Chapter 34
Gwen
The next morning, I was still reeling from Sabine storming out of the show last night after cutting Astrid and her cronies down to size.
I’d tossed and turned all night with nerves and regret.
When I finally had found sleep, I’d dreamed of Sabine.
Her face, her body, and her running out the door and out of my life.
By the time the sun had peeked through the cabin windows, the bags under my eyes had been as heavy as my duffel sitting at the foot of my bunk.
Though the raw feelings were gnawing, I knew I had to put on my bravest face and sharpest eyeliner wing. It was pickup day, but also the first time Faith and I would be stepping into our new lives.
After breakfast and one last tearful round of goodbyes, Faith and I were across the field, our duffel bags at our feet while we waited for her dad to come get us.
He’d been thrilled to hear that Faith had been adopted into the local coven and that she would be moving in with me to continue our training.
But the excitement I’d been feeling moments ago was replaced by frustration and annoyance.
I’d been counting down the days until I would be reunited with the outside world via my cell phone, but my worries about being forgotten were completely unfounded because there were thousands of messages across my social apps, along with hundreds of texts, missed calls, and a smattering of voicemails.
Scrolling, I saw a thread of missed messages from Brayden. Over two hundred texts over the last several weeks:
brAYDEN
I’m still having nightmares about ponds and lily pads! How could you do that to me?
Later that day, he sent another:
brAYDEN
Gwen, I think you owe me another apology. Ghosting me won’t change what you did!
Brayden had always liked talking to himself more than to me, but apparently, I didn’t even need to be in the room, city, or text thread for him to argue with me.
brAYDEN
Is this some sort of banishment? Ignore me and I won’t tell everyone what you are?
Well, that’s not going to happen. Everyone is going to know that you’re a witchy freak!
I knew that thing you wanted to do in bed was weird. No other girls have ever asked to do that.
I wasn’t into it! You didn’t have to manipulate my anatomy!
I snickered and scrolled several times to newer messages. And boy, was that a mistake because I missed several chapters of whatever Brayden was going through.
brAYDEN
No one’s childhood was perfect, Gwen, but you have no idea what this isolation has done to me!
Don’t you ever tell anyone about that skateboard commercial. I did it for the money.
Well, I knew exactly what I would be reading tonight. I put my phone on silent while all of the notifications flooded in, then tucked it away in my pocket, surprisingly not quite ready to jump back into the world outside of SCUW.
When I looked up, I saw Mom’s beat-up Toyota rolling across the makeshift parking lot. I’d told her not to come.
That was what I wanted, right?
I was sure she wouldn’t have driven all the way here to stop me. But could she have come to see with her own eyes that I really wasn’t going home? Or maybe she was happy for me and just wanted to tell me she was proud?
Yeah, right.
“You have got to be kidding me,” I muttered.
“What?” Faith asked, but I’d already shouldered my duffel bag and started walking at a clipped pace over to Mom’s car.
“I told you not to come,” I said by way of greeting. I crossed my arms as Mom cut the engine and stepped out of the car. “You’ve just wasted a bunch of gas for nothing.”
“Honey, I—”
“You must be Mrs. Morales!” Faith called, interrupting our exchange with her friendly chaos.
“Hi, I’m Faith. I’m from up north and . .
.” She went off, regaling Mom with her story, and Mom oscillated between dutifully listening with a tight-lipped smile and shooting me concerned, apologetic glances.
Eventually, Faith did a vibe check and realized that her chatter wasn’t helping the situation. “Well, I’m going to go grab my backpack.” She hooked a thumb over her shoulder and looked at me. “My dad’s truck will be at the gates any minute now.”
I nodded. Mom and I watched her go, waiting until she was halfway across the kickball field before speaking.
“So, they are letting dads in now?” Mom asked in that passive-aggressive way that I hadn’t minded until now.
“He has to wait at the ward line like everyone else,” I said. “Besides, he’s a vampire. Not a human.”
I didn’t know why I said it other than to hurt her. Apparently, my arrows weren’t the only things hitting bull’s-eyes as of late. I instantly regretted the look in her eyes. Maybe I just wanted her to feel a little of what I was feeling, share the pain I’d been carrying on my own.
Mom’s eyebrows lifted. “I see they’ve done an excellent job indoctrinating you,” she said. “I worried that sending you here was a mistake. But I couldn’t have you turning every bratty emo boy into a toad.”
“I won’t be dating more boys anytime soon.”
“Because you hate humans?” she asked sarcastically, misreading my statement as meaning human boys and not cute witches with red hair and freckles on their nose who liked to stomp on my heart for no good reason. “You hate your father now, hmm? You hate half of yourself?”
I folded my arms and popped my hip, ready to spit out another knife-sharp retort, when I realized I was standing exactly like Astrid.
“Fuck!” I growled as I threw my arms up. I didn’t want to be like Astrid. I just wanted my mom to hear me for once. “I don’t hate Dad,” I gritted out. “And he could’ve met us at the gates too, if he wanted. This place is warded against all non-witches, as you know, not humans specifically.”
“They would’ve made your father’s life miserable if we stayed,” Mom said with a shake of her head.
“There are lots of humans living in town now,” I countered. “You don’t know that it would’ve been so bad if you’d given it a chance.”
“Oh, I do.” She nodded. “I read your letter. You’ve met Astrid, hmm?”
“Ugh, yes. She’s awful.”
“Her mother and I were best friends, practically sisters, and you can imagine how she felt about me falling for a human. She told me she’d never talk to me again if I continued to see him. She ended our friendship, not me.”
I fisted my hands to my side. “But you left right away. Like, she might’ve come around, might’ve apologized.”
Mom scoffed. “I highly doubt it.”
“You never even gave her a chance to try!” I shouted, and other families hastily moved their reunions farther away from us.
“You cut everyone off. You left without even fighting for it.” My words constricted, and I knew then I wasn’t just talking about her.
Sabine had just left without even trying too.
“There was nothing to fight for,” Mom said.
My mouth fell open, angry tears burning down my cheeks. “This coven, this community, this magic is not worth fighting for?”
“That’s not what I meant,” she grumbled, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Look, I just wanted to protect your father. I know it doesn’t make sense right now, but when you love someone, you never want them to be hurt, especially not because of you. And you know your father. He’s . . .”
I could understand it, actually, and I hated that. Dad was a sweet, sensitive guy. He never raised his voice, never lost his temper, and he’d married a fiery witch of a woman who had an equally fiery daughter who would raze an entire city to the ground if people were so much as rude to him.
I knew that kind of love, that kind of loyalty. I’d found it here, of all places—the place my mother had tried to keep me from.
“I think it’s time for you to try again,” I said.
“Gwen—”
“Mom,” I countered in the exact same tone. “It’s been over twenty years since you left. It’s time for you to visit your hometown again. It’s time for you to make amends with the people you once loved.”
“Honey, I don’t think I can do that,” she lamented. “Why don’t we talk about this on the drive home?”
I blinked at her. She really didn’t get it, did she?
She’d trotted me from city to city to chase her own dreams, to build her own life, and I’d always gone along and had never complained.
But now, I was putting my foot down. I was making my own life, not trying to find one that fit around her incessant wanderlust. Funny how the one place she vowed never to return to was the one place I wanted to go.
I shouldered my duffel and shook my head. “If you want to talk to me, come find me in Maple Hollow.”
Mom’s eyes saddened. “You know I can’t.”
“One day you’ll be brave enough to,” I replied. “Until then—” I wrapped her up in a tight hug as more tears spilled down my cheeks. “I love you. Give Dad a hug for me.”
Mom sniffed, holding me just as tightly, her arms the most familiar place in the world. Still, I released her and walked back across the field to find Faith. Mom’s eyes were rimmed with red when I looked back one last time.
It was the first time I’d seen her be truly vulnerable. She’d always been stalwart, my protector. This was the first time I’d truly seen that she was a whole human being, not just a figurehead and mentor in my life. She made mistakes, she was afraid, and she was proud and stubborn and flawed.
It was almost a relief. The person who had held me up for my entire life, who had pushed me to do uncomfortable things, who had encouraged me to do what was right, might need me to be the one who encouraged her this time.
As Faith slung her arm around my shoulders and we wandered down the road, I had no doubt that Mom would make it to Maple Hollow. It was only a matter of time.