27. Shiloh
Shiloh
Turning back and forth in the bathroom mirror, I question if this was the right outfit. I didn’t want to wear shorts. A dress felt too formal, but jeans don’t feel adequate for my in-laws … sort of.
I feel severely unprepared and out of place. I’m not meant to be connected to a family like his. They’re decent, normal, stable. I’ll just bring chaos into their lives, and I don’t want to do that.
I should have left after Grey beat me.
“Criminal, are you ready to—”
Ledger cuts off and looks at me. I haven’t worn this vest in a long time. I think I wore it to the rodeo years ago.
Instead of a necklace, I used an old bolo tie that used to be my dad’s.
“It’s bad, isn't it? Should I do a dress instead?” I ask him, but nod to myself, and slip past him in the doorway.
“Yeah, I’ll go change into a dress, then we can—”
Ledger grabs my wrist and yanks me into his chest, spreading his fingers at the base of my spine. He searches my eyes for a few seconds that feel like hours — hours I would happily live in their infinite capacity.
Then his mouth claims my own in a tender kiss abundant with a longing I’ve never known. It feels like he’s telling me so much without a single word.
Our foreheads rest together.
“You look beautiful, Shiloh. You always do,” he rasps.
I blink, processing his words.
“Even in my diner dress?” I ask him.
He huffs and pecks my lips. “I love that diner dress.”
“You do?” I ask him in utter disbelief because I hate that dress, but at least I don’t have to pick out clothes every morning. It makes things a little easier.
He grins and nods. “I swear you wear it just to mess with me.”
I smile and shake my head, brushing the tip of his nose in the process. “I wish that were the only reason I wore it,” I whisper.
He grins. “Are you ready to go?”
“Are you sure this is okay? Maybe it’s too low-cut.”
He looks down, trailing his finger over my chest, and the bolo tie. It’s not low-cut, but some might think it is.
“I like it. You’re missing a hat.”
“I don’t have an adult size hat. Dad got me one when I was little.”
“Maybe it’s time we change that,” he says.
I snort. “Not every citizen of Paxton needs a cowboy hat.”
He grins. “No, but I think my wife does.”
“Your wife, huh?”
“Yeah, my wife. Grab your jacket. Let’s go. If we’re late, Mama will be mad.”
“I’m already messing this up!” I shriek.
He huffs. “Trust me, Shy, the blame is all on me, and I don’t regret it for a second,” he says and kisses me again.
Ledger drives slowly up a hill to a large, beautiful farmhouse. It’s a classic white farmhouse with a bronze roof, two stories with a wrap-around porch. It’s like a dream.
He pulls to a stop next to a line of trucks, and I move to get out, but Ledger grabs my hand before I can.
“No, no,” he says, pulling my hand toward him.
He kisses my knuckles and looks me in the eye. “I know you’re nervous, that’s fair, but I’m asking you to trust me when I say they will love you. It will be fine.”
“We got married and can’t tell them why. Explain how that’s fine,” I mutter.
“That is … yeah, that’s fair, but it will be fine. I promise, they will love you because I know you’re not the woman you used to be,” he says.
I take a deep breath and nod because my throat is too tight and I’m not sure I believe him. I’ve never done anything to them, but they’ve associated me with Grey and the Kensingtons for years. Just because I’m not now, doesn't mean that immediately goes away.
Ledger helps me out of the truck and twines our fingers together and I squeeze to steady myself as he leads the way up the steps.
His finger rubs my ring finger once before he opens the door. It’s loud. It looks like everyone is already here. Whatever Mrs. Hayes is cooking fills my nose, and my stomach growls.
“My favorite brother,” Fletcher calls out. And as I come in behind Ledger, his eyes widen. “And he brought a friend.”
Tatum stands next to him and elbows him in the side. “Ouch, baby,” he grumbles.
Tatum focuses on me and holds out her hand. “Hi Shiloh, nice to see you again.”
I smile nervously, taking it.
“I’m pretty sure we had some classes together in high school. Right?” she asks.
I shrug. “Honestly, I don’t remember.”
She smiles, rubbing her stomach. “It feels like a lifetime ago.”
I glance at Ledger and he’s watching me carefully. “Yeah, it really does.”
“Mama! I don’t want to,” I’m pretty sure her name is Naomi, yells.
“I swear to you, Naomi, you will go on timeout for half an hour if you don’t sit down and get your homework done before dinner. This is what you get for putting it off since Friday.”
“I don’t like school,” Naomi grumbles, coming around the corner outfitted in a tutu and fishing jacket.
“My niece, well technically my second cousin, but she’s my niece, Naomi,” Ledger says in my ear.
“Oh, hi,” Mae says.
I wave and she smiles. “It’s nice to see you again, Shiloh.”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry for being so rude. I had to get the last batch of biscuits in the oven,” Mrs. Hayes says and comes around the island.
“Let me get a look at the newest Mrs. Hayes,” she says.
Not sure what that means. I nearly hide behind Ledger, but he chuckles, releasing my hand as his mother pulls me into her arms.
I’m shocked and … overwhelmed. It’s been a long time since a mother of any kind has given me a hug.
I wrap my arms around her, and she holds me for a second as if she knows I need a mom. My chest tugs, and a little part of me wants to run in the other direction, but little Shiloh sighs in relief because her mother left her a long time ago.
Mrs. Hayes pulls back and looks at me. “You’re beautiful,” she says.
I swallow thickly. “Thank you,” I rasp.
“Mama, maybe want to give my girl some space?” Ledger says.
“Your girl? Don’t you mean your wife?” Cooper shouts as he comes in through the kitchen.
“Yes,” Ledger grumbles.
Cooper claps him on the back, and Mrs. Hayes releases me to kiss him on the cheek.
Then Cooper sets his sights on me. “Hey Shiloh, how are ya?”
“Fine, good,” I tell him.
He nods and glances at Ledger.
“Alright y’all, where is your sister?” Mrs. Hayes says, looking at all of us. “And Ledger, is Sterling coming?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know, Ma, he’s on break for a bit. But maybe he’s busy.”
She frowns. “You didn’t talk to him?”
“We talk, but it’s not like we call each other every day to make plans.”
I roll my eyes and elbow him.
“These kids of mine, I swear, Shiloh,” she says. But she’s not actually mad. Her eyes are bright, cheeks rosy, and I wonder if this kind of life is possible for someone like me.
Ledger tugs me to the giant dining table that looks like it’s seen many dinners in its lifetime, but it’s sturdy as a rock, like the Hayes.
Mr. Hayes comes into the kitchen and gives Mrs. Hayes a peck on the cheek before snatching a biscuit off the table without her noticing. He sees me catch him and tosses a wink in my direction. I smile and shake my head as he wanders into the living room.
The Hayes bunch is so lively and loving.
“Sorry Mama! I’m sorry!” June yells as she hustles into the kitchen.
“I was wondering where you were,” she says.
Then Sterling comes in behind her. That’s interesting.
Sterling spots me and sends me a wink before Fletcher and Cooper crowd him. “Is Sterling here a lot?” I whisper to Ledger.
He takes a sip of beer and nods. “Yeah, as kids we did everything together. But his home life wasn’t great. He lived with us for a little while before we graduated, too. So he’s like another member of the family.”
I hum and take a sip of my own beer that was suddenly placed in front of me, observing the chaos. I love it.
“You okay?” he whispers in my ear. Before he can lean away, I turn my head and kiss him quickly.
“I’m great.”
He makes a face I’m not sure how to interpret and dips his chin.
“Okay! Now we can eat!” Mrs. Hayes yells.
June, Tatum, Mae, Sterling, Cooper, and Mrs. Hayes all gather the food from the counter and set it down on the table. While everyone else comes to find their chairs. Then I realize I had zero manners and didn’t offer to help.
I tug Ledger to me. “I forgot to offer to help. She’s going to hate me now.”
Ledger snorts, dropping a kiss on my temple without saying a word.
I frown at him, deciding to apologize to her later.
When everyone is seated, Mr. Hayes says grace, and then the enormous platters begin their turn around the table.
I scoop a bit of everything. I’ve never been a picky eater, and she made beer can chicken.
“No, Naomi, you may not get up until you finish your green beans.”
I look to the girl at my side, and Cooper is watching Naomi. She huffs and puffs, crossing her arms, not excited about the green bean situation.
Cooper turns to say something to his wife, and I quickly grab her plate, scooping the green beans onto mine, but I grab one and leave it on her plate to make it look more convincing.
She looks up at me with wide eyes, and I wink.
She grins widely and yells, “Daddy, I’m done!”
Cooper frowns, inspecting her plate. “Alright, princess, you can get up.”
Naomi hops out of her seat and takes off.
Ledger squeezes my thigh under the table, and I nearly jump out of my skin. He gives me one of those quiet smiles I find myself growing obsessed with, and he takes a forkful of green beans from my plate, shoving them into his mouth.
When everyone finishes dinner, the guys gather empty dishes, and Cooper starts loading them into the dishwasher while June puts leftovers in containers.
Jumping in, I stack the plates with one arm. Piling them high so we have to make less trips.
“Sweet, a waitress in the family will help dishes go faster,” June says, smiling at me, and there’s not a hint of malice in her eyes. Ledger was probably right. The past is the past. We’re not kids anymore.
“I’m happy to help,” I say, setting them next to the sink.
“Thank you for getting those. You didn’t have to,” June says.
I shrug. “Not a problem. Is there anything else you need help with?”
She looks over my shoulder, and I glance in the same direction.