16. Navigating Tricky Waters
16
Navigating Tricky Waters
W hen Nicole fluttered her eyes open, the first thing that hit her was the pounding in her head. The second thing? She was in a bed, but it wasn’t her own. Nor was the shirt she was wearing. The shirt she wore yesterday was now an undershirt, with a huge oversized tee thrown on top of it.
Her hand immediately went to her pants. She breathed a sigh of relief that they were still on. Fresh-smelling bedsheets caught her attention next as it covered her entire body. The room was lit by sunlight streaming in from a window, kept from completely sweeping over everything in its path by the blinds. The painted walls were an eggshell color. Art that looked to be bought firsthand from an art gallery hung on them.
A dresser beside the bed held no personal items or picture frames on top of it. Just a takeout coffee cup. She picked it up and read the ingredients, recognizing it as her order. She turned it around some more and saw a sticky note attached to it.
“It was only after you fell asleep in the car that I realized you never told me which apartment number was yours. I could’ve woken you, but I didn’t want to. I wanted you to rest, so I brought you here. Had to leave for work, but make yourself at home. You’ll find I left you some things for you to do exactly that. Like this coffee. Talk soon.” — Spencer
Nicole wouldn’t stay long enough to make herself at home. She opened the top drawer and found her purse inside. Her wallet and cellphone were still there. She checked her phone, and it was a little after 9:00 a.m.
Nicole needed to go home and change and be in the office. Yet she made no move to get up. She sat against the headboard, drinking her blonde flat white. Letting the coffee usher in the memories of last night. Meeting William, stopping at the nearest bar for a drink, an asshole barking at her, Spencer.
The way he touched her back, the way he talked to her, for her. Like he had a personal investment in her wellbeing. And what did she do in return? Embarrass herself. She groaned at her agreeing to pretend she wasn’t Spencer’s party planner and he, her client. Groaned again when she remembered asking him to buy her more drinks. Somewhere in there, challenging him to pool—
“No fucking way,” Nicole gasped, covering her mouth as she remembered saying she wanted his hands on her. It was a joke! A reference to how men used it as an excuse to touch a woman they were flirting with. Did he know it was a joke? She didn’t remember him laughing.
What she did recalled was him driving her car and her telling him about her parents. She never talked about her hatred of rain. Not even to Maya. She blamed the alcohol for getting that personal with a practical stranger. To say Nicole was mortified was a colossal understatement. She stared at the ceiling, remembering why she wasn’t a fan of drinking. Alcohol lowered inhibitions and clouded judgement. She couldn’t afford either at a time like this.
The decision to go off script came from William pulling the rug from out from under her. It wasn’t smart to let him get into her head like this. It was exactly what he wanted. He was baiting her into making a mistake, to feed into whatever he was planning to get even with her.
The crazy thing was if William hadn’t been a factor, Nicole would have remembered last night for being a good time. While, her interactions with Spencer were guaranteed to keep her up at night and not in a pleasant way. He had turned her miserable day around for the better. She hadn’t laughed like that in a long time. And for that, she was grateful to him.
When Nicole finished her coffee, she made the bed and grabbed her purse. Her heels that were by the door, she grabbed and held them by the straps. As she closed the door behind her, she searched, not finding Spencer. He hadn’t returned from work to check in on her. Nicole preferred it that way.
Her pride already took a hit. Him catching her sneaking out of his house like a one-night stand would have finished the job. Walking around the second floor of the penthouse, she found the bathroom. What was supposed to be a pit stop left Nicole in awe.
Yes, the bathroom was impressive with its double sinks and glass walk-in shower. Yet it was the bathtub that made her pause. It was a jacuzzi tub with jets and the whole bit. It was bigger than her queen sized bed. Even so, the luxe of it wasn’t what amazed Nicole. It was that it was prepared for her that made her stop in her tracks.
A long bath tray laid across it. On it were candles, bubble bath, and a mug of peppermint tea. Perched in the middle were the latest editions of Interior Design, Architectural Digest, and The Wilder Way. Spencer must have seen the magazines in her office and bought the latest issues for her to read. The scene made her smile. And that was before she saw the postie sticking to the mirror.
“Robe is hanging behind the door. Clothes you can change into are in the guest room. May be a tad oversized, but you can pull it off.”
Was she actually considering this? Staying in her client’s home and using his tub? His clothes and his magazines? It was so far away from the boundaries she set with herself on how to interact with clients. And unlike last night, Nicole didn’t have alcohol as an excuse to cross the line.
“It’s just a bath,” she said to herself. It didn’t need to mean more than that. Spencer wasn’t around to know if she used it or not. Plus, she needed it. She couldn’t go into work smelling like she crawled out of a bar.
Nicole ran the water, settling down into the tub. The bruise on her backside wasn’t too bad. The hot water eased the ache. She poured in the lavender and rose bubble bath. The smell of it was much better than the rum & coke still on her breath. The peppermint tea was strong, helping with that and soothing what was left of her hangover.
As she bathed, she couldn’t help but enjoy the peace. The jets rejuvenated parts of her body from the stress of William and work. The latest Wilder Way issue was prime soap opera drama. And the best perk of all was she didn’t owe Spencer anything.
She didn’t have to reward him with sex. Or talk him up in local media interviews. Or tell him what a nice guy he was for doing this for her.
Nicole’s intuition told her Spencer wasn’t doing this to get something out of her like her ex-husbands. His generosity didn’t have to mean anything more than that. It could have been that’s all it was, a bath and magazines.
The guest bedroom had a similar note on the back of the door. “Hope you don’t hate me for the clothes. If you do, hopefully the food downstairs will make up for it.”
She could give Spencer this. He knew the way to a girl’s heart. A bubble bath and breakfast. Eager to see what was downstairs, Nicole found the aforementioned clothes. A navy and white striped dress shirt, boxers, and a pair of fuzzy gray socks laid on the floor, having been kicked off the bed by her in her sleep.
She picked them up, debating whether to put them on. The cons were again destroying another boundary, and the intimacy of wearing a man’s clothes. She never even wore her exes’s clothes. The one article of male clothing she ever wore was her father, Terrance’s leather jacket. She kept the rest of his and Amber’s clothing in storage to preserve their scent as best she could.
The leather jacket resided in her closet at every motel or home she stayed in. It had kept her warm on nights where she had no heat or she needed the comfort and safety it provided her. Wearing Spencer’s clothes wasn’t the same, but it felt good. The shirt fell past her waist. The socks went up to her knees, warming her through the cold house.
In the kitchen, Nicole found another note. “Whatever you don’t eat, take it home. Seriously, take it. My mom will get a spidey sense I wasted food and I would have disappointed her again. Do you want that on your conscience?”
Nicole smiled, putting the note with the others in her purse. On a bad day, she would want to remember this happened. To remind her that good days could exist in a world full of shitty ones.
In the fridge, there were three takeout bags from a place called Breakfast Boutique. She grabbed and unwrapped one container at a time. Inside the first were three buttermilk pancakes, scrambled eggs, and skillet potatoes. The second had French toast dusted with powdered sugar and strawberry compote and a side of hickory-smoked bacon. The last was a breakfast burrito made with sautéed onions, peppers, black beans, and avocado.
Nicole’s mouth watered at the sight. She could tell Spencer put a lot of thought into what he was feeding her. It was a kind gesture, and one that could have easily backfired. He didn’t know what she liked or if she had allergies. But he knocked it out of the park.
She sat there on a barstool at his kitchen island and took a big bite of the burrito, needing something savory. It was the perfect bite, followed by dozens of more. When she finished, she checked her phone and saw it was 10 a.m.. Time to go to her apartment, get dressed, and go to work. Nicole never expected to feel sad about leaving, but there was no denying that’s how she felt walking out.
* * *
Neighbors passed Nicole on their way to work as she rushed up the stairs of her building. As she reached her floor, a figure by her door came into view. For a second, she worried it might be William, but the closer she approached them, she knew it wasn’t him. It was, however, someone equally annoying.
“What are you wearing?” Kennedy gawked.
“Not interested in talking about it with you,” Nicole said, irritated as she used her key to unlock the door.
Kennedy followed her in even without Nicole telling her she could. “Are you interested in talking to me about your meeting with William? I tried calling and texting to see how things went. You never responded.”
“You wouldn’t have wanted to talk to me yesterday. I was in a foul mood.”
“Aren’t you always?”
“It was worse than normal.” She grabbed a simple black dress from her closet and closed the bathroom door behind her. If they were going to have this conversation, it would have to be while Nicole got ready for work.
“Let me guess, your plan to get William to end his crusade against you and Maya failed. ”
Nicole emerged from the bathroom, dressed. Without looking at Kennedy, she flipped her middle finger before searching for her mascara brush.
“So the plan backfired. What are we going to do now?”
“We aren’t doing anything. You’re going to do nothing and I’m going to handle this my way.”
“Hello? You just did that, and it didn’t work. I know you’re a badass who thinks you have to handle everything by yourself, but you don’t. We both want to protect Maya. Neither of us want to see her go to jail. We can work together on this.”
Kennedy never sounded more like a child to Nicole than right then. She was 24 and in love. She would have done anything for Maya. It was an understanding, but stupid feeling. Nicole had been there with Kyle. Kennedy didn’t see it, but Nicole was helping her. She was stopping her from doing something stupid for a relationship that wouldn’t last.
She exited the bedroom and walked over to Kennedy, who was standing center of her living area. “Go ahead. Tell me your bright idea that will get William to back off. I’m all ears.”
The younger woman maintained eye contact with Nicole, not backing down from the challenge she laid out. “You turn yourself into the police. Leave out or modify your retellings of your cons so Maya isn’t implicated. William gets what he wants. Revenge on you for screwing him over and he hurts Maya by taking her mom away from her.”
Kennedy must have thought Nicole would react in a rage at her suggestion, instead she smiled. “That was a great idea when I came up with it almost a year ago. Don’t you think I offered that to William? He turned me down. He’s more interested in seeing us suffer than seeing us do time.”
“What exactly did he say to you? ”
“That even if I turned myself in, he won’t stop coming after Maya. He’ll keep going after her, whether to implicate her in my crimes or make her live in fear.” Repeating what William told her refueled Nicole’s anger. She didn’t care how he came after her, but Maya was a different story. She rather go to jail for murdering William than let him hurt her daughter.
“William can try to implicate Maya as much as he wants, but if you turn yourself in, it’ll be your word against his. He doesn’t have anything that proves Maya went through with the cons willingly. She was 18 when they started. You’re one hell of a liar and manipulator, Nicole. You can easily spin a tale of you forcing your daughter into doing your bidding. Any good lawyer can dispel any accusations William could throw at her.”
“I’m not willing to risk that. If I go to jail and William still goes after her, there will be no one on the outside to look out for Maya.”
“What the hell do you call what I’m doing now?”
“You’re her girlfriend. What you’re doing is the bare minimum.”
“Fuck you, Nicole.”
“I’m serious, Kennedy. I have no clue if you’re in this relationship for the long haul. If the police come knocking at Eric’s door with a warrant for Maya’s arrest, are you going to stand by her? Would you allow yourself and your family to be put through a criminal investigation for her? Or would you throw Maya to the wolves when the going gets tough?”
“I love your daughter. I’m in love with Maya. I want to build a future with her.”
“Her father told me the same things in his wedding vows. Guess what? They didn’t make him stay when things got rough, and they won’t make you stay either.”
“Would you stop this?” Kennedy pleaded. “Stop drawing undeserved parallels between me and your ex-husband. I’m not Kyle. Maya is not you. I won’t leave her, no matter what gets thrown in our way. Now, I gave you a way to protect Maya. Is it perfect? No, but I don’t see a better option. Turning yourself in to the police is our best course of action.”
“Of course, you think that. You’ve been trying to get rid of me since I came into Eric’s life. Admit it, you would love to see me have to go to jail. You’ll pretend to comfort Maya while secretly celebrating inside.”
“Oh my god, you’re so damn full of yourself. I’m not out to get you. If I were, I would have gone through with sending you to jail myself a long time ago, but I know how much that would wreck Maya. And I care about her more than I hate you.”
Nicole was taken aback. Hate was a strong word. “You hate me?”
“You’re surprised? You tried to con my widowed father into giving you half of his life savings. So yes, Nicole, I hate you. I don’t respect you. You’re rude, manipulative, and selfish. It’s a miracle that Maya turned out as well-adjusted as she is. It’s even a bigger miracle that Maya cares for you. You used her for your cons to work. Let gross old men kiss and touch her for a payday. I don’t care that Maya was of age and was up to do it. She was your child, and you put her in that position. You should’ve protected her.”
Nicole was silenced by her own conscience. She did do that to Maya. The idea was Maya’s, but the seed was sprouted by the environment Nicole raised her in. After Kyle left, Nicole resorted back to her pick-pocketing and credit card stealing ways. Only now with another mouth to feed. She needed bigger plays for money for them to survive.
Having men Nicole didn’t like take her to bed so she could steal their cash and watches while they slept seemed like a good idea at the time. If it kept them with a roof over their heads, then it was a necessary evil. Keeping Maya away from that dark seedy underworld was crucial to Nicole. No taking these men back to their crappy one-bedroom apartment. No taking off to meet with a mark unless a neighbor could watch Maya.
But things slipped through. Marks knocking on her door, demanding their stuff back, calling Nicole every name in the book. Loud phone calls from marks who refused to believe Nicole scammed them. Men who scared them into moving.
It was all enough to make Nicole switch gears. Scams that didn’t involve sex were cleaner, less complicated, and safer. When Maya was old enough, Nicole let her in on a small part of her world, allowing her daughter to come up with the plans and help her pull them off. A Girl Scout scam, a Big Sister, Little Sister scam, and more.
It shouldn’t have surprised Nicole when Maya turned 18 that she wanted to stay around and help secure their futures with high risk, high reward cons. Nicole built a culture where the danger and risks from the cons gave off the same high of beating a tricky video game level. And because Maya grew up seeing the ways her mom let men use her for the sake of a payout, she was willing to do the same.
“You’re right,” Nicole muttered, barely reaching her own ears.
“What did you say?”
“You’re right. I was an unfit mother to Maya. I should’ve protected her and shielded her from the horrors of the world. But I was a young woman alone with a kid to raise. I did what I thought I had to do, so that I wouldn’t lose her. I thought because those men weren’t taking advantage of her like they took advantage of me, that it was okay.”
“Because she didn’t sleep with them like I did, I thought the guilt would be easier to bear. When Maya was young, she had this twinkle in her eyes. It became like stars whenever we pulled off a con. Over time, the twinkle disappeared. I could tell the cons started not to be fun for her anymore, but she kept doing them for me. And I didn’t want to stop because I knew one day I would be gone and there would be no one looking out for her. Money can’t replace family or friends, but it could provide her with the safety and security I didn’t always have. The most important thing to me was for her to be taken care of after I was gone. So I kept them going even when they were taking bits of her away from me.”
“I knew one day she would resent me for it. I tricked myself into being okay with that. My parents left me with nothing but their clothes. No family, no money. I didn’t want that to be the case for Maya. I rather she hated me in death than for me to have left her penniless, homeless, and alone.”
“Do you still feel that way?”
Nicole put her hands over her head, as if she needed to quiet her thoughts. “No mother wants her daughter to hate her. It’s the ultimate sign of failure. I thought failing Maya would be to leave her in the same position I was in as a child. I didn’t realize there were other ways to fail as a parent.”
She closed her eyes, wiping away her tears with the knuckles of her index fingers. Kennedy’s neutral expression welcomed her when she opened them again. “No, I don’t want Maya to hate me. Everything I’ve done, as misguided as it was, was done because I love her. And I wanted to spare her from the pain I experienced. It doesn’t excuse me putting her in harm’s way.”
“Good, because it doesn’t.”
“I’m just glad I didn’t break her. I thought I took things like her capacity to love and trust away, along with her twinkle. But after she met you, it all came back. You gave her back parts of herself after I’d stolen them. I might have resented you for that.”
“Might have?”
“I’m giving you an apology.” Nicole wiped her nose with the inside of her dress. “Don’t push it.”
Kennedy nodded for her to finish.
“I have a hard time trusting people. Every time I do, it bites me in the ass. I was critical of yours and Maya’s relationship because I didn’t want her to go through what I did. You’re the first person I’ve seen her care about like this. That scares me. But despite my distrust of you, I do believe you have her best interests at heart. Something for a long time, I didn’t. So thank you for helping her when I didn’t.”
Kennedy stared at her a long while before speaking. “Well, shit. If this is the new, less bitchy you, I kind of like it. Slowly, you could work yourself up from hatred to contempt.”
Nicole chuckled before her face turned serious. “I’ll do it.”
“Do what?”
“Turn myself in to the police. If it’s the only way we can find to protect Maya, then I’ll do it. I don’t want her to spend a part of her life behind bars because I was too stubborn and proud to sacrifice myself.”
“Okay. Okay,” Kennedy said, trying to process her words. “You know, when I said it earlier, I didn’t think I would actually get you to agree with me.”
“If it’s the only way to save Maya, then it’s the right move.”
Kennedy nodded, but she didn’t look convinced. “Let’s say this is our contingency plan. If all else fails.”
“Everything already has failed.”
“Not necessarily,” she began. “What we need is to change tactics. No more hoping William goes away or pleading with him. If he wants to scare you and Maya by digging into your skeletons, then we’ll do the same with him. I’ll have to ask my dad, but I’m sure I can convince him to pay someone to snoop into William’s past. To find something he doesn’t want out there and we can use it to get him to go away for good.”
“Wow,” Nicole said in a resigned voice. “You had that idea in your back pocket and you still wanted me to turn myself in? You really are an asshole.”
“Takes one to know one. ”
Nicole could be pissed later. Kennedy’s idea wasn’t bad except for one thing. “What if he isn’t hiding anything? I did research on him when I was casing if he would make for a good mark. I never found a whiff of him having a scandal.”
“No offense, Nicole, but I think a high-priced PI can find more on him than you did. The current behavior he’s displaying tells me he can’t be squeaky clean. We just need to find that magic bullet and steer clear of him until we do.”
Nicole wasn’t completely on board with Kennedy taking the lead on this, but the girl looked like she couldn’t dare be stopped. “Fine. We’ll do it your way, but if this fails, I will haul myself down to the nearest police station the first chance I get.”
“Please don’t do that without approving it with me first,” Kennedy asked as she approached the door to leave.
“Why? Do you want to do the honors yourself?”
Halfway out the door, she said, “You know, it would be my pleasure.”
Nicole smiled because somehow this had been their most productive conversation.