Chapter 9
“Is Cam short for Cameron?” Emma asked as they strolled along the beach, their feet slightly sinking into the sand as the water slid over them.
“Yeah, but very few call me by my full name.” He was never referred to as Cameron except for maybe at the doctor’s office. “My parents have always called me Cam since I was a baby and it stuck. That’s how I introduce myself, too. What about you? Is Emma short for anything?”
“Just Emma.” She wondered what it’d be like to have been given a nickname by her parents. “What are your parents like?”
Cam looked up at the waves rolling in, the people swimming in the ocean, towels spread out along the beach. It was peaceful here, even though it was the busy season of summer.
“They’re your typical loving mom and dad, I suppose,” he said, not noticing her wince. “They took my sister and I on vacations, played board games with us, spent Saturdays at the park where we’d grill and ride our bikes.” He smiled at the memories. “They worked hard like everyone else, but they always managed to make it to our games and have time for us.”
“That’s wonderful,” Emma said, trying to maintain a neutral voice. She brought this on herself, she chided. “They sound amazing.”
Cam stopped and turned toward her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She tried to keep walking, but he gently placed his hand on her arm.
“Tell me.” It sounded more like a worried plea than a demand.
Emma felt a pang of annoyance at herself. “Really, it’s nothing.” She waved her hand to have him keep walking with her as she continued. “I’ve always been curious,” she started. “About what it was like for other kids growing up, what other families did, and I’m sure that was just the start of my interest in different lifestyles, cultures, cities, and everything else.”
She couldn’t help but smile as she thought about how that small curiosity had snowballed into a drive that led her to want to see and experience the world.
Cam began to understand. “What was your experience like?”
He didn’t push her on it, and she appreciated the space he gave her to find the words. “I don’t like to dwell on the negative parts of life,” Emma admitted. “I’ve learned it doesn’t do any good, but I also can’t deny that some emotions and pain can linger longer than others.”
Emma paused as another couple walking in the opposite direction approached and waited until they’d passed to keep going. She wasn’t the most private person on the planet, but there were some parts of her she didn’t care to share with just anyone. Which made her surprised she was okay with sharing this with Cam. A small part of her wanted to, though she didn’t know why.
“My Aunt Mel raised me as far as I’m concerned. I moved in with her when I was seven, but I guess I didn’t really have a choice. As an adult, I realized I hadn’t even really known her when I was a kid. But she was my only option.”
A tug in Cam’s chest made him want to hug this woman while an invisible shoe was kicking him in the gut. He oftentimes forgot how lucky he was to have the life he easily took for granted. He may not have gotten all the toys he wanted for Christmas every year or the cool car when he turned sixteen, but he had a mom and dad who did their best to love and care for him. Who continued to show up for each other and their kids no matter the stress, the fights, or the long days when life proved to be tougher at times. He was lucky, privileged even, and it was moments like these that he remembered not everyone had that.
He should know better by now, especially since he had so many people in his life who didn’t have as happy of homes growing up, who had lost a parent as a child, whose parents had split, or didn’t offer them love and support.
He let Emma keep going at her own pace, not wanting to interrupt her or take away from her story.
“I don’t have the best memories of my parents when I was a child. Some things stand out more than others, and for a lot of it, I wonder if they were really memories or nightmares that engrained themselves into my mind. But I remember a lot of fighting and screaming. Like I said, I’m not sure which are memories or a combination of my imagination and what I’d overheard or learned since, but my mom used to get so mad she’d start hitting my dad and throwing things. Cops were called several times.”
Emma remembered asking her aunt about it, who had been her mom’s sister. They’d grown up in an abusive house, and Aunt Mel said that it was probably all her mom had known as far as how to handle anger and her emotions. Emma knew that didn’t excuse her mom’s behavior, yet knowing that about her had made Emma feel like she at least understood and knew her mom better.
“My dad wasn’t physically abusive but I think he was verbally aggressive. We were secluded from everyone,” she said. “My dad didn’t have any family around and my mom had left home years before she met him, having cut ties with my aunt. My grandparents were both dead by the time I was four and I don’t even know if my dad’s parents were alive. Aunt Mel didn’t know much about him.”
Cam listened, having stopped beside Emma as she’d begun gazing out over the horizon, their feet in the water. He waited as he sensed the worst was yet to come.
“I don’t know what all they were struggling with, whether it was financial, loneliness, mental health-related or what, but they turned to drugs and alcohol.” Emma looked down, watching the water lap over her feet and up her ankles. “You can guess how that road took them down a worse path.” She let out a breath. “Until one day I was called into the office at school, police officers waiting inside, and that’s how I learned that my mom had taken her own life.”
She didn’t look up at him, not yet. Because if she saw that pity she was so accustomed to, then she knew she wouldn’t finish with the rest. Instead, she went on.
“They never did know what took my dad home on lunch that day, but I guess the neighbor overheard his wails, and when the police and paramedics showed up,” her voice quieted. “My aunt thinks he had to of loved her tremendously because he lost it. When they tried removing him from her, it was like he cracked and exploded and took all his pain out on those around him. My dad had never laid a hand on me or my mom, but that day he went swinging on everyone in sight.”
Cam shuddered at what Emma must have experienced, what it’d been like for her.
“They took him into custody and found a way to get ahold of my aunt. She came without any questions and never once made me feel like I was putting her out.”
“What about your dad?” Cam asked softly.
“I think the part of him that shattered that day never fully recovered. I don’t know his reasons, if it was because I was a reminder of the life he’d had, if I looked too much like my mom, or what it was, but he never came for me.” She clenched her teeth until the moisture threatening at her eyes died back. “Nine months later, he overdosed.”
Shit. Holy shit, Cam thought.
Emma filled her lungs with air as she slowly raised her head, her eyes meeting his. She held her breath, waiting. And waiting. But it never came. The pity never came.
Instead, Cam reached out, his palm finding her cheek. It felt comforting and yet prideful. “To walk this world with so much brightness and joy radiating from you is a testament to your strength.”
Emma blinked, then blinked again, letting that breath out in a deep whoosh.
He gave her a gentle smile. “I understand why you wouldn’t want your second family or anyone to worry about you being okay after the breakup, but Emma,” he held her gaze. “You do not break. You forge new beginnings, adventures, and a new life. If you can be who you are today after experiencing all of that as a child, then I sympathize for anyone who’d pity you because they must not know you.”
For the first time in her life, Emma felt seen and empowered. Yes, her aunt had always been loving and supportive, offering her a home and life better than she’d had before, but there was something about this man standing in front of her, stripping her bare with his words that made her feel like her past was not who she was. That her upbringing was not who she was, merely a piece of the puzzle like everything else about her. She got to decide what that final picture was, and though she’d always believed that, she felt like someone else did too.
She placed her hand on his, smiling up at him. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Cam lightly brushed his thumb along her cheek before lowering his hand, not having thought twice about it. It’s the same he’d do for Slone and Katie, both of whom he thought of as sisters, and the same he’d done time and again for his actual sister. And it wasn’t a lie or a statement of comfort. He believed it. Emma had an inner strength most people would never possess.
He now understood why it was so important to her not to look less than in front of Lulu, Lauren, and Henry. Even Asher. Maybe she was right, this had nothing to do with getting her ex back or making him jealous. She was just tired of living in a world where people looked at her with sadness in their eyes regarding her life.
Because if they looked close enough, really looked, they’d see she was a spark that couldn’t be dulled. She would feel the roller coaster of emotions and tribulations as much as the next person, but this woman he came on vacation with was not the type to let life tell her how she’d live or feel. She was the type to take it in her hands and mold it into what she wanted.
“I want to do something.” Emma was looking at him, that apprehension having transitioned into something brighter.
“Should I be scared?” Cam asked, noticing the gleam entering her eyes.
She laughed, a beautiful sound she was surprised to hear from herself after discussing one of the darkest parts of her life. It felt good.
Cam watched as Emma slowly backed up a few steps, lifting the camera she’d been carrying on a strap around her neck, refusing to leave the room for their walk until she unpacked it.
“Be yourself,” she said, beginning to adjust the settings.
Cam tensed. “I’m not a natural in front of the camera,” he began to object.
“Bullshit. I saw all of your photos, remember?”
He laughed. “Yeah, but that’s different.”
“How?”
“Because there wasn’t a beautiful woman holding the camera.”
Emma paused, surprised by his words. Then she gave him a smirk and decided to play it off. “You won’t deter me with shameless flattery, Cameron.”
She may have called him on the flirtatious comment, but it didn’t stop him from liking the sound of his full name on her lips. And that must’ve shown because he heard the shutter begin clicking as she aimed the lens at him.
◆◆◆
Cam tugged on the back of his collared shirt at the dinner table. Thankfully, he’d packed a pair of khaki shorts for his trip to Dallas, and he had worn them with a t-shirt to get him through today, but after he’d goofed off with Emma at the beach and she convinced him to let her take pictures, he had needed to change for dinner.
Whenever he tried telling her it was his turn to capture her, she refused. When he lunged for her, she started splashing the water at him.
It’d ended up being a fun afternoon together, even if it was under the pretense that they were acting like a normal couple would. It hadn’t felt like an act whenever they’d grabbed themselves drinks from the pool bar and took them down to the beach to sit in the sand and watch the waves, their conversation flowing smoothly and without thought like those tides rolling in.
Unfortunately, when they went back to the room to get ready for dinner, she insisted he couldn’t wear his same outfit, even after he countered that the armpit sweat and stains from a spilled cocktail weren’t too noticeable. She’d only laughed and said no before going into the bathroom to rinse off and get ready.
Now he sat in a button-down he had worn this week to work, the sleeves rolled as far up as humanly possible, and a pair of blue slacks. The heat was oppressive and he envied the two men in their nice shorts and short-sleeved collared shirts. It didn’t matter that there were fans on the patio, he swore Lauren and that sweet smile of hers was beginning to feel more like a warning sign as she insisted they eat outside tonight.
If Cam ever thought he wanted to date a nice girl, his mind was quickly changing to the opposite. Give him the spontaneous and adventurous photographer who at least gave him a small smile of apology as he sweated through his second shirt today.
“Did you get good pictures?” Henry asked Emma from across the table.
She let out a small laugh. “They would’ve been better if someone would’ve stood still.” She leaned into Cam and bumped his shoulder with her own.
He put his hands up. “Hey, I told you I’m not good at posing.”
“Aw, Em, you have your very own muse now,” Lulu teased.
She rolled her eyes, though the smile dampened its effect.
“I tried convincing her to let me take her picture, but she wouldn’t give in,” Cam supplied.
“She’s always been like that, but I’m sure you know that by now,” Lauren said. “Even her Instagram is full of beautiful photos without anyone ever getting to see the creative behind the camera.”
Emma gave her an appreciative look at the complement of her work. “Speaking of Insta, do you want me to get some shots of you this week? I know you’ve come fully prepared, but if you want an extra set of hands or anything, I’m happy to.”
Lauren’s eyes lit up. “I’d love that. I didn’t want to ask and make you feel like you were working on vacation.”
“We’ll get it figured out then.” Emma smiled.
“We should do a family shoot, too,” Lulu chimed in.
Henry perked up at that. “That’s a great idea. Do you have one of those stand things you sit the camera on? We could do it on the beach.”
“I could take it for you otherwise,” Cam offered. “I’m no photographer, but I bet Emma could set it up for me and I’ll snap the photos.” He smiled. “It’ll be good practice, too. My friends are expecting their first child, and I already know we’re all going to be snapping photos of the little cutie left and right.”
Emma’s brows lifted as she turned toward him.
“That’s sweet, Cam,” Lulu said. “Do you like kids?”
The simple question felt intense with so many eyes on him now. Of course he liked kids, who didn’t? Especially whenever he could go back home to a good night’s sleep and a quiet house after his visits.
“Yeah,” he said. “I have two nieces who are more than spoiled by their Uncle Cam already.”
He caught Emma’s eyes still on him from his peripherals. She had known his friends were expecting, but he hadn’t shared about his sister’s kiddos yet. He wondered if she was surprised or assumed he’d have a strong relationship with them. He bet she would’ve guessed it about him already.
“There’s nothing better than family,” Henry said with a no-nonsense nod. “But we’ll all get in the picture, I’m sure somebody can take the photo for us if need be,” he added, making the temperatures outside turn sweltering and further uncomfortable on Cam’s skin.
He felt the widening of Emma’s eyes, too.
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to crowd the family photo,” Cam tried, turning toward Asher in hopes the man felt the same unease. Unfortunately, Asher looked completely at peace, if not pleased, at the thought. Well, that made sense. He was actually dating one of the women here and wanted to be included as part of the family, unlike Cam who feared his boss would resent him every time he saw that photo if things blew up in their face.
Emma came to his rescue, her hand patting his knee under the table. “We’ll take lots of variations.”
He quickly nodded in agreement, then sagged in relief when Asher asked a question that changed the subject.
He was able to relax and enjoy most of the meal until all of their plates were emptied and those who’d ordered dessert were taking their last bites. Cam found himself wondering if Henry liked to save these last-minute surprises until the end of their dinners out of his own enjoyment, or if it was some business meeting tactic that carried over into his personal life. Because this was the second time Cam thought he was about to leave the table without any glitches until Henry suggested the guys go golfing tomorrow.
“That’s a great idea.” Lulu’s excitement was evident. “Then us ladies can go explore and do some shopping. I want to find a new bikini for the week. Most of mine are last season still.”
At Cam’s nervous glance toward Emma, she tried to offer him a life raft. “Cam and I were planning to go shopping already. We need to get him some clothes so he doesn’t sweat to death all week.” She laughed easily, but he noticed the pointed look she gave Lulu to help her out on this.
However, it was Lauren who commented first. “Come on, Emma,” she begged. “It’ll be fun. We’ll have a girls’ day. Besides, you can still pick him up some clothes.”
Cam felt like he was invisible, which was fine since he was torn between liking the idea of golfing with Henry and Asher and worried that it might mean too much time and opportunity for him to say something that would screw all of this up.
Henry waved his hand. “All a man needs is some shorts and trunks, and he’ll be fine.”
Cam didn’t necessarily disagree, although he’d need to get his only pair of shorts washed tonight somehow before he spent the day on the course in them tomorrow. He didn’t mind that his clothes were already half the price of what he noticed Henry and Asher wearing, but he’d prefer not to have a giant stain over the thigh and left ass cheek.
Emma let out a resigned sigh, clearly knowing her objections would be a wasted effort.
Lulu gave her a Cheshire cat-like smile. “You can give your boyfriend up for one day.”
“Alright, alright,” Emma played it off, though Cam wondered if the quick movement by his leg was her trying to kick Lulu under the table.
“Great, it’s settled then.” Henry clapped his hands together once, then began scooting out his chair as he called it a night.
Cam was really going to have to take note because he was beginning to sense that the man knew if he wanted to get things to work out the way he wanted, then he waited until everyone was too full and tired and ready to call it before he brought up his idea.
He wasn’t going to complain though because it meant he would get to spend tomorrow with a ball on the tee, the sun in the sky, and a beer in his hand.