Chapter 21
Emma flipped through the minimal channels on the hotel’s television before giving up and pulling out her phone to check it, though she knew there wouldn’t be anything new on it since she’d already gone through every app installed not even five minutes ago.
She let out a sigh at how pathetic she felt. She’d had an amazing time with the girls earlier. The horses were so gentle and beautiful and riding them along the shore made her feel like she was in a movie. However, she couldn’t stop her thoughts from drifting back to that kissable smile and those tempting blue eyes. More than once Lulu or Lauren had to repeat what they’d said because she’d been lost in her thoughts.
Unfortunately, that meant they knew exactly what–or who–preoccupied that daydreaming mind of hers. She did her best to sidestep the subject, especially because it only ate at her further to lie and mislead someone while another knowingly listened to her do it. It made her feel ick.
After they’d rode, she decided to forgo their invitation to dinner and ordered room service instead, which she ate in the comfort of her sweatpants and a hoodie with the air conditioner cranked. She thought eating alone would let her relax a bit, but all she wound up with instead was a feeling of loneliness.
When was the last time she’d felt lonely, Emma wondered. For someone who didn’t have the most desired upbringing, she couldn’t remember ever being plagued with that feeling. Sure, she didn’t have a lot of people in her life, but the ones she did, those whom she let in enough to know her, they’d never made her feel alone in this world. It was the letting people in, she acknowledged, that had always been her struggle. It probably had something to do with fearing their pity or judgment deep down, but that wasn’t something Emma felt like unpacking right now.
In her current state of mind, she was beginning to grow concerned that the only logical reason she could think of for feeling this sudden sense of loneliness was because her hotel room lacked that certain air of balanced male ego and genuine kindness that was the dynamic mixture of Cam. And she didn’t like that being the logical thought.
How did this man who was a stranger not that long ago now have a strong foothold in her life? Enough so that she was scrolling through endless photos and posts of crap she didn’t care about because she was tired of looking at the clock and guessing how much longer until he was back.
Emma finally gave up her endless scrolling and went to the search bar to look at one profile in particular. If she couldn’t see him in person, at least she could continue her previous deep dives of his life online. She knew that social media was nothing short of a highlighted version of someone’s life, but now that she knew Cam–wow, did she actually feel like she knew him? Yeah, she decided, she kind of did. And now she could read more into those smiles that showed across the screen.
Like a bunny down the hole, Emma found herself slowly jumping from one profile to the next, some private and others public, as she clicked on other people tagged in his posts. It felt a little stalkerish, she wouldn’t lie to herself, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t enjoying herself.
It seemed like his friends were as close as her, Lulu, and Lauren. For whatever reason, that made her happy for him.
It wasn’t until she stumbled across a picture of him and a beautiful woman at what appeared to be a cabin that she felt her stomach drop. Was it because of that gorgeous smile he wore with his arm around her shoulder? Or was it because she was drop-dead gorgeous and looked comfortable enough standing close to him that Emma found an old friend–or more like an enemy–returning whom she tried not crossing paths with?
Jealousy was not an emotion she cared for. She might not have grown up lonely, but she did grow up envious. Thankfully, with a lot of self-work and guidance from the therapy she’d gone to as an adult, Emma didn’t feel in a constant state of envy anymore. She felt thankful for what she had and focused on gratitude for the good parts of her life and how it all played out. Of course, it used to be easy and still could be at times, to get in a mindset of wishing she had what felt like everyone else did. Back then, it was a mom and dad who loved their children, today it could easily be whatever society preached was a normal life for someone her age; a stable job, marriage, group of friends, routines, and traditions, you name it.
However, she’d learned to grow aware of those thoughts and not feed into them. No one created a happy life by choosing to live miserably, or at least that’s what she always told herself.
So no, she didn’t like the pang of jealousy creeping in at the edges, especially whenever she had no right to feel that way. She and Cam weren’t anything. Yet, she didn’t want him to have anything with this woman either. Not in the past. Not in the present. Not ever. However, that line of thought wasn’t going to serve her.
Besides, she already knew he was a single man with no one waiting on him back home. He told her as much and she trusted him.
So what to do with this unwanted green tinting her vision?
She ended up not having to worry about it because at that moment she heard the door’s lock click and it swung open. She popped up from where she’d been lounging and went to where she could see the entryway. Cam walked into the room like the sun rose into the sky. He was radiating good vibes.
“I take it he didn’t try to send you to the bottom of the ocean then?” Emma asked humorously.
Cam grinned and boy did it melt her insides and erase that previous thought of loneliness. Great, she thought. She wouldn’t become one of those codependent people in a relationship. Not that this was a real relationship.
“If it wasn’t for all the ones he reeled in there at the end, he just might’ve considered it.”
Emma laughed. “You out-fished him?”
“At first, but it was just luck. We both brought in a good amount.” He was still grinning, probably hadn’t stopped since he made his first cast. It’d just been one of those really good days where he got to do something he loved without a care in the world.
Well, besides a little someone who he now stood in front of again. All afternoon he’d thought how lucky he was to be out fishing and get to come back to this room and spend time with Emma. He was just glad she was actually here and not still hanging with her friends, even if that did make him selfish. As the week came closer to its end, he found himself wanting to soak up his time with her.
“What’d you do with the fish?” she asked, wondering if Henry had some sort of plan to fly it back home with them.
Cam shook his head, a look of disbelief and awe crossing his face. “You won’t believe this,” he started, continuing into the room. “Henry told them to prepare it like normal and paid in full, refusing to let me chip in or add to the tip of our charter, then he said give the fish to the next customer who didn’t have any luck or someone who could use it.”
She nodded, not looking too surprised. “He’s a generous man. Always has been. If you weren’t there with him to know about it, I can guarantee you he wouldn’t have told us either. He’s not one of those who brags about his good deeds.”
Cam leaned against the wall, not daring to get comfy before he showered. Hell, he was probably already stinking up the place. Though, the way Emma’s eye kept sliding over his body made him feel like he couldn’t be that gross. Or maybe he was reading too much into it.
“I wonder why,” he said aloud, his hand rubbing his chin.
Emma hesitated, not because it was a secret or that Henry would care, but as someone who didn’t like people discussing her when she wasn’t there. She decided to explain though. “He grew up with nothing. Then whenever he got a dime to his name and his good looks as he likes to say,” she let out a laugh. “He met his ex-wife, Lulu and Lauren’s mom, who thought he was loaded. Whenever she realized a life with him meant constant giving back and keeping what she considered to be very little, she left him and took everything she could.”
At Cam’s raised brows, all of this being new knowledge to him, she added, “It’s no secret. He talks about it whenever it comes up. He says he doesn’t and will never regret his decisions. Says he came from nothing and can take nothing to the grave, so why not share his good luck with others.”
“More like hard work,” Cam said, thinking about the man’s time and commitment to get to where he was today.
“You say hard work, he says a lucky blessing to be able to do something he’s good at for as long as they’ll let him.”
Cam smiled at that. The more he learned about Henry, the more he aspired to be like the man in more ways than one. “Interesting.” He let out a sigh then scooped his hat off his head and tossed it by the TV.
For some ridiculous reason, Emma found that to be a very sexy act. His untamed hair was sticking up all over the place and she found herself wishing that Lauren and Asher would take their old room back after all, if for nothing more than to sweet talk him into the real deal next time.
“Where’s your mind at?” Cam asked, noticing the hungry look in Emma’s eyes.
She snapped to attention, hoping her cheeks didn’t start turning red. “Nothing. Nowhere.” She knew better than to indulge in the delicious delicacy that was standing right in front of her. It would be too messy, or maybe not with the week almost over. Which meant it could be too risky and dangerous, if not for her charade then for her heart.
He walked by her, a slow and sexy grin spreading on his face. “If you say so.” He bent to grab his suitcase from where it sat zipped and upright on the floor, but something else caught his attention. He reached out, grabbed the phone off the bed, and took a closer look.
It took Emma a moment to realize what was happening then she was shooting across the hotel room to try and wrangle her phone from his hands.
“Oh no you don’t,” Cam said, raising his arms to keep it out of her reach.
“Give that to me!” She tried jumping which only resulted in him laughing. So she went for his arms, working to pull them back down.
“Was somebody creeping on me again today?” he asked in a teasing voice.
She jumped again, catching part of the phone and pulling it down, then it was a rush of tangled arms and hands, both trying to secure the small device.
“You wish,” she shot.
He let out a laugh then a grunt as her elbow accidentally made contact with his stomach. She shot him an apologetic look, though still unwilling to stop her determined attempt to get her phone back. Cam twisted her around until she was in his arms, the phone in her hand but unable to be moved as he held her there.
Emma was instantly more aware of the muscles wrapped around her and the pool of liquid it stirred in her than the phone now.
“I think you were,” Cam said against her ear.
She shrugged. “Maybe I was. So what?”
“Did someone miss me while I was gone today?”
She tried to play it off, though her body was vibrating with alertness at being this close to him again. Then she felt the unexpected.
Cam grazed his teeth over her ear before rolling a small part between his lips and letting go of it. “I think you did.”
“Did you want me to miss you?” Her heart was going to pound out of her chest and land right here on the floor.
He smiled into her hair, fully aware of how damn amazing she smelt, like the salt, ocean, a summer’s breeze, and a floral rose perfume. He took a deep breath. “There are much better pictures of me than that one,” was his reply.
Emma remembered what picture she’d been eyeing when he got back and a bit of humiliation and refueled jealousy hit her. Knowing she’d likely be better off not asking, she did so anyway. “Is there any particular reason you’re not fond of that picture?”
Reluctantly, Cam let his hold go on Emma, mainly because he didn’t need her knowing he was already at half-mast just by being so close to her. Damn, she had way too much power over him. She turned around as he stepped back. “No, not really. There’s just better ones than that one.”
“Who is she?”
“Not you,” he said before he could stop himself.
Her brow raised, as did her heart rate and the fire he caused in her.
Cam rolled his neck for a moment then explained. “Her name is Phoenix, and we’re just friends. She’s one of Slone’s friends and they work together.”
“Did you ever date?” She should stop while she’s ahead.
“No, and the more we got to know each other from hanging out with the same people the more I think it’s safe to say we would both laugh at the idea. We’re just friends, nothing more.”
It’d be a lot less obvious how happy that made her if she would’ve refrained from smiling, but she couldn’t stop it from happening.
“I did flirt with her a little that weekend, and then I realized I would never move to a small town to date her so I didn’t bother the second night.”
Her smile turned to a very unenthused smile. “You couldn’t of stopped at the ‘nothing more’ part?”
He chuckled, gently lifting her chin with his finger and thumb. “I wanted to test a theory.”
“Oh, yeah? And what’s that?” she asked, still unenthused.
“If I like it when you get jealous over me.” She didn’t think his grin could grow any bigger, but yep, it could. “And turns out I do.”
“I’m not jealous,” she said, pushing his hand away, though what good that did she didn’t know because he only laughed and picked up his suitcase.
“Keep telling yourself that.” He dug out some clothes to sleep in.
“You’re full of it.” She knew he was right. He knew he was right. But she felt like planting her flag on this hill anyway.
He clearly wasn’t buying it because on his way to the bathroom, she heard him say with a laugh, “Keep scrolling down and you’ll discover my summer of shirtless selfies in no time,” then the shower kicked on and Emma found herself doing just that.