Chapter 21
RAQUEL
I never realized how much trauma a person can withstand before they withdraw and crawl somewhere inside their mind like a child in fear, pulling into a corner of a darkened room.
The walls of my mind surround me from all around, closing in as I hide within them, even while knowing there’s no safety there. Just fear.
My tears fall like pieces of my skin.
My worth.
My dignity.
It’s all been ripped from me by a man my parents sent me to. By my father, who’s merely standing by and allowing the cruelty to happen.
The knowledge of that is deafening, louder than my crying as I sit shackled on this chair. I hear my screams, but they're distant, like I’m being taunted by the noise. Like I’m being chased by it and keep glancing behind me, hoping the monsters are too far to catch me.
But that’s one thing about monsters: they always find you in the end.
His blade lands against my collarbone. “Should I cut your face next? You think he’d still want you if I did? I doubt it.”
His vile chuckle snakes up my stomach, venom seeping through the slices of my skin he left there. There are probably dozens on my body. I stopped counting after the first few.
Maybe I should just let him kill me. Eventually he’ll cut an artery and I’ll be done for. It’s for the best. It’s better than this torture. Better than this agonizing pain.
Does my father hear my screams, begging for his help? Is he listening to them in silence? Does he really not love me enough to help me?
The laceration on my arm burns, but the other cuts compete for my attention. I ache everywhere. My jeans are long gone; I sit in just my panties, waiting for him to cut them off too.
His knife started at my breasts, randomly tearing through my skin, but the gashes didn’t end there. He moved on to my arms, then my stomach, then the sides of my thighs. I’m marred and bloody from head to toe.
“Did you go deaf or mute?” He slaps me hard.
I mutter, my lips trembling out Dante’s name. I’ve been calling out for him for what feels like hours. His name is branded to my lips, but I don’t say it out loud. The pain would be much worse if I did. But I can’t stop thinking about him, needing him, and knowing he would come if he could.
He’s the only thing I have left to cling to. My last dying wish is to see him one last time. No matter what my mother said, I know the truth is far more complicated than she claimed. Something far different than the treachery of her words.
I know he cared about me. I know the time we had wasn’t pretend. She can’t take that from me. No one can.
Dante and I were a complication worth exploring. But it’s too late now. I’ll never know if we could’ve been more than just our bodies wrapped in lies.
“I think I’ll take your cheek now.” Carlito’s voice poisons my thoughts as the blade nears my skin.
My breaths climb while my gaze focuses on the black handle. My stomach rolls with a wave of nausea as the knife draws toward me for the cut I know is coming.
I can’t anymore. I want this to be over. Please let me die. Ple—
Boom.
Something explodes from behind Carlito’s back.
I gasp as my lungs go numb in fear and my pulse slams harder in my neck. I catch the widening of his eyes before the knife falls from his grip.
He turns, leaving me there as he takes a step away. There’s a fog forcing itself through the hollowness of the open door, prowling among us like something else I should fear.
“Sal? You there?” Carlito asks as his boots crunch over the floor.
Silence.
If my father’s back in the room, he isn’t talking. Maybe he’s finally come to his senses and wants to save me.
More footsteps come stomping in. Someone’s definitely here. I can’t see their faces, but I can hear multiple people marching inside.
I’m afraid to move, unsure if I’ll be greeted by friend or foe. Who would come for me anyway?
But maybe I can run. Naked or not, I’d rather live and try to get help. Where would I even go, though? I don’t know where I am. I could be across the country, for all I know.
Loud scuffling breaks out as multiple men begin shouting and fighting. I don’t recognize any of their voices. The fog circles around me until the cloudiness is all I can see.
How the hell do I get out now?
“Raquel?! Where are you, sweetheart? Tell me you’re here.”
I gasp.
Dante?
Is he really here? Did he look for me?
It can’t be. My mind must be playing a cruel trick.
“It’s Dante. Scream out! Please, baby. I can’t fucking lose you.”
There’s a pause; all the footsteps are now gone except his, crashing wildly like he’s jogging.
This place is huge, and with the haze, it’s impossible for him to see me. I try to speak, but my lips don’t move.
“I’m sorry,” he continues. “For all of it. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I needed to say it anyway. I never thought I’d care about anyone the way I care about you. I promise to make everything up to you, starting now.”
His voice cracks as it edges nearer, like he’s walking toward me.
“Answer me. Tell me you’re still alive.”
He’s even closer now.
My heart clenches. He came for me. He really came. A quiet sob pours out of me until I’m blinded by the tears.
“God damn it!”
I hear the anguish in his tone, the torture stemming from his heart and into mine.
“I haven’t had the chance to tell you how much you mean to me. I can’t lose another person I love. Fuck, you can’t be gone.”
He loves me?
I whimper. The tears come harder now, like chaotic waves of misery.
“Baby?” he says with so much tenderness, it nearly rips out my heart.
Thank God for the mist, because when he sees me, I don’t know what he’ll do. What he’ll think.
Will I disgust him? Will he turn away from me like everyone else in my life has?
“Dante?” I whisper, as though still caught in disillusionment. “Is that really you?”
A strong, masculine hand is on my shoulder now as the fog begins to dissipate, and when his face starts to clear, I find the familiar eyes of a man I’ve come to know. The one who deceived me, but the one who saved me too.
Even with everything my mother said about him and even with the rest I still don’t know, I know one thing: I can trust him. Not just because he’s the only one I have, but because he’s the only one who matters now.
“Baby…” His brows lower as his palm rests over my cheek, while his eyes fall to my naked body filled with the evidence of my cruel torture.
He pulls away, and my heart breaks. I feel even more exposed as I shiver from the lack of his warmth. I should’ve known he’d find me unappealing this way. I’ll have too many scars for him to find attractive.
But the next thing I know, a knife is at my wrists, cutting off the rope. He drops it on the floor before removing his black hoodie and the black t-shirt underneath.
He secures his shirt around a wound on one of my thighs. This one is actively bleeding, while the others have visibly slowed.
“Let’s put this on, okay, baby?”
His eyes swim with emotion while his gaze scatters over me, and his jaw twitches as he puts the hoodie on my body. It hits me at my upper thighs, thankfully keeping me concealed.
The people I heard with him are gone. Even Carlito isn’t here. He must’ve sent them into another area.
Scooping me up into his arms, he starts walking toward the exit.
“What he did to you…” He sucks in an angry breath. “I’m gonna do far worse. Believe that. I’ll make him know suffering. I’ll make him wish he’d never laid a finger on you. And from now on, no one ever will.”
I burrow my face into his shoulder, sniffling with a cry, wanting that more than anything. I want that son of a bitch to hurt. I want to take the knife he used on me and bury it in his neck over and over, until I no longer hear him taunting me.
I shiver. The depravity of my desire scares me, but I want it anyway.
“I have to see it,” I confess.
“See what?” He stops, his eyes boring.
“See you hurt him.” I swallow away the heavy throbbing in my throat. “I need it, Dante. I need the closure. Don’t take it away from me.”
“Baby, I need my men to take you to the hospital.”
“No.” My tone is harsh. “Please, Dante. I have—”
“Shh. Whatever you need, wife.” He lowers his mouth to my forehead; his tender kiss whispers down my body.
That word…
I cry, unable to still the waves.
“Does that mean you still want to be married to me?” His gaze sweeps over my face, dripping with an ache.
“Of course I do, Dante.” I lean into him, feeling accepted. Wanted. Loved.
“God,” he breathes out. “I’m so damn happy to hear you say that.”
I try to smile, but it comes out broken.
“If you want a hand in hurting him at any point…” he says. “If you need to do it yourself, I’ll have a knife waiting for you. I know all too well about revenge, and I’m not about to take that away from the woman I love.”
“There’s that word again.” I crack a hint of a grin through the tears dimming my vision.
“What word?” He smirks. “Woman? Revenge? There were just so many.”
“Oh, Dante,” I cry, my voice splitting into pieces. “I really thought I was gonna die. That I’d never see you again. Thank you. Thank you for finding me.”
“I’ll always find you. No matter the cost.” He slants his forehead against mine while his arms form a protective shield, and I know with them around me, no one will harm me again.
We stay that way for seconds, or maybe minutes. It’s hard to say when I feel so safe and cared for. He’s the first to retreat, staring deep into my eyes.
“I’m falling in love with you, Raquel. The moment you were gone, that’s when I was ready to admit it to myself.
” His lips kiss the corner of mine, and my eyelids flutter from the sensation.
“I know we have a lot to talk about once this shit is taken care of, but you and me? This is real.” His face contorts with painful regret.
“You own me as much as I own you. And there’s nothing more I want in life than that. ”
There’s so much truth within those words, and the reality of it hits me.
“I want that too.”
I may have a lot of questions that I need answers to, but he’s the one who showed up for me when my own family turned away. That’s enough.