Chapter 10
AIDA
“Do you have a boyfriend?” my cousin Raquel asks me a few days later as we sit in her parents’ kitchen for her mom’s birthday. The grown-ups are all talking loudly in the den, while Chiara and I join her here where it’s quiet.
“Umm…” I play with the bowl of potato chips, avoiding both of their hard stares.
What do I say? That I’m crazy for a boy I’ve known since I was eight?
That he’s a prisoner in our basement? Oh, and I also have a baby.
Well, he isn’t mine. My dad just brought him home one day.
Oh, here, Aida, you should know what to do. Bye. “No, I don’t have one.”
“That sucks,” she says, her mouth twisting in pity. “I mean, I don’t either because of my stupid parents.” She rolls her eyes. “But at least I could go to school.”
Ouch. I know she didn’t mean it that way, but ouch.
“Your dad is such a douche,” Chiara adds. “I’m sorry. I mean my dad is Satan, so I sympathize, but at least I can escape mine in school. You can’t even do that.”
Okay, guys, just keep piling it up.
I simply nod, tightening my lips.
“You could talk to us, you know?” Raquel adds, placing her palm over the top of my hand.
No, I can’t. If I tell you the truth, my father will hurt Matteo or maybe even Robby. He told me as much many times throughout the years. Threatening to kill Matteo and me both if I ever opened my mouth to anyone about anything. I believe him.
“I know I can.” The words are a whispered lie. “Do you have anyone special?” I ask Chiara, hoping to change the focus away from me.
She shakes her head, her features growing depressed. “I have no one. No one but myself.”
“You have me.” Raquel bumps her shoulder.
It suddenly makes me sad we aren’t close, but we couldn’t be.
I’m just as much my father’s prisoner as Matteo is.
He’s never let me have a friendship with them, no matter how much I’ve begged.
I think it’s because he’s afraid I’ll spill his secrets.
But I’d never do that, not when Matteo’s safety is at stake, and Robby’s too.
I wish they got to know Matteo like I have. I bet they’d love him just as much as I do. He’s got the kindest eyes when he looks at me. It’s like the ice in them thaws away, leaving the boy he once was behind. But it doesn’t last. Whenever he goes with my father’s men, he comes back different.
But I’ll love him anyway. Like I once told him when we were younger, friends don’t give up on each other. No matter what.
“Whatcha girls doing in here?” My father suddenly appears, like a ghost haunting me, no matter where I try to hide.
“Nothing much, Uncle Agnelo,” Chiara throws in. “Just eating chips and discussing school stuff. Math sucks.” She laughs as her eyes land to me, hiding the truth of our conversation.
He chuckles dryly. “Yeah. Never cared for it either.” His attention zips between us, a suspicious glint in his eyes. “We’re leaving in ten,” he tells me. “Make sure you’re ready.”
“Yes, Dad.” But he’s already marching out of sight.
“You think he believed you?” Raquel whispers to Chiara, flitting a peek to where he just came from as though afraid he’ll return.
“I hope so,” Chiara says. “I don’t know who’s scarier, Aida, your dad or mine.”
With a deep sigh, I say, “It’s a tie.”
“You’re not kidding.” She snickers.
We remain hushed for a moment until Chiara speaks again. “I miss my mom.” Raquel grips her hand, pinching her lips tight. It’s been two years since Chiara’s mom disappeared. No one knows what happened.
“I’m sorry,” I say and meaning it. “I don’t know how it feels to have a mom, but I bet it was nice.”
“She was pretty great.” She smiles big, looking distantly, wiping quickly under her eye. “Anyway, you got ice cream in this place or what?” she asks Raquel, blinking rapidly. “I want a bowl full of chocolate.”
“I think so.” Raquel giggles, standing up to check the fridge. “You’re in luck, cuz,” she calls, pulling out a carton, lifting it in the air. “Let me grab some bowls.”
“You know what,” Chiara retorts. “Just get some spoons. We’ll eat right out of it. I think we’ve earned it.”
“I think you’re right,” I say, meeting her gaze, a threaded smile between us, like she sees me, the silent hurt I carry in my heart.
Raquel brings over the spoons and we dig in, laughing together, having the best time as though our life is normal like all the other kids our age. But there’s nothing normal about us, especially me.
MATTEO
“Did you get to eat?” she asks as soon as she’s down here. A pretty flowy blue dress hits her knees, the straps thin at her shoulders. I shouldn’t look at her the way I am right now, but I can’t help how beautiful she is.
Her blonde hair falls over both shoulders, pinned back at the center, away from her face, which is a good thing, because her face is too breathtaking to hide.
I clear my throat, gesturing with my head at the empty bowl on the other side of me.
“Oh good.” She moves forward, playing with her hands, clasping them tightly in front of her. “Sorry I wasn’t here to bring it to you. I was out with—”
“A date?” I cut her off, gritting my teeth so damn hard, it fucking hurts. I don’t want her out with anyone but me. But she has to live her life.
The chain cuts into my skin as I pull, reminding me that I’ll never be with her. I’m the secret she keeps, not the boy she falls for. I run a hand down my face, avoiding her gaze.
Everything I know about the world, I learned from her, and she’s one good teacher.
Being secluded here, I would’ve wasted away, been a moron who knew nothing, but she taught me all of it.
So yeah, I know about dating, and sex, and all that shit.
When she pulled out a health-ed book last year, or whatever it was called, and explained that whole business… Yeah, it was damn awkward.
I don’t want her doing any of that with someone else. I want that with her. Someday. When it can be the first time for both of us. Together.
Nice to dream, except it won’t ever happen. She’s free in more ways than I am. That’s the way it should be. I’d never wish my life on Aida.
She doesn’t know I like her. I never admitted my feelings. Because what’s the point? What could we do about it? Not like I could take her on a date or buy her flowers.
I want to take her on a picnic, hold her hand, our faces to the sun. The warmth… I could feel it. My eyes fall to a close. Deep breaths. We’re there now.
Her soft footfalls approach, yanking me from the fantasy, and I manage a glimpse at her.
“Me? A date?” she finally answers. “Please, who would want me anyway?”
My pulse races as I give her a long stare. And once I find that doubt in her eyes, I can no longer hold it in, and it comes spilling out.
“Me!” I slap a palm against my chest. “I’d want you. That’s who.”
“Wha-what?” she stammers, her brows tightening, mouth trembling. “Do you—do you really mean that?” Her steps draw closer.
“Of course, I mean that, Aida,” I whisper. “How could you not see it?” My heart tilts with emotion, gripping me with more than I’ve ever felt before, especially when I look into her unsure eyes.
“I just…” Her lashes go downcast.
There’s that doubt again.
“Sit with me.” I pat the empty space, needing her close.
And when she does, when she lowers right beside me, clasping her hands on her knees, I slip mine between them, threading my fingers through hers.
“I like you, Aida, even when I shouldn’t.
I’ve liked you for a while now. I just haven’t had the guts to admit it.
” She finally looks at me, her expression stunned, those long lashes fluttering.
“I—I like you too,” she confesses with a hushed breath, like she’s afraid someone will hear it. “There’s no one I like more.”
My mouth quirks up at the corner, my stomach dropping in that nervous way I only get with her.
She likes me. It’s a relief to hear her say that. For so long, I thought she’d never see me that way. Sure, we’re friends, but I’m the boy locked away in her basement, and she’s the daughter of the man holding the key.
We’re complete opposites in that way, but we’re also the same in the ways that count. We like the same jokes, have the same wishes for what our life will look like when we’re out of here, and most importantly, we like spending time together.
I often wonder if we’d be friends had we attended the same school. Would she give a boy like me a chance? Would she be shy the way she is now? I bet all the guys would follow her around, desperate for even a bit of her attention.
I can’t believe her asshole of a father won’t let her go to school. That’s got to be against some kind of law.
“What do we do now?” she asks, her gaze dancing between the floor and me.
“Get married?” I tease with a smirk.
“I’m serious.” She giggles, swatting me lightly on the chest.
“I don’t know, Aida. We just exist. Here. In this basement. Dreaming of another life.”
Her eyes bore into mine, glistening with tears as she forces a smile. “I’d never want to exist with anyone but you.”
“I wish I could give you more.” My voice is steady, yet there’s a tiny crack in it.
She gives my hand a squeeze. “You’ve given me enough.”
“Somehow I don’t think that’s true.”
Her eyes dance between me and her fingers playing on her lap. “You…um…you can give me something else.”
“What’s that?” I sit up straighter, wanting to give her everything.
“I’ve never…” Her voice is a barely there whisper.
“Never what?”
“Never kissed anyone.”
My pulse quickens. “Do you want to kiss me, Aida?” I breathe.
“Yes.” She nods, her gaze tucked into mine.
Slowly, with a soft exhale, I lean into her, and I do.
I kiss her.