Cathal
Chríost, how the hell had I fucked things up so badly in one week that my wife was leaving me, no, divorcing me, and convinced that I cheated on her?
And how could I have lost control enough to inflict actual punishment on her, not something playful, but hurtful in a way that could leave marks?
I knew after I saw her tears that I’d done it too hard.
And that her ass was more than likely more than red.
She might be bruised. The last thing I ever wanted was to mar her skin for any reason or any length of time. I felt sick to my stomach.
Now, I had one chance to tell her why I’d been withdrawn, different with her, and had hurt her. What if I couldn’t get her to believe me? The answer was if she wouldn’t, I meant what I said. I wouldn’t be able to live without her.
She followed me back to the living room. Knowing she’d want distance between us, I sat in one of the chairs while she sat on one end of the couch. She watched me warily. I didn’t blame her. I found myself staring down at my hands. They were red and stung.
“You said you wanted to talk. If you changed your mind—,” she said.
I snapped up my head and shook it. “No, don’t go. I do. I’m just trying to figure out where to start.”
“Why don’t you start at the beginning? Why did you change after you took care of the Methots? Did you realize there was no longer a reason to be married?”
“No, never. It doesn’t matter whether the Methots are dead or not. It changes nothing with our marriage. I want to remain your husband, Bronagh. That has never been a doubt in my mind for a moment.”
“Then why did you change, Cathal?”
I heard the plea in her tone. I took a deep breath, blew it out, then told her.
“When we finished up with them, I found myself disappointed in the fact that it was so easy to get the information out of them. I wanted more vengeance. Sure, there was a little bit of torture of Lotario, but that was it. What Primo and I did was a fight, and it was fun, but it didn’t cause the kind of pain and suffering I wanted to inflict on them.
And usually, we end up making it very bloody.
Hell, even their guy, Lalonde, spilled his guts without us having to place a mark on him.
“I know I should’ve left there relieved that it hadn't required more, but I didn’t.
And that made me wonder. Am I a bloodthirsty monster?
And if I am, what makes me any better than them?
All I kept thinking was how their desire for vengeance for what they blamed your family for could’ve cost you your life.
My entire family might’ve been harmed or killed because of it.
And I never wanted anyone to think they could do that again.
“It has preyed on me since. And when we were together, in bed, sometimes, I felt filthy, and I didn’t want to touch you with any part of me. But there were times I couldn’t stop myself. I crave you like a fucking drug, Bronagh. And I can only go so long without my fix before I break.”
She remained silent for a long time. I was about to ask her to say something when she did.
“Talk to me about why you decided to work into the night tonight? Why did I find you freshly showered and only in those pants, in your sex pad in your playroom?”
I stood and paced away from her. I didn’t turn my back on her or look away, but I needed to work off the energy building inside of me.
“I came in later today with the intention to stay late because I hoped I might actually get some work done for once.”
“For once?”
“Yeah, see, all this week, I’ve come during the day, and most of the time I’ve sat at my desk staring off into space, going over what the hell was wrong with me.
I thought maybe if I came during my normal work time, I would be able to focus.
Before you, I would work here from late afternoon until the early hours of the morning.
I figured maybe it was messing with my head, except it wasn’t.
“As for why I have wet hair and all that, it’s simple and can be verified by several people and even security cameras.
There was a fight between two men tonight.
They were fighting over a woman. They were newer to the club, but not anyone we’d ever had problems with.
The fight got bad, and I stepped in along with one of the security guys.
I thought it would help ground me if I could exchange a few punches and then toss the men out.
Only it turned into an actual fight. I was able to subdue my guy, but he bled from cuts he sustained from the other man.
It got all over my clothes. So after they were out the door, I came up here to shower and change into clean clothes. ”
I stopped to see how she was taking what I said. Bronagh was watching me closely. I couldn’t tell from her expression if she believed me. Panic began to make my heart flutter.
“Why were you in the playroom rather than your bedroom?” she asked quietly.
“Because I got to thinking of you. And then I thought of this place and how you would never be comfortable here. Even if I got rid of everything and refurnished and equipped it, you’d always know I brought other women here.
And I couldn’t fault you for feeling that way.
I went into the playroom to remind myself what was in there.
I was deciding whether to ask you about replicating a room at home.
There are certain pieces of equipment and things I’d like to have there.
Plus, whatever you want. You caught me contemplating it.
“Bronagh, I swear on everything I hold sacred, I wasn’t showered after having sex with someone or waiting to have it. I was thinking that after I was done making my mental list of equipment, I’d head home to my wife so I could make love to her.”
“Really?” she whispered.
“Dia, yes, and I’m sorry I made you feel like it was your fault or that I was uninterested in you. Nothing can be further from the truth. Diabhal, we’re in the middle of a crisis, and I’m fighting not to strip you naked and take you on that couch or on the kitchen counter,” I said, huffing.
She sat there, not saying anything for a few minutes, though it felt like hours. I was ready to get back on my knees and beg.
“I owe you a huge apology. I came here convinced you were hiding something, and the only thing I could imagine was that you didn’t want me anymore.
And that I’d find you here with someone else who could meet all your desires.
I came up here and found you in that room, dressed the way you are, which seemed to confirm it.
“My heart broke, Cathal. I couldn’t let you see that or me cry, so I tried to leave, and when you stopped me, I wanted to hurt you as you hurt me. And you wouldn’t let me. Then, you spanked me.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll never do that again,” I immediately promised.
“It hurt, but what hurt more was that you denied what I thought you did. Then you locked us in, refused to let me leave, and threatened to kill yourself if I left you.” Bronagh’s eyes grew wet again.
“I know, and I hate that anything I did or didn’t do makes you feel I don’t want you, but it’s not true.
I’ll always want and need you. I love you.
I can only see myself spending the rest of my life with you.
Please say you believe me. I can show you the video of the fight and the state I was in.
You can see the private one, which will show no one has been here other than you and me.
Tell me what else I can say or do to make you believe me and never doubt me again.
And if you try to divorce me, I’ll fight it. ”
“You don’t need to show me any videos. Though, thank you for the offer.
Again, I’m sorry I fought you and said all those terrible things to you.
My only excuse is that the idea of you loving me still seems impossible.
And when you changed, I grew afraid. I don’t want a divorce, just your love and fidelity. ”
I was across the room and took her into my arms the moment her words stopped. Bronagh didn’t try to push me away. She snuggled closer. I held her for I don’t know how long before she tilted her head back. I smiled down at her.
“Is there anything else you need me to say or do?” I asked.
“What would you say to us making your earlier suggestion happen?”
“What suggestion?”
“To strip and take me on the sofa or the counter. I find that notion turned me on something fierce. And I can’t wait to get home to appease it. Will you make love with me, Cathal? I need you desperately, mil.”
My breath caught as my heart sped up. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Although as much fun as the sofa or counter might be, let’s save it until next time. This time, I think I’d rather be comfortable. Your bed looked very soft.”
“It is incredibly comfortable. And just so you know, the mattress and sheets are brand new. I had the old ones removed and burned as soon as I claimed you. I never thought you’d stay here with me, but on the off chance you did, I want nothing in our bedroom touching you directly that isn’t just ours,” I whispered against her mouth.
Her arms came around my shoulders, and then we devoured each other’s mouths.
My cock stiffened fully, and our tongues slid along each other in between nips with our teeth on lips and tongues.
My hands came to her front to cup her tits, causing her to moan as my thumbs found her nipples through the double fabric.
I wanted her naked and spread out on my bed so I could admire and feast upon every inch of her.
Grasping her by the back of her thighs, I hoisted her up.
She took the hint and wrapped her legs around me as her arms tightened around my neck.
Keeping my hands under her ass, I walked her to my bedroom.
I could barely contain my excitement. I would ensure she gained her pleasure more than once before I allowed myself to have mine.
But first, I had to make sure her bottom wasn’t too battered.