Chapter 3 #3
“I think once I had Carnelia and realized I was nothing like my mother. For so long, I was afraid I’d become like her.
That it was in my DNA, whether I liked it or not.
But when I had her, and with each growing year, I knew that girl was my whole world and I'd die before I let her feel an ounce of what my mother made me endure.”
When it’s finally my turn, when they all look to me for my answer, I say what I knew all along. That exact moment when that dark cloud overhead drifted away.
“The day the twins were born.” My lips lift at the corners, my eyes going downcast. “Even when the doctor assured me I could have kids after I got shot, I didn’t wanna believe it.
Not really. I had this heaviness in my chest. Fear, I think.
I held onto it, until they came out of me with a cry so loud, I welcomed it with tears.
It was in that moment that I felt okay.” I finally glance up again.
“For once in my life, I had something my father couldn’t take from me.
And I know he’ll never take anything again. From any of us.”
“That’s right.” Jade picks up her drink and lifts it in the air.
We do the same, clanking our glasses together with happiness radiating through us, like a burst of light, shining over the once-cloudy skies.
I don’t know how long we talk for, but before we know it, Sonia is bringing out a cake made of white fondant, decorated with yellow stars and a sleeping baby on top of it.
“It’s time!” she announces, placing it on the dessert table for Dom and me to cut into.
My heartbeats pound like crazy as Janet goes off to tell the guys to end their game.
When they return minutes later, Dom reaches for my hand and squeezes it.
“You ready, baby girl?” His voice is warm and raspy against the space below my ear.
“I think so.”
In this moment, I think about my mom. It seems like she’s there with me at every big moment in my life. Every pregnancy, every birth, every time I’m sad or happy, I start to think of her as though she’s standing right beside me.
Maybe she is. Maybe we just can’t see those we love once they pass, even when they’re right in front of us.
Taking a deep breath, I get to my feet, my hand still tucked in Dom’s as we head toward the dessert table adorned with rustic flowers. Everyone gathers around us.
“I still got a shot at becoming the favorite uncle with this one,” Enzo throws out.
“You wish,” Matteo says on a chuckle, gathering Aida to his side, with Enzo and Jade beside them.
“Gianni. Frankie. Come on, boys,” Dom calls. “We’re going to find out if you two are having a brother or a sister.”
They drop their cement trucks that Matteo and Aida got them and run to us, their toothy grins bright and full of youthful excitement.
“Who you got? Boy or girl?” Dante kneels, asking Frankie.
He twists his mouth around and looks up at me with a smile. “A girl.”
“All right.” Dante nods, his mouth quirking up, then turns to Gianni. “And you?”
“A brother.” He crosses his tiny arms over his chest and lifts his chin in the air.
Dante rises with a laugh, ruffling Gianni’s hair. “You’re gonna love the baby no matter what.”
“Only if she likes cars.” He narrows a mean stare.
That gets us all laughing as I pick up the knife on the table, my pulse thundering wildly in my throat. My entire body vibrates with excitement.
Dom places his hands over mine, and my gaze wanders to my husband’s, unsure how with each growing year I love him more. It’s as though my heart grows to fit all this love I’ve been lucky to have.
As we place the knife against the cake, I think of my mother, who never got to see her child grow up, and I hope that I get to have that chance.
That I can live to see my babies get older, to experience the kind of relationship I have with their father.
Because everyone deserves that, to feel the epic kind of love.
The kind that grows. The kind that doesn’t wither your soul away, but helps it soar.
And with Dom, I fly. I leap. And I know if I fall, he’ll be there to catch me.
“I’m ready,” I tell him with a deep breath.
With his nod, we drop the knife into the cake as slowly as possible, like we don’t want this moment to end.
“It’s pink!” Frankie yells from beside me. “It’s pink!”
I gasp, staring at the first sight of the filling.
A girl. Oh my God.
My eyes water over, my throat clogging up with emotions as we drop the knife and look at one another.
“You’re having a daughter,” I cry as he holds my face in his hands, his gaze glazing over.
“And I hope she’s every bit like her mother. Tough. Loving. A total badass.”
“Dom . . .” I throw my arms around his shoulders as everyone whistles and cheers around us.
Athena Rose Cavaleri. That’s what I’m going to name her, after my mom. A sudden chill rushes down my right arm, a feather-like touch skating over it.
When I look up at the cherry blossom tree behind Dom’s back, the flowers sway, yet there’s not a trace of wind at all.
Mom.
I grin, knowing it has to be her. I want to believe that so badly.
Once it sways again, my face brightens and my heart expands, because I know for certain she’s been here, watching me after all.