Chapter 3 #2
“Patrick, I—” Her breaths fall over my mouth, her lower lip stroking over mine.
“This is my job.” She tries to push herself back, but I don’t let her.
She can say whatever she wants just like this, where I can taste her words, wanting to taste the rest of her in between.
“This is what I do. I don’t know you and you don’t know me, and honestly, you don’t want to know me.
” She pauses. “I’m not a good person. If you knew the kind of stuff I’ve done, you’d probably never want to see me again. ”
“None of us are good, Joelle. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of.
” I slip my palm up to her cheek, cupping her gently like I’ve been wanting to, and instead of recoiling, she burrows further into my touch.
“Whatever you had to do, I’d never judge you for it.
Because I bet you anything, I’ve done worse. ”
Taking in a long breath, she lets out a sad laugh. “I don’t know why, but I believe you.”
“You should.” I stroke her full lips with mine. “I don’t lie.”
She forces a long sigh, pushing away from me, and this time, I let her go.
“I’ve never had a dance at a place like this before.” I attempt to lighten the mood. “You’d be my first.”
“You mean you’ve never had a stripper grinding on your dick at a fancy club before?” She giggles all sweet. “I’m flattered.”
A deep-chested chuckle breaks free with a groan as she shifts over me, my cock straining, my lower lip trapped between my teeth, forgetting where we are and why she’s really on top of me.
“I never wanted one before you,” I admit.
“But I like the way you dance, Joelle. I don’t want you to do it for me because it’s your job, I want you to do it because you want to.
” My hands fall to her hips, my thumbs massaging with slow circles.
“So, until that moment happens, when I come here, we talk. We hang out. That’s it. And you get to keep your clothes on.”
A harsh exhale rushes out of her chest. “Patrick,” she whispers, fear looping in her voice, on her face. “They’ll know.”
“Are there cameras in here?”
She shakes her head. “Only in the hall.”
“Then they won’t know. I won’t stay a minute past my time, and they’ll still get their money. On top of that, I’ll pay you two grand each time I come here, and every penny will be yours. Got it?”
“Why are you doing this?” Her brows slant into a frown as her gaze falls tenderly to mine. She palms the side of my neck, my pulse loudly thrashing in my ears, my heart weak for this woman.
She wakes up every part of me. The man. The boy. The hero. And the villain. With her, I’m all of them at the same time.
I shrug. “My brother once met a man, a long time ago, who helped us when we really needed it. I have a feeling you need that too.”
“I do,” she breathes. It’s the first real thing she’s said, and the way she says it, the shudder in her voice, goddamn, it breaks me as a man.
“You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you.” A hand slides up her spine, fingers parting through the luscious curtain of her hair, weaving deeper as I lean her forehead to mine.
“Then do it.” Her tone lowers with a tremble, the words skating past my lips. “It’s been a while since a man kissed me. Really kissed me. Really looked at me the way you do.”
“Fuck, Joelle. I want to.” I yank her back, my control practically breaking. “I want to so badly, baby, but I can’t.”
“I figured.” She scoffs, trying to push off my lap, but I don’t let her, gripping her hips, and keeping her just where she is. “A guy like you would never want a girl like me, who does the things I do.”
With my palms returning to her waist, I fasten them tighter. “You think I don’t want to kiss you because I’m afraid of where your mouth has been?”
She shrugs, avoiding me.
“You’re damn beautiful, you know that, and even more irresistible when you’re doing that thing with your lip.”
“What thing?” She narrows a playful gaze, popping up her chin.
“You know what thing.” My fingers go to her mouth, and I place each one of my thumbs at the corners and pull down. “That.”
“It’s called a pout.” She rolls her eyes on a laugh, shoving my hands away, then I’m laughing too, grabbing both her wrists as she inadvertently rubs her pussy over my cock while she moves. As she does, she moans. It’s low, but goddamn I heard it, and nothing ever sounded so good.
Her eyes widen as she realizes what she did, that awareness thickening the air around us, the addiction, the attraction building in my body, in hers too. I know it’s there.
If I had just met her, I probably would’ve fucked her already, but I can’t.
She wouldn’t be like the rest, a random hookup, a booty call I need just to get off.
I wouldn’t use her to hide the torment stitched onto my soul.
With her, I’d feel. For once, I’d feel something. Something real. Something worthy.
And I want that. Maybe my heart is capable of beating for someone else, but now isn’t the right time.
My life’s been riddled with too much loss. I’ve never wanted to tie myself to someone else—another person to care about, only to lose them, like we lost our family.
Danger is all around me, too great to ever involve a woman I’d grow to care for. Once our enemies realize we’re alive, they’ll do whatever they can to cause us pain, and what better way than through the women we love. Joelle will be safer never being with me.
“I’m sorry. I…ahh, should go,” she stammers, trying to wriggle her way out of my lap, her cheeks flushed with what I think is embarrassment from that sexy damn moan she gave me.
“I didn’t say you could go.” I run my palm up and down her back, thrusting my hips up so she can feel the effect she has on me.
She bites into the corner of her lower lip, squeezing her thighs around mine.
“Any man would be lucky to have you, you know that, right?” My hand coasts up to the back of her head, my fingers twining in the soft strands of her hair.
“But I’m not that man. There’s too much in my life that I wouldn’t want to harm you, to touch even a single hair on your beautiful head.
That’s the only reason I can’t kiss you.
Because if I do, I’m gonna want more.” I let my lips fall against her cheek, just keeping them there.
I breathe her in with a gradual close of my eyes.
“More of you. Of this.” I suck in a deep breath as she whimpers, her hips rolling over me, my balls aching to feel her come undone.