Chapter 23 #2
“So, you did it. You made shit a hell of a lot more complicated!” Stavros says good-naturedly.
I laugh. Nod. “Guys, I’m going to be a father,” I announce to the team.
My teammates’ eyebrows shoot up. Surprise crosses some of their expressions. Others nod as understanding dawns.
“That’s why you skipped that practice,” Gus murmurs.
“Yeah. Sorry about that,” I fess up.
But no one looks pissed like I expected. Instead, a grudging respect fills my teammates’ eyes. They shake my hand, slap my back, or pull me into a hug, offering their congratulations.
“I wish you the best,” Coach Miller says, surprising the hell out of me.
“Thank you,” I reply.
“But if you ever skip another practice—”
“I know, I know.” I hold up my hands.
The team laughs, I grin, and even Coach shakes his head.
After a quick team meeting, I move through interviews, shower and change, and head home with Bianca to celebrate. Tonight, we’re celebrating a hell of a lot more than today’s win.
“How are you feeling?” I ask Bianca, tracing the purple shadows under her eyes.
“Exhausted,” she admits. “But you look beat too.”
“I haven’t been sleeping well. I’ve been…” I shake my head and drag my hand through my hair. “Has there ever been anything between you and Huntington? Be straight with me.”
“What?” A bubble of laughter escapes Bianca’s throat before she shakes her head.
She leans back on my couch and tucks one of her legs underneath her frame.
“No, no, nothing has ever happened between Andrés and me. He’s just a really, really good friend.
Someone who has always been in my corner. Like Ellie,” she tacks on.
I shake my head. “Ellie has never looked at me, nor I her, the way Andrés studies you. Like he’s scared he might miss something.”
Bianca sighs. She drops her gaze and I don’t miss the way her cheeks heat. “Fine.” She looks back up. “I think Andrés may have feelings for me that are more than platonic.”
“He one-hundred percent does.”
“But I’ve never returned those feelings. I’ve also never wanted to hurt him. He’s a good friend to me and I trust him.”
The back of my neck prickles. While a part of me is sincerely happy for Bianca that she has friends who she trusts, I fucking hate that Huntington is one of them.
“I called him because I knew he would come,” Bianca admits gently, touching my wrist. “And that was selfish, since I suspect he has deeper feelings for me, but in that moment, sitting in that waiting room, I…I needed someone to show up for me.”
My heart twists at the crack in her voice. Guilt rolls through me, coated in shame. I should have shown up. It should have been me in that waiting room, at that doctor’s appointment. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there, Honeybee.”
She shakes her head, her expression softening. “I know you are. And I know it was out of your control.”
“My sister said we have to give each other grace. That we’ll both make mistakes and there’s no such thing as being perfect all the time.”
“Your sister’s right. That’s why I’m here. I had to see you. To have this conversation in person.”
I frown. “What conversation?”
“I want to be honest with you,” Bianca admits. “I already talked to Andrés. That’s why he got me the pass to sit on the sidelines. He knows where we stand…and where I want to stand. With you.”
“Where’s that?” I ask softly, too fucking scared to hope.
“I care about you, Niko. More than just a co-parent. Or just a friend. I think about you. I worry about you. And I…have feelings for you. Feelings that terrify me. That I’m scared to trust. I want to raise our baby together.
For real. I just…we never talked about…us.
Every time you tried, I shut you down. And now, here I am, asking you… can we have this conversation?”
She bites her bottom lip. Nervous. Hopeful.
And my chest cracks wide open. She wants to let me in. She’s trying to. And it’s time for me to take her at face value. “Yeah, Honeybee. Let’s have it.”
Nervous laughter bubbles from Bianca’s lips as she nods.
I reach for her hand and press it between both of my palms.
“I’ll go first, okay?” I let her off the hook.
Relief flickers across her expression as she nods.
“My sister also told me to figure out what the hell I want,” I continue. “Bianca, I never thought I’d become a dad at this phase in my life.”
Her expression shutters and blinders pass over her eyes. She moves to tug her fingers away, but I grip them harder, tighter. Needing her to understand where I’m coming from.
“But now that I am, everything in my life has shifted. It’s all different. Soccer isn’t the most important thing, you and the baby are.”
“What?” she breathes. “Really?”
“Yes. My career doesn’t feel like everything anymore. It feels like one part of an expanding life. I don’t want to miss this.” I gesture toward her stomach. “I don’t want to miss the baby’s milestones. I don’t want to not be present for our child. Or for you.”
“Niko, you’re a professional soccer player.
You’re going to miss things.” She shakes her head.
“Hell, every parent misses things sometimes. But, if I’m being honest, I started spiraling at the doctor’s office thinking of all the things you’ll miss.
All the things I’ll be doing solo, even with you trying to show up. ”
“I know,” I agree, sincerely. “I’d miss a hell of a lot less if I lived closer. If you and I were on the same page. If we were a team…”
She watches me closely, rolling her lips together to hear me out.
“And I know that’s not a good enough reason to be together. But I don’t want to be with you because you’re pregnant with my baby. I want to be with you, Bianca, because I’m falling in love with you. Have been from the first moment I met you when you accused me of being late.”
“You were late,” she huffs.
“I fell a little more when you sent me photos of spinach in your teeth and you in that delectable dress at Luca’s wedding.
I fucking hated that Huntington was at that appointment with you instead of me.
Not because of some male pride or ego but because, I want to be the guy who shows up for you.
I want to be your phone call for a lifeline.
I want a shot with you. We’ll always be a family now.
” I drag my fingertips over her belly, so lightly, my finger twitches.
“But I want a chance to be yours, the way I desperately want you to be mine.”
Bianca’s breath hitches as she stares at me. “You do? For real?” She shakes her head and rubs at the center of her forehead. “You’re not just saying that because I’m here?”
“No, honey.”
“Would you feel this way if it wasn’t for the baby?”
I nod slowly. “I won’t lie, the baby changed the timeline.
But after the weekend we spent together, I was going to chase after you.
Because the way I felt with you in New York was different, more, than I’ve ever experienced with a woman.
And then, the more I got to know you, Bianca, the more I wanted to learn more.
I was worried out of my mind when Chris told me you left work.
I reached out to you all those weeks you ghosted me,” I remind her.
She sputters a laugh. “That’s true.”
“I want this with you, Honeybee. Please, give me a chance to prove it.”
She shakes her head slowly and I feel a blaze of panic move through me.
“I don’t need to give you a chance, Niko.
You’ve been proving it all along. You’ve been showing up since the beginning.
I just…I was scared to trust it.” She looks away and bites her bottom lip.
“That’s why I’m here. I want to prove it to you. ”
“You are.”
“And I want to be completely honest with you,” she continues. “I’ve been burned before. With my ex-boyfriend, Christian. And I still harbor some of that hurt. It seeps in sometimes and makes it easier for me to push you away than to let you in.”
My curiosity piques. This is the first time she’s mentioned this clown, and while I hate that he hurt her, I’m relieved that she’s opening up about it. Even just a little. “Let me work through it with you. Let’s do this together. I’m all in, Honeybee.”
“God, Niko, I want to be. Yes. Let’s…do this.” Her hand drops to her stomach and I press my palm over it.
“I’m going to kiss you again,” I warn, giving her a chance to pull away.
“Finally,” Bianca breathes. She leans forward eagerly and captures my mouth with hers. With our hands pressed against our baby, she wraps her other arm around my neck and tugs me closer.
I lean forward, bracing my other hand on her thigh as I deepen our kiss.
I close my eyes and free-fall into the feeling of Bianca DiBlanco, knowing I’ll never want to come up for air.
Alex told me to figure out what the hell I want.
I want this. Bianca. Our family. Together.