Bronagh Chapter 11
Exhaustion lived deep in my bones. I had never felt this tired in my life.
However, I’d never been this stressed or sleep-deprived either.
Today was the third day I’d been alone in this house since Cathal left.
I’d paced the floors, cried until I had no more tears to shed, and replayed what I overheard that night when I got out of bed to find him.
I tried calling him when I hadn’t found him in the house. When he didn’t answer, something made me go to the lanai. A part of me wished I hadn’t. Walking out and realizing not only was he not alone, but what Cathal was saying had been like a punch to my stomach.
“To have a tight enough hold on her that she won’t run when she finds out that I not only run sex clubs, but I’m a damn patron of them!
I have played in Wicked Desires plenty of times, and the fact that we have them in the family is because I was the one to suggest them. I’m the one who needs kink in my life!”
The shock of those words made me gasp. When they turned toward me, I had run and wanted to be alone as I processed the pain of what his words meant. I’d locked myself in the bathroom.
Of course, that hadn’t kept Cathal from coming after me and demanding I open up and talk. Darragh showing up and getting in the middle of it had been even more stressful and confusing. I’d called him without thinking it through. I wasn’t sure why I did.
I had a hard time recalling exactly what Cathal said, but what was crystal clear was that he packed a bag and left.
He told Darragh to keep me on the estate and that he’d leave.
However, I’d overheard what was said in the closet.
I’d crept down to tell him that we should talk after all, and that’s when I knew there was no talking anything out.
Cathal told Darragh that he planned to stay at his sex club, where he had a crash pad, where he was needed and wanted.
I knew that was a nice name for what it truly was, a fuck pad.
It was undoubtedly where he took the women he screwed.
He wouldn’t be alone. Someone, probably several someones, would fulfill his sexual needs.
God, how many had he been with? And how could I have been such an idiot?
By keeping myself isolated from our mutual world for the most part, I hadn’t known about Cathal’s desires.
There had to be rumors out there. There were always rumors and speculation about his family.
And after finding out he had kinky desires, I knew what a fool I was.
Nothing we’d done had come close to being kinky.
Yes, for me, the sex had been extraordinary.
And I thought it was the same for him, based on how he acted and spoke.
But now, I knew he had to have been lying.
All I could say was that he was a world-class actor.
The family had tried to get me to talk to them about what happened.
They weren’t pushy, but they tried. And when I refused, they left disappointed.
They let me have my privacy, although Darragh made sure to tell me that I would need to stay.
With Cathal off the estate, there was no need for me to leave. He’d gone as far as to confer with Dad.
But the call the head of the O’Sheeran family made to Dad hadn’t done what Dar imagined it would. I spoke to Dad Saturday mid-morning. It was just him and me on a video call.
“What the hell is Dar talking about? He said that you and Cathal fought. And that you’re living on the estate and Cathal isn’t. Darragh says he wants me to make sure you understand that you have to stay there and not go to France. That you’re the safest there. What happened, m’aingeal?”
My chest hurts. I didn’t want to tell my dad what a stupid fool I was, how I’d fallen for Cathal and been shown how I would never measure up. But he deserved to know. I needed his help to get away from here.
“Daidí, I need you to listen and not say anything until I’m done.”
There was a long pause before he exhaled and said, “Okay, talk to me.”
I went through what happened. I left nothing out.
My pride was in tatters, so it didn’t matter if he knew.
I had the humiliation of the entire O’Sheeran family knowing I wasn’t capable of meeting Cathal’s sexual needs.
It became clear that I couldn’t when he hid what he did for his family and his personal involvement with Wicked Desires.
If Cathal had wanted those things from me, if he believed I could fulfill his sexual needs, he would’ve mentioned it. He would’ve brought those kinks into our bed and showed me what he preferred, but Cathal hadn’t.
When I was finished, Dad was livid.
“That bastard did that to you!? He kept it hidden, and now he’s left you and is staying at his club.
Fuck him! I thought he wanted you for yourself.
I thought he had feelings or at least they could develop, but I see I was fooled.
Well, I have news for them. You’re not remaining there.
I’ll have you smuggled to one of the other safe houses.
So far, none have been infiltrated by whoever is out to ruin our lives and take our territory.
“The only problem is, I need time to get it ready for you. And to arrange someone to escort you there covertly. I don’t want any of them knowing where you are.
They don’t need to know. I hate to ask, but can you hang out there for a few days while I get everything prepared? I hate to ask, but I’m not ready.”
We’d talked for several more minutes before hanging up.
He was supposed to let me know today when he could get me out.
I couldn’t remain here even if Cathal weren’t here.
This place was his home, not mine. These people were his family, not mine.
Thinking of all I thought was mine, and what I would be walking away from, made me sick to my stomach.
Needing something to do, but knowing that trying to work was useless because I couldn’t concentrate, I went to the closet Cathal had given me for my things.
They looked ridiculous with that small selection in the vast room.
Since I would be leaving any day, I decided to pack everything.
It was only two suitcases worth, but when my escort came, I didn’t want to waste time.
I opened both cases and got to work. I made sure my phone was on a shelf where I could hear it if Dad called. Unable to stand the silence, I found my music on there and turned it up to full volume. I carefully folded each item. Making sure not to crease them. I hated to iron.
I packed slowly, letting the mindless repetition help my brain stop spinning.
When I was finished, I closed the cases.
I was pushing them closer to the closet door when Aisling stepped into the doorway.
I let out a small scream as my hands flew up to my chest. She gave me an apologetic smile.
Letting go of the suitcase handles, I rushed to the shelf and turned off my music.
“Bronagh, I’m so sorry that I scared you. I yelled, but you couldn’t hear me over the music. I came to see if you’d have lunch with me. What’re the suitcases for?” she asked, nodding at them.
Thinking quickly, I pasted a smile on my face and shrugged.
“I was just moving them, that’s all. They were over in an awkward spot.
There’s no need to crowd Cathal’s clothes with them pushed underneath his suits.
I keep my clothes in the dresser, but with as much closet space as there is, I could have a million pieces stored in here,” I said, chuckling.
“You don’t hang any of yours up?”
“No, they’re not anything special, as you’ve seen. There’s no need for them to hang. You said something about lunch. I’m sorry, but I can’t. Thank you for the invitation. I already ate, and it’s time for me to get back to work. I have designs to submit,” I told her, even if it was all a lie.
“Bronagh, I know you’re upset with my brother.
I hate that. But it’s not good for you to stay holed up in here day and night.
We’re worried about you. You look tired, and like you’ve lost weight.
Please, just come for half an hour, even if you don’t eat.
It’s only a couple of us so that you won’t be overwhelmed with people, and we’ll talk about whatever you want.
” She sounded so sincere, and her expression was concerned.
“Aisling, I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t,” I said unsteadily.
If I had any tears left in me, I would’ve cried. But they were long gone. And the thought of food made me want to heave and vomit. I hadn’t eaten since Cathal left. I tried once or twice, but food made me gag, so I stopped.
“Are you sure? I can bring something here, and just the two of us can eat,” she offered.
When I shook my head, she sighed deeply.
“I understand he’s my brother, but I’m here if you need someone to talk to.
Believe me, I’ve had my own experiences with a man who made me want to run away, and I thought he would never be mine.
But like Alistair and me, I think you and Cathal are perfect for each other.
You just need to work through this and learn to communicate with each other.
Alright, I’ll stop and go, but I’m not giving up.
You have to leave this self-imposed isolation soon.
If you don’t, I’m afraid Darragh will come.
You don’t want to see him in his bossy ass mode.
You have our numbers if you need us. Please call. ”
“I will,” I lied.
She hugged me before she left. I followed her to the door and watched her walk off. Once she was out of sight, I closed and locked the door. Because they could enter at any time, I set the alarm. At least if anyone else decided to pay me a visit and walk in, I’d hear them this time.
With that done, I went to the study. I’d await Dad’s call there.
As I came around the desk, a wave of dizziness hit me.
I had to grab the corner of the desk to stay upright.
I stood there for several moments before it passed.
Moving more slowly, I got to the chair and dropped down in it.
Another wave didn’t come, so I shrugged it off and opened my laptop.
Maybe I could work on my designs after all.