14. Chapter 11
Sloan
Ihaven’t been on a first date since my first date with Tanner, when he seemed motivated, charming, and his domineering side seemed like a green flag. Little did I know it was actually his whole identity.
The thought of going on a first date with Jax makes my stomach twist and turn… in a good way, but I’m also not sure it’s the right time.
Once I was away from his vortex, I decided thinking about it for a bit might be better than making a rash decision, so now I’m sitting on the couch and scrolling through social media to clear my brain for a moment.
I always think better after decompressing, and that interaction with Tanner was intense.
Being so close to kissing Jax was intoxicating in the best way. He smells like a mix of ocean air, freshly cut grass, and spring breeze. I couldn’t get enough, and when he was a breath away, all I wanted was to taste him.
“What can we expect from the game today?” My own voice pulls me from my wandering mind, accompanied by Jax’s bright blue eyes staring back at me through the screen.
It’s a clip from our interview, only the angle has been cropped so all you see is his face.
It doesn’t surprise me, he’s Mango Bay’s most eligible bachelor. Fans flock to him every game for a selfie or autograph. The girls in the surrounding stands were full of giggles and stares.
It’s followed by a few clips of videos he made before the game. The algorithm does an amazing job of bringing you more of the things you want to see, and I want to see more of him.
I grin as the videos play, especially the walkup he did with the three year old a while back. It’s still circulating, and has some of the highest views I’ve ever seen.
It’s not until the third or fourth video of the show pops up where I’m completely cut out that I start to look at the comments, because this has never happened before.
This video in particular is about 10 minutes long, and every once in a while you see my elbow or hand. I think maybe for a split second half of my face was showing.
The first few commenters are making remarks about his eyes, the scruff on his face, and how sexy it is… They’re not wrong, but the further I scroll, the more comments I come across that make me question my credibility as a podcaster.
Moonshotfan: Sloan Barrett doesn’t even need to be there.
Mangobay123: This is the most entertaining this show has been in a long time. Football player does not equal a podcaster.
User34255: She’s got a face for the camera, but looks like the fans like his better.
Against my better judgement, I scroll back to the previous videos, and the comments there are about the same.
The pang in my chest at the thought of being replaced by some of the players is back. I know I have filmed shows for other teams, but the Moonshots are the ones who invite me back the most.
That thought sends me spiraling.
What if Horner is just trying to do me a favor?
What if he feels bad for me after my football career ended?
Oh my god. Tanner is doing this out of pity too.
I slam my phone down and rush into the kitchen to get a glass of water.
Chill the fuck out, Sloan.
The embarrassment that washes over me is too strong. I’m better than this.
Deep down, I know better than to ever read comments. People are ruthless. It’s being in the public eye 101.
NEVER. READ. THE COMMENTS.
I can’t date him and then lose my job to him and his teammates. How would that even work? Falling for him and then handing my job over to him and what? Watching every game from the stands as his girlfriend.
No thanks.
I pour myself a glass of wine.
It’s official, I’ve talked myself into a complete frenzy, and right out of a date with him.
Me: I can’t go out with you. It’s too complicated. I hope you understand.
A few minutes go by before he responds. The read receipt came through right away, and at first I thought he was blowing me off, but then the familiar bubbles started dancing on the screen.
Jax: Sure. No biggie. I’ll see you at the next game.
I don’t know what I expected him to respond, but that one threw me. It stung.
“What else is there to say?” I ask myself as I reread the message.
Me: I hope we can still be friends.
Delete.
Me: I’m sorry.
Delete.
Me: Maybe I need more time.
Delete.
“What in the hell do I say back to that?” I yell into the dark room.
My phone buzzes again with a notification of a new text… not from Jax. I close our thread and open the new one.
Tanner: I rearranged your schedule. You’re covering the next three Moonshine games. Ali and I talked and think it’s best for ratings that we diversify the show a little more. Can’t just be baseball. It’s time for a little football in the mix.
Me: That sounds more like an emotion driven decision from a bitter ex.
That one I don’t delete.
“Ugh!” I scream, throwing my phone onto the counter.
My phone buzzes again, and when I see it’s Tanner’s name instead of Jax, I ignore it and drink straight from the bottle.
I call Ali and am surprised when it almost goes to voicemail. Surely she knew I’d call after she talked to Tanner.
“Hey,” she says, like nothing happened.
“Hey?” sarcasm coats my voice.
“What’s with the attitude?”
“I just got a text from Tanner and he told me the two of you decided I needed to cover more than just the Moonshots. Now I’m covering the Moonshines. You know how hard it’s going to be for me to cover those games.”
“What?” she sounds pissed. “He thought it would help with rating. I told him if you were comfortable with that, it might be a good goal for next quarter.”
“Well, according to him, you both decided it was best.”
“You know me better than that, Sloan.” I can tell by the tone of her voice she’s now pissed at me instead of him, and I don’t blame her.
Tanner’s jealousy is getting the best of me, and I’m taking it out on her.