Chapter 45 – QUINN
QUINN
“It’s real,” Rhett tells them. “We met back in March after I interviewed. Neither of us knew who the other was, but we continued to text each other for months.”
Crew nods as if he knew this already. Sorta.
I mean, he knew I had someone I had been texting with back in the spring, but I never talked about it beyond that.
I never brought it up with my brothers or parents.
I think I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
For him not to be as perfect as he appeared. I’ve gotten trigger-shy with men.
With everything personal about me.
“Honestly, I think I was falling for her even back then,” Rhett continues. “It stopped when we ran into each other and realized who the other was.”
“So, the start of the season…” Asher trails off.
“We weren’t anything,” I tell him, even as my body is starting to give up and beg for mercy.
I want to get back into bed and sleep for a thousand years.
“We knew it was wrong. We didn’t want to hurt the trust you had in him as his coach.
And of course, there was the whole Russel thing. We avoided each other for two months.”
“It was a nightmare,” Rhett admits ruefully, thinking back over those months.
The months when he’d watch me while I was running, or stare at me on the sidelines of the field.
“I can’t tell you the guilt I felt, but I also didn’t know how to stop thinking about her.
You took a chance on hiring me as the head coach, Asher, and I also wanted to be the best coach I could be to you.
” He points at both Crew and Mason. “Plus, Russel was now on the team, and I knew the only reason he was there was because of me.”
“It was my idea to keep it a secret,” I admit trying to save him from taking all the blame and falling entirely on his sword when it’s not only him who did wrong. “We didn’t want to impact your season or be a distraction. And we felt we needed time to see if what we have is the real deal.”
Rhett chuckles, though there isn’t much humor to it.
“It’s been the real deal for me for a long time.
Even when I knew it shouldn’t be.” He sighs and leans back against the windowsill, his hands on the ledge behind him.
“I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry. I never meant to cause turmoil or distractions or any drama.
I simply fell in love with the one girl I couldn’t have. ”
“She’s a lot younger than you are,” my dad points out.
“I know.” Rhett shrugs. “But I love her.” He glances down at me. “I love you. I feel as though I’ve said it to everyone this morning but you, when you’re the one who needs to hear it.”
My head is back against the chair, and my eyes are heavy. It’s a struggle to keep them open. I’m completely wiped out, and dealing with all of this isn’t good for my headache, which I suppose is my concussion. But whatever.
He crouches in front of me despite the audience and cups my cheek.
“This isn’t what you need right now. You should be resting and regaining your strength.
And I sure as hell hadn’t planned to tell you how I felt through Russel or even your family.
But I meant it. I love you, Quinn. No matter what happens next, I love you.
You’re the one I see myself with. In fact, I can’t imagine my life without you anymore. ”
His words tickle something within me. A sweet spot that is almost a déjà vu. A place I’ll keep this forever. Something that tells me that I don’t have to hold so much of myself back anymore because he’s not going to be yet another person I have to survive heartache from.
“I love you too.” Then I turn to my family. “Did you catch that? Because I’m saying it for all of you. I love Rhett Butler Jones.”
“Butler?” Crew snickers before he mutters, “That’s a rough one,” under his breath.
He chuckles at Crew’s barb and kisses me chastely on the lips.
His lips meet my forehead, and he stays beside me in a crouch for a long moment with his eyes closed and his body close to mine.
“I’m sorry I hid it from you, and I sincerely hope it doesn’t rock your faith in me as a coach.
I love my job. I love this team. I love being here.
I give it my all and that won’t change no matter what.
But I completely understand if you feel as though you need to go in a different direction, given the choices I’ve made.
That said, if you do, I don’t plan to leave Boston or Quinn unless she kicks me out of town, but that would be between her and me.
As for Russel…” He trails off with a grunt, his eyes closing mournfully.
“I heard what he said about betting,” Asher tells him.
“Yes. Evidently, he’s in deep, and it’s been going on for a while.
I’m so sorry. You brought him here on good faith that things would change, and I’ve delivered you and the team into a storm.
” He drags a hand across his jaw and up through his hair, messing it up even more. “Goddamn, you really should fire me.”
My dad chuckles. “Probably. But I also believe you didn’t know.”
“I didn’t,” Rhett assures them. “I had no clue. I never would have brought him here if I had known all that was going on with him. Truthfully, I would have tried to get him help. He never wanted it from me, but I still would have tried.”
Russel may be gone to Rhett, and I do feel bad about that, but Russel is a toxic waste dump in a nice neighborhood. He’s bringing down all of our property values, and it’s time we cut him loose and get rid of the stink.
“I will discuss it with Randolph, but at the very least, he’s off the team.”
Rhett nods. “I know. He should be. Whether I’m the coach or not, I wholeheartedly agree with that decision.” He drops another kiss on my forehead and pops upright. “I’m going to step out and let you be with her. I’ll be in the waiting room.”
With a wink, he leaves the room, and silence ensues.
Well, that happened.
“You knew?” I question Crew.
His green eyes slay mine. “Are you trying to piss me off more? Of course I knew. We all did. Because we fucking know you, Quinnten! Especially me. I’m your goddamn twin. I know you better than anyone.”
“You do, Crewcut. I’m sorry. Also don’t shout so loud.”
He releases a tense breath. “Crap. I’m sorry. But I thought you might not wake up and then we heard you were awake and we not only learn that our twat of a teammate is a cheating, betting motherfucker but you’re also sleeping with our coach.”
That’s impossible to argue, so all I go with is, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was… afraid. Or not ready yet. I don’t know. He seemed too good to be true. You know, minus the whole older dude, coach of the Rebels, ex-boyfriend’s dad thing.”
That gets a half smile from Crew and a big smile from Mason. “We thought it was likely the same guy from the spring, and you were simply being cautious,” Crew acknowledges. “We didn’t know you were in love, and I sure as shit didn’t know it was my coach.”
“We literally didn’t know who the other was until we’d already been texting for months. By the time we figured it out, we already liked each other a lot. Then we backed off but it didn’t work.”
“He’s your smile,” my mother states.
“What?” my father clips out. He’s having a tough time with this, and I get it. In a lot of ways, I get it. He’s in a hell of a predicament.
“Her smile, Asher. Have you not seen it? Our daughter has been smiling again. Extra smiles. Smiles beyond work and friends and family. Smiles that light up her insides.”
“I’ve seen it,” Mason admits. “Crew has too.”
“Yes. I’ve seen it,” my father comes back with, even if it’s a bit resigned. “But…” He comes over to me. “You really love him? He’s a lot older than you. Like he’s quite possibly closer in age to me than he is to you.”
“I’m twenty-eight, Dad. I’m a surgeon. I’m not a kid. I know my heart. He’s a good man. I wouldn’t be with anyone less again. I have the best role model for that.”
He rolls his eyes. “Now you’re sucking up.”
I half-grin, my waning energy practically on empty. “But it’s also true. I have you and Mason and Crew. I’ve seen the way you love Mom, and I’ve seen the way Mason loves Sorel. That’s how Rhett loves me. Now that we’ve cleared that up, can someone help me back into bed?”
That seems to snap my family out of their revelatory stupor. My mother springs into action first.
“Crew, get off the bed and get on her other side.”
“You’re going to need to go slow,” I tell them.
My father is losing his mind. “Quinn, can I just pick you up?”
“Only if you want to tear her stitches and make her scream in pain,” my mother reprimands. “Crew, I want you in front of her. I’ll be at her back.”
“What can I do?” Mason asks.
“Get me some ice chips, please?” I ask. “And maybe tell my nurse I’d love her forever if she could give me some Zofran.”
“What’s Zofran?” my dad questions. “Is that pain medicine?”
“No, it’s for nausea,” my mother explains. “Do we need an emesis basin?”
“Not at the moment,” I state, shifting to the end of the chair so they can get me up easier, but I legit just want to sleep. “I want to get back into bed.”
“I’ll go with you,” my father says, and he and Mason leave the room.
“I’m really upset with you,” Crew tells me.
“I know. Yell at me in a minute.”
His jaw locks. “I can’t yell at you. You’re in pain and in love. Like, what the fuck, Quinnerys?”
I’d smile at that if I had the energy. “So sorry Crewstone.”
He laughs and gets right in front of me, his hands on the arms of the recliner on either side of my body. “So glad you’re back, sis.”
“Same, bro. But can we do this?”
“Yeah. Sorry!”
“On three,” my mother calls us back. “One. Two. Three.”
I suck in a breath and hold it in as I work to stand. My mother and Crew help me along, but Jesus, Mary, and Pope Leo, this is excruciating. My head swims, and a fierce wave of nausea hits me.
“Stop. Oh god.” I don’t want to throw up. Please, I don’t want to throw up.
My eyes close, and the worst sort of cold sweat breaks out all over my body. Crew is in front of me, holding me up while my mother is behind me.
“Crew. Tell me you have her,” my mother demands.
“I have her.” His arms are around me with most of my weight against his big chest. “I’ll never drop her. Not ever.”
“Mom, I don’t want to throw up, but I’m really close to doing just that.”
“Don’t move. Either of you.”
My mother releases me and runs into my bathroom. I hear the tap turn on and a second later, she’s back with a cold, wet cloth that she puts on my forehead.
“Slow, even breaths, Quinn. Nothing too deep. Crew, hold her steady.”
“I’m deadweight.”
“You’re nothing compared to the weight I’m used to lifting. Lean all you want.”
My heart fills, my cup so full.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” I feel like a little girl, but right now I don’t care. There is something so incredible about having your mother with you when you need her the most, and knowing your twin always has you no matter what—literally.
“Me too.” My mother presses the cloth, but I can feel her worried eyes boring into the side of my face. “Tell us when you’re ready.”
The cloth helps, and after another few seconds, I give them a nod, and they help me into bed. Crew climbs in beside me and rests on his side without pressing in on me. Considering how big of a guy he is, it’s an amazing feat.
“Quinnious?”
“I’m okay, Crewster.”
“Press this,” my mom instructs, handing me the button for my pain medicine.
I happily click it and close my eyes, hating how weak I am.
How long will it take for me to get back to full speed?
It’ll be weeks at least out of the OR. The thought makes me a little anxious, but I have to learn to manage it.
It’s what Crew said to me in the hotel that morning. The bigger picture is what I have to focus on right now.
My mom puts the cloth back on my forehead, and I sigh, a beat away from falling asleep.
“I like him. I’m mad you didn’t tell me. But if you love him, I’m good.”
I smile at that.
“Thank you.” I hear my father and Mason return. Some ice chips are placed by my mouth with a spoon, and I gratefully open and take them on my tongue to suck on. “Are you going to fire him, Dad?”
“Quinn, we can talk about it later. You can’t even keep your eyes open, and you need rest.”
“We both knew it was wrong and didn’t want to hurt anyone or compromise the team or your season. Rhett really struggled. I did too, given everything, but it was harder for him.”
“But you love him.” That’s Mason, and it’s not a question.
“I do,” I tell him. “I wasn’t expecting him, but it’s real.”
“You hid it from us.”
“I’m sorry,” I say to my dad, my voice heavy with exhaustion. “Not worth fucking up lives if it’s not worth it. I tried to hold myself back. I really did. And we wanted to be sure. I wanted to be sure. In case you didn’t know this, I’ve been burned before. But he is.”
Knock, knock. “Sorry to interrupt,” my nurse says. “I’m here with your Zofran, hon.”
“Thank you,” I manage.
“All right. Everyone out,” my mom declares. “She needs to rest.”
“I’m staying,” Crew tells her. “I won’t bother her, but I’m not leaving her either.”
“You really shouldn’t be in her bed,” the nurse admonishes. “This is the ICU.”
“I shared a womb with her,” Crew tells her in a tone that’s not to be argued with. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I smile. At least I think I do. “Umbilical cords unite.”
“For life,” he replies and kisses my temple.
“Love you all. And don’t be too rough with Rhett.”