22. Shiloh
Shiloh
His tongue slips past mine, making me dizzy, and my chest tightens in anticipation. Our tongues brush and I shiver in his hands as he pulls me tighter, cupping my face in his large hands. I’m totally, completely at his mercy.
Ledger pulls back slightly to let us breathe before he dives in for more.
Warmth pools in my stomach and melts down to my core.
I know without a doubt that I’m safe with this man.
It was not on my bingo card to consider this marriage real, and there was a part of me that thought while we’re married it could be fun, and end it when I leave, but …
the way he holds me, looks at me as if I’m the only one that matters in his world.
It not only scares me, but it makes me crave him more.
I pull back and grab his shoulders to steady myself so I can straddle his lap. He grips my hips, yanking me down.
Looping my arms around his neck, I press my braless chest to his, and the friction sends a spark over my skin. He breathes roughly, sliding his muscular arms around my ribs, and my body melts like butter.
My hips instinctively roll against his, and Ledger groans, pulling back. “I don’t—”
I press a finger to his lips and drag a hand through his hair, making it messy, which I know he doesn’t like.
“Ledger, stop thinking so hard. We can stop if you want, but I’m not asking you to.”
He looks at me with those warm, beautiful brown eyes as his thumbs draw circles over my hips.
“I don’t want you to think that all I want is sex.
I don’t want you to think that I will do right by you to get something out of it.
That’s not what real men do. They don’t use women they care about to satisfy their own needs.
That’s not who I am, and I don’t want to do that to you. ”
I smile, leaning in.
He tilts his head back as I lean into the kiss, his hands drag up my shirt and I pull away.
“You are far too decent a man for me. I don’t think any of those things.
But this whole marriage thing is temporary.
We don’t have to be so serious about it,” I rasp.
It might not be a bad thing if he were. I’m going to leave one day, and if he ever finds out the truth of what I’ve seen, then there’s no way he’ll want to keep me.
But it could be for the best. The last thing I want is to see him get hurt because of me because they think I ratted.
So if it’s all I’ll get from him, then I’m willing to take that risk and live with the future hurt. He’s worth it.
He huffs and lifts his hand, rubbing the pad of his thumb over my lower lip. “Shiloh, I think you know by now I’m more of a no-nonsense guy, and I’m serious about you. I wouldn’t have asked you out if I wasn’t. But if you’re not, then I’d appreciate it if you told me now.”
Part of me wants to scream, and the other part of me wants to strip myself bare to prove my point. Realistically, I am scared. I’m putting my heart on the line again, and I’m the one actively crossing it.
But it’s different this time. Everything about this is different. This time, I’m with a man who I know will do right by me regardless of my answer right here and now.
“I don’t think I’m ready to walk down the aisle tomorrow, even though I already kind of did, but I don’t have eyes for anyone else. Only you, but if that means you need more time, then I can wait if that’s what you want.”
Ledger growls and shakes his head. I can see the indecision in his eyes. He’s awake and on watch. If someone comes, he’ll be ready, but then I threw myself at him, and I’m making it a lot harder for him to respond.
“The ball is in your court when you’re ready,” I whisper and kiss him again before I start to climb off his thighs. I’ll stay awake with him, but I’ll find a seat somewhere else because it’s far too tempting to sit on his lap.
Before I can get down, he tugs me back into the seat and captures my lips.
“You’re very distracting, but you’re not going anywhere,” he growls against my mouth.
I shiver at his tone, and while his lips caress my own, his hands slide under my shirt up my ribs, and his warm palms find my chest.
He gently squeezes before drawing them down my ribs, dragging a moan from my throat.
“I have no intention of taking this further, but I want to make you feel good,” he says into my neck.
Sweat beads at the top of my spine and between my breasts, whimpering from the roughness of his hands against my skin.
“I’m not sure what that means, but yes,” I mumble my head tipped back and my eyes closed, purely focused on the sensations of his skin against mine.
He chuckles and grazes his teeth over my exposed collarbone. “I wouldn’t be doing a very good job if I ignore my surroundings and focus on making you scream my name.”
I sigh as his tongue draws up my neck. “I don’t know, that sounds wonderful,” I mumble.
He grabs the edges of my shirt and yanks it off my body, tossing it away. His mouth captures my nipple and his tongue grazes the hard point. I grab his soft hair, overwhelmed.
“Ledger,” I gasp.
He groans, switching to the other while his thick fingers grab and pinch, making me whimper. “This will have to be enough for now,” he grumbles into my skin.
“Why?” I whine rolling my hips.
He huffs and takes my chin, forcing my eyes to his.
“Because Shiloh, you not only deserve my full attention, but you deserve more than a tired man, sitting in this chair, waiting for your safety to be threatened again. I won’t have that.
When I have you, I will take care of you in all ways, and it certainly won’t be in this damn chair,” he says.
I smile and push his hair back. “My goodness, you know how to sweep a girl off her feet.”
He chuckles. “I’m not known for that, but you do pull something out of me.”
I bite down on my lower lip as the friction of his shirt is like striking a match to every nerve ending in my body. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” I whisper.
His hand slides over my stomach and between my thighs. “You should,” he murmurs and kisses me so deeply my toes curl. I want him everywhere and anywhere. I can make my own choices, and I need this man like I need air.
I reach for his shirt, and he pushes my hands away. “Ah, ah,” he says.
I grumble and cross my arms.
Ledger chuckles and nips my lip. “Let me focus on you,” he rasps, nuzzling his nose into my neck, pressing his lips over my pulse point. I gasp and shiver at the same time, never having felt the sensation before, and I tug on his hair.
He leans back. “You are impatient, aren’t you?” he asks.
I tug his hair in response, and his eyes flare.
“Can’t say I’m surprised,” he mutters and takes my mouth again.
I am totally and completely at his mercy, and I’m happy for it.
I can feel the walls of forced strength crumbling around me.
It’s not because of the way he kisses me, it’s not because his body feels right pressed to mine.
I am tired of being strong. I don’t want to be that anymore, and with Ledger I don’t have to be.
I can let go.
His hand slips beneath my waistband and pauses at the apex of my thighs.
“Shy, look at me,” he commands.
I lift my head from his shoulder and roll my hips at the same time, searching for his fingers.
“Is this okay?” he asks, ignoring the fact that I’m already chasing him with my body.
“Yes. Please, Ledger,” I moan.
He kisses my shoulder before moving his fingers. His groan nearly undoes me. I can feel how much he’s enjoying this too.
“That’s it, Shy, chase it,” he rasps.
His fingers move in sync with my hips until he takes one hand, holding me still. “Let me take care of you,” he says gently, leaving no room for argument.
I bite my lower lip, grabbing his shoulders, looking down at where his hand has disappeared beneath my shorts. His strong hold has me in a vice grip, and it doesn’t matter if I could break free. I don’t want to.
Pressure builds in my core and burns in my chest.
He leans forward, pressing his lips wherever he can reach as his hand quickens.
I moan and he moves faster while his lips find my pulse point, and he sucks on the skin, vaulting me over the edge.
“That’s my girl,” he mumbles.
“Ledg—” my voice breaks. My body is not my own as I let go, falling off the edge, submerging myself in the depths of pleasure.
His hand slows before pulling it from me, leaving a sense of emptiness where he was, and I slowly open my eyes.
His gaze is locked onto me like a predator and prey, making the breath hitch in my lungs.
I take his face and kiss him, swallowing his moan. He pulls back and frowns, gently rubbing a thumb over the top of my lip.
“What?”
“You’re all red, my mustache…” he trails off, and I turn my cheek, biting his finger.
“I like your mustache.”
He chuckles and pulls me in again. “Good, but I’d shave it off for you.”
“No, no, don’t do that. I have ideas for that mustache.”
A chuckle bursts from him. “Been thinkin’ about it, have you?”
I nod rapidly.
He laughs and leans down, grabbing my shirt and pulling it over my head.
I reach for his belt buckle and flip it, but he’s faster, snatching my wrist.
I frown. “What?”
The corner of his mouth lifts. “That was for you, Shy.”
“But…”
“I appreciate that, baby, but I’m more than happy to watch you fall apart because of me. That was a gift in and of itself.”
“But I want to—”
“Later, you little troublemaker,” he mumbles and kisses me again.
I huff and reach for his coffee.
“I thought that was mine,” he says, watching me take a sip.
I shrug and hand it to him.
He takes a drink and sets it on the side table. “I’m sure you’re tired. You should go to bed and get some sleep.”
“I will if you do,” I tell him.
He purses his lips. “I’m not. I’ll get a nap later.”
I shift on his lap so my legs hang off the side of the chair. “Then it looks like we’re taking shifts.”
Laying my head on his shoulder, I cuddle into his large chest and close my eyes. “Wake me up in twenty.”
When sleep almost pulls me under, I feel the ghost of his hand drawing up and down my thigh in a soothing motion.
“Shy, honey, it’s time to get up,” he says.
I lift my head, confused, as the sun shines through the window. “What time is it?”
He glances at his watch. “It’s six in the morning.”
I huff. “I told you to wake me up in twenty minutes,” I grumble.
He chuckles. “You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to.”
I grin and push my hair back. “Nice try, I know that’s not true. I was probably drooling on you.”
He shrugs and doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to get up.
I peck his lips and he groans, grabbing my nape, holding me there. He drops his hand and leans back. “Good morning to me,” he says with a sleepy grin.
“Did you sleep a wink?” I ask him.
He shrugs. “I was thinking,” he says.
“Ledger…” I start to chastise him, but then I snap my mouth shut. This was my fault. I know Grey. This is retribution.
“I’ve pulled longer shifts than this. I’ll be alright, promise.”
I narrow my eyes before wrapping my arms around his neck. “Okay.”
“Are you going to arrest him today?”
His jaw twitches as he drags his knuckles in a circle on my lower back. “I’m going to go across the street to my neighbor’s and get their camera footage. It’s a good angle, so it shouldn’t be hard.”
I play with the edge of his shirt. That’s not an answer. I have a bad feeling about all of this, and I don’t know how to tell him.
His hand stills. “What’s wrong?”
I huff and grab his hand to kiss his palm. “I want you to get him more than anything, but I’m nervous for you and what he’ll say. I know him, Ledger. He’s smarter than he lets on. Yes, he’s a dumbass, but he’s not stupid.”
“Why do you say that?” he asks, and I can see the stress in the corners of his eyes. The way he almost winces at his own question.
My heart twists in my chest. Ledger must think I still have feelings for Grey, but he knocked the last of them from me, and they were hanging on by a thread at best.
“His father is powerful. They’re people who don’t mind burying you out in the pasture, never to be found. He’s practiced at manipulating people and even better at ignoring morality. He makes a lot of money and he loves spending it, and the more he makes for the family the more he gets.”
Ledger tilts his head thoughtfully.
“That explains why you were so hell-bent on damaging his stuff.”
I look down at my hands. “I knew I didn’t have the upper hand physically, and he might be smart, but I’m easily more petty.”
The corner of his mouth tips up. “I wouldn’t call what you did petty. I’d call it evening the score. But he deserves worse, and that’s after you accidentally shot him.”
“He does, but I can’t … I can’t press charges.”
“I know. That’s why I’m going to handle it,” he says and cups my cheek.
Tears well in my eyes, and I look up, trying to blink them away. I don’t want to cry, especially not because of this. But there are a lot of emotions, a lot of regrets I have when I think of Grey, and I’m working hard to move on from them. Telling Dad helped, but only so much.
I hop off his lap and wipe my eyes quickly. “You’re already late, which means I am too,” I mumble and head for my room.
Ledger grabs my wrist and tugs me into his chest. “Don’t hide your emotions from me, Shiloh. I can handle a woman crying as long as it’s not because of me,” he says.
I snort and shake my head as silent tears fall. “It’s not because of you. I regret a lot when it comes to Grey, and I wish I had more courage to leave him before he literally forced his hand.”
Ledger’s arms tighten around me, and I bury my face in his chest. “I understand that. But I need you to understand me. I will protect you from him. He might be smart, but he’s also cocky. Dumbasses and cockiness don’t go together. Usually, it means they’re easier to catch.”
“I think he did this because he was mad,” I mumble into his shirt.
“Don’t really don’t care what his motive was. I only care about putting cuffs on him.”
“But what if he talks about that night?” I mumble.
“It’s my word against his,” he says.
I take a shaky breath, stomach in knots. “But I don’t want you to take the fall for something I did.”
“Let’s not worry about that right now,” he says, releasing me. “Let’s get ready for work. I’ll drop you off, and then text me when you need me to pick you up. I need you to be with people or me until he’s brought in. Okay?”
I nod and he slaps my butt.
“Good girl,” he says.
I lick my lips, looking him up and down. “Quit that, go get dressed,” he says, admiring me with the same heat I’m feeling.
I hum and stare a little longer. “We have a date tonight, don’t we?” I ask him.
He smiles and rubs his mustache. “We do, but we’ll never get to it if we don’t get to work.”
I roll my eyes and groan, heading to my room. “I’d rather skip to it.”
Ledger chuckles and says, “Patience can be a beautiful thing, Shy.”
I groan and close my door. I feel like a stick of dynamite, and he lit the match last night.