we’ll keep an eye on it.”
That helped me very little.
Adam’s hold tightens around my hand. “But she’s okay?”
“Like I said, Doctor Harper will go into more detail, but there’s typically no harm to the baby. We’ll just measure to make sure it’s not getting bigger over time.”
“That’s good, but I was asking about Mia.”
Rosa’s pressure on the ultrasound eases, and she gives me a proud grin before looking at Adam.
“She’s okay. It’s great that she’s not feeling any pain with it.
Doctor Harper will explain it much better than me and will hopefully give you a little more peace of mind.
But if it helps, I’ve seen a lot of these with pregnancy. ”
After getting all the measurements, Rosa lets us hear the heartbeat one more time for a video, then prints us off some pictures before letting me get dressed again and moving us to a different room.
I’m having a hard time pulling my eyes away from the gray bean in the photo. I can’t believe I’m actually growing a baby.
“I wonder if it’s a boy or a girl?” I ask, still staring at the photo.
Adam steps up next to me and brushes my hair behind my ear and over my shoulder.
“I don’t know, but hearing that little heartbeat was one of the best sounds I’ve heard in my life.”
“One of?” I laugh. “It was perfect. The best sound by far.”
“It’s up there, no doubt, but I really love the sound of your voice.”
His words hit me in my chest. Turning, I see him simply looking at me—watching his own hand glide through my hair. I can tell right then that he wasn’t saying that to get a reaction out of me or to be overly cheesy—he just meant it.
Signing the marriage agreement after this is going to be the easiest thing I do today.
A knock comes to our door and my OB comes in. Dr. Harper’s light brown hair falls in a braid over her shoulder, and she’s got this bright smile on her face. “Hi, Mia, I see we’re having a baby, congratulations!”
“Thank you.” I smile at Adam. “We were a little surprised, but we’re really happy.”
“You know, sometimes they really are the best surprises. My surprise just turned six and he’s the part of my life.” Dr. Harper puts her stethoscope in her ears. “I’m going to listen to you real quick. Deep breaths.”
I breathe deeply, despite biting my tongue to not ask five more questions as she listens. I’ve been seeing her for the past few years and never knew she had a son. But I guess when I’m here there’s really one objective, and the goal is to get in and get out with just a yearly appointment.
“All sounds great.” She loops it back around her neck. “It looks like your due date is November 14th. Your ultrasound looks beautiful, and the heartbeat is strong.” She looks over her chart again. “Not sure if you’re big on old wives’ tales, but 162 could be a girl.”
“Really? I hadn’t thought about signs of the gender past cravings. My mom said sweets means girl and salty is a boy, but I’ve really only drank water like crazy.”
“Yeah, that’s about how all the tales go.
There’s no real proof. I’ve seen some be right, a lot wrong, but a healthy baby is what really matters.
The tales are more for fun. As for the cyst, it’s relatively small and they are quite common during the first trimester.
As long as you’re not feeling any major discomfort or pain, there’s nothing to worry about.
I will have you come back in two weeks so we can just double-check it’s not growing. ”
“Is there anything I need to be careful of outside of the typical pregnancy stuff these apps and books tell me?”
“Rest is usually a good one, taking things just a little easier. Especially if you do start to feel any cramping or sharp pains in your pelvis.”
Mmm, rest. I can feel Adam’s eyes studying me. He’s got a comment about this, I’m sure of it. Slowing down isn’t exactly either of our strong suits.
“But if I’m feeling fine…”
Both of them laugh, which I find slightly offensive.
“Then you’re good,” Dr. Harper replies. “One of the best things you can do is listen to your body. If you’re feeling tired, then rest. Make sure you’re eating and drinking throughout the day.
Your body is going through a lot of changes right now, so give yourself some grace.
If you have questions or concerns, you can always call and leave a voicemail for our nurses, and we’ll call back when we can. ”
“What can I do to help?” Adam runs his hand down my back. “She’s not good at relaxing, and neither am I. Realistically, I do very little at this stage… I just want to be helpful.”
As if he’s not already done more than enough. He’s already got people feeding me and is going to marry me so I can have the house I want. I feel like I need to do something for him at this point.
“I’ve been at this for quite some time, and I must say I don’t get that question from dads often.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to see many supportive dads, but the going the extra mile partner is always my favorite.
There’re not many action items I can give you, but ask these questions.
Ask her questions and help when you can… or stay out of her way when she wants.”