28. Chapter 25
Sloan
Iwake up to the sound of my phone vibrating on my nightstand.
When I first heard it, I thought it was just a text message from Jax texting me good morning, or Ali checking in.
I was having a hard time pulling myself out of the blanket of sleep, so I decided it could wait a few minutes.
Until it started buzzing for the second time mere seconds after it stopped the first time, and I realized it had to be the only person who would call me over and over until I answered.
“What do you want, Tanner?” I say with a groggy voice.
I didn’t even bother to look at the name on the screen. My nerves told me it was him, and they were right.
“What is it about me going out of town that makes you do stupid shit?” His voice is dark and demeaning.
I sit up straight, my hackles up, “Excuse me?” I knew this was coming.
This is what we planned for when Jax and I decided to derail the interview and turn the spotlight on my past. I knew it would make him angry.
He didn’t approve it. He’d be worried I’d get ballsy and start doing this more often.
Even baiting him, and drawing this reaction out of him, it pisses me off. He’s such a dick.
“You think you can just go rogue? Do whatever the hell you want and there will be no fall out?”
“What fall out are you insinuating?” I ask, really getting irritated now.
“I’m not getting into it with you. You’ve been nothing but difficult the entire time no matter what I do to try and help your career. Because in case you forgot, Sloan, I picked up the shattered pieces of your career and gave you a new direction.”
This is the straw that broke me.
“Really?” I huff. “How noble of you. It takes a real knight in shining armor to fuck someone else behind your girlfriend’s back and break up with her while she’s lying in a hospital bed.
Let’s be clear, the only reason we’re in this situation is because you manipulated me into signing my contract over to you under the premise that we loved each other. ”
This is not what Jax and I had planned. I’m supposed to kiss his ass, bait him into being the one who loses his shit, but my emotions get the best of me.
“Regardless of how it started, I’m your boss and you violated your contract.
I submitted a complaint with production management and if they agree that your interview violated our terms, I’ll have their support in pursuing the termination of our contract due to signee violation.
” I can hear the smirk in his voice. I just walked right into the shit I was trying to avoid.
“I told them I’d advise you of the complaint. They’ll be in contact with you soon.”
He hangs up the phone without another word, leaving me regretting my decision to answer the phone half asleep.
“Fuck,” I cry out into the empty room. “Fuck, fuck, fu—” my words fall off as sobs fill the space the words left behind.
I’m not sure how long I’m laying there when my phone rings again, but the sound only makes my cries more desperate.
Again, I answer without looking at the screen, knowing Tanner’s next call had to be Ali.
“Al. I— What?” Tears continue rolling down my cheeks, and I can’t make them stop.
Click.
The call ends, and I look at the screen confused. The confusion only grows when I see Jax’s name above where it says “Call ended”.
I immediately call him back, but it goes to voicemail.
I scramble out of bed, discarding my sleep shirt and throwing on a hoodie and gym shorts. I grab the hair tie off my night stand and tie my hair up in a knotted messy bun and then rush to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
He’s going to confront him.
Jax has been supportive this entire time, but the look in his eyes anytime we talk about Tanner is dark and menacing.
Jax and I aren’t official, our kiss on the field sealed a start, but it doesn’t take much to read the writing on the wall. We’re as together as two people can be—label or not—and right now he’s pissed.
I think.
I’ve never seen him pissed.
All of these thoughts are racing through my mind as I grab my purse and keys and head for the car, but when I open my door, he’s standing there with his arm raised like he’s getting ready to knock.
“Oh, shit,” I say, taking a deep breath. “You scared the shit out of me.”
He’s void of the warm affectionate gaze he usually possesses. “What happened?”
He pushes his way past me, and sets his keys on the table by the front door. When I don’t answer he gets impatient.
“Sloan!” He raises his voice, and it startles me. It’s not a yell, but it’s not his usual voice either. There’s a bite to it. “What happened? Who made you cry?”
He takes me in and I see his eyes visibly soften as they run over my appearance. He frames my face between his hands and leans his forehead against mine. “Who did this?” he asks, wiping a tear from my cheek.
When I don’t answer him, he picks me up, cradles me in his arms, kicks the front door closed, and carries me to the couch. He slowly lowers himself onto the couch, still holding me, and lays soft kisses to the top of my head as he pushes my hair out of my face.
He sits with me for almost an hour. The silence between us is palpable, but he doesn’t ask any more questions. He just holds me while I cry.
When my nerves have settled, and the tears run dry, I speak.
“Tanner called. I baited him just like we planned. Then he got the best of me, and I lost it. I couldn’t find the words to bring up the video.
I couldn’t find the patience to get him to threaten my career.
I never even hit record on my phone. I just lost my shit.
” I pause. “He filed a complaint with the production management team. If they agree that I acted without his permission, they’ll back him in court. ”
“We knew this would be his move. You getting mad didn’t ruin anything, Sloan. It just set us back a few days.” His words are calm and reassuring. A stark contrast to his words an hour ago.
“Look at me,” he says. “Let’s order breakfast to be delivered, make some coffee, and both calm down so we can make a plan.”
“I thought you were going to confront him,” I say.
He looks at me confused.
“I was leaving to find you, I was worried you might do something dumb after you hung up on me,” I explain.
He laughs at that, “I was pissed, I heard you cry and I saw black. I just wanted to make it stop. But you didn’t tell me anything. I assumed it was him, but I didn’t know for sure.”
“You seem better now,” I say with a sniffle.
“I’m not.” His voice is flat and matter of fact.
“Oh.”
This also makes him chuckle. “Oh?”
“You calmed down pretty fast after you got here. You went from ready to kill someone to cuddling me on the couch.”
“You didn’t need me to lose my shit. You needed someone to be here. It doesn’t change my feelings, but I’m not mad at you, so why would I take those feelings out on you? I love you, and I want to show up for you the way you need me.” He kisses me. “What sounds good?”
He adjusts me on the couch so he can get his phone, while I sit up straighter on his lap and stare at him.
“Do you want something sweet, more savory? What abou—” He stops mid sentence and stares back at me. “What’s wrong?”
I blink a few times before speaking. “You—” I swallow, “love me?”
“What?” He looks confused. Did I hear him wrong?
“You just said you love me.”
He blinks, clearly trying to play his words back in his mind.
When he finally speaks, his words surprise me. “Yes, I do.”
They’re so definite. Not an ounce of regret or uncertainty in them.
I search for it, just to be sure, but come up empty. His eyes, his grip on my hip. He’s all so sure.
“We barely know each other,” I suggest.
“I know enough.”
“Jax.”
“You don’t have to say it back, Sloan. You don’t even have to feel it.
You’re right, we did just start talking not too long ago.
We’ve barely scratched the surface of who the other is, but Sloan, I’ve been getting to know you for a long time.
I watched you when you played. Every post game interview, every interaction with fans and locals here in town, I learned a lot about you by the way you handled losing your career.
” He laughs. “It sounds creepy as fuck coming out of my mouth right now, but I’ve paid attention, Sloan.
I know who you really are, and I love who I see.
I admire her. I respect her. There’s not a timeline in your heart.
I didn’t even realize I said it because I just feel it.
” He slides his hand over my leg. “I knew I loved you—the person you are—the moment I saw you. You’re caring and genuine, and so fucking brave.
Brilliant. That’s all I need to know. My best reality is one where you love me back one day, but that’s not today, and I know that.
I have no expectations here, other than you just letting me love you. ”
It took me a few minutes to digest what he said. I lay my head back on his shoulder, and the rest of the world melts away. Tanner is gone, the stress of my contract, my disappointment in myself, it all disappears.
“I can let you love me,” I finally say.
“Good.” His voice smiles.
“I don’t love you yet,” I admit nervously.
“Good,” he says in the same tone.
This makes me shoot up. That’s not the response I was expecting.
“I want to know what it feels like to hear it when you mean it, and I don’t want you to say it until you do.” He kisses me again. “But I’m going to say it every chance I get, because I believe you should say it when you mean it. No matter who it’s to. That person should know what they mean to you.”
“It doesn’t hurt you?” I ask, not wanting that to be the case.
“No.”
“Ok.”
“People don’t fall in love at the same time, Sloan. That’s not love—that’s a habit. Everyone’s heart falls at a different pace, mine just fell a little faster.”
Curiosity gets the best of me. “Who else have you said I love you to?”
“My mom and dad. My little sister. Every time I talk to them or see them. Sometimes just in text. My grandparents, when they were alive. My aunts, uncles and cousins, and Ozzie.”
I start crying again, but not as hard, and not out of frustration. “You tell Oscar you love him?”
“Every day.”
I don’t know why I need to know this, but I ask anyway. “Does he say it back?”
“Every day.”
Holy shit. That’s the cutest thing in the world.
It takes me a second to recover from the thought of him and Ozzie saying I love you, but when I do, I decide it’s time for us to figure ourselves out.
“Jax. What is this?” I ask, gesturing between us.
“I know what I want, I’ve wanted it for a long time. What do you want it to be?” he asks in return.
“I’m afraid of what this could be,” I admit. “But I’d like us to be together.”
“Ok. Then we’re together.” His smile is so bright. He looks like I just told him he gets to go to Disney World or something.
“Jax,” I say, slapping his arm.
“What?” he laughs.
“Why are you being so cavalier about this? Shouldn’t we talk about it?”
“Why do you have so many rules for yourself?” he teases. “What in the world is there to talk about? I love you. You don’t love me yet, but you want us to be together. I also want us to be together. So, we’re together.”
“I don’t know. It just feels so… ordinary. Like it’s just another day. Are we supposed to—” He cuts me off.
“Sloan. There are no rules here.” His lips are now a breath away. “But if you’d like there to be some big moment, let me take you back to bed.”
“Jax,” I say sarcastically, bumping his shoulder with mine.
“Ok. I have an idea,” he says as the familiar ring of a FaceTime call fills the room. The prettiest woman I’ve ever seen pops on the screen. She has sandy blonde hair and brilliantly blue eyes, just like Jax, and her smile when she sees him takes over her entire face.
“Hi baby,” she says and then the screen is abruptly turned revealing an older version of Jax. I thought he resembled his mom until I saw his dad.
“Hi,” Jax says. “There is someone I want you guys to meet. He turns the phone towards me, and his mom gently places her hands over her mouth hiding her grin. “This is Sloan, my girlfriend.”
“Hi Sloan,” his dad says. “Jax, your sister’s going to be mad she missed this.”
He turns to me. “My sister’s working. We’ll call her later.”
We talk to his parents for about an hour, drinking coffee together, laughing, and I listen to them making jokes back and forth. My chest tightens, and my eyes sting.
Jax will never get to experience this with my dad.