Chapter 20
I don’t see that blonde woman anymore. It’s as though once she was done with the message she had for me, she left. Every night I go to sleep, I hope I see her again, just once.
I still have so many questions with no one to give me answers.
If she’s my mother, if that’s who I saw, then I want to get another chance to speak to her, to let her know that though I may not know her, I love her anyway.
But she never comes. The dreams have stopped claiming me, and I’m afraid it’s over for good.
Hearing a bang in the hallway, I slip out of the warm bed, the clock reading midnight. I should’ve been asleep long ago but I couldn’t get my mind to relax with all these riddling thoughts.
Robby breathes easily beside me, his little face peacefully asleep. I leave a small kiss over the hair on the top of his head, so as not to wake him. Then, I rise out of bed, my bare feet hitting the cold wooded floor.
The creaking outside is louder now, someone coming up the stairs. Before I can make it to the door, it barges open.
Drew appears, a hoodie on, black sweats, and in his waistband, there’s a gun.
“What the hell are you doing?” I whisper-shout, darting a glance back at Robby who rustles before turning the other way.
“Your father needs you. We’re going for a drive.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I start toward him, gesturing for him to leave the room, but he won’t move.
“The car’s waiting downstairs,” he stresses, a flash of rage overshadowing his tone. “Hurry up.”
My insides shift, curling from the danger lurking all around.
Where could I be going? The club? Again? No. I can’t.
My breathing hastens, an ache lodging in my heart, moisture building in my eyes. “I’m not leaving Robby alone.” I stifle the tears.
“Alison’s downstairs. Let’s go before I shoot the damn kid.”
“Aida?” Robby whispers, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.
“It’s okay, sweetheart.” I rush over, tucking him back down. “Go back to sleep. I’ll be back soon.” I stroke his cheek and he smiles soundly.
“I’ll go. Okay?” I tell Drew. “Give me a few minutes to get dressed.”
“No. You won’t need to do that.” He comes forward just as Robby’s eyes flash open from the harshness of those words.
Robby stares wildly at him. “Don’t go, Aida,” he begs, his hand clutched to my wrist. “I’m scared.”
“Shut up, kid. We’ve got grown-up business to do. Go to sleep and dream about ponies or some shit.”
“I love you, Robby. I’ll have Ms. Greco come up to be here with you, okay?”
“Okay.” Tears glisten in his eyes. “I love you so much,” he cries, jumping into my lap, and I hold him as tight as my arms will let me, painful emotions running up my throat.
I gulp them away. I don’t want him to see my fear.
His is enough. He shouldn’t carry mine. He’s been dealt with more than any child should and I don’t want to add to that.
I lay him back down, tucking the blanket tight around his neck as his eyes stitch up with worry. “Everything’s okay. I promise.” But as I go to the closet, glancing over at him, I find I haven’t alleviated his anxiety. It’s still there, cast over his face.
Slipping into my sneakers, I hurry back to him, leaving a kiss on his cheek. “I love you.” With a final look at him, my face forcing the hardest grin I’ve ever had to make, I walk out the door, hoping I haven’t left him forever.
We make it down where a pacing Ms. Greco waits by the foot of the stairs. “What’s going on? Where are you taking her?”
Matteo.
My tears fall and I can’t make them stop anymore.
“Take care of Robby,” I say to her. “He’s scared.”
“Let’s go!” Drew shouts, grabbing my arm as I look back at her
Her tears slip down her cheeks, and in her eyes, I taste the fear like it’s my own. She thinks I’m going back there and she’s probably right. My hands tremble, my body breaking out in a shudder as I’m dragged out the door and into a black SUV. A driver I don’t recognize is behind the wheel.
Drew puts on my blindfold and a bag over my head this time, then throws me into the cold seat. One of my worst fears is confirmed: I’m going back there.
My panting breaths tremble out, heavy as the thundering of my heartbeats. A door shuts and his voice drifts from the front. “Don’t think of escaping. If you do, your father has instructed me to shoot her and the boy. Your boyfriend too.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” I say with whispered words.
The car sets to a roll.
“How could you all do this and live with yourselves?” My question comes out before I fully thought about asking it.
“We do what we gotta do to survive.”
“Is that what you tell yourselves?”
He doesn’t say anything else as the drive continues, and all I can do is wait for the torment to begin once we arrive.
The car jolts before it turns right, and then it stops. Doors open, then mine does too as he clutches my forearm. “Come on. We’re here.”
I climb out, the same small pebbles at my feet, the ones I remember all too well. Drew pulls me inside, dragging me down the stairs before the music scratches up my skin. I don’t remove my blindfold, not this time. But he yanks it off, stuffing the bag and blindfold into his pocket.
“My God…these kids. They’re so young.” I sniffle. “Monsters. All of you.”
“I don’t do that shit,” he tells me, as though that absolves him in some way.
“You haven’t stopped it either.”
“Whatever, bitch. Watch your mouth. Your boyfriend isn’t here to protect you this time.”
A tremor rolls down my body as he leads me to a black door, a different one this time. When it opens, a tall, beautiful woman greets me.
“I’ve got this,” she says to him. He lets me go and marches off.
“Come on, we don’t have much time. Your clothes are in the bathroom. I’ll do your hair and makeup after you’re dressed.”
I back up a step, my eyes scanning what looks like a dressing room. Two floor-to-ceiling mirrors line one side, a clothing rack in the corner, and a black leather sofa against the other wall. There’s a vanity there too with all kinds of makeup on it.
“Who are you? Why am I here?” My stomach heaves and churns, my lungs growing tight.
“I’m Destiny. You’re going to be in a show tonight, so hurry before boss man gets mad at you. Believe me, you don’t want him mad.” Her long, shiny black hair brushes down to the small of her back.
“A show? What kind of show?”
She laughs once. “You’re new, huh? Well, one piece of advice…” She slaps her hand on my shoulder, her gray eyes lined with a thick row of black liner on the top lid. “Do whatever they say. You want to please the master.” She rolls her eyes as she goes to the vanity, sharpening an eye pencil.
“Who’s the master?”
I don’t even have to ask. I already know.
“Agnelo of course. Faro is the boss, boss, but Agnelo is the one who runs everything and everyone here.”
“And this show? I’ll have to have se—sex with someone?”
“Mm-hmm. So come on, go get dressed before they come in here and flip out.”
My head violently shakes, my skin growing clammy. I fight the feeling to run, to go anywhere but here, but I can’t.
“I’m sorry, sweetie, but you don’t really have a choice.” She shrugs as I blink back tears, knowing she’s right.
There’s no one in this world who matters more than the three people in my life.
So I slog into that bathroom and I put on a white mini dress and slip into another pair of strappy heels, gold this time.
I come out, knowing when I do, I’ll never be the same.
That the nightmares I had after the first time will turn into something even worse.
“Wow!” Destiny’s eyes skim my body. “You look good. Hiding a body behind those baggy clothes, huh?”
I swallow, trying to step over to her in these shoes, but it takes me a while.
She threads her hand through mine. “Come on, I’ll help you.” I take a seat before the vanity as she comes to stand behind me, gathering my hair in her palms as she assesses it, peering at me through the mirror.
“You look terrified.”
“And I shouldn’t be?”
“Well, no, I guess you should. I’ve been doing this for a very long time, so I’m immune now.” She picks up a curling iron. “I have stuff you can take. You know, to make the experience duller? It helps.”
“Drugs?”
She nods. “They give it to us if we want it. I have a lot for the new girls who come here.”
Picking up the spray from in front of me, she adds some to my hair.
“No. I’m not interested. If my father wants me to be raped, I’m going to remember everything.”
She stills, her movements paused. “Your father?”
“Your boss. Agnelo.”
She gapes in shock, her full, bright red lips stunned like the rest of her. “My. God. I thought my life was bad. That’s some sick shit.”
“Tell me about it.”
She curls the ends of my hair, then starts on my makeup. I don’t even know what she’s putting on, but it’s a lot of stuff. From my eyes to my chin, she covers every part of my face. I’ve never worn makeup. I never wanted to.
“You ready to see yourself?” She grins like she just prettied me up for a school dance.
I nod, and she turns me toward the mirror.
“Holy crap,” I whisper.
“Good, right?”
I can’t stop staring. It doesn’t even look like me. My brows are thicker looking, my lips a soft pink, while my cheeks a darker rosy hue, touched with a shimmer. There are also shades of brown on my lids.
“You’re really good at this.”
“I know.” She stands taller. “I used to be a makeup artist before…”
Her eyes grow distant. Sad. But instantly she erases it, as though that mask has melted right back into her face, helping her to forget someone she once was. “Anyway. You’re ready,” she announces.
But that’s the last thing I want to be. My pulse beats so loud, it pounds in my ears. “Do you know who I’ll have to…”
“I don’t know. They don’t tell us. Just ignore the crowd.”
“Crowd?” My eyes grow with a wild stare as I spin toward her, gut roiling.
“Shit. Sorry. I forgot to mention that. Yeah, there’ll be a crowd. They’ll have masks on though, which is the only good thing, because at least you can’t see them.” She kind of frowns. “I’m sorry. I really am. But you’ll be okay.”