Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lily
I stared at the bruises that peppered the side of my face, a blossom of purples and pinks that made it look like I’d been struck repeatedly in the face, which, of course, was exactly what had happened.
Greg had punched me mercilessly. The only saving grace and the only reason the beating hadn’t been worse was the fact that he had been driving so he could only use one hand. I was thankful for that small mercy.
No, I grimaced as I looked in the mirror in my bedroom. I wasn’t thankful at all. In all the years I had been with Greg, he had never once raised a hand to me. And now that he had, I wasn’t sure he wouldn’t do it again.
Anger was never a reason to hurt someone, especially when the anger was of your own making.
He had wanted me to spend my time with Danill.
The whole situation was his idea. And he’d bought a new car, and God knows what else out of the money.
So he wasn’t angry that I’d been intimate with Daniil. This was all about something else.
In the car on the way back, when he had finally finished, and I had curled myself up as far away from him as possible, he had spat at me, telling me I had ruined everything.
Which made no sense because he was the one who—
“How are you feeling?”
His voice made me jump, and I wrapped my arms around myself and backed away, keeping my eyes on him as he passed in the doorway.
Greg’s eyes scanned my face, and there was not one flicker of emotion in them.
“You’re going to work?” He asked. His eyes narrowed.
“Yes.” Keeping a wary eye on him because I didn’t want to be surprised by another attack, I pulled out my work clothes and then changed my mind and chose something else. There was no way I could wear what I usually did. They wouldn’t cover the bruises. I needed to be more covered up.
“I see,” Greg took a step forward, and I whirled around, holding the sweater on its velvet hanger out like it was a weapon I could use to defend myself. Greg glanced down at it and froze.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Lily. What happened yesterday.” He shook his head. “I lost control of my emotions, and it will never happen again. You have to believe that I’m sorry.” His fingers grazed against my arm. “I love you. We need each other.”
Wasn’t that what all abusers said? They were always sorry. They always said it would never happen again, and then it always did.
“It’s ok,” I whispered and forced myself to smile. “I know.” Except I didn’t know, but I didn’t know how to escape this situation either. It wasn’t like I had anywhere else to go.
“You’re going to need to cover those marks. We don’t want anyone to see them, do we?”
My eyes flicked towards him. He didn’t care about me. He just didn’t want anyone to know what he was and what he had done. I’d always loved Greg. But these last few weeks and months, it was like I was seeing him for what he really was. And I didnt like what I was seeing.
When had he changed? Or had he always been this way, and I had just been too blind to see it?
“I will make sure they are covered. Don’t worry.”
He stepped into me so quickly that I didn’t have a chance to do more than flinch back when he reached for my cheek, pressing his thumb against the bruise that went the length of my jaw.
“I’m not worried about me, Lily. I’m worried about you. Your reputation is—“ he shook his head. “Well, I’ll let you get ready. It’s going to take some time to make yourself presentable. Make sure you don’t mess anything else up today.”
He walked away, and I couldn’t do anything but stare after him. Asshole. Greg was an asshole. How dare he blame me for any of this?
Shaking my head, I turned back to the mirror and stared at my reflection. It wasn’t just the bruises that were making me look bad. My skin was pale and blotchy. My eyes were bloodshot and red from crying. Despair was written all over me.
Sighing, I sat at the small vanity and reached for the thick concealer I never wore and began to smear it on my face.
I didn’t know what to do now, but whatever I chose, I would need to go to work to fund it.
I swiped my key card for the sixth time, and again, the light flashed red instead of green.
I knew that sometimes technology glitched, but it had never done this to me.
I was in the foyer on the ground floor, and a steady line of people trying to get into the office had formed behind me. More than one of them grumbled.
Sighing, I turned, one hand clutching my key card and the other one securing the silk scarf around my throat more securely, where it had come loose.
“Hi.” I caught the attention of one of the receptionists. “My card seems to be malfunctioning. Can you reset it, please?”
She took it from me without a word, her nails tapped away on the keyboard furiously.
“I’m sorry, Miss Ridgeway.” She finally looked at me. “Your access has been revoked.”
I swallowed hard. Revoked?
“What?” I stuttered.
“If you email your department head, then I am sure you can sort this all out.” Her eyes filled with something that looked like sympathy.
I’d been fired. That’s what this was all about. I couldn’t email my head of department because my boss was Daniil, and he was done with me.
Blinking rapidly, I forced myself to smile. “Ok, thanks.”
I would not cry. I would not cry. I told myself over and over again as I walked away.
Yesterday, when Daniil had dismissed me, I hadn’t thought in a million years that he would sack me as well.
I needed this job. Hell, I loved my job. Even if it meant going back to—
“Lily.”
I turned to find Anya there. Her chair was being pushed by a man in an expensive suit and a pensive look on his face.
“Hi.” Nervously, I walked over to her. Noting the look of utter relief on her face as I approached. The look didn’t stay on her face for long. The closer I got, the more worried she looked.
“What happened to you?” she whispered.
Before I could stop myself, my hands went to my face. “It’s nothing.” I lied. “I took a fall on the ice.”
It was amazing how easy the lie came to me.
Anya looked like she didn’t believe a word I was saying, but she didn’t press the matter either. “We were so worried about you. Why didn’t you come home?”
I was about to say because I wasn’t welcome, but just shook my head instead. The tears were pushing at my eyes and making my eyes and throat burn. I didn’t want to cry in front of her and all my old work colleagues.
I’d been humiliated enough recently.
“Daniil has been beside himself. But you’re here now, and you’re ok. Let’s go up together.“
I cut her off. “I can’t do that.”
“Why?”
I held up the now-useless card. “I’ve been fired, my security has been revoked.”
My voice was thick with the tears I refused to cry.
Anya’s eyes widened. “That can’t be right. Just let me call Daniil, and we can get this all straightened out.” She made a move to reach for her purse, and I lashed out and grabbed her arm. “Please don’t.”
Warily, she lifted her eyes to me. “Give him a chance to explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain. He wouldn’t listen yesterday, and I don’t think he will listen now. He wanted me gone. He’s fired me. He called me—” I shook my head. “Well, everyone heard what he called me. There’s no going back.”
Why did it hurt so much to say that out loud? It wasn’t like I had fallen in love with Daniil! Was it?
“He didn’t mean it.” Anya’s voice was ragged. “Just come upstairs, and he can talk to you. He is just super protective of Timothy, and the sight of you,” she tried to take my hand and I took a step back. “The sight of you with Greg after what happened just triggered him. Let him explain.”
I took another step back and shook my head again.
“There is nothing to explain. Daniil made it pretty clear that our arrangement is over,” I snapped.
“He told me to leave and never come back. He said he didn’t want to see me ever again.
” I held up the key card. “This not working and me losing my job just goes to prove how serious he was. So just drop it, Anya. It’s over. I’ve gone back to my real life.”
A real life where the man I’d wanted to spend the rest of my life with used his fists on me, and I’d lost my job so I couldn’t even leave him. Agreeing to be Daniil’s proposal had officially ruined my life. There was nothing he could say to make it better. And nothing she could say either.
“Did Greg put those marks on your face?” Anya asked softly.
Again, my hand reached for my face. “No, I told you I fell.” Even to my own ears, it sounded like a pathetic excuse.
Anya’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t have to live like that. Danill will be—”
“This is none of Mr. Popov’s business,” I said in a low whisper. “What happens in my life is none of his business, and it’s none of yours either, Anya. Drop it.”
Anya’s lips snapped shut. “I am just trying to help.”
I knew that, but I didn’t want her help. Or Daniil’s. Or anyone’s. “I know, and I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Please excuse me, Anya. I need to head home and try to find another job. Have a great day.”
Bending down, I pressed my lips to her cheek. “I am so glad I met you. Have a great life with your new husband. He is a very lucky man.”
With that, I walked away. Ignoring her calling after me and asking why I wouldn’t be coming to the wedding. Again, I found myself outside on the busy freezing street. Filling my lungs with the icy air, I lifted my hand to hail a cab and quickly thought better of it.
I was unemployed in one of the most expensive cities in the world. I could no longer afford a cab.
Our apartment was miles away, blocks and blocks, but I would have to walk. I didn’t have any other choice. But maybe the walk would do me good. Maybe I would find another job on the way. At the very least, I would be able to think. And that was something I desperately needed to do.
Head down against the wind, I set off, letting tears of self-loathing fall down my face. Sob after sob ripped its way out of my throat, but not one person noticed.
This was New York. I was surrounded by millions of people, and I was completely and utterly alone.